Problems Only Steampunks Have

[crookedfingers]

At least he's in the right place to confess
Thats if the smell doesn't get to him...

[von Corax]

But we are Steampunk!  Surely we can invent a contraption to solve those problems!

I'm now trying desperately not to imagine a horribly-complicated mechanical solution with three specially-trained operators and a definite risk of inappropriate steam-burns... 

[Tito Alba]

But we are Steampunk!  Surely we can invent a contraption to solve those problems!

umm... nappies maybe

[Ella, Aerial Musketeer]

i like tophats, im a girl, my persona is a trickster a pickpocket and steals stuff, so a general ragamuffin. so why cant i have a tophat?after all i 'stole' it (bought it)

speaking formally most people think its odd.

finding watch movements

[Rockula]

Accidently pulling a leg off your Victorian Lady Penny Farthing racer and having to do a last minute repair.

[inigo jameson-gatling]

Never arriving as my airship compass is six degrees out.

[VampirateMace]

Explaining to your family why the kitchen countertops are occupied by tea soaked maps and documents.

[Stormcat]

-The Vet's refusal to turn over the body of your beloved cat so you can hollow her out and turn her into an automaton.

-Going out and purchasing proper tea while being harassed by some idiots who are just going to staple the teabags to their tricorner hats and complain about taxes.

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

-Being unable to find records of good Ragtime music in a record store.

-Going out in public dressed in your steampunk finery, yet the ignorant slap you with the "Hipster" label.

-The daily airship commute from New York to London, especially around teatime!

-scrubbing coal soot from your clothes.

-being late to teatime!

-building codes which prevent you from turning the average mid-century suburban house into a cathedral of science. Or even just to install an airship parking space!

[H. MacHinery]

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

Surely you mean 1900?  Or are you being evenmore Steampunk that thou?

-The daily airship commute from New York to London, especially around teatime!

Daft bugger!  You know the Yanks don't respect teatime!

[MistressMagpie]

Finding moustache wax, and getting your mutton chops trimmed evenly.

My father made up some for himself by cutting beeswax with petroleum jelly until it was the right consistency. He also trims his own chops.

That's exactly what I do.  I tried a few "professional" waxes and most cost a fortune with no holding power at all so I found that recipe somewhere and never looked back.  Although it could give rise to another specifically steampunk problem:

- scraping burnt moustache wax from the bottom of a pan

tip: a bain marie, or putting a pot in water and heating the water instead of the pot directly is a good way to avoid this if anyone is going to try it

Pa uses a 8oz steel can, crimped with pliers on one side to make a bit of a spout. You'll never have to worry about getting the wax all cleaned off the wife's cookware!

I'm afraid my father heats his little contraption by putting it directly on the stove instead of into a saucepan as a double boiler, however... Not the safest arrangement. :/

[Madasasteamfish]

-The daily airship commute from New York to London, especially around teatime!

Daft bugger!  You know the Yanks don't respect teatime!

Of course they don't. They never have done since they foolishly decided to rebel against their benevolent British Overlords.

[Sylum Verinta]

-You walk into work everyday. Looking at things like:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and not being able to use any of it! D:

I work in the elctrical supply indusrty.

[D.Oakes]

I say this with the look of a sad puppy dog:  YOU CAN'T BUY ANY OF IT?   

[Stormcat]

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

Surely you mean 1900?  Or are you being evenmore Steampunk that thou?

I am quite serious. All the best steam stuff occurred during the reign of Queen Vicky, and she only ruled til 1901!

-The daily airship commute from New York to London, especially around teatime!

Daft bugger!  You know the Yanks don't respect teatime!

I'm afraid this is true. As the child of Polish immigrants, I have been taught to respect teatime, but it seems few of my "assimilated" peers even know what it is!

[D.Oakes]

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

Surely you mean 1900?  Or are you being evenmore Steampunk that thou?

I am quite serious. All the best steam stuff occurred during the reign of Queen Vicky, and she only ruled til 1901!

Why have I not been told of this?  Queen Victoria gave up her rule?  Tesla fixed her health, she is still alive.  She must be Queen! 

[Sylum Verinta]

I say this with the look of a sad puppy dog:  YOU CAN'T BUY ANY OF IT?   

At the price we sell copper grounding rods at?! HA....nope. Not on my budget. At least not how much I want to use. Although, I am saving our pieces of scrap cable that end up after we finish off a reel. I'll probably strip off the insulation and go from there.

As for the copper cord itself, I can snip small pieces off of it.

Notice how I said not allowed. Never said anything about some of it disappearing in small increments.


Now that I think about it, there's a lot of "scrap" in this warehouse....Hmmm....>.>.....*disappears to go rumage through every corner of this place*

[Stormcat]

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

Surely you mean 1900?  Or are you being evenmore Steampunk that thou?

I am quite serious. All the best steam stuff occurred during the reign of Queen Vicky, and she only ruled til 1901!

Why have I not been told of this?  Queen Victoria gave up her rule?  Tesla fixed her health, she is still alive.  She must be Queen! 

Oh she still rules, 1901 is just when she stopped ruling... publicly. It's not very good PR if your beloved Queen has tubes coming out of every orifice and is always accompanied by those noisy bellows.

Incidentally, Albert's in the same situation.

[Sylum Verinta]

HA HA! So this is no longer a problem. After scrounging around, (and actually asking if i can have some of the items from the pictures) I've obtained about 20 ft of copper tubing, one of those grounding rods, another 20 ft of copper cord, and various other pieces that I can use for some clusterF of a contraption.

I'm gonna do something to my bass guitar that I'm eaither going to regret or is gonna be purely made of badassery.

[D.Oakes]

HA HA! So this is no longer a problem. After scrounging around, (and actually asking if i can have some of the items from the pictures) I've obtained about 20 ft of copper tubing, one of those grounding rods, another 20 ft of copper cord, and various other pieces that I can use for some clusterF of a contraption.

I'm gonna do something to my bass guitar that I'm eaither going to regret or is gonna be purely made of badassery.

**** YEAH!!!!   

[Mercury Wells]

-The mental block that keeps you from being able to process any even that occurred before January first 1800.

Surely you mean 1900?  Or are you being evenmore Steampunk that thou?

I am quite serious. All the best steam stuff occurred during the reign of Queen Vicky, and she only ruled til 1901!

Why have I not been told of this?  Queen Victoria gave up her rule?  Tesla fixed her health, she is still alive.  She must be Queen!  

Oh she still rules, 1901 is just when she stopped ruling... publicly. It's not very good PR if your beloved Queen has tubes coming out of every orifice and is always accompanied by those noisy bellows.

Incidentally, Albert's in the same situation.

Must be a bit a problem when sitting around the Christmas dinner table at Sandringham and while watching the Queen's speech  

[barb dwyer]

Getting the sleeve buttons of one's jacket
entangled in one's lase/net stockings
while zipping one's boots.

Because one thinks one is cool
and can still zip one's boots while standing
like one did
a few decades ago ...

And having no one around to un tangle one
whilst one attempts to dis-egage one's elbow
from one's knee....

while hop-walking to the couch to sit down
and ponder the entire thing out.

er.

Not that that's happened to ME...

I just heard about it.
 

[D.Oakes]

Getting dark looks from the salesperson at a Halloween store because although you buy quite a bit (I find so many useful bits at Halloween shops) anything to accessorize what you bought you turn down with the reply of, "Oh, well I already can do that myself.  I'm just buying the stuff I can't make."

[Fairley B. Strange]

Getting the sleeve buttons of one's jacket
entangled in one's lase/net stockings
while zipping one's boots.

Because one thinks one is cool
and can still zip one's boots while standing
like one did
a few decades ago ...

And having no one around to un tangle one
whilst one attempts to dis-egage one's elbow
from one's knee....

while hop-walking to the couch to sit down
and ponder the entire thing out.

er.

Not that that's happened to ME...

I just heard about it.
 

Problems [male] steampunks have: being unable to read this tragic tale of a damsel in clothing distress without having a burlesque soundtrack playing in our heads...  

[Lady Ava]

Not so much a problem as a blessing:
When you can't do something, one check on the forum and you can find 90 people who will happily do it for you, in an exchange for something they themselves can't!

[The Corsair]

Not so much a problem as a blessing:
When you can't do something, one check on the forum and you can find 90 people who will happily do it for you, in an exchange for something they themselves can't!

If only I had something more valuable than bad puns and self-promotion to trade with...