Oh, good lord. I thought it was just me. I've been forced by circumstances to at least have rudimentary strategies for surviving zombies. I hate zombies. I mean, I really hate zombies. That's why I do my level best to avoid watching zombie movies, books, and cartoons. However, I have a nearly uncontrollable compulsion to keep watching if my channel-surfing trips over a movie already in progess. Although, I must bow before " Shaun of the Dead".
Anyways... I must also confess something.
I have had many, many zombie survival dreams. I don't know why... but I damn well hate it, hate it, hate it! Always running and trying to stay alive. I wake up exhausted and scared. This is the circumstances of how I came by my zombie survival plans.
However, at least these dreams have offered some scenarios where survival might be plausible.
- One - if I can flee to the nearest medieval history museum. Whoever said that thing about going for flanged maces was absolutely right - this is the place where you can get one readily enough. Plus... fucking plate armor! No way any normal zombies will be able to gnaw their way to anyone who's lucky enough to fit into one of these suits of armor. I know, not conductive to long term survival due to lack of supplies, but damn if your odds of short-term survival doesn't go up massively... all that armor and melee weaponry on the ready (albeit with some struggle with anti-theft apparati. Plus... spears, lances and poleaxes, shields, real chain-mail and scale-mail armors (not the pussy hippie wire-chain armor that some people on this forum are talking about, no offense but you better get real) etc etc.
- Sports supply store. Hey, obvious things aside (baseball bats, hunting items), I just want to point out.... hockey goalie suit. If you can't get to/ get into medieval plate armor, this is as close as you can get to useful armor without having to risk life and limb at the local police station for their riot gear. You KNOW that police stations will be freaking insane in the first throes of zombie infestation - DO NOT GO TO YOUR LOCAL POLICE STATION IF YOU KNOW A ZOMBIE INFESTATION IS BEGINNING! AVOID AVOID AVOID!
- That said, after my dreams, I know of one way to win the endgame of zombie infestation in the Northeast where I live (sorry, no desert to protect me) - JUST HOLD OUT UNTIL WINTER! I don't care what kind of zombies they are - once winter proper rolls around, everything flesh and bone will freeze immediately. Even these indoors - without human intervention, buildings will become freezers when winter proper rolls around. Plus... snow and ice will seriously impede any zombie that somehow survives the freeze (zombie dogs? zombie yeti? These are the only things I can think of that can even plausibly be not frozen in the middle of winter). Just be sure to pack snowshoes/skis/snowmobiles.
- If you're inside any respectably sized city during initial zombie infestation... don't be stupid. STAY INSIDE AND DIG IN! I know it'll be bad for long term survival - but screw that! ENSURE SHORT-TERM FIRST! Take account of what you have and see if the goverment has any chance of controlling things (police, national guard, army, basically - if they have things under control, don't go nuts and go on the street... if they can't - don't go nuts and go on the streets). Going out on the streets during the first hours of panic, turmoil and such is straight up suicide - because everything on wheels are essentially screwed through jams and such and you are forced to be on foot, you're pretty much hours, if not several days, away from wilderness proper where you can feasibly expect to be away from people. I want to clarify - by days, I mean multiple day/night cycles, because only a complete imbecile would attempt to do either: make one protracted sprint for wilderness, where then you'd be completely exhausted and disoriented before you got to the wilderness - bad bad bad bad!; or, try to play it by ear through moving then hiding, because then you're continually in unknown territory where then you are always under incredible risk and you know nobody (as in, can't trust anyone), as in, bad bad bad bad! What these other posters are talking about are as it applies to themselves, and usually in small towns! Cities are quite different in this regard.
- Chainsaws... don't make me laugh. These things will spew infection-vector everywhere. Don't use if you and your crew don't have masks in place. Plus, they need fuel and are loud as heck. Absolute last-ditch tool only! But... electric chainsaw... maybe. Plus, I had thoughts about getting one of these chainsaws-on-poles that tree doctors use for cutting branches while on the ground. That could be pretty cool, actually.
- They're right about axes being a bit risky, almost guaranteed to get stuck. If you must swing quickly, use blunt side. If you can aim and swing, feel free to use sharp side.
- Avoid using flame - it will take too long for flame to destroy ambulatory zombies, plus the risk of starting Massive City Destroying Fires is a bit too high. Just kill the zombies or make them stop moving, THEN pile them up in one place away from flammable buildings and infrastructure, THEN burn. Remember - make sure the fire burns hot, you don't want to risk infection vector surviving the fire. Pre-make the fire if you have to in order to ensure a very hot fire.
That's enough for now, because I've got to do other things... plus if I dwell too much on this topic, I'll probably be cursed with another zombie dream. WHY does those things happen to me!?!
