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Author Topic: Small towns laughing stock :'(  (Read 3703 times)
Miss Indigo Darling
Officer
***
United States United States


Adventuress


« Reply #25 on: April 28, 2014, 03:46:28 am »

I so understand where you're coming from, and I'm glad you found us here.


 Even though my city is relatively cool, there's still that conformist mentality going on. In the suburbs people just jeer stupidly, but in my neighbourhood now,  being too noticeable can cause a lot of trouble, especially for women. The art museum is across the street from my building, so today I went to the  very first Steampunk exhibit we've ever had here, and I had to attend under low profile steam because there are gangsta freaks in the park, and they strut around the museum grounds intimidating people. Security is unarmed, so they can't do much except call the cops. Where I live is the murder capitol of Massachusetts. For real. Gang violence out of control.

It's sad that people are so insecure in themselves that they feel like they need to call out somebody else for just being themselves, or are such vicious predators that the moment someone comes into their field of vision they actually notice they have an overwhelming sick need to do some harm.
I got less trouble for being an old school first generation Punk rocker than I get now for being seen around here under full steam.  It was probably all the chains.

I bet you look absolutely lovely, My dear.  Keep on being your beautiful self. Hang in there. Someday you may find yourself in a more accepting place.
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"Of all the fishes in the sea, my favourite is the bass. He climbs up on the tall sea weed, and slides down on his hands and knees."
MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #26 on: April 28, 2014, 04:57:09 am »

I too am a mother and my youngest absolutely loves steam punk attire. She refuses to leave the house without her goggles  Shocked
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Herbert West
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Director of Preternatural Research, Arkam Museum


WWW
« Reply #27 on: April 28, 2014, 09:58:51 am »

Some people are just born bullies, and will sometimes go to ridiculous length to single others out as different. Its unfortunate in the young, but unforgivable in adults. So yes, best to simply blow off the silly boors.

I do hope one day you'll be willing to share photos of your look with us Misty.
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"I'm not a psychopath Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research!" ~Sherlock Holmes
creagmor
Zeppelin Captain
*****
South Africa South Africa



« Reply #28 on: April 28, 2014, 11:29:23 am »

I usually am quite shy around people I don't know, but while I was still living in the US I began and going to Ren Faires and began interacting with people on my way to and from the events changed all that. Also I even wear my kilt whenever I get a chance. I still am shy around strangers but not regarding what I wear.     
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“Love is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional is opposed to that cold true reason which I place above all things.” Sherlock Holmes, in The Sign of Four.
Clym Angus
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lord of Misrule


WWW
« Reply #29 on: April 28, 2014, 05:17:21 pm »

I have the small saving of living in London, which is fairly forgiving. That said, stray into the wrong place at the wrong time and you'd make your self a neon target for flack. I wouldn't let them change you if you can possibly help it. There are enough of them already.

Taking that into account the low nagging pain of constant background hostility is not good for the health or the soul. This is a rock to the sea situation; each wave of hostility is coming at you fresh, you however are the same rock.

I feel it would be psychically restoratory to locate some fellows in, (if not your immediate vicinity, your country by its nature is vast) or around you. Maybe find a place where people with an eye for history might gather. A sanctuary is what's called for from the unending sea of tee-shirts and jeans barely containing the deep fried attitude beneath.

May I also take this opportunity to apologize for my fellow man, they never fail to disappoint.

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Corroded Alloy
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Wales Wales


JacobTheunissen
« Reply #30 on: April 28, 2014, 11:57:13 pm »

Well done for dressing the way you feel regardless of the mockery.  I too wear what I like and feel comfortable in.  I also make my own garments.  When I read your post it reminded me of some of the horror films I have watched. I did not know that these people actually existed in real life.  I believe that these people will find fault no matter what you do or how you dress.  I live in a tiny rural village where everybody knows everybody’s business but thankfully there is a lovely spirit here and I am very much accepted.  People are impressed when I tell them I made my own outfit.

I have always been extremely shy but I refuse to let fear of disapproval from other people dictate how I dress.  A greater fear I have is being too old, frail and ill to do the things I am afraid to do now and regretting never doing them.  The buzz I get from striding about with my frock coat flaring out and some of the positive comments and experiences I have encountered, in the end, outweighs the anxieties and doubts I continuously suffer from.  When there is laughter and mockery I say over and over to myself “I don’t need anybody’s approval.” I already believe that this is so but I have to continuously remind myself of the fact and when I do the laughter seems so irrelevant.
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Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when used properly.
MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #31 on: April 29, 2014, 02:38:40 am »

Well done for dressing the way you feel regardless of the mockery.  I too wear what I like and feel comfortable in.  I also make my own garments.  When I read your post it reminded me of some of the horror films I have watched. I did not know that these people actually existed in real life.  I believe that these people will find fault no matter what you do or how you dress.  I live in a tiny rural village where everybody knows everybody’s business but thankfully there is a lovely spirit here and I am very much accepted.  People are impressed when I tell them I made my own outfit.

I have always been extremely shy but I refuse to let fear of disapproval from other people dictate how I dress.  A greater fear I have is being too old, frail and ill to do the things I am afraid to do now and regretting never doing them.  The buzz I get from striding about with my frock coat flaring out and some of the positive comments and experiences I have encountered, in the end, outweighs the anxieties and doubts I continuously suffer from.  When there is laughter and mockery I say over and over to myself “I don’t need anybody’s approval.” I already believe that this is so but I have to continuously remind myself of the fact and when I do the laughter seems so irrelevant.


Hear! Hear! My friend! Here's to living at our hearts content!!  Wink
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MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #32 on: April 29, 2014, 02:41:19 am »

Some people are just born bullies, and will sometimes go to ridiculous length to single others out as different. Its unfortunate in the young, but unforgivable in adults. So yes, best to simply blow off the silly boors.

I do hope one day you'll be willing to share photos of your look with us Misty.

Well, if I knew how to post multiple photos I would gladly share. :'
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Herbert West
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Director of Preternatural Research, Arkam Museum


WWW
« Reply #33 on: April 29, 2014, 04:05:29 am »

Well thats certainly easy enough. Visit a photo hosting site like Photobucket, upload your images directly there, then link then here to us using the Insert Image tab.
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Drew P
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


« Reply #34 on: April 29, 2014, 05:02:59 am »

...and don't forget to use the 'preview' button before hitting 'post' to make sure you used the correct link. Grin
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Never ask 'Why?'
Always ask 'Why not!?'
Captain
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.


WWW
« Reply #35 on: April 29, 2014, 05:15:03 am »

http://blog.estately.com/2014/04/the-nerdiest-states-in-america/  Maybe it is time to move to where the cool people live. 

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-Karl
MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #36 on: April 29, 2014, 07:19:53 am »

Lol I was born in Cali, moved freshman year to Utah. After h.s I moved here to Ark.. Cry
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Flightless Phoenix
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



WWW
« Reply #37 on: April 29, 2014, 08:53:43 am »

Wear what makes you happy and ignore them, because at the end of the day you are always going to be 'different' from people who do not share your interests and to paraphrase something I once read; If you are going to be weird, you might as well be good at it.

I pride myself on how good I am at being weird, and in fact hope to make a career out of it. Yes, I may have to apologise occasionally to other cemetery researchers for perpetuating the stereotype that only goths study death and burial, but it's totally worth it!

Sounds like you are bringing a touch of fabulous whimsy to a place that sorely needs some! Maybe you'll even inspire some steampunks of the future =]
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cemeteryresearcher.com

'a lighthearted academic blog about funerary practice' - Updates Sundays*

*gremlins permitting
Clym Angus
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lord of Misrule


WWW
« Reply #38 on: April 29, 2014, 10:09:17 am »

Ark eh? Proffering such illuminati as Johnny Cash (the man in black) Bill Clinton and Douglas MacArthur....... so a mixed set. Also the U.S.A.'s largest producer of rice, broilers, and turkeys. I cast no judgements, I just state the facts.

It is also possible that you may need to put your individuality in a way that the good folk will understand. Preach the good word of American individuality. Tickle the xenophobia just a little?

(the following statement is an Example of how putting things in a certain way which might enable you to find some common ground. I could be way off base here, this may not work. It depends on your audience)

To dress like you is patriotic, to make your own cloths is patriotic to buy things from walmart a place that sources it's clothing internationally isn't doing the American balance of trade any good. It's not locals peoples fault, the government has forced them to cow down by granting international companies cheap land and strangling local producers and makers. As a patriot and proud American you feel there is another way, but it takes sacrifice, it takes looking a little different. The South has a rich and proud history, we should all take the best and leave the rest, to build a better future for our children. So they have a choice of what to wear and how to look. Not have it all dictated to them, dictate by tyrant, money, or government; the source doesn't matter, it's still tyranny: this is not North Korea, this is America.

Why do you look different? Because your proud to be American, That's why.

They don't currently get you. Maybe they just need 'your look' to connect to something they do care about.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2014, 10:58:12 am by Clym Angus » Logged
frances
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #39 on: April 29, 2014, 07:15:18 pm »

I hope that you manage to get to events where other people dress the way they want too.  This will help to give you the courage to keep dressing the way that you want, and not the way that is dictated by society.

Long before I discovered steampunk I decided to only wear long skirts.  Everyone else was wearing short skirts but I was comfortable, felt I looked good and so have been confident to keep wearing them, summer and winter.  Now the fashion round here is to wear skin-tight tights with no skirts.  By golly do the ladies look silly.  But that is their business, I just smile quietly and wonder what other silly fashions are going to pop up next.
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #40 on: April 30, 2014, 06:20:39 am »

Um, I'd be careful with the "Walmart is not being American" angle; contrary to current popular belief, Walmart as we know it had its beginnings as a chain of three  larger-than-normal variety stores in a certain town in, of all places, Arkansas, the head proprietor being one John Walton, a local resident in that town.

Over time it has grown to be the burgeoning multinational conglomerate that it is. That may be part of the reason why the Walmart employee who attacked you was so vehement. Some people revere the late Mr. Walton, others malign him, but everybody in the state who have reason to remember him or the chain's early years have some kind of opinion, usually strong ones; so I'm just saying, be careful how you go.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2014, 06:23:16 am by MWBailey » Logged

Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
Plutus Sar
Officer
***
United States United States


« Reply #41 on: April 30, 2014, 02:29:40 pm »

Misty,

I know what you mean.  I live in a small town in Kentucky – which is not far from Arkansas in many ways (a lot of this is philosophical outlook).   Both my wife and I are relatively shy, and tend to try and not draw much attention to ourselves in most instances.   My wife does have her hair dyed purple, but generally we stay low-key.

However, we live near to two large cities, and though we use caution near home (small town, 5,000 population) when we go out on the weekend we do what we want.  There is an Independent movie theater there, and be are often the most conservatively dressed!  There are also funky restaurants and coffee places, where our dress draws compliments, not rude comments.

I am in my early 50’s and my wife just turned 50, so we are not spring chickens!  My wife just retired from federal service– in a conservative office - we also have also had that hanging over us.  Drawing over attention can hurt a career in some instances.  Fortunately, where I work is extremely liberal, and there is one lady here how sports a decided Steampunk look daily – she is well respected, it hasn't hurt her career at all.

I don’t know if visits to larger cities could be a possibility for you, but if so, you’d be surprised who you might meet.  In our forays out we've met some people who live fairly close to us, but who have decided not to buck local convention.  Not a lot of us about, but more than you would think.

All I can say is to stay strong, and live the life you want.  However, with that said, I know small town rural U.S. – being careful is not a bad plan!

Plutus
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"The problem is not that I was born in the wrong time, but that I should have been born in a time which has never existed..."
MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #42 on: April 30, 2014, 03:59:59 pm »

Thanks everyone. I wish we had conventions and fairs as such here. Unfortunately, we do not. The only places close by that would are Louisiana and Texas. I have only traveled to Louisiana once and never have been to Texas. I never have time to travel. Nor do I have anyone to travel with. I don't have any "girlfriends" at all. No one to "go shopping" with or do all those fun thiings that girls do together. Here, women despise me. The menfolk adore me. I have guy friends but all are married now or have gfs. Although I have an extremely feminine appearance, I am extremely tomboyish. I.e. I wear jeans under my skirt when I go fishing. I put worms in one pocket and chicken livers in the other. My hooks I stick in my hat. My weekends consist of bonfires, beers, BBQ, videogames, fishing, gardening, and kinfolk. I would love to have a girl friend or two as I did before I moved here. Things are just so incredibly different.
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Drew P
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


« Reply #43 on: May 01, 2014, 01:46:40 am »

May I be so bold as to ask your reasoning for moving to there?

Just curious. Embarrassed
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MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #44 on: May 01, 2014, 02:00:27 am »

Family. When my step grandma passed away my paw paw asked us to be closer. Which is a good thing. Most recently my aunt and uncle were in the mayflower/ vilonia tornado and all the family, aside from my brothers, are all here to help. If I lived away I probably wouldn't have been able to be here. Strange how life works.
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Herbert West
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Director of Preternatural Research, Arkam Museum


WWW
« Reply #45 on: May 01, 2014, 07:08:01 am »

Well, FWIW, we're behind you 100%.
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MistyDawn
Gunner
**
United States United States


M. Chansamone
« Reply #46 on: May 01, 2014, 07:10:12 am »

Thank you Smiley very very much!
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IGetPwnedOften
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger hammer


« Reply #47 on: May 20, 2014, 09:03:06 pm »

I generally find that if people catcall and such, they're looking for a "victim" response - they want you to get angry or frightened (or both). A good way to deal with this is smile and wave and give them a bright and cheery "Good morning!" as if you're greeting an old friend. If they continue after that, just politely but firmly ignore them but you'll find most will shut up once they realise they aren't going to get the response they need. I say 'need' deliberately, because in harrassing others, they try to hide from their own low self-esteem and insecurities.

Most bullies will bully others because they're afraid of being bullied themselves.

I've also found this useful during potential 'road-rage' incidents - if people do something silly while driving and start getting aggressive, I blow kisses at them. I usually find that having a 6' 4" hairy bloke blowing them kisses is enough to defuse most situations, especially as it's usually men who get into these situations  Wink
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"Geoffrey, take their coats. No, not up the tree..."
yereverluvinunclebert
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



WWW
« Reply #48 on: May 21, 2014, 08:07:30 pm »

I've been wearing titfers and tweed since 1977 when I was mere sixteen year old. Waistcoats, Duckers brogues, patches on the arms and ankle length leather coats, long after these fashions went out the window and way before the term steampunk was coined to justify any wearing of these apocrypha.

To my mind I always justify my dress sense by simply stating that 'my' fashion hasn't changed, it is the world that has done the changing. In that period I have seen glam rock and punk disappear, new romance, suits and boots come and go, track suits, shell suits, trousers worn low showing half an arse, old ladies prescription boots (uggs) and worst of all tea coseys for hats. All these styles look equally stupid, it is just the people who wear them don't realise how dim they look until after the decade has come and gone.

When you get used to the idea that the world has changed, not you - it can make the whole thing easier. You are in the right, you are simply sticking to one style regardless of what the world is currently doing. Remember fashion is pointless and as long as you are going to continue to wear Victorian apocrypha and aren't doing it to be 'fashionable' then you can almost justify believing that you are in the right of it...

I suppose we have the luxury of looking out of fashion ALL the time, it is a state of perpetual bliss once you get used to it.
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Steampunk Widgets and Icons of Some Worldwide Repute
creagmor
Zeppelin Captain
*****
South Africa South Africa



« Reply #49 on: May 22, 2014, 06:09:54 am »

@ ForestB: ah yes, a stay at home mom. One of the most important, yet least appreciated jobs in the world. It is you women who have - to a very large degree - the awesome responsibility of shaping the future. I only hope that your family, and others, value your efforts sufficiently, and that all of you mothers out there had a great Mother's Day.

I was a single dad for almost twenty years (mostly during his teen years) and know that it can be quite a job. Looking back I can rejoice in the fact that he turned out pretty darn good, in *spite* of my many blunders. 

Respectfully submitted,
Ian S. 
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