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Author Topic: Steampunk Thesis- help?  (Read 2185 times)
Arenyth
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« on: March 18, 2007, 10:36:13 pm »

Hi everyone- (not sure if I'm posting this in the right place...)

I just wrote out this giant post, and then my browser crashed for no reason. So this one won't be as eloquent. I'm a computer animation student, and I'm going into my final year, where I have to make a 1-2 min short telling a story. I'm pushing to get my steampunk ideas passed, since they're so underrepresented and its such a beautiful visual. One has passed (a skyfisherman and little metal fish) but I'm hoping to make this next one work as well. So, I'm bringing it to you, the steampunk community. I'm hoping you'll give me some fresh insight on it. It's more clockpunk, but close enough. So, here it is:


From above, we see a town, working like clock work. A clock tower in the middle of it all is the heart of the city, what makes it tick. Something goes very wrong and the tower breaks, causing the whole town to come to a halt, dead and silent   
A girl wanders in to the town, unaware of where she is, and looks confused while finding her way through the ghost town. She sees the clock tower, and her heart seems to skip a beat, and she is drawn to it. She goes into the tower, climbing the stairs to the top. She finds a study, full of old books, drawn plans of what makes it all work. There's a clockwork bird on the window, but it doesn't seem to work anymore. She touches the gears, and they seem to come to life, lights turn on and the tower creaks with anticipation. Her heart is beating louder, thumping through her chest, it's almost euphoric. She gets scared and pulls back, only to notice everything fade into monotony. She caresses the machinery with both hands, and her heart immediately jumps again, pushing her chest plate out and onto the floor, showing her heart, beating madly. She touches her heart, and touches the machine in the place that it is missing pieces, and realizes it is a perfect fit for her heart. She curls away from the machine, in shock and sadness, and runs to the window. She looks out at the city, once full of life it is cold and dull. She looks back at the machine, and down at her heart. In a painful tear she rips it from her chest, and hooks it to the machine with what little energy she has left. The clock tower bursts into life, sending color and light throughout the city. The girl falls into a heap of lifeless metal on the floor, and her heart above her beats away, and in the pan out to black we see the other bodies that have given their life for the tower and the ticking city.


Right now its the heart that makes everything work, but in my original idea the entire girl became part of the machine. Just some ideas to keep in mind in case you happen to like that better. Thank you guys so much, any ideas you have would help me so much.

For some of the concept art: http://www.arenyth.deviantart.com (shameless plug)
« Last Edit: March 18, 2007, 10:40:34 pm by Arenyth » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2007, 03:36:36 am »

I like it. It works very nicely as you outline it. I prefer her giving her heart to repower the town as it introduces the element of sacrifice which gives it a bitter sweet edge.

A skyfisherman? Reminded me of this (we never did find out more about it either).

You concept work is all very good (I was especially struck by the flying carp) and I look forward to seeing the end result (youa re going to post it on somewhere lik YouTube so we can all see it I hope). So fingers crossed they accept the second idea too. I can't see any reason why not but I don't know their criteria Wink
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Arenyth
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« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2007, 05:35:20 am »

Hello Emperor, thanks for taking the time to read it! The final fish design for the other story is the golden one, but the colors in the actual piece weren't what I wanted. He is depressed, and hates his life, and so all he catches are little rusted and broken fish. The golden fish takes him on a wild chase through the clouds to help him discover that it was always about the chase, not necessarily the catch. When I was doing research for the story I did come across those crazy spirit fish things. They're known as rods to most people, so they're more in the realm of alien conspiracy rather than actual fishing, the japanese just have their own name for it I guess.
The school criteria is very rigid, in that it has to be a linear storyline, with a conflict that the character must overcome, and learn something from at the end. It's actually really hard to make work in one minute. But I managed to pull it off the last time, so fingers crossed. It'll be may before I know that it's passed though, but I'll keep you up to date.
And of course I'll post the final animation on youtube, I want to spread steampunk like the plague! And hopefully entertain all of you.
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OHebel Wring
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« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2007, 11:12:37 am »

I also really like the idea.  I went through the concept work that you have done and look forwards to seeing your final result.  One minute though?  That's rough.  When I was studying film, we were limited to no more than 2 or 3 minutes, and even that was sometimes difficult...  Good luck!



(I am not really sure if this is the section this should be posted in either, as Textual deals more with the written arts rather than visual, but seeing as we are focusing on your story, I think it fits)

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« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2007, 04:59:34 pm »

It might be more at home in the audiovisual forum so when the finished animation goes live this thread can continue seamlessly.

And of course I'll post the final animation on youtube, I want to spread steampunk like the plague! And hopefully entertain all of you.

I salute your zeal, echo Mr Wring's sentiments about getting it down to 1 minute (I am not known for my brevity and such strictures would leave me require bedrest) and I look forward to the end result.
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Adml. Etherington
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« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2007, 06:53:45 pm »

Thats quite beautiful and poignant. I anxiously await the final project.

I must agree that the heart powering the mechanism is much more intense than the entire girl, and I really like the extra touch of the pan out at the end showing other bodies.
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