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Author Topic: The Steampunk Jokes Thread  (Read 11684 times)
chicar
Rogue Ætherlord
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Canada Canada


Student in Techno-Shamanism and Lyncanthrope

Chicar556
WWW
« on: September 27, 2015, 01:36:19 am »

A compendium of our steampunk themed jokes.

Lets start:

1)What the courier pilot answered when asked what he prefer to use as personal armor ?

I'm a mail man

Edit : Looking back at this one three years later, i’m impressed by my wits, especially considering it the only one who totally my invention.

2) A mad scientist plan to travel to the Sun. '' but it is too hot here ! '' '' don't worry i will go by night. ''

3) Three men arrive in Heaven.

First man: What all this clocks are for ?
St-Peter: They calculate the sins of the mortals. For each sins, they move of one second.

The first men's clock barely move of a minute, the second of five.

Third man: Where mine ?
St-Peter: The boss use it as ventilator.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2018, 11:58:30 pm by chicar » Logged

The word pagan came from paganus , who mean peasant . Its was a way to significate than christianism was the religion of the elite and paganism the one of the savage worker class.

''Trickster shows us how we trick OURSELVES. Her rampant curiosity backfires, but, then, something NEW is discovered (though usually not what She expected)! This is where creativity comes from—experiment, do something different, maybe even something forbidden, and voila! A breakthrough occurs! Ha! Ha! We are released! The world is created anew! Do something backwards, break your own traditions, the barrier breaks; destroy the world as you know it, let the new in.''
Extract of the Dreamflesh article ''Path of The Sacred Clown''
ForestB
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States

Lady of the copper frogs


« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2015, 02:36:45 am »

What do you call a steampunk in disguise?









Incognito
Logged

Please take a look at my website, see what I create...

http://www.forestbetz.weebly.com
Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Scotland Scotland


Caledon MacHinery (they/them)


« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2015, 12:28:19 pm »

following this. nothing to contribute so far
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I struggle and arise
CPT_J_Percell
Board Moderator
Zeppelin Captain
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England England


The werewolf Airship Captain.


WWW
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2015, 02:45:35 pm »

What do you call an Angry Steampunk?
Brassed Off.
How did the Angry Steampunk calm down?
He let of steam.
Logged

I suffer from a random misfiring synapse and a bad case of wolfen the turns me into a seven-foot-tall werewolf or a seven-foot great wolf!
https://dragon-rehoming-centre.myshopify.com/
http://purbry.wordpress.com
Will Howard
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States



« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2015, 04:58:44 pm »


How did the Angry Steampunk calm down?
He let of steam.

He really vented on this one...
Logged

"I'm a Barbarian by choice, not ancestry..."
Maets
Immortal
**
United States United States

Gravatar

Airship Builder


WWW
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2015, 12:36:40 am »

We'll have to gear up to start telling jokes.
Logged

CPT_J_Percell
Board Moderator
Zeppelin Captain
**
England England


The werewolf Airship Captain.


WWW
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2015, 05:29:30 am »


How did the Angry Steampunk calm down?
He let of steam.


He really vented on this one...

Ba dum tss Wink
Logged
chicar
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Canada Canada


Student in Techno-Shamanism and Lyncanthrope

Chicar556
WWW
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2015, 09:41:31 pm »

What the big stack said to the little stack ?

You're too young to smoke.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2019, 11:10:09 pm by chicar » Logged
Cora Courcelle
Snr. Officer
****
England England



« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2015, 03:00:02 pm »

Why should Steampunks be fashion icons?

They have the best gear.
Logged

You have to tread a fine line between avant-garde surrealism and getting yourself sectioned...
Captain Steele Tear
Gunner
**
United States United States


« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2018, 05:29:24 pm »

Looking into the closet my wife asked me; "Why do you need so many goggles?", to which I replied; "Why do you need so many shoes?".
Logged

Happy ocular transference.
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2018, 03:09:19 am »

How many steampunks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four. One to screw in the bulb, one to replace the conduit with copper piping, one to antique the woodwork and finish, and one to post a picture of it on pinterest.
Logged

RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2018, 08:03:39 pm »

Why was one boot mad at the other?

***

They had a spat.

{rimshot}
Logged
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2018, 08:05:24 pm »

How does a steampunk check his (her) facts?

***

Just goggle it.
Logged
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2018, 08:18:01 pm »

What did one top hat say to the other top hat?
***
You stay here, I'm going to go on ahead.
Logged
Lawrence walsh
Swab

American Samoa American Samoa


« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2019, 07:40:47 pm »

what does an engineer never leave home without?

his/her gear
Logged

“Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence.”- Edgar Allen Poe

"The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind."- h.p Lovecraft
Will Howard
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States



« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2019, 01:17:05 am »

Gentlemen, brace yourselves for this one:
In the United States, men hold their trousers up with suspenders...
Logged
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2019, 07:56:02 pm »

I have a belt holding my pants up and loops on my pants holding my belt up. I would like to know who is doing the real work here?
Logged
Will Howard
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States



« Reply #17 on: December 20, 2019, 12:02:16 am »

I have a belt holding my pants up and loops on my pants holding my belt up. I would like to know who is doing the real work here?

There is a great debate over that, RT Livingstone.   But if your pants are too tight & you bend over suddenly, it seams there may be a split decision...
« Last Edit: December 20, 2019, 11:33:52 pm by Will Howard » Logged
Synistor 303
Snr. Officer
****
Australia Australia


Zenyna Ironbracker


« Reply #18 on: December 20, 2019, 12:25:17 am »

Gentlemen, brace yourselves for this one:
In the United States, men hold their trousers up with suspenders...

And when you have a fringe cut, you call it 'bangs', which is really odd.
Logged
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #19 on: December 20, 2019, 03:40:22 pm »

I have a belt holding my pants up and loops on my pants holding my belt up. I would like to know who is doing the real work here?

There is a great debate over that, RT Livingstone.   But if tour pants are too tight & you bend over suddenly, it seams there may be a split decision...

Your observation is very revealing. My preference, when staying in a hotel is to opt for one with the biggest ball room.
Logged
Will Howard
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States



« Reply #20 on: December 20, 2019, 11:35:17 pm »

Gentlemen, brace yourselves for this one:
In the United States, men hold their trousers up with suspenders...

And when you have a fringe cut, you call it 'bangs', which is really odd.

You have banged the nail on the head, Synistor 303...
Logged
RT Livingstone
Officer
***
United States United States


malarkey!


« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2019, 03:12:16 pm »

Gentlemen, brace yourselves for this one:
In the United States, men hold their trousers up with suspenders...

And when you have a fringe cut, you call it 'bangs', which is really odd.

We "Yanked" that term from the Brits actually. 
Logged
Mercury Wells
Rogue Ætherlord
*
I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)


« Reply #22 on: March 31, 2020, 07:43:30 pm »

What time do Squids get up?

At the Kraken dawn.
Logged

Oh...my old war wound? I got that at The Battle of Dorking. Very nasty affair that was, I can tell you.

The Ministry of Tea respectfully advises you to drink one cup of tea day...for that +5 Moral Fibre stat.
Prof Marvel
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Western Sahara Western Sahara


too depressed for words


« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2020, 09:23:56 am »

Aaaaand I will dredge up this old one again ...

" I believe thats a Kraken, Bruce - I think he's gonna go with the nine iron, that may not be enough club..."


https://www.youtube.com/embed/nx61WPbEqcY

« Last Edit: April 02, 2020, 09:26:32 am by Prof Marvel » Logged

The world is in Hell and I am too depressed for words
Synistor 303
Snr. Officer
****
Australia Australia


Zenyna Ironbracker


« Reply #24 on: April 03, 2020, 12:32:22 am »

Always thought golf was "a good walk ruined", but I would have liked to be at that gold course watching that Kraken...
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