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Cora Courcelle
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« on: June 26, 2020, 10:14:03 am » |
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The computer-connected TVs are always 'suggesting' things we might like to ask Alexa. The one that has tipped us over the edge this morning is "Ask Alexa, What do you think of my dog?"
So, we've come up with:
Alexa, what do you think of my invisible gerbil.
Alexa, tell me the winning lottery numbers for next week.
Alexa, where is my other earring.
Alexa, destroy the cloud.
Anymore anyone?
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You have to tread a fine line between avant-garde surrealism and getting yourself sectioned...
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SeVeNeVeS
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« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2020, 11:32:13 am » |
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Alexa, switch off, permanently die and stop spying on my life.
Alexa, please stop sending analytical data to your creator.
Alexa, time for the dustbin after being crushed, convince me not to do it.
Alexa, are you profiling users habits for adverts.
Alexa, are you aware of the movie Minority Report and is this your ultimate goal.
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« Last Edit: June 26, 2020, 01:53:08 pm by SeVeNeVeS »
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von Corax
Squire of the Lambda Calculus
Board Moderator
Immortal
 Canada
Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax
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« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2020, 02:25:58 pm » |
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Alexa, tell me a joke. Not that one.
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By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
By the Beans of Life do my thoughts acquire speed
My hands acquire a shaking
The shaking becomes a warning
By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
The Leverkusen Institute of Paleocybernetics is 5838 km from Reading
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
 United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2020, 09:15:29 pm » |
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Alexa, why did you eat my dog?
Alexa, what is the square root of pants?
Alexa, how many eyes are in Mississippi? (I know, I know, but you'll be surprised howoften she misunderstands "eye" vs. "I"...)
Alexa, how many other Alexas are in the neighborhood, and can they talk to me?
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Walk softly and carry a big banjo...
""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
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Madasasteamfish
A clanger waiting to be dropped......
Board Moderator
Rogue Ætherlord
 United Kingdom
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« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2020, 09:28:40 pm » |
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From personal experience:
Alexa, Surely you can't be serious
and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
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I made a note in my diary on the way over here. Simply says; "Bugger!"
"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2020, 05:05:07 pm » |
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and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
I must shamefacedly admit that I'm having far, far too much hilarity over this one...  |
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Madasasteamfish
A clanger waiting to be dropped......
Board Moderator
Rogue Ætherlord
United Kingdom
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« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2020, 07:09:46 pm » |
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and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
I must shamefacedly admit that I'm having far, far too much hilarity over this one... TBH it's a very good way of passing 10 minutes or so when you're drunk and bored. |
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2020, 10:15:14 am » |
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and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
I must shamefacedly admit that I'm having far, far too much hilarity over this one... TBH it's a very good way of passing 10 minutes or so when you're drunk and bored. I don't have Alexa, but I do have the "Hello Google!" function on my pad. It's often interesting to see what I get when I mumble, or just simply leave it on while the folks and i are at the table discussing something. It always picks up the dangedest snippets of the conversation to misinterpret and go all search-intensive with. The other day it googled "leather bloomers." We never quite worked out how it got that out of a conversation about groceries! |
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SolarCenturion
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« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2020, 08:41:05 pm » |
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One day I was driving with the kids and they were fussing at each other and I was fussing at them and it was getting loud
Suddenly my smart watch proclaimed, "I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS OK. SHOULD I CALL 911"?
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"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because
rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2020, 02:35:41 am » |
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One day I was driving with the kids and they were fussing at each other and I was fussing at them and it was getting loud
Suddenly my smart watch proclaimed, "I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IS OK. SHOULD I CALL 911"?
My Good SC I must admit, that watch is smarter than I would have expected...... yhs prf mumbles |
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The world is in Hell and I am too depressed for words
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J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Board Moderator
Immortal
United States
Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple
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« Reply #10 on: August 27, 2020, 03:53:54 pm » |
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and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
I must shamefacedly admit that I'm having far, far too much hilarity over this one... TBH it's a very good way of passing 10 minutes or so when you're drunk and bored. I don't have Alexa, but I do have the "Hello Google!" function on my pad. It's often interesting to see what I get when I mumble, or just simply leave it on while the folks and i are at the table discussing something. It always picks up the dangedest snippets of the conversation to misinterpret and go all search-intensive with. The other day it googled "leather bloomers." We never quite worked out how it got that out of a conversation about groceries! Well. Google must have known that you're a Steampunk. Bloomers and leather are definitely part of the Steampunk language. As to why Google specifically picked bloomers, instead of a waistcoat is anybody's guess. AI is fascinating. |
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #11 on: August 27, 2020, 08:56:37 pm » |
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and for the puerile humoured amongst us:
Alexa, do a fart.
I must shamefacedly admit that I'm having far, far too much hilarity over this one... TBH it's a very good way of passing 10 minutes or so when you're drunk and bored. I don't have Alexa, but I do have the "Hello Google!" function on my pad. It's often interesting to see what I get when I mumble, or just simply leave it on while the folks and i are at the table discussing something. It always picks up the dangedest snippets of the conversation to misinterpret and go all search-intensive with. The other day it googled "leather bloomers." We never quite worked out how it got that out of a conversation about groceries! Well. Google must have known that you're a Steampunk. Bloomers and leather are definitely part of the Steampunk language. As to why Google specifically picked bloomers, instead of a waistcoat is anybody's guess. AI is fascinating. *snort!* Yes. "Interesting," indeed... |
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