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Author Topic: Things that make you go WTF? MkII  (Read 53455 times)
J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #725 on: April 19, 2018, 08:16:34 pm »



It figures. Packaging of chicken pieces? Oooh! What a radical idea! Because real men hunt their food before dinner, and bring the bloody carcass to the kitchen, to carve with a knife! Who do those mamby pamby snowflakes think they are?



REAL men strip naked, grow fangs and fur, and hunt then eat their meat onsite!

wait...
no....
that's Were-Men.

or is it Were-Wolves?

never mind....

yhs
prof ( were-confused ) marvel




You Were confused?

Where?

Where are the Werewolves, and should we buy Wolfware to handle wolves where they were?

Wherefor?
-------------------------------------
And I too find this snowflake meat thing to be rather disgustlingly  ridiculous. Nothing's better than letting the blood dri- (censored)


Wherewolves? A permanently situationally unaware species or werewolves.
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« Reply #726 on: April 20, 2018, 08:32:24 am »

Wherewolves? A permanently situationally unaware species or werewolves.
Geognostically challenged, please. This isn't the 20th century any more, grandad.  Wink Tongue
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« Reply #727 on: April 20, 2018, 08:47:29 am »

Wherewolves? A permanently situationally unaware species or werewolves.
Geognostically challenged, please. This isn't the 20th century any more, grandad.  Wink Tongue
Pervasive Anigeognostic Lycanthropy Syndrome (PALS) according to the classification given by Miskatonic University.
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Sir Henry
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« Reply #728 on: April 20, 2018, 11:32:47 am »

Wherewolves? A permanently situationally unaware species or werewolves.
Geognostically challenged, please. This isn't the 20th century any more, grandad.  Wink Tongue
Pervasive Anigeognostic Lycanthropy Syndrome (PALS) according to the classification given by Miskatonic University.
There's a fascinating, and as yet unwritten, chapter in the history of the First World War in there... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pals_battalion Wink
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #729 on: April 23, 2018, 05:02:49 am »

I really feel like I'm living in some sort of surreal nightmare. The things I see and hear in the news get more bizarre by the day.

A person carrying an AR-15 assault rifle and wearing nothing but a jacket, walks into a Waffle House restaurant at 3 in the morning and shoots 4 people dead. An employee manages to wrestle the rifle away from the assailant when his AR-15 jams (a common trait of that rifle). The assailant then takes of the jacket and makes a successful escape in the nude.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43855097

Quote
BREAKING: Travis Reinking, 29, of Morton, IL, is person of interest in Waffle House shooting. Vehicle the gunman arrived in is registered to him. Gunman last seen walking south on Murfreesboro Pike. He shed is coat and is nude. See Reinking? Pls call 615-862-8600 immediately.
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« Reply #730 on: April 23, 2018, 08:24:05 am »

I really feel like I'm living in some sort of surreal nightmare. The things I see and hear in the news get more bizarre by the day.

A person carrying an AR-15 assault rifle and wearing nothing but a jacket, walks into a Waffle House restaurant at 3 in the morning and shoots 4 people dead. An employee manages to wrestle the rifle away from the assailant when his AR-15 jams (a common trait of that rifle). The assailant then takes of the jacket and makes a successful escape in the nude.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43855097

Quote
BREAKING: Travis Reinking, 29, of Morton, IL, is person of interest in Waffle House shooting. Vehicle the gunman arrived in is registered to him. Gunman last seen walking south on Murfreesboro Pike. He shed is coat and is nude. See Reinking? Pls call 615-862-8600 immediately.



I am hoping it is cold enough up there to freeze off the breeding parts?
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« Reply #731 on: April 23, 2018, 02:03:08 pm »

Unfortunately 'naked headcase goes crazy with gun' isn't a WTF anymore, I'm more surprised that the cops can somehow not halt or apprehend said naked nutcase at the scene...
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« Reply #732 on: April 23, 2018, 08:14:45 pm »

Unfortunately 'naked headcase goes crazy with gun' isn't a WTF anymore, I'm more surprised that the cops can somehow not halt or apprehend said naked nutcase at the scene...

Unfortunately this serves as an example for other trouble makers. Perhaps will see a new wave of "nudie crime" in the next year...
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #733 on: April 23, 2018, 08:48:47 pm »

Woman fined $500 by customs officers over an undeclared apple in baggage... The apple was given to the woman by the airline during a stop in Minneapolis, when travelling from Paris to Denver.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43864113

The customs officers levued the fine and revoked her

That is a $500 fine just for a French apple inside a sealed plastic bag. and she had her Global Entry status, which allows for expedited security checks, revoked.

I'm glad we have enacted "extreme vetting" procedures for illegal apples. They're invading our country and if we do nothing they'll come and take away all the jobs available to American apples.
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Siliconous Skumins
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« Reply #734 on: April 24, 2018, 10:14:56 am »


I'm glad we have enacted "extreme vetting" procedures for illegal apples. They're invading our country and if we do nothing they'll come and take away all the jobs available to American apples.


Make Cider Great Again...? 


Yeah.....I'll just get my coat...
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #735 on: April 25, 2018, 01:22:23 am »


I'm glad we have enacted "extreme vetting" procedures for illegal apples. They're invading our country and if we do nothing they'll come and take away all the jobs available to American apples.


Make Cider Great Again...? 


Yeah.....I'll just get my coat...

Funny thing is that one of the most recent fads in microbrewering todays is apple cider. Most of the "trendy" brands are downright rubbish  Grin
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #736 on: May 01, 2018, 10:51:34 pm »

FACEBOOK TO LAUNCH DATING SERVICE

Come on, guys! Don't be shy! Who wants to join? They already know all about you!   Cheesy They'll pair you up to a nice gal who speaks with a peculiar accent and agrees with all your political beliefs!

 Grin


https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-facebook-f8conference/facebook-to-play-matchmaker-in-first-dating-service-idUKKBN1I23YX


~ ~ ~

In other news apparently the world has been taken by a new trend: "Power Posing."


http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-43960452

Quote
Advocates of power posing claim it can boost testosterone and adrenaline levels - and help establish your authority over colleagues, particularly among women executives who, they say, often have more submissive body language than their male colleagues.


 Huh

Now, fellows... I need to ask. Was this "power pose" developed by the Ministry of Silly Walks, by any chance?  Roll Eyes
« Last Edit: May 01, 2018, 11:13:20 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged
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« Reply #737 on: May 02, 2018, 12:58:43 am »

One would have thought Facebook was in enough trouble already without playing matchmaker - can you imagine the potential for lawsuits!
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von Corax
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« Reply #738 on: May 02, 2018, 02:32:10 pm »

Body Discovered in Washroom Wall at Calgary Mall

Investigators have not yet determined if the death is suspicious, and say that the logical explanation is that someone crawling through a vent or duct fell from above and got stuck in the wall.
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« Reply #739 on: May 03, 2018, 01:00:30 am »

Body Discovered in Washroom Wall at Calgary Mall

Investigators have not yet determined if the death is suspicious, and say that the logical explanation is that someone crawling through a vent or duct fell from above and got stuck in the wall.


Perfectly natural. Happens all the time. Foul play is not suspect, the police say. And that other guy in the bay was wearing cement shoes, but nothing is out of the ordinary either... Young lads and their weird fashion sense!
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 01:21:15 am by J. Wilhelm » Logged
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« Reply #740 on: May 03, 2018, 03:28:54 am »

Body Discovered in Washroom Wall at Calgary Mall

Investigators have not yet determined if the death is suspicious, and say that the logical explanation is that someone crawling through a vent or duct fell from above and got stuck in the wall.


Perfectly natural. Happens all the time. Foul play is not suspect, the police say. And that other guy in the bay was wearing cement shoes, but nothing is out of the ordinary either... Young lads and their weird fashion sense!

My first thought, as a newly-minted member of a certain well-known labour organization, was, "Mall musta been a Union project!"
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« Reply #741 on: May 07, 2018, 11:21:57 am »

For sale at a local car dealership. Not quite visible is the satellite dish antenna on top.

« Last Edit: May 07, 2018, 11:23:41 am by J. Wilhelm » Logged
J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #742 on: May 10, 2018, 10:43:13 am »

Not a picture, but a mental picture. The weather is warming up here in Texas. With that all the insects start coming out. Today my room mate remarked on how large a cockroach was, when he spotted it in the garage. Two inch cockroaches in summer are very common in these lands in the "American Cockroach" species (actually it originated in Africa....) . Sometimes 2-1/2 inch cockroaches can be spotted at the height of summer.

But this cockroach was so large... How do I put it? Well, it was not a cockroach. More like a Ground Lobster!
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von Corax
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« Reply #743 on: May 10, 2018, 06:54:33 pm »

Not a picture, but a mental picture. The weather is warming up here in Texas. With that all the insects start coming out. Today my room mate remarked on how large a cockroach was, when he spotted it in the garage. Two inch cockroaches in summer are very common in these lands in the "American Cockroach" species (actually it originated in Africa....) . Sometimes 2-1/2 inch cockroaches can be spotted at the height of summer.

But this cockroach was so large... How do I put it? Well, it was not a cockroach. More like a Ground Lobster!

You can have 'em!

On the other hand, I once heard a spider run across my kitchen floor. I was completely sober at the time.
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« Reply #744 on: May 12, 2018, 01:47:48 am »

...
On the other hand, I once heard a spider run across my kitchen floor. I was completely sober at the time.


Don't know about you, but I can guarantee that I would not be sober for much longer after that incident!  Cheesy

Well at least I would not go to the extreme ends that a friend of mine did, you see he REALLY has a phobia of spiders (I mean really bad). One day while cleaning his shotgun (target / sports competitions etc) and he was sat in his computer chair, a rather large house spider ran across the wall in his direction. This was one of those big brown hairy buggers that is too big to fit it's legs inside a pint glass! *shudders*  Shocked

Well, quick as a flash he loaded the gun, swung round in his chair and blasted a huge hole in the wall.  Grin
He spent the next several hours with a loaded shotgun with a torch (flashlight) taped to the end, swiveling round in his chair searching for more invaders. From a distance it looked like he was impersonating a lighthouse...  Grin  Cheesy



So my WTF:

Was out on my electric bike. Some spotty 16 / 17yr old on a real scooter / moped complete with large red "L" plates (Learner, no full driving licence) comes rushing up with a couple of mates, and starts giving me some abuse. Kept calling me "Derick" which was obviously part of some joke between them.

I just stared at him with a look that said "F*** OFF, NOW!"

He continued, spat towards my bike, and said "Do something about it fat c**t - try and keep up!" and him and his buddies sped off laughing.

*I caught two of them as my e-bike was slightly faster, and displayed my annoyance to the one with the big mouth. Both of them denied saying anything, claimed it wasn't them. Clearly it was, they never left my sight...*
 
I told him that if he says one more word, or I see him again, I will shove his toy bike where a proctologist would be required to remove it.
I then turned around and left.


Why the hell would you wear a lurid coloured helmet, ride a scooter covered in stickers & beer bottle labels, and wear a very bright green and pink jacket, and expect to NOT be recognised by the guy chasing after you??  And even when you have been caught red handed, with no possible excuse, why would you keep denying it was you who did the deed?...   Huh

WTF  Huh


**Edited because it sounded more "aggressive" than the actual incident was - think I was still annoyed when I wrote that...**
« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 06:11:47 pm by Siliconous Skumins » Logged
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« Reply #745 on: May 12, 2018, 11:18:34 am »


"OK, C**T, I KEPT UP! SO....YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!....


You're cool!
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Siliconous Skumins
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« Reply #746 on: May 16, 2018, 06:22:26 pm »

Guess it's a slow news day....  Undecided

Quote from: BBC News Website
'Laurel' or 'Yanny'? People can't decide

A widely shared audio clip has divided the internet into two warring tribes - those who hear "yanny" and those who hear "laurel".
The rival factions, the Yannies and the Laurels let's say, have been locked in a bitter battle for aural supremacy since at least Monday, when Reddit user RolandCamry - the anonymous harbinger of internet meltdown - posted the clip online.
After the video migrated to Twitter, the armies' numbers swelled. In the last 24 hours, "yanny" has been mentioned more than 310,000 times. The Laurels are currently edging it with closer to 330,000 uses of the word.


LINK:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-44136799


Because.......? WTF?!  Huh

This is why I dislike social media, it is simply a vessel for the collective creative stupidity of humans with nothing better to do and an opinion they think is important enough for others to hear. Oh and also to correct people on the internet who are wrong...   Roll Eyes
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« Reply #747 on: May 17, 2018, 03:01:25 pm »

From lawyers in Manhattan to homeless people in Austin... More things that presage the end of humanity.

Today in the news :
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44152533

New York based Lawyer at a Manhattan coffee shop has a racist meltdown, threatening to call immigration officers on employees who are speaking in Spanish to customers, accusing the employees of living off "welfare" then casually fat shames a customer eating a sandwich.

Video gone viral, law firm probably at an end.

He was upset to hear Spanish spoken in Manhattan!?!

Sadly, this is more common than you think. A couple of weeks ago the same happened to me. Except that the person having the meltdown was a homeless woman in the bus who was upset I was speaking Spanish to the driver. She left the bus. But the following day came back to berate the bus driver for being "an illegal"

Bus drivers, being public workers are protected under state laws. The driver called the police. The police came and the homeless woman spat on the face of police officer and then kicked him... Got a free ride to jail downtown...  Roll Eyes
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 03:05:00 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged
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« Reply #748 on: May 17, 2018, 03:49:15 pm »



Sadly, this is more common than you think. A couple of weeks ago the same happened to me. Except that the person having the meltdown was a homeless woman in the bus who was upset I was speaking Spanish to the driver. She left the bus. But the following day came back to berate the bus driver for being "an illegal"

Bus drivers, being public workers are protected under state laws. The driver called the police. The police came and the homeless woman spat on the face of police officer and then kicked him... Got a free ride to jail downtown...  Roll Eyes

[/quote]

She was possibly mentally ill- that's the reason that many "homeless" ARE homeless.  If so, hopefully she can get some help for her otherwise inexcusable behavior...
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« Reply #749 on: May 17, 2018, 07:31:05 pm »

Years ago when I was States-side with a couple of my friends (all of us from Slovenia), we had a woman walk up to us and yell at us while we were sitting in a park and talking to each other in Slovene.

"SHUT UP! THIS IS MERICA!"

We just laughed in her face until she lost it and left.
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