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Author Topic: The Modern Castle Build Movement  (Read 924 times)
Hurricane Annie
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New Zealand New Zealand



« on: March 03, 2019, 08:01:47 am »


Once upon a time, I had a romantic vision. It was a castle by the sea. Tall turrets and high walls. Boats moored by a river moat. Black sand beach... I've held a hankering to build my own castle for an age.

When I have looked on line, there have been a few odd cranks taking a life time to construct their own idealised idea of a castle.  For these brave souls , its appears to be more about the mission than reaching  the vision. Commissioners of castles fall into 2 diverse camps, in their Middle Age. The purists dedicated to construction involving authentic archaic methods, including the use of unpaid labour. Then we have the those who want all the mod cons and latest engineering technologies.  Neither are ever content with construction methods and development. They dont live happily ever after.

Stress dogs the projects, council refusing construction consents, neighbours declaring war and undermining efforts, tradesmen charging aggressivley. Ill health ends their dreams, often its the death of them. Dashed dreams end up auctioned on the real estate block, bought by drug dealers and other dubious businessmen. Then come the raids by the armed police squads while the occupants hide in their panic rooms.  The castle is seized by force for the Crown. It is then left abandoned again, falls into further dereliction and slides down the hlilside.

I went once more into the online breach , to explore the possibilities. There have been more recent contructions. Eccentric millionaires in the US and china have been  building luxry centres  with a castle featuring for events. I unearthed  web sites with completed fortresses large and small;  showing step by step how to reach  the turret point.  Its doesnt cost  King's Ransom to  build a modern castle. Nor does it take  for ever after.

My dream could come true ...

 Satelite of love
http://www.hollowtop.com/cls_html/Building_a_Castle.htm
Romance with a Replicant
https://www.domain.com.au/news/want-a-secure-home-build-a-castle-replica-castles-taking-off-in-the-us-20170518-gw6fk6/
Ancient Castle Builder
https://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/31/us/31castle.html
Oasis in the Desert
https://www.workaway.info/823158427599-en.html
Made in China
https://www.themanual.com/living/scottish-castle-china-news-photos/#/2
Medieval Torture
https://the-augustus.com/2018/11/19/how-to-build-a-medieval-castle/


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Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2019, 03:25:57 pm »

I too have always wanted my own castle, and have done some research into the project, especially for small castles - the files were rescued off my old Windows machine, but haven't as yet been transferred to the Mac. I will have to dig them out and revisit!

I also have an old cartoon somewhere that I used to have stuck up at work - it was from The Idiots Guide to Auto-Cad, I think - I still have that somewhere too - will have to try and find it!

I don't want anything large. Don't want to rattle around like a pea in a pod. But I do want a castle of my own! Grin
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2019, 01:45:45 am »



 Banfili Many castles from 'back in the day', weren't very big or grand by modern  expectations. More fortresses or baronial halls. It was good thinking to save your project files. One day you shall have your castle. I can read the determination between your lines.

 One doesn't need to go. The full  Castle Etz experience. [though it is my  favourite]


 When this Castle Dalhousie  will do just fine

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Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2019, 04:27:34 am »

I could be satisfied with a fortified tower house, but a proper castle would be better! There was one in Galway for sale, with towers and all, and a 5 acre walled garden!! Oh, for the money!!

I'm a qualified archaeologist & historian, with an interest in fortifications - the possibilities are endless - if only the money were, too!
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bicyclebuilder
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Netherlands Netherlands


A.K.A. Scanner Camera Builder


« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2019, 10:56:57 am »

I personally wouldn't go for an existing, monumental castle.
To many rules and regulations to keep in mind.

There is a place where one can buy a modern castle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVavLymhiVI
All you have to do is finish the build.
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The best way to learn is by personal experience.
Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2019, 11:37:47 am »

I personally wouldn't go for an existing, monumental castle.
To many rules and regulations to keep in mind.

There is a place where one can buy a modern castle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVavLymhiVI
All you have to do is finish the build.

 Imagine that in the suburbs! Council housing  perhaps
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2019, 11:41:36 am »

I could be satisfied with a fortified tower house, but a proper castle would be better! There was one in Galway for sale, with towers and all, and a 5 acre walled garden!! Oh, for the money!!

I'm a qualified archaeologist & historian, with an interest in fortifications - the possibilities are endless - if only the money were, too!

 West Coast Irish castle  with walled garden... Priceless.

 With hose qualifications, you would be well placed to  wall the Victorian boundary with fortification.

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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2019, 11:52:08 am »

And does one really need a castle built in the medieval fashion? I can think of many modern structures built on intrepid sites that should qualify as a small castle...

By all accounts, save for the neighbors and being in a suburb, I lived in such a structure in Mexico City. Think of it as "The Brady Bunch Goes Medieval" architecture. The house was built on a hill side so steep that neighbours had to cut down the hill 3 or 4 stories to get their house down to street level, but mine was first in the block, so it was built 4 stories over the street...

We had a two car garage carved into the hill at street level with a rock lined tunnel staircase all the way to the hilltop, and it was rather large about 9 feet wide, I'd say. With a middle level laundry room. The perfect catacombs

The whole master bedroom at the lowest level was cantilevered over the street! Ideal for pouring hot tar over invaders! And at the top of the hill at least 3 half levels wrapped around the hill with the kitchen an living room (1st level), small indoor pool (ideal balneary), and bedrooms at the top with vistas to a small canyon lined with cypress trees.

Google Maps view from street level, 2013

On the neighbouring property, which we bought, we had (from top level to ground), a small sports court (concrete with the back wall being a retention wall for the rest of the hill), a perfect place for jousting matches (even if that's involving bicycles or skateboards instead of horses). With a small forest (about 5 trees in medium size garden). And to finish it all a 3 storey building all the way to the ground level meant as rental property - the perfect citadel, also with plenty of ramparts to launch arrow attacks on invading hordes of orcs.


If that is not a castle, I don't know what is.


I personally wouldn't go for an existing, monumental castle.
To many rules and regulations to keep in mind.

There is a place where one can buy a modern castle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVavLymhiVI
All you have to do is finish the build.

I saw that (posted on it in Geographical Section). The thing is that is hardly a castle. I've seen houses / buildings like that in Mexico City. The conical turret is the only thing that looks like a (Disneyland) castle--too gaudy. I hate that they ruined the location building identical copies multiplied by a thousand, just inches away from each other...

I liked the one with the square turret, but they need to paint the stucco to contrast with the natural stone color (I'm assuming that the stones on the arches / corners and balustrade is limestone. The rest should be concrete).




Apartment building in Colonia Roma, Mexico City
Colloquialy known as "The Witch's House"
« Last Edit: March 04, 2019, 11:10:35 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged

Astalo
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Finland Finland



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« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2019, 09:03:39 pm »

Guédelon is very interesting castle building project from France. https://www.guedelon.fr/en/introduction_75.html

BBC made great tv series from it few years ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrets_of_the_Castle
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2019, 09:52:10 pm »

 J. Wilhelm, the Mexican influence adds flavour  to architecture, of  your childhood homes and castle buildings .  

I recall your childhood home from previous posts, thank you got sharing again. There is something very compelling  about   the design  and look of your citidel with its own forest.  The landscape is rather up and down in N. Z. . Houses are often built on hillsides [then slide down] and sloping sections. They are for the most part,  houses plonked precariously on a slope.






 
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2019, 10:01:21 pm »

Guédelon is very interesting castle building project from France. https://www.guedelon.fr/en/introduction_75.html

BBC made great tv series from it few years ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrets_of_the_Castle

 That has been quite a successful long term  project. It's an intriguing
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2019, 11:04:02 pm »

J. Wilhelm, the Mexican influence adds flavour  to architecture, of  your childhood homes and castle buildings .  

I recall your childhood home from previous posts, thank you got sharing again. There is something very compelling  about   the design  and look of your citidel with its own forest.  The landscape is rather up and down in N. Z. . Houses are often built on hillsides [then slide down] and sloping sections. They are for the most part,  houses plonked precariously on a slope.

*snip*
 

That master bedroom had all glass walls - 1970's style for a panoramic view of the canyon. The house dates to 1972-3, and took 8 years to finish including the "citadel" building in the second photo. The new owner installed that brickwork you see on the balcony of the top photo and added a 4th floor in between the 1st and second floors (she had a small troop of little kids she adopted - the glass windows were too dangerous). I like that house. Impossible for me to get it back now. The average price in the neighborhood has balloned to $2.5 million USD The pair of properties had to be above $5 million. I need to win the lottery to get that back!  Embarrassed
« Last Edit: March 04, 2019, 11:05:37 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged
Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2019, 10:51:46 am »

I could be satisfied with a fortified tower house, but a proper castle would be better! There was one in Galway for sale, with towers and all, and a 5 acre walled garden!! Oh, for the money!!

I'm a qualified archaeologist & historian, with an interest in fortifications - the possibilities are endless - if only the money were, too!

 West Coast Irish castle  with walled garden... Priceless.

 With those qualifications, you would be well placed to wall the Victorian boundary with fortification.


One would have to have somewhere to live while the modern castle was being built - what better than an old castle! In fact, a modern one would probably be better, as I could have a lift (elevator) built into the fabric rather than inserting one into an older building. I don't do stairs well, being somewhat lame!

From memory, the Galway castle was formerly one of the O'Kelly family dwellings.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2019, 10:54:08 am by Banfili » Logged
bicyclebuilder
Zeppelin Overlord
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Netherlands Netherlands


A.K.A. Scanner Camera Builder


« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2019, 11:08:18 am »

#Snip#
 One doesn't need to go. The full  Castle Etz experience. [though it is my  favourite]

#Snip#

I have the luxury of visiting this castle next weekend.
It's an hour drive from where I'm staying over the weekend.
If I'm lucky, it's going to be clouded but no rain.
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morozow
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Russian Federation Russian Federation



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« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2019, 12:30:25 pm »

Castle "Swallow's nest" a monument of architecture and history, located on a steep 40-meter Aurora rock Cape AI-Todor in the village of Gaspra on the southern coast of Crimea. "Swallow's nest" became the emblem of the southern coast of Crimea.

Its current form of "Swallow's nest" received thanks to the Russian oil producer P. L. Steingel (nephew of the famous Builder of Russian Railways Baron Rudolf Steingel), who liked to relax in the Crimea. Steingel bought on the Aurora rock suburban area and decided to build a romantic castle, which resembles medieval buildings on the banks of the Rhine. The design of the new house in 1911 was commissioned by the engineer and sculptor Leonid Sherwood, the son of the architect Vladimir Sherwood.

The castle is really small.  The building is 12 meters high was located on the Foundation with width of 10 and length of 20 meters. "Bird" volumes answered the internal device: an entrance hall, a drawing room, steps and two bedrooms consistently settled down in a two-storeyed tower which rose over a rock. There was a garden next to the building.

In 1927 in the Crimea there was a strong earthquake. There was a deep slanting crack in the rock under the castle, part of it with the garden collapsed into the sea, and the observation deck hung over the precipice, but the building itself was almost not damaged.

In 2013, cracks were found in the Foundation slab, and in the autumn the visit was suspended for design work on the reconstruction and strengthening of the rock.

Currently, the Palace is in disrepair and is awaiting restoration. Balcony hanging over the sea, "a hazard", said the Minister of culture of the Republic of Crimea Arina Novoselskaya. The Palace will be completely closed to the public when the renovation works begin.

In this castle, a film by Govorukhin based on the novel by Agatha Christie "Ten Negroes"



Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Sorry for the errors, rudeness and stupidity. It's not me, this online translator. Really convenient?
Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2019, 06:37:08 pm »

#Snip#
 One doesn't need to go. The full  Castle Etz experience. [though it is my  favourite]

#Snip#

I have the luxury of visiting this castle next weekend.
It's an hour drive from where I'm staying over the weekend.
If I'm lucky, it's going to be clouded but no rain.

 One day....

 You will have to share your photos and experience  with us Gogglers. If it doesn't live up to expectations, please feel free to embellush.
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2019, 06:38:01 pm »

Castle "Swallow's nest" a monument of architecture and history, located on a steep 40-meter Aurora rock Cape AI-Todor in the village of Gaspra on the southern coast of Crimea. "Swallow's nest" became the emblem of the southern coast of Crimea.

Its current form of "Swallow's nest" received thanks to the Russian oil producer P. L. Steingel (nephew of the famous Builder of Russian Railways Baron Rudolf Steingel), who liked to relax in the Crimea. Steingel bought on the Aurora rock suburban area and decided to build a romantic castle, which resembles medieval buildings on the banks of the Rhine. The design of the new house in 1911 was commissioned by the engineer and sculptor Leonid Sherwood, the son of the architect Vladimir Sherwood.

The castle is really small.  The building is 12 meters high was located on the Foundation with width of 10 and length of 20 meters. "Bird" volumes answered the internal device: an entrance hall, a drawing room, steps and two bedrooms consistently settled down in a two-storeyed tower which rose over a rock. There was a garden next to the building.

In 1927 in the Crimea there was a strong earthquake. There was a deep slanting crack in the rock under the castle, part of it with the garden collapsed into the sea, and the observation deck hung over the precipice, but the building itself was almost not damaged.

In 2013, cracks were found in the Foundation slab, and in the autumn the visit was suspended for design work on the reconstruction and strengthening of the rock.

Currently, the Palace is in disrepair and is awaiting restoration. Balcony hanging over the sea, "a hazard", said the Minister of culture of the Republic of Crimea Arina Novoselskaya. The Palace will be completely closed to the public when the renovation works begin.

In this castle, a film by Govorukhin based on the novel by Agatha Christie "Ten Negroes"



Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A Lemony Snickert Castle. That is a precarious majesty
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2019, 06:40:29 pm »

I could be satisfied with a fortified tower house, but a proper castle would be better! There was one in Galway for sale, with towers and all, and a 5 acre walled garden!! Oh, for the money!!

I'm a qualified archaeologist & historian, with an interest in fortifications - the possibilities are endless - if only the money were, too!

 West Coast Irish castle  with walled garden... Priceless.

 With those qualifications, you would be well placed to wall the Victorian boundary with fortification.


One would have to have somewhere to live while the modern castle was being built - what better than an old castle! In fact, a modern one would probably be better, as I could have a lift (elevator) built into the fabric rather than inserting one into an older building. I don't do stairs well, being somewhat lame!

From memory, the Galway castle was formerly one of the O'Kelly family dwellings.


 If they had lifts  back then for gouty old nobles, they would have used them. 8 year old serfs working the pulleys  to reach the parapets

A Galway castle with a secret garden, even better
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2019, 11:34:05 pm »

J. Wilhelm, the Mexican influence adds flavour  to architecture, of  your childhood homes and castle buildings .  

I recall your childhood home from previous posts, thank you got sharing again. There is something very compelling  about   the design  and look of your citidel with its own forest.  The landscape is rather up and down in N. Z. . Houses are often built on hillsides [then slide down] and sloping sections. They are for the most part,  houses plonked precariously on a slope.

*snip*
 


That master bedroom had all glass walls - 1970's style for a panoramic view of the canyon. The house dates to 1972-3, and took 8 years to finish including the "citadel" building in the second photo. The new owner installed that brickwork you see on the balcony of the top photo and added a 4th floor in between the 1st and second floors (she had a small troop of little kids she adopted - the glass windows were too dangerous). I like that house. Impossible for me to get it back now. The average price in the neighborhood has balloned to $2.5 million USD The pair of properties had to be above $5 million. I need to win the lottery to get that back!  Embarrassed


Its quite contrary which areas suddenly become boom areas. One can appreciate why your old neighbour  did. It will have to go in the "if only list"...

 In the small city here, there are older and newer  homes with  fabulous older stone retaining walls. It's a volcanic area  with distinctive stone.  The most attractive are the  halved l round rocks. I tried finding photos on line  of some examples  with out much luck


Here are  a selection of   web site and sample shots

http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/en/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2899-regina-placevictoria-esplanade-retaining-wall-1901

http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/en/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2907-railway-retaining-wall-sir-victor-davies-park-1875

This one is quite beautiful
http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2896-retaining-wall-17-vivian-street-1890s

Here is "my house" that I can't afford. It has a beautiful round stone fence. It's a plain cottage  with a simple appeal  and it's 200 yards from a surf beach, at the other end of town . There is something about it  that draws me when I have  walked past it on rare occasion.  The property has been tidied up slightly  since that  real estate listing shot. It's still a million dollar home because of its great location.   :-x


« Last Edit: March 05, 2019, 11:37:02 pm by Hurricane Annie » Logged
Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2019, 12:21:12 am »

Here is "my house" that I can't afford. It has a beautiful round stone fence. It's a plain cottage  with a simple appeal  and it's 200 yards from a surf beach, at the other end of town . There is something about it  that draws me when I have  walked past it on rare occasion.  The property has been tidied up slightly  since that  real estate listing shot. It's still a million dollar home because of its great location.   :-x

One must have dreams, Hurricane, because without them we don't have a lot to keep us going, especially if one is financially challenged!
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J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Board Moderator
Immortal
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United States United States


Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2019, 09:55:46 pm »

Here is "my house" that I can't afford. It has a beautiful round stone fence. It's a plain cottage  with a simple appeal  and it's 200 yards from a surf beach, at the other end of town . There is something about it  that draws me when I have  walked past it on rare occasion.  The property has been tidied up slightly  since that  real estate listing shot. It's still a million dollar home because of its great location.   :-x


One must have dreams, Hurricane, because without them we don't have a lot to keep us going, especially if one is financially challenged!


Indeed. Even if I can only have mine back in time for my deathbed!  Shocked

J. Wilhelm, the Mexican influence adds flavour  to architecture, of  your childhood homes and castle buildings .  

I recall your childhood home from previous posts, thank you got sharing again. There is something very compelling  about   the design  and look of your citidel with its own forest.  The landscape is rather up and down in N. Z. . Houses are often built on hillsides [then slide down] and sloping sections. They are for the most part,  houses plonked precariously on a slope.

*snip*
 


That master bedroom had all glass walls - 1970's style for a panoramic view of the canyon. The house dates to 1972-3, and took 8 years to finish including the "citadel" building in the second photo. The new owner installed that brickwork you see on the balcony of the top photo and added a 4th floor in between the 1st and second floors (she had a small troop of little kids she adopted - the glass windows were too dangerous). I like that house. Impossible for me to get it back now. The average price in the neighborhood has balloned to $2.5 million USD The pair of properties had to be above $5 million. I need to win the lottery to get that back!  Embarrassed


Its quite contrary which areas suddenly become boom areas. One can appreciate why your old neighbour  did. It will have to go in the "if only list"...

 In the small city here, there are older and newer  homes with  fabulous older stone retaining walls. It's a volcanic area  with distinctive stone.  The most attractive are the  halved l round rocks. I tried finding photos on line  of some examples  with out much luck


Here are  a selection of   web site and sample shots

http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/en/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2899-regina-placevictoria-esplanade-retaining-wall-1901

http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/en/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2907-railway-retaining-wall-sir-victor-davies-park-1875

This one is quite beautiful
http://ketenewplymouth.peoplesnetworknz.info/heritage_sites_and_features/topics/show/2896-retaining-wall-17-vivian-street-1890s

Here is "my house" that I can't afford. It has a beautiful round stone fence. It's a plain cottage  with a simple appeal  and it's 200 yards from a surf beach, at the other end of town . There is something about it  that draws me when I have  walked past it on rare occasion.  The property has been tidied up slightly  since that  real estate listing shot. It's still a million dollar home because of its great location.   :-x





The setting is beautiful. And I definitely prefer the rustic look with natural materials (rock/boulders). We did not have any "fancy" interiors in the old house. It was elegant, but in a very unpretentious way. My grandmother accumulated stacks of architectural and fashion magazines from where she and my grandfather got ideas while they were building. It was all folkloric Mexican stuff (hand painted tile, basic dark wood furniture, lacquered hand made/burned bricks in the walls, red tile, white ceilings). Not an ounce of marble or granite or brass inside the house. Rustic in the style of Frank Lloyd Wright for those of you who may know about architecture.

Yeah, the million dolllar property - that sounds like California. The property values are in the millions because they're right on the beach - regardless of size!

I think the writing was in the wall for my properties though. My grandparents got scared because of the economy ca. 1985, violence and crime in the streets was very bad, taxes were very high, and we even had an armed block night watchman, fearing a house robbery. He also (wrongly) felt he was too old to be employed as an engineer (which turned out to be wrong as he applied a got a job back in a border town when his business tanked when we were living in San Diego). He basically sold the citadel to a one buyer and burned the money to invest in a new business venture (a disaster) in San Diego.

All we had left by 1985 was the original house which we sold in 1986. It's was in a greenbelt around the city. But the neighborhood is so close to #CDMX proper that it was bound to balloon in price (as well as taxes).

So "What if" is more like a facepalm and banging your head against the wall. We can't foresee the future. We would've be fine renting the citadel and having that pay for the sustenance of the old house.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2019, 10:20:39 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged
Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2019, 12:04:38 am »


. Mr J. Wilhelm. Hind sight is always 20/ 20. All the If onlys...

 Your discription of your Grandparents place sounds like an classic  artists retreat style  of the  era.  Trying to find the correct term, a  word "artesanía" popped up. Mexican art work style used by popular  artists of the era, such as Frida Kahlo.

  The Mexican folk art style had some influence in 
  N. Z., despite our colder climes. In the 70s pottery, macrame`, blouson tops, wooden decorative panels, terra cotta and the odd Adobe home  added flavour to the scene. Unfortunately the food did not enter the menu.
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Cora Courcelle
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England England



« Reply #22 on: March 08, 2019, 06:24:45 pm »

I'd like a castle, but only if it comes with central heating and plumbing (and downtrodden minions under the supervision of my monkey butler).
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You have to tread a fine line between avant-garde surrealism and getting yourself sectioned...
Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2019, 11:32:12 pm »

I'd like a castle, but only if it comes with central heating and plumbing (and downtrodden minions under the supervision of my monkey butler).

All such requirements are understood as implied!
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Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2019, 02:06:37 am »

I'd like a castle, but only if it comes with central heating and plumbing (and downtrodden minions under the supervision of my monkey butler).

All such requirements are understood as implied!

  As one  does Ladies
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