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Author Topic: Yes Virginia There Are A Santa Claus: A Yuletide Alternate History  (Read 653 times)
chicar
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Canada Canada


Student in Techno-Shamanism and Lyncanthrope

Chicar556
WWW
« on: December 14, 2014, 11:23:13 pm »

This thread is here to list real life consequences if Santa Claus actually existed (note to late bloomer: yes he actually doesn't , sorry you learned the truth this way).

-Licences and brands won't exist and every non-vital needs will be provided and customised by Santa's Workshop.

- We will live in a draconian utopia where Krampus swept away mankind's worst off each year , leaving only minor *(?%) (who get away with only a lump of coal and a disapointed look) to human justice.
 
- Social evolution will be speeded by the fact the nice and naugty list will be the foremost moral authority. For instance, if Santa reward more slaves than slavers , or more homosexuals than homophobics, or more enviromentalists than oil tycoons, or more pagans than witchhunters (because, off course, remembering his roots , Santa is not a christian-only service) .


More  ideas ?
« Last Edit: December 14, 2014, 11:25:22 pm by chicar » Logged

The word pagan came from paganus , who mean peasant . Its was a way to significate than christianism was the religion of the elite and paganism the one of the savage worker class.

''Trickster shows us how we trick OURSELVES. Her rampant curiosity backfires, but, then, something NEW is discovered (though usually not what She expected)! This is where creativity comes from—experiment, do something different, maybe even something forbidden, and voila! A breakthrough occurs! Ha! Ha! We are released! The world is created anew! Do something backwards, break your own traditions, the barrier breaks; destroy the world as you know it, let the new in.''
Extract of the Dreamflesh article ''Path of The Sacred Clown''
Atterton
Time Traveler
****

Only The Shadow knows


« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2014, 11:28:17 pm »

At least steampunks will see it as a positive thing to get a piece of coal in their stockings.
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Resurrectionist and freelance surgeon.
Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2014, 11:36:08 pm »


 Elves would have their own union
 Reindeer would require regular health checks and regulated hours
 All toys would have to come with warnings
 Santa would have to face astronomical insurance bills
 Santa would have to maintain a team of lawyers and face endless legal claims for assorted roof damage and plastic pieces lodging where they shouldn't.
  

 Not to mention all that child knee sitting  and mid night bedroom visiting  would get him into  no end of trouble with allegations, high profile negative media attention and possible court  action.
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Alexis Voltaire
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


Shàlle We Dànce?


« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2014, 04:38:58 am »

Trying not to break the forum rules, but I could see this having interesting political PR implications.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How humanity as a whole would function with having a universal moral yardstick (albeit one that only works on a yearly review basis.) is also interesting to ponder.
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~-- Purveyour of Useless Facts, Strange Advice, Plots --~
Hurricane Annie
Zeppelin Captain
*****
New Zealand New Zealand



« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2014, 06:04:22 am »

Trying not to break the forum rules, but I could see this having interesting political PR implications.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How humanity as a whole would function with having a universal moral yardstick (albeit one that only works on a yearly review basis.) is also interesting to ponder.



 New Zealand {a country born into steampunk} is giving coal to politicians this year.

 Feel free to leave a comment.
http://www.3news.co.nz/nznews/protesters-to-give-national-mps-coal-for-christmas-2014121507#axzz3Log7pl2u

Protesters are intending to deliver lumps of coal with Christmas cards to National Party MPs today to highlight climate change issues.
Youth activist group Generation Zero says it will visit the offices of 14 National MPs around the country.


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