Author Topic: GAAAAAHHHHHH Mk.VI: The Return of the Son of the 50ft GAAAH that struck back!  (Read 98032 times)

Mercury Wells

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Father von Corax passed away this evening.

A bit late, I know.

Sorry about your loss.  :( :( :(
Oh...my old war wound? I got that at The Battle of Dorking. Very nasty affair that was, I can tell you.

The Ministry of Tea respectfully advises you to drink one cup of tea day...for that +5 Moral Fibre stat.

Lazaras

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last night I just.... kinda had a realization. 

I've tried holding it together best I can, but last night was that
final wobble. Just me taking a long hard look at everything and
realizing that... Frankly? I'm in the same life situation I've been in for the past twenty years. Except not. Friends have left because I felt pushed around by communities they're in, one died in 2020 right as covid ramped up. I've just been growing more angry. Less able to keep composed as time goes on. Getting more frustrated when even simple things are somehow beyond my grasp.

I'm tired of me being miserable being a boat anchor around everyone's
necks. that raincloud where I know everyone's just internally cringing
'dear god NOW WHAT.' Yet at the same turn I'm tired of everyone. I'm
tired of the handwringing. The empty wellwishing. The zero effort
handwringing while everyone convinces themselves they are good people,
or at least are unable to help.  All while 'Oh hey here is expensive
amazing THIIIIING look at what i'm doing isn't that amazing? Isn't
that WONDERFUL? I'm DOING STUFF all while YOU are standing still I
don't have TIME for you. You are at best a third or fourth option if
I'm doing nothing. You aren't andn ever will be a priority.'

And in that moment I realized.... I need to go. I could stay until I
drive everyone away. Piss on any good will I ever had with anyone
No... I'm not happy. No I don't like this or see it as something I
want to do. Truth is, I'm misirable, but this way at least when people
look back ther'es that empty 'oh well it was fun' on those
increasingly rare moments of being considered at all.

I'm doing this because almost every... community I've been
part of has ended up running me out on rails. Friends turn against me.
and then they preen at their own morality. It's either that, or just
me taking a long walk.

I'm here more out of a sense of obligation than any real idea I have anything to contribute. Left twitter, discord, pretty much every social media and other community.

All I can say is I have too many obligations to call things quits, but I'm misirable, have no future, never seem to have had a future, and day in and out I hear screaming. Literal... Screaming either from my special needs twin, or my special needs sister, or because my stepdad thinks it's funny.... or I get to listen to such wonderful second hand facebook pearls of wisdom my parents sagely agree with that ,and I quote, go along these lines:

'you should show your voter registration card at the pump. Republicans get to pay a buck fifty. Democrats six bucks.'

And on.. .and on and on.


My bike's not shifting because the shifter cable's frayed out on it. It.. .ALMOST works, but mid adjsutments the thign slips. It's a fifteen dollar replacement and.... part of me just wonders why bother. Why did I ever bother with the bike? When things warm up I'm going to be my stepdad's mule. Oh he SAYS I don't have to do things. Sure. awesome. then I get to hear how i'm the scum of the earth and the reason this country is in the toilet.... or thinly veiled threats on what happens if I don't. Or just plain good old fashion internal guilt since I live here so y'know. It's kinda what you're supposed to do, pitch in when things are going.


I am not well, and I'm getting worse.

I will survive.
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LukeHogbin

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Might be a good idea to talk to a mental health specialist... sounds like you're deeply in throes of depression.
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Lazaras

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Yea, well. That's a non-option unfortunately. Great idea though.

Sorontar

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Lazaras, I hope that you are able to make some changes at your own pace and can appreciate what they offer. Yes, talking to someone is a good thing. Talking to a mental health practitioner is best, but talking to anyone is good too. They might not be able to give you new answers, but they may be able to give you new questions that might help you see new options or perspectives.

Sorontar
« Last Edit: March 12, 2022, 03:15:44 am by Sorontar »
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Lazaras

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I will explain this as best as I can:

I am incapible of getting proper psychiatric help. It is not a matter of want, or knowledge. This is an argument i have had with someone who usedto be a friend of mine i'd known longer than I've been part of this forum. Due to my family and living arrangement. I Am. unable. To. Properly. Seek. Mental. Help.

And even if I could there is not a chance in hell in me affording the billing muh less costs of medication.

This is something said friend knew, quite plainly. Even acknowledged. Yet treated my attempts at mitigation with a 'Oh well Noone can do anything but you so I'm going to act like you're a horrible person and fling everything in your face.' Which.... is why we aren't friends anymore andh aven't been for a few years.

So I do appreciate what you are telling me, but it falls squarely under the category of 'Do you think I'd be on random internet message board screaming if I could go about this the right way?'

morozow

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We had a special topic for those who are depressed and in similar states. I remember seeing him.

Where is he? I want to understand and be comforted.
Sorry for the errors, rudeness and stupidity. It's not me, this online translator. Really convenient?

von Corax

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We had a special topic for those who are depressed and in similar states. I remember seeing him.

Where is he? I want to understand and be comforted.

You might be thinking of the Dragon Tamers metaclub thread.
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By the power of caffeine do I set my mind in motion
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morozow

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You might be thinking of the Dragon Tamers metaclub thread.

Thanks!

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Getting heckled 4 times in a week for wearing a mask in crowded places. The only place requiring a mask now is inside public transportation.

MWBailey

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Getting heckled 4 times in a week for wearing a mask in crowded places. The only place requiring a mask now is inside public transportation.




Understand That I'm sort of a "I'll do what I want, you don't like like it, too bad," type of person as far as far as dressing up or wearing masks in public (had to do so [the masking thing] for years pre-pandemic at certain times of the year for respiratory issues, by doc's order, so the stares and heckles just sort of slide off nowadays) or wearing bowlers or top hats at Music venues when everyone else is wearing baseball and cowboy hats so big you'd think they live under them at home...

Yeah. Well, what I intended to say at the outset was that some people are just pricks (pardon my Klingonese, but it's true). It doesn't do to tell them so to their faces, because getting home alive or without having to wear prison attire is usually better than the alternative. Some people just use criticizing others as a safety valve. Others do it for entertainment. Kind of the same way some people get on the expressway and drive like they're trying to commit mass mechanized murder for no better reason than just that their dog peed on their laptop. *shrug* Makes no real sense, but these days, people are so worried about anything and everything else that they lash out at the first target they find. Gotta be like a duck's back, even as hard as that is, just to put up and survive. It's better than the alternative. Usually...
« Last Edit: March 25, 2022, 10:33:18 pm by MWBailey »
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Xenos

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Sorry I've been rather absent again. Past couple of weeks have been busy busy busy. That's the biggest GAH of it, to be sure. I haven't had a moment of peace since the Worker's Comp ended and I entered "retirement." Bloody annoying that is.

I feel like I should be able to breathe easier, but it's almost like someone kicked my life into overdrive, and there's now not enough hours in the day--I'm racing headlong off a cliff, and I don't even know what I'm running towards! It's frustrating, I'm frustrated, and I'm bloody tired.

Ah well. Such is life, I suppose.
Don't let these shakes go on, it's time we had a break from it. Send me to the rear! Where the Tides of Madness swell, and men sliding into Hell...

Oh please don't let these shakes go on...

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I just did something I've never done before — I put over $100 worth of gas into my Honda Accord. :o

J. Wilhelm

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I just did something I've never done before — I put over $100 worth of gas into my Honda Accord. :o

Time to look at those electric cars, eh? Or at least a used hybrid.  I haven't driven in about 7 years. But I know that when I pick up q pair of keys again, my next car will definitely be electric.

von Corax

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I just did something I've never done before — I put over $100 worth of gas into my Honda Accord. :o

Time to look at those electric cars, eh? Or at least a used hybrid.  I haven't driven in about 7 years. But I know that when I pick up q pair of keys again, my next car will definitely be electric.

Good in theory, but I'm not going to get 12 years out of an electric or hybrid, and I have no place to plug one in.

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I just did something I've never done before — I put over $100 worth of gas into my Honda Accord. :o

I filled my car up last week. The first time in over three months. Hardly been leaving the house except when unavoidable. I do drive to the fish and chip shop once a week but that's only a 2 mile round trip. It's getting to the stage where I'm thinking of getting rid of the car. It might be cheaper to hire one should I ever need to make a longer trip. But that seems unlikely for some time. However, I'm not walking to the fish and chip shop 'cause it'd be cold before I got it home.  ;D
The legs have fallen off my Victorian Lady...

Xenos

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I just did something I've never done before — I put over $100 worth of gas into my Honda Accord. :o

I filled my car up last week. The first time in over three months. Hardly been leaving the house except when unavoidable. I do drive to the fish and chip shop once a week but that's only a 2 mile round trip. It's getting to the stage where I'm thinking of getting rid of the car. It might be cheaper to hire one should I ever need to make a longer trip. But that seems unlikely for some time. However, I'm not walking to the fish and chip shop 'cause it'd be cold before I got it home.  ;D

Believe it or not, the best fish'n'chips I've had recently came from a burger joint. It's true! And that's reason enough for a GAH in itself. Still though, crispy batter, melt in your mouth good fish, perfect golden brown chips... Lovely malt vinegar to go with, and a proper pint along with it. Was pure bliss.

In fact, I think I may try and talk the wife into round two tomorrow. Them's good fish.

GAH for today. Pain. Unimaginable, nigh unbearable. Just under the right ribs. So bad I can barely breathe. No idea what I've done. That, when coupled with the muscle pain in my quads, I can barely walk now. It's rough going for Zathras.

Very sad life. Probably will be sad death.

But at least there is symmetry!

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However, I'm not walking to the fish and chip shop 'cause it'd be cold before I got it home.  ;D
In 2020, with the city in lockdown for most of the second half of the year, I rarely used our car. Once I drove it approximately 800 metres to get fish'n'chips. The poor battery managed to only last there. Once I got the food, it wouldn't restart. I had to walk the food home (my normal distance from the bus stop), eat it, then walk back and luckily managed to get it to start again. Got home then got a new battery delivered the next day.

Quote from: Xenos
GAH for today. Pain. Unimaginable, nigh unbearable. Just under the right ribs. So bad I can barely breathe. No idea what I've done.
That, when coupled with the muscle pain in my quads, I can barely walk now. It's rough going for Zathras. Very sad life. Probably will be sad death. But at least there is symmetry!

Bonus points from me to you for the Zathras reference.
Though even better if you had said your knees give you gyp (I suspect that's an old kid's tv show reference and saying that no-one but British or Aussies of my generation will get).

Sorontar
« Last Edit: March 27, 2022, 11:58:09 am by Sorontar »

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GAH for today. Pain. Unimaginable, nigh unbearable. Just under the right ribs. So bad I can barely breathe. No idea what I've done.
I had that. Three times in the space of a month. It turned out to be my pancreas announcing its retirement, so I had to have it removed. And the last thing the surgeon said to me before the operation? "No more fish and chips for you." By which time it was too late to pull out.  :( Not that I would have, the last bout was probably the most pain I have ever felt, certainly worse than a slipped disc or putting a printing press through my hand.

I do hope that is not your problem, Xanthras.
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Having roommates get drunk overnight with rum and other things, knocking on my door at 5 am, and then me waking up 5 hours later with a very mild hangover.

Then I look inside the refrigerator, and realize I didn't drink anything last night. My pint of beer was still unopened.

Hangover by association?

Xenos

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Bonus points from me to you for the Zathras reference.
Though even better if you had said your knees give you gyp (I suspect that's an old kid's tv show reference and saying that no-one but British or Aussies of my generation will get).

Sorontar

Don't know the gyp. Then again, I grew up in Africa/the Middle East, with limited access to the tele. Glad you got the Zathras reference! Speaking of B5, they're in talks for a reboot. However, Zathras won't be in it. He's being replaced by Zathras.

I had that. Three times in the space of a month. It turned out to be my pancreas announcing its retirement, so I had to have it removed. And the last thing the surgeon said to me before the operation? "No more fish and chips for you." By which time it was too late to pull out.  :( Not that I would have, the last bout was probably the most pain I have ever felt, certainly worse than a slipped disc or putting a printing press through my hand.

I do hope that is not your problem, Xanthras.

Pancreatitis? I've already lost the gallbladder, so pretty sure it's not that. They told me no fish'n'chips after that as well. I (didnae) listen(ed) to them, so very well! Bugger. Reckon if it keeps it up, I should probably get checked then. It's been going on a while now (as in more'n a week). No fever, no lethargy, only occasional chills, but that could be anything. Well, I say no lethargy, but how would one really tell if one's always ran down, tired, and just in general beat?

Should probably look more into symptomology on it. And aye, if it keeps up, I'll get checked out. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly. Maybe.

Solid 7 out of 10 chance.

Fair to middling.

I will more than likely not let it get to the point my gallbladder did, where I'm on the operating table as the organ explodes, and I nearly shuffle loose this mortal coil. Most likely. No guarantees, but the odds are favorable. I don't like writing checks with my mouth my arse can't cash, as it were!  ;D

(I just really hate doctors, OK?)

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Bonus points from me to you for the Zathras reference.
Though even better if you had said your knees give you gyp (I suspect that's an old kid's tv show reference and saying that no-one but British or Aussies of my generation will get).

Sorontar

Don't know the gyp. Then again, I grew up in Africa/the Middle East, with limited access to the tele. Glad you got the Zathras reference! Speaking of B5, they're in talks for a reboot. However, Zathras won't be in it. He's being replaced by Zathras.

I had that. Three times in the space of a month. It turned out to be my pancreas announcing its retirement, so I had to have it removed. And the last thing the surgeon said to me before the operation? "No more fish and chips for you." By which time it was too late to pull out.  :( Not that I would have, the last bout was probably the most pain I have ever felt, certainly worse than a slipped disc or putting a printing press through my hand.

I do hope that is not your problem, Xanthras.

Pancreatitis? I've already lost the gallbladder, so pretty sure it's not that. They told me no fish'n'chips after that as well. I (didnae) listen(ed) to them, so very well! Bugger. Reckon if it keeps it up, I should probably get checked then. It's been going on a while now (as in more'n a week). No fever, no lethargy, only occasional chills, but that could be anything. Well, I say no lethargy, but how would one really tell if one's always ran down, tired, and just in general beat?

Should probably look more into symptomology on it. And aye, if it keeps up, I'll get checked out. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly. Maybe.

Solid 7 out of 10 chance.

Fair to middling.

I will more than likely not let it get to the point my gallbladder did, where I'm on the operating table as the organ explodes, and I nearly shuffle loose this mortal coil. Most likely. No guarantees, but the odds are favorable. I don't like writing checks with my mouth my arse can't cash, as it were!  ;D

(I just really hate doctors, OK?)

OK
But get it checked anyway, just as a favour to us all, please?

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Should probably look more into symptomology on it. And aye, if it keeps up, I'll get checked out. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly. Maybe.

Solid 7 out of 10 chance.

Fair to middling




Devil's advocate here. Or, the guy who always pipes up with his own arsehole opinion, take your pick.

I have a long history of keeping my ailments mostly to myself. Rest assured, before I bare my symptoms anyplace online or to a friend or to my parents or a relative, it's usually been ongoing for a while. Why? because nine times out of ten, what hurts this hour, this day, this week, or whatever, usually stops hurting in about another of the same time periods.

When it doesn't, That's when I talk to others, or call the doc.

If it's been a week or more, and if your pain under the ribs is still persisting tonight, call the doc in the AM. Get it checked out and listen to HIM/HER. Not somebody on a forum.

(No Offense, folks)

Keep us posted.

von Corax

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Should probably look more into symptomology on it. And aye, if it keeps up, I'll get checked out. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly. Maybe.

Solid 7 out of 10 chance.

Fair to middling


Get it checked out and listen to HIM/HER. Not somebody on a forum.


Except when they tell you to get it checked out. ;)

MWBailey

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Should probably look more into symptomology on it. And aye, if it keeps up, I'll get checked out. Definitely. Probably. Almost certainly. Maybe.

Solid 7 out of 10 chance.

Fair to middling


Get it checked out and listen to HIM/HER. Not somebody on a forum.


Except when they tell you to get it checked out. ;)




EXACTLY!


Er...wait a sec...  :-[