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Sir Henry
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« Reply #25 on: December 31, 2019, 09:12:51 pm » |
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Fruitcake - marvelous. Nuts in fruitcake - oh dear. Marzipan on fruitcake - oh dear, now we'll have to peel it. Marzipan and Royal icing on fruitcake - oh dear oh dear, that'll still be there come New Year... Brandy on fruitcake - whoops, sorry, did I knock your elbow as you were pouring? Whisky on fruitcake - never even got close to the cake, there was a glass in the way...
My son is planning on experimenting with fruitcake recipes in order to maximise the fruit content and minimise the cake content. He's currently thinking that cornmeal might be the best thing to hold it all together with. I'm not so sure but am looking forward to the journey to discover what makes the perfect FRUITcake.
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I speak in syllabubbles. They rise to the surface by the force of levity and pop out of my mouth unneeded and unheeded.
Cry "Have at!" and let's lick the togs of Waugh!
Arsed not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for tea.
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Banfili
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« Reply #26 on: December 31, 2019, 11:54:23 pm » |
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Fruitcake - marvelous. Nuts in fruitcake - oh dear. Marzipan on fruitcake - oh dear, now we'll have to peel it. Marzipan and Royal icing on fruitcake - oh dear oh dear, that'll still be there come New Year... Brandy on fruitcake - whoops, sorry, did I knock your elbow as you were pouring? Whisky on fruitcake - never even got close to the cake, there was a glass in the way...
My son is planning on experimenting with fruitcake recipes in order to maximise the fruit content and minimise the cake content. He's currently thinking that cornmeal might be the best thing to hold it all together with. I'm not so sure but am looking forward to the journey to discover what makes the perfect FRUITcake.
There does need to be cake - I do like a reasonable amount of cake holding in my fruit! I had some for supper last night, while switching the telly between the cricket and watching the country burn! |
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Mercury Wells
Rogue Ætherlord
I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)
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« Reply #27 on: December 31, 2019, 11:59:53 pm » |
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Fruitcake - marvelous. Nuts in fruitcake - oh dear. Marzipan on fruitcake - oh dear, now we'll have to peel it. Marzipan and Royal icing on fruitcake - oh dear oh dear, that'll still be there come New Year... Brandy on fruitcake - whoops, sorry, did I knock your elbow as you were pouring? Whisky on fruitcake - never even got close to the cake, there was a glass in the way...
My son is planning on experimenting with fruitcake recipes in order to maximise the fruit content and minimise the cake content. He's currently thinking that cornmeal might be the best thing to hold it all together with. I'm not so sure but am looking forward to the journey to discover what makes the perfect FRUITcake.
There does need to be cake - I do like a reasonable amount of cake holding in my fruit! I had some for supper last night, while switching the telly between the cricket and watching the country burn! With a nice bit of cheese on top aswell? |
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Oh...my old war wound? I got that at The Battle of Dorking. Very nasty affair that was, I can tell you. The Ministry of Tea respectfully advises you to drink one cup of tea day...for that +5 Moral Fibre stat. |
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Hurricane Annie
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« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2020, 02:57:03 am » |
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Whatever type, as long as there is cake, and fruit! Seasoned/steeped in huge amounts of booze aswell?  Absolutely!! Although the alcohol has mostly gone by the time you eat it! Dammit, I want some now, and I haven't got any! Janurary is the best time to start to make one & every fortnight inject a couple of oz of good booze, right up til Xmas day (heck you could possibly use small chunks of it as fire lighters). I just had to go out in the heat and smoke and walk across to the IGA and buy a fruit cake, dammit! Hope you are safe from the infernos Banfili. We have your smoke drifting accross here. I usually wait until the pist Xmas sales to stock up on cheap fruit cake to have out of season. This year the local supermarket appears yo have sold out. I will have to search on the local equivalent of the IGA. The 4 Square. There may be a few tucked away. |
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Banfili
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« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2020, 04:41:47 am » |
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Whatever type, as long as there is cake, and fruit! Seasoned/steeped in huge amounts of booze aswell? Absolutely!! Although the alcohol has mostly gone by the time you eat it! Dammit, I want some now, and I haven't got any! Janurary is the best time to start to make one & every fortnight inject a couple of oz of good booze, right up til Xmas day (heck you could possibly use small chunks of it as fire lighters). I just had to go out in the heat and smoke and walk across to the IGA and buy a fruit cake, dammit! Hope you are safe from the infernos Banfili. We have your smoke drifting accross here. I usually wait until the pist Xmas sales to stock up on cheap fruit cake to have out of season. This year the local supermarket appears yo have sold out. I will have to search on the local equivalent of the IGA. The 4 Square. There may be a few tucked away. At the moment, quite safe - but, I was out visiting this morning and just had to go to the IGA for fruitcake - a dark one, this time! |
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Hurricane Annie
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« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2020, 04:34:04 am » |
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Whatever type, as long as there is cake, and fruit! Seasoned/steeped in huge amounts of booze aswell? Absolutely!! Although the alcohol has mostly gone by the time you eat it! Dammit, I want some now, and I haven't got any! Janurary is the best time to start to make one & every fortnight inject a couple of oz of good booze, right up til Xmas day (heck you could possibly use small chunks of it as fire lighters). I just had to go out in the heat and smoke and walk across to the IGA and buy a fruit cake, dammit! Hope you are safe from the infernos Banfili. We have your smoke drifting accross here. I usually wait until the pist Xmas sales to stock up on cheap fruit cake to have out of season. This year the local supermarket appears yo have sold out. I will have to search on the local equivalent of the IGA. The 4 Square. There may be a few tucked away. At the moment, quite safe - but, I was out visiting this morning and just had to go to the IGA for fruitcake - a dark one, this time! You rub it in. There's just a few dodgy mince tars left on the shelves in these parts and a few over priced underwhelming looking Christmas type packet treats |
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #31 on: January 17, 2020, 05:05:01 am » |
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In the past, I always bought a small "properly made" fruitcake to enjoy during the season... by that I mean - real fruit! not bits of artificail fruit. - sugar NOT cornsyrup- proper cake ( as mentioned by Sir Henry) ...... I usually wait until the pist Xmas sales to stock up
But one must take care, those "pist Xmas Sales" can be dangerous! My Dear Annie- no offense , sometimes a minor mispelling can be sooooo funny! yhs prof marvel |
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Your Humble Servant
~~~~~Professor Algernon Horatio Ubiquitous Marvel The First~~~~~~
President, CEO, Chairman, and Chief Bottle Washer of
Professor Marvel's Traveling Apothecary and Fortune Telling Emporium
Acclaimed By The Crowned Heads of Europe
Purveyor of Patent Remedies, Snake Oil, Cleaning Supplies, Dry Goods, and Picture Postcards
Offering Unwanted Advice for All Occasions and Providing Useless Items to the Gentry
Since 1822
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Hurricane Annie
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« Reply #32 on: January 18, 2020, 05:00:27 am » |
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In the past, I always bought a small "properly made" fruitcake to enjoy during the season... by that I mean - real fruit! not bits of artificail fruit. - sugar NOT cornsyrup- proper cake ( as mentioned by Sir Henry) ...... I usually wait until the pist Xmas sales to stock up
But one must take care, those "pist Xmas Sales" can be dangerous! My Dear Annie- no offense , sometimes a minor mispelling can be sooooo funny! yhs prof marvel The only thing that upsets me about your comment - is that I endured a sober Christmas this year ; { [ I did try to correct the offending word, auto correct persists in changing it back in its own Freudian way] |
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #33 on: January 18, 2020, 06:10:36 am » |
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Interesting... in my neck of the woods, pissed or pist generally means “angry” ..
Thus an “angry xmas sale “ brings strange thoughts...
Yhs
Prf Mrvl
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Deimos
Officer
 United States
aka Countess Millicent Addlewood
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« Reply #34 on: January 18, 2020, 06:36:02 am » |
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Clowns eat Fruitcake.
Clowns are Evil.
Ergo, Fruitcake is Evil. Q.E.D.
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« Last Edit: January 18, 2020, 06:38:00 am by Deimos »
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Here is a test to find out if your mission in life is complete:
If you're alive, it isn't. -- Lauren Bacall
"Only the paranoid survive."
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Hurricane Annie
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« Reply #35 on: January 18, 2020, 10:48:58 am » |
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Interesting... in my neck of the woods, pissed or pist generally means “angry” ..
Thus an “angry xmas sale “ brings strange thoughts...
Yhs
Prf Mrvl
That particular definition might be closer to the truth in this case. Which is why I remained sober; to maintain a sense of decorum and self restraint.. I received house guests who had invited themselves to stay over Christmas and looked to be hunkering down to move in. They had rented their house out for the duration and thought I would be a place of refuge for an extended period. I ended up evicting them after 10 day. They railed at me and accused me of making them and their child homeless . It was all very theatrical and dickensian . It was all rather tawdry. The expression in question has various meaning here in the Antipodes. Excessive rain, temper or imbibing. |
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #36 on: January 18, 2020, 11:19:17 am » |
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That particular definition might be closer to the truth in this case. Which is why I remained sober; to maintain a sense of decorum and self restraint.. I received house guests who had invited themselves
to stay over Christmas and looked to be hunkering down to move in. They had rented their house out for the duration and thought I would be a place of refuge for an extended period. I ended up evicting them after 10 day. They railed at me and accused me of making them and their child homeless . It was all very theatrical and dickensian . It was all rather tawdry.
That is incredible! and rude. and absurd. and .... I am at a loss for words. I am not sure I would have let them in. If I had let them in I know they would not have stayed 10 days. I can see the conversation now: I have called the "homeless shelters" - they are waiting for you. Here is a map. If you don't like that, here is the number for Motel 6 - $29 per night Bye Let's nominate you for Junior Assistance Sainthood! yhs prof ( losiing his good karma points by the minute) marvel |
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Banfili
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« Reply #37 on: January 18, 2020, 12:50:30 pm » |
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That particular definition might be closer to the truth in this case. Which is why I remained sober; to maintain a sense of decorum and self restraint.. I received house guests who had invited themselves
to stay over Christmas and looked to be hunkering down to move in. They had rented their house out for the duration and thought I would be a place of refuge for an extended period. I ended up evicting them after 10 day. They railed at me and accused me of making them and their child homeless . It was all very theatrical and dickensian . It was all rather tawdry.
That is incredible! and rude. and absurd. and .... I am at a loss for words. I am not sure I would have let them in. If I had let them in I know they would not have stayed 10 days. I can see the conversation now: I have called the "homeless shelters" - they are waiting for you. Here is a map. If you don't like that, here is the number for Motel 6 - $29 per night Bye Let's nominate you for Junior Assistance Sainthood! yhs prof ( losiing his good karma points by the minute) marvel How rude of your uninvited guests, Hurricane - totally unforgivable! I agree with Prof. Marvel wholeheartedly! Damn, I have run out of fruitcake! |
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Synistor 303
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« Reply #38 on: January 19, 2020, 01:55:59 am » |
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Never allow a guest to stay until you have a confirmed exit date... Or you could go with a saying we used on the farm - 'The definition of a visitor is "free labour"'. I believe the Chinese also have a saying about guests in your house - 'For two days treat them like a king. On the third day, give them a hoe'. (I am assuming it is the 'work-in-the-field' kind of hoe, NOT the other kind.) |
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Deimos
Officer
United States
aka Countess Millicent Addlewood
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« Reply #39 on: January 19, 2020, 03:23:59 am » |
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..I received house guests who had invited themselves to stay over Christmas and looked to be hunkering down to move in. They had rented their house out for the duration and thought I would be a place of refuge for an extended period. I ended up evicting them after 10 day. They railed at me and accused me of making them and their child homeless . It was all very theatrical and dickensian . It was all rather tawdry. ... Unbelievable....and yet, very believable. Benjamim Franklin put it quite bluntly (which is pretty funny since he was ambassador to France, ambassadors having to be tactful and circumspect in their speech): Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days. Whenever I visit friends, or even family, for more than 3 days, I take my cue from old Ben and arrange in advance to stay in a hotel for the remaining days. Oh, the protestations! ..."No, no, you must stay with us the entire time! You are our guest! We want you to feel welcome!" My reply: "Yep, and I want you to welcome me, and treat me as your guest next time I visit...which you probably won't do if I park myself in your home (even if invited to so) for the next 2 weeks." |
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Mercury Wells
Rogue Ætherlord
I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)
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« Reply #40 on: January 19, 2020, 04:51:27 am » |
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Re:- Marzipan/Marchepane.
When did it change from a nice yellow to a cheap, nasty, pale, sparkly/glittery magnolia colour.?
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J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Board Moderator
Immortal
United States
Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple
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« Reply #41 on: January 19, 2020, 06:19:49 am » |
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What an interesting thread. Reads so normal, yet there is something unsettling about it. Guests who appoint themselves as tenants (how did that even happen?) Fish in a house without refrigeration for three days!? Where I come from fish will start smelling much sooner than that if left out of the fridge... A cake that lasts forever and can be lit ablaze. That just is not right. Marzipan that changes colours... Evil, indeed.
Perhaps there is mention of this unholy concoction in the Necronomicon by Abdul Al Hazred.
I agree with the concept of never staying with family / acquaintances when visiting.
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #42 on: March 05, 2020, 10:55:31 pm » |
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Fruitcakes make ideal trebuchet ammo. Just saying...
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Walk softly and carry a big banjo...
""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
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J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Board Moderator
Immortal
United States
Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple
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« Reply #43 on: March 09, 2020, 02:36:40 am » |
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Fruitcakes make ideal trebuchet ammo. Just saying...
Foods that last a long time are all the rage now, don't you know? |
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Banfili
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« Reply #44 on: March 09, 2020, 04:42:22 am » |
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Reminds me - I am out of fruitcake - again!
Must go across to the IGA tomorrow & stock up - fruit cake & custard!!
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
United States
"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"
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« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2020, 01:40:54 pm » |
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Fruitcakes make ideal trebuchet ammo. Just saying...
Foods that last a long time are all the rage now, don't you know? It'll last a really llloooonnnggg time on my sideboard... (lol) |
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Poll
