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Dr. Babinski, Ds.D
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« on: April 11, 2008, 08:42:14 pm » |
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To my learned colleauges,
I often see the Air Kraaken mentioned. I submit that there is, in fact, no such creature.
If there was, I would require answers to the following:
What is the phylogenetic taxonomy of the creature? i.e. Latin Name.
Why has no address been given to the Royal Society by it's discoverer, and who might this be, BTB?
Size notwithstanding, why have no specimens been brought forward preserved in spirits of wine, for proper dissection?
Why, unlike the far more credible Loch Ness Monster, do no daguerrotypes exist of the creature?
Until such time as answers are forthcoming, I myself remain a skeptic.
Respectfully submitted,
Babinski, Ds,D. doctor scientia, dementis
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It's good to stand behind your work.
I've found that sometimes, it's even better to stand behind a brick wall, about a block away from your work.
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 08:49:29 pm » |
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Air krakens exist in a dimension or alternate plane of existance that laps over into this one, but not vice versa, so all attempts to catch them or any that die here fade out of this plane or disintigrate because of the atmospheric differences here and thier biological make-up not being suited to this air. That good enough?  |
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
 United Kingdom
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« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2008, 09:06:29 pm » |
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The air-krakens don't fit exactly into our taxonomic system, but there are daguerrotypes and accounts from survivors. Considering the exidence, i submit the following classification: Animalia, Mollusca, Cephalopoda, (at this point, the taxonomic system breaks down into quaking illiterate shards.) As i'm sure you're aware, there are many species of air-kraken, including the Greater Northern-Atlantic Vitriol, the Continental Spotted Air-Kraken and the adorable but frankly dangerous Spined Mongler. I have collected specimens from as many species of air-krakens as i have been able to find. The less-charred ones have been sent to the Royal Society. I have given them the family name "Xenoteuthidae". I hope this is proof enough of their existence for you. Spoilered for those without the benefit of broad-banded aethertubes, a picture of an air-kraken attack. |
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« Last Edit: April 11, 2008, 09:16:08 pm by Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth »
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HE WRESTLES BEARS, HE DRINKS HIS ALE, HE LOVES HIS AUTUNITE! ON WEDNESDAYS HE GOES SHOPPING, THIS SONG IS UTTER SHI-
PM me about adding a thread to the OT archive! _|¯¯|_ r[]_[] |
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Luella Dobson
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« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2008, 10:08:36 pm » |
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Rules of improv, etc. and there are daguerreotypes.  |
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I'm a Jazzpunk.  General for the Study and Ultimate Disregard for the Laws of Universe through Strange and Ultimately Unfathomable Means |
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Captain_Minty_Gearhertz
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« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2008, 10:14:16 pm » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
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The music is reversable, but time...is not.
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Dr. Babinski, Ds.D
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« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2008, 10:27:27 pm » |
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So, Cephalopoda Xenoteuthidae?
>>I have collected specimens from as many species of air-krakens as i have been able to find. The less-charred ones have been sent to the Royal Society.
I have given them the family name "Xenoteuthidae". I hope this is proof enough of their existence for you.<<
I take it then, Sir Nikolas, that you are the discoverer? I eagerly await your book or paper. The daguerrotype was very enlightening, although it had something of the cottingley fairies to it.
As for Captain Gearhertz, goggles, my dear captain, goggles! =O-O=
As always, Dr. B
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vermillion
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« Reply #6 on: April 11, 2008, 10:27:45 pm » |
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no such creature!!??
please tell that to my poor airship, Orfiel.... I've had to had numerous repairs done due to the large holes, and broken masts, and sails of said non-existant krakens! tell that to a few of my crew who have moved on or will never sail again due to kraken attacks...I can still hear tehir screams the poor dears....
though... the clouds and rain hide them all very well as well.....I can see why there are non-believers.
good sir, if you havent already, my fellow sky-pirates and airship captains have their own kraken-esque stories, that I'm skin crawl, please ask them of their adventures as to ready yourself for your own studies. [as they say.. one person is not a witness.]
but on a lighter note please do study thema s much as you can, and share any information you can get.. we're always looking for different ways to either fight, or avoid, of fend off krakens.
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
United Kingdom
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2008, 10:42:52 pm » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
I think he finally managed to spam it to death... Doktor Babinski, I am by no means the discoverer. Indeed, the myth of the air-kraken has been around since before powered flight. It's only recently, with advances in light-capturing technology and weaponry that airship crews have started surviving long enough to procure pictures. |
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« Last Edit: April 11, 2008, 10:44:49 pm by Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth »
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Captain_Minty_Gearhertz
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« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2008, 10:45:43 pm » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
I think he finally managed to spam it to death... Oh, quite the barb there... One should only undertake the study of air kraken when the specimin is enclosed in an airtight camber, or so I have been told. I just shoot the blighters out of the sky myself... |
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Kuma
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2008, 10:47:16 pm » |
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dude, i totally saw one once
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
United Kingdom
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« Reply #10 on: April 11, 2008, 10:47:51 pm » |
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Indeed. An airtight chamber at the bottom of the ocean, while you're swiftly fleeing onboard a very fast airship.
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Captain_Minty_Gearhertz
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« Reply #11 on: April 11, 2008, 10:50:55 pm » |
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And dropping large quantaties of any explosives one has at hand...
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
United Kingdom
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« Reply #12 on: April 11, 2008, 10:52:46 pm » |
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Whilst charging the tesla cannon...
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Atterton
Master Tinkerer
Only The Shadow knows
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« Reply #13 on: April 11, 2008, 10:53:36 pm » |
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The best evidence is so-called pwdre ser as the welsh call it. People who see things falling from the sky, and when they go to investigate instead of meteors they find blobs of jelly. This is obviously the deflated flesh of air krakens falling to the ground.
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In space, no one can hear you steam.
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
United Kingdom
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« Reply #14 on: April 11, 2008, 10:55:50 pm » |
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Ah yes, the rot from the sky, we're eminently familiar with that here at the ministry of gentlemanly science.
We'd always assumed it to be of Cthuloid origin, but your theory's cast new light on the....matter.
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #15 on: April 11, 2008, 10:56:39 pm » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
I like Air Krakens more than ever now  Just another reason to sacrifice things to them |
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kiskolou
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« Reply #16 on: April 11, 2008, 11:05:22 pm » |
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Why has no address been given to the Royal Society by it's discoverer, and who might this be, BTB?
As the discoverer, i can tell you why. Because I'm an American. I also have dabbled in sky-piracy, and I'm afraid a public appearance could be disastrous. |
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"There will always be a lost world for you here..." - Atterton  Your reality sir, is lies and balderdash and i am delighted to say i have no grasp of it whatsoever! |
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Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
Captain Spice
Immortal
United Kingdom
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« Reply #17 on: April 11, 2008, 11:06:45 pm » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
I like Air Krakens more than ever now Just another reason to sacrifice things to them Aren't you confusing them with Cthulhu? |
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Angel
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« Reply #18 on: April 11, 2008, 11:13:04 pm » |
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A wizard did it.
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"With a rifle, you can kill one man; but with a machine gun, you can make a whole army keep its head down." - Jeremy Clarkson Buns are obviously not designed for their aerodynamic properties. |
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Jemima Annabelle Clough
Rogue Ætherlord
United Kingdom
When you're tired of tea, you're tired of life
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« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2008, 11:28:35 pm » |
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Dear sir,
You are more than welcome to study what material the RS has on the air kraken. I have no doubt you will be able to provide the required letters of introduction and character references; remembering that there must be three of each from existing members, the remainder may be from scientists &c of good repute.
Yours &c,
Jemima Annabelle Clough
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Remember: Stressed backwards spells desserts
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Fellow of the RS
Botanist and sometime adventurer
Wife of A E Clough
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Flame throwing priestess of the really hot fire
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HAC
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« Reply #20 on: April 12, 2008, 12:29:01 am » |
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no Daguerrotypes, you say? pshaw and piffle...  Cheers Harold |
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You never know what lonesome is , 'til you get to herdin' cows.
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CapnHarlock
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« Reply #21 on: April 12, 2008, 01:42:01 am » |
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No daguerrotypes? Nonsense, old chap ..... The young ones are rather cute, and no more dangerous to keep as domestic pets than the usual King cobras, Bengal tigers or wolverines.... H.M. government DOES require proper labelling on all krakenaria, and vehicles used to transport them, for Public Safety.   |
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Jeremiah Cornelius Harlock
At Your Service
"It's so hard to know if you're bound for a fall,
But better to have tripped than never danced at all."
"Dancing Under The Rose" - The Albion Band.
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H. MacHinery
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« Reply #22 on: April 12, 2008, 02:57:41 am » |
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Of course they exist - they are as real as the sky-whales, or the cloud sharks, or the giant atmospheric man-o-war.
They are rare, naturally, and cunning, making good use of the natural cover they have, but they are quite real.
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2008, 03:09:53 am » |
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Study them... STUDY THEM! Are you insane, good Doctor? Why one touch of their flesh would drive a man insane. their blood is poisen and the mere sight can send one into a state of hysteria that last days! Why Doctor Trakov had one clinging to his cranium for several days, to nearly fatal ends!
I like Air Krakens more than ever now Just another reason to sacrifice things to them Aren't you confusing them with Cthulhu? *shakes head* When it comes to Cthulhu the dark winged ones do the sacrificing for you in archaic rituals, but with air krakens you send up meat and goats tied to small hot air balloons as sacrifices on air kraken day, to feed them and stop them from decending upon small towns and eating the inhabitants |
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polyphemus
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« Reply #24 on: April 12, 2008, 05:41:11 am » |
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No daguerrotypes indeed!  |
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Polphemus Pomfret
"Don't be silly. He wouldn't write,"Aaarrgghhh!"
"Perhaps he was dictating."
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