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Author Topic: Things that make you go WTF? MkII  (Read 56502 times)
Drew P
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« Reply #225 on: December 06, 2015, 04:33:36 am »

Well, it's nice that you are able to see the good of your situation. Smiley
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« Reply #226 on: December 06, 2015, 10:01:44 pm »

And feel free to blow off steam here when you need to.
Sometimes that's all you need to be able to do.
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Caledonian
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« Reply #227 on: December 06, 2015, 10:26:43 pm »

Thank you all!
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Caledonian
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« Reply #228 on: December 10, 2015, 10:37:11 pm »

...i just cut my fingers while making tea...still wondering how I did that.
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Prof Marvel
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« Reply #229 on: December 11, 2015, 03:27:54 am »

re: getting "hit really hard by a family member"

I fear I have been doing various martial arts for so long that being struck doesn't matter.
As a youngster, I stunned my parents when they saw me break thick boards or throw someone much larger and heavier than myself.

These days, I am taking a Buddhist Passive Aggressive stance - should someone (family or friend, not a stranger trying to kill me) try to strike me, I will stand like a tree, stare unblinking at them, let them hit me and hurt their hand, then whilst still staring, bleed on them.

:-)

but that doesn't help your situation does it?

yhs
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« Reply #230 on: December 11, 2015, 05:58:53 am »

...i just cut my fingers while making tea...still wondering how I did that.
A particularly sharp lemon?
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« Reply #231 on: December 11, 2015, 07:22:43 am »

...i just cut my fingers while making tea...still wondering how I did that.
A particularly sharp lemon?

According to all the best Kung Fu movies, Tea leaves make formidable weapons when flung.
nasty, sharp tea leaves!

yhs
prof mumbles
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Siliconous Skumins
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« Reply #232 on: December 12, 2015, 04:47:14 pm »

There are a number of cannabis growing operations around where I live, nothing new, has been like that for at least the last eight years. However there is one that is somewhere near the middle of the next block up from mine, and it has been quite noticeable for the last month or so. Today it is so strong I can smell it from my doorstep! Seriously, that's like 600 metres or more!  Shocked


How the police are not swarming all over this one is a mystery to me - the area smell like weed really REALLY strongly!  Like, HOW has nobody noticed this and reported it - and believe me there are loads of nosy neighbours around here!  Huh

WTF!?...  Undecided


If I knew where it was exactly (it's actually too strong to narrow it down!) I would knock on the door and ask to buy some, it's smells like pretty good quality stuff to me...  Grin
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Madasasteamfish
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« Reply #233 on: December 13, 2015, 12:28:36 am »

THIS:

http://www.dobell.co.uk/mens/highlights/christmas-partywear/novelty-collection/

I mean it's all so ghastly, who the flippity flying f**k in the name of all that's holy in Christendom is buying this sh*t? Especially these;

http://www.dobell.co.uk/catalog/product/view/id/53208//
http://www.dobell.co.uk/christmas-holly-days-suit/
http://www.dobell.co.uk/gangstaclaus-slim-fit-christmas-novelty-suit/

Even looking at them makes me want to rip out my eyes and pour salted bleach into the blood and pus weeping holes left in my face screaming 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you people?!'
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« Reply #234 on: December 13, 2015, 05:54:36 am »

I don't know - I rather like the snowflake one;D

However, if anyone showed up on my doorstep wearing the full suit, the doorstep is as far as they'd get!

Some of the vests would pass with a subfusc suit, for one wearing only!
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Cora Courcelle
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« Reply #235 on: December 13, 2015, 05:49:36 pm »

'What the bloody hell is wrong with you people?!'

They are childrens entertainers at Christmas (trying to earn a living until the bouncy castle season starts again)
[with apologies to any proper magicians on Brass Goggles]
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #236 on: December 14, 2015, 05:50:20 pm »

THIS:

http://www.dobell.co.uk/mens/highlights/christmas-partywear/novelty-collection/

I mean it's all so ghastly, who the flippity flying f**k in the name of all that's holy in Christendom is buying this sh*t? Especially these;

http://www.dobell.co.uk/catalog/product/view/id/53208//
http://www.dobell.co.uk/christmas-holly-days-suit/
http://www.dobell.co.uk/gangstaclaus-slim-fit-christmas-novelty-suit/

Even looking at them makes me want to rip out my eyes and pour salted bleach into the blood and pus weeping holes left in my face screaming 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you people?!'


They look like a pack of ****ing clowns. Now maybe just maybe you could have one novelty waistcoat in your wardrobe but then there is the "usage" issue. It'll get trotted out what? Once a year, every year and after the second-third year it becomes; "that Christmas waist coat."

It stops being an item of clothing and becomes that "thing you do". 20 years later one Christmas eve you trot the ****er out and realize your Christmas day attire has become some kind of strange side show. Your no longer you at Christmas you are a gag. You don't even like the sodding thing, the joke has grown on you like some sort of horrific festive cancer.

No these spur of the moment, date specific purchases are psychological BAD NEWS and should not be entertained. And that's just one waist coat. The entire suit can properly **** off.

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Clym Angus
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« Reply #237 on: December 14, 2015, 06:04:46 pm »

Or you invite her to EFF, next year.
Thats not an option! I always go with my father and its one of the few moments we get some together time that lasts longer than an hour. I think I would dissapoint him greatly if i suddenly brought my mom. I dont want that, it would make him feel sad and unwanted and also destroy a part of eff thats dear to me as well. Mom doesnt realise this and only says i use my dad to go to events. That is incorrect, I go to events with my dad because he enjoys them too and would become a social hermit if I disnt drag him along now and then.

Yes, please remove your hat...

and then hit your mom with it.   CheesyWink

She would get really angry and destroy said hat beyond repair and then hit me really hard. Like that time she caught me reading at night and said shed burn my book and hit me so hard it left a mark when I started crying because I didnt want her to burn said book.


Ask her what she wants you to be and how she thinks acting in this way will help you become it.

She clearly has a plan that requires you not reading in bed and her dictating how you dress within certain perimeters. Ask the questions that are the natural conclusion of this course of action. Ask her about her parents, did they restrict her dress in any way? When did they relinquish control over her image? Was she happy when they did?

If she flies off the handle about having her perspective re positioned (most people do) then remind her that your merely asking questions. I can see your scared of her, you do have to realize that she only has the power that you relinquish. Oh and don't for god sake let her read this. Smiley
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Alexis Voltaire
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« Reply #238 on: December 15, 2015, 10:51:27 am »

It stops being an item of clothing and becomes that "thing you do". 20 years later one Christmas eve you trot the ****er out and realize your Christmas day attire has become some kind of strange side show. Your no longer you at Christmas you are a gag. You don't even like the sodding thing, the joke has grown on you like some sort of horrific festive cancer.

Cheesy

May I steal this for my sig please?
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #239 on: December 15, 2015, 04:28:54 pm »

It stops being an item of clothing and becomes that "thing you do". 20 years later one Christmas eve you trot the ****er out and realize your Christmas day attire has become some kind of strange side show. Your no longer you at Christmas you are a gag. You don't even like the sodding thing, the joke has grown on you like some sort of horrific festive cancer.

Cheesy

May I steal this for my sig please?

If you find it to fit you snugly then it would be an honor. I was going a bit "off on one" I was 5 cups of wicked strength coffee down on the day and channeling daemons as a result. Smiley
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ForestB
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Lady of the copper frogs


« Reply #240 on: December 16, 2015, 03:52:00 am »

My annual Christmas song WTF, working retail I have no choice in the music I am exposed to, but it would be much better if "Baby It's Cold Outside" was not part of the lineup. That song gives me the creeps. Who decided that it was romantic to include the line "Hey what's in this drink?" And then you listen to the rest of the lyrics....just ick.
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« Reply #241 on: December 16, 2015, 08:07:42 am »

My annual Christmas song WTF, working retail I have no choice in the music I am exposed to, but it would be much better if "Baby It's Cold Outside" was not part of the lineup. That song gives me the creeps. Who decided that it was romantic to include the line "Hey what's in this drink?" And then you listen to the rest of the lyrics....just ick.

Is that on Bill Cosby's 'greatest hits' album?... Tongue


Christmas time, Rohypnol in wine,
Police investigating all of the time,
With clothes in the fire and wiped CCTV,
Time to abuse the unconscious you see...



AH,  what would Christmas parties be without roofies?

SAFER !
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Alexis Voltaire
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Shàlle We Dànce?


« Reply #242 on: December 16, 2015, 11:53:07 am »

It stops being an item of clothing and becomes that "thing you do". 20 years later one Christmas eve you trot the ****er out and realize your Christmas day attire has become some kind of strange side show. Your no longer you at Christmas you are a gag. You don't even like the sodding thing, the joke has grown on you like some sort of horrific festive cancer.

Cheesy

May I steal this for my sig please?

If you find it to fit you snugly then it would be an honor. I was going a bit "off on one" I was 5 cups of wicked strength coffee down on the day and channeling daemons as a result. Smiley

Thanks. It's still making me crack up. Grin
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #243 on: December 16, 2015, 12:09:22 pm »

Oh, by Jehosaphat!  I've said it all along that this day would come.  Do you think that having to pay for tap water or buying bottled water is being ridiculous? Absurdity of the modern world?  Well, now a Canadian startup is selling BOTTLED AIR in China.  YES BOTTLED AIR!  Soon all of us will have a monthly bill for a fresh supply of air directly to our flats and homes.  If you don't pay your bill on time you and your loved ones will asphyxiate, " a la Total Recall."

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/15/asia/china-canadian-company-selling-clean-air/

The Canadian firm markets it's bottled air under the name of "Vitality Air," and the healthy gas is extracted directly from the Rocky Mountain city of Banff.  Roll Eyes  In their website they proudly proclaim "We are the next bottled water." The air sells for $14 to $20, depending on the size of the canister.

Via BBC:
Quote
Moses Lam, who is based in the city of Edmonton, says he makes the four-hour journey to Banff once every couple of weeks and spends 10 hours bottling the air.
"It's time consuming because every one of these bottles is hand bottled. We're dealing with fresh air, we want it to be fresh and we don't want to run it through machines which are oiled and greased," said Lam.



"Congratulations! You've Just Taken The First Step To Enhancing YOUR Vitality!  Oxygen In a Can! Helps to boost oxygen content in your body!"


http://vitalityair.com/
« Last Edit: December 16, 2015, 12:23:22 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged

Drew P
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« Reply #244 on: December 16, 2015, 01:19:57 pm »

Sounds like someone who needs to be oiled and greased with some added sand.
but, of course, people will probably buy it.
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Clym Angus
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Lord of Misrule


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« Reply #245 on: December 16, 2015, 02:07:25 pm »

My annual Christmas song WTF, working retail I have no choice in the music I am exposed to, but it would be much better if "Baby It's Cold Outside" was not part of the lineup. That song gives me the creeps. Who decided that it was romantic to include the line "Hey what's in this drink?" And then you listen to the rest of the lyrics....just ick.

The track was of it's time (1944). That song won an academy award. Times change and what was once romance now sounds a bit coercive.   
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Madasasteamfish
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09madasafish
« Reply #246 on: December 16, 2015, 02:10:02 pm »

Oh, by Jehosaphat!  I've said it all along that this day would come.  Do you think that having to pay for tap water or buying bottled water is being ridiculous? Absurdity of the modern world?  Well, now a Canadian startup is selling BOTTLED AIR in China.  YES BOTTLED AIR!  Soon all of us will have a monthly bill for a fresh supply of air directly to our flats and homes.  If you don't pay your bill on time you and your loved ones will asphyxiate, " a la Total Recall."

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/15/asia/china-canadian-company-selling-clean-air/

The Canadian firm markets it's bottled air under the name of "Vitality Air," and the healthy gas is extracted directly from the Rocky Mountain city of Banff.  Roll Eyes  In their website they proudly proclaim "We are the next bottled water." The air sells for $14 to $20, depending on the size of the canister.

Via BBC:
Quote
Moses Lam, who is based in the city of Edmonton, says he makes the four-hour journey to Banff once every couple of weeks and spends 10 hours bottling the air.
"It's time consuming because every one of these bottles is hand bottled. We're dealing with fresh air, we want it to be fresh and we don't want to run it through machines which are oiled and greased," said Lam.



"Congratulations! You've Just Taken The First Step To Enhancing YOUR Vitality!  Oxygen In a Can! Helps to boost oxygen content in your body!"


http://vitalityair.com/


Too late, it's already been done (in a galaxy not far away enough)
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MWBailey
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rtafStElmo
« Reply #247 on: December 16, 2015, 08:02:48 pm »

Yuck.
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #248 on: December 18, 2015, 05:53:44 am »

Oh. This is so stupid.

Darth Vader gives away bride.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-35128340
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Alexis Voltaire
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Shàlle We Dànce?


« Reply #249 on: December 18, 2015, 09:48:30 am »

Oh. This is so stupid.

Darth Vader gives away bride.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-35128340


I dunno, I think that couple was exceptionally lucky to find mutual love with someone that shares their interests to that degree.

*secretly wants a nerd wedding if the right person is ever found*
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