Dragon Tamers - A room for those of us with anxiety / depression / etc

[walking stick]

I'll just arrange my Pre-Raphaelite gown (one does not have to wear a corset with the antique waist) and settle in with my goats milk and a plate of macaroons.

To answer the questions so far:- 
I am taking anti depressant and I have an assessment for the depression fairly soon.  I've appealed the  Atos decision I am getting allowance until the next stage.  Me and my healthier sister (she too has medical concerns) are very upset by our helplessness.  She goes from very supportive to sniping within the space of a sentence, it gives me a sort of mental whiplash.  I'm probably just as hurtful to her in my way, although neither of us intends to be. I'm scared and trying to appear like I'm coping, mostly I feel like a veneer of normal over an absolute mess.

 

[Capitan Diavolo]

Walking stick...

I don't want to bank the psychologist, but from what you said about your sister in the latest post, seems to me she is a candidate for that "Bi-polar" thing...

Hope I'm wrong, and I wish you and your Family to come out of your problems ASAP.

A friendly tap on your shoulder!

[walking stick]

No, she's just stressed by the helplessness.  She still tells me what to do big sister style, particularly when she is genuinely worried.  Since there is very little that we can change by our actions she gets more bossy over little things. 

My sister with cancer told the family her prognosis last week.  As I live in, I've seen her at all hours but my oldest sister had only seen her when she had time to prepare.  This means it was a shock, even with updates on what was happening she hadn't really known all of how serious it is.
 
Even with cancer my sister (who has asked me not to give names on the net) does not like fuss and is determined to live as normally as possible for as long as possible so she doesn't complain much.  She sees my health problems as valid but my oldest sister just sees the cancer so it's not surprising that I got snapped at.

[frances]

Sadly families are not the cosy supportive environment that the British Government thinks they are.  It is a dream.  Families are made of different personalities, each with his/her own agenda.  Human beings are all flawed to some extent - well I have not yet met a perfect one yet, excluding oneself of course.

[Capitan Diavolo]

Walking Stick...

I have no words to describe how sorry I feel for your sister. From your words I can understand she is a very brave end courageous Lady.

I know how do you and your Family are feeling right now, as we  (I mean I and my Family) went recently trough something similar.

asked my Wife for permission to post a link to a post she did on another forum we both are members, wich was about a very close and beloved person -practically a Family member - that passed away recently.

This is only to let you know that you and your Family are not alone, and that we feel very close to you, spiritually speaking.

Please recieve our really tight, strong and frendly - no... brotherly!! - hug and simpathy. If you need to talk, for whatever reason, please PM us (me or my Wife Lara)...

 http://www.mission4today.com/index.php?name=ForumsPro&file=viewtopic&t=17924

A big special hug to your sister. Have Faith!

 

[walking stick]

Thank you for your thoughts.  Although the chemotherapy did not clear the cancer no one knows exactly what will happen when.  It's one of the less common forms so there is no average to work from.  Understand also that my older sister is a loving relative, being powerless to help is painful for her.  I have various useful tasks as live in companion which softens the feeling of helplessness. Still I cry a lot right now. 

[Madasasteamfish]

I feel myself strangely drawn back here with my current mood.

Normally I don't struggle that much with my depression* and during the day I can at least create a facade of normalcy (it tends to strike late at night when I'm laid awake in bed and it's often a sudden plummet which fades within an hour or so). But for some reason it seems like I've just been wandering around in a grey fug of depression for the past couple of weeks and nothing seems to help, even good news, and the promise of future positive developments only offer a temporary pick up, if that and this is pretty rare/non-existent occurrence for me (I've noticed it happen once before and only once)/

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*For reasons of clarity and out of respect for those here who DO suffer from clinical depression I feel I should point out I've never actually been diagnosed with any form of medical or clinical depression and neither have I been prescribed any form of medication or treatment related to it, but I do occasionally suffer from quite violent mood swings which often have a terrible effect on my psyche.

[Arabella Periscope]

I really wish it were possible to stay in this dimly lit and warm place with the tea and the comfort food and the sympathetic shadowy figures.  It would be a healing atmosphere for Walking Stick's sister, too.  And all thoughts of job interviews and money worries would be left at the door!

[walking stick]

One of the things I find comforting here is that there is an infinite capacity for whimsical thoughts.  I immediately read shadowy figures and this came to mind.  "Now do a lady with a parasol,  can you do a dirigible, and, oh  of course, the rabbit with the twitchy nose.  Then I thought  "Not too dimly lit, several people here are reading."

[Arabella Periscope]

Some of the shadowy figures are certainly creatures.  (I am not sure what the lumpy one with the brass tentacle is, but he's a peaceable fellow and the banjo is quite tuneful).  They remind me of the Shetland Island technique of warming near-drowning victims who had become dangerously frozen; they put them in hay between two reclining cows, which gradually warmed them back to life.  Sometimes a small dog with a high metabolism on your feet can be very comforting.  Or a big dog with a nice head in your lap.

[Alexis Voltaire]

*Sets down a plate stacked with french toast, a bowl of cream cheese spread, a small pitcher maple syrup, and a plate of various sliced fruits.*

Thought you might enjoy sharing some of what I'm having for breakfast.

*Returns to Lurking*

[frances]

A very big furry dog by one's side and a purring cat on ones knees.  Ahh!

[walking stick]

Those with pets and/or currently in animal form suitable couches with food and water bowls are over there.  Those with allergies or other reasons not to be over there can come and sit on this side of the main fireplace.

[CorneliaCarton]

Anxiety attacks suck.
*sits in a corner on a chair with legs close to chest, finding it hard to breathe*

[Camellia Wingnut]

My Dear,
Unless you are allergic, a certain ladylike shape in (faux) fox furs will approach and deposit in your arms a plain, perhaps rather stout, marmalade tabby cat called Paddington.
Presently, a quiet, peaceful, gentle purr will begin to reverberate next to your heart. Your breathing will slow until it follows the lazy rhythm of the sound. The warmth and utter relaxation of the (rather stout) form will soak into your muscles.
You will then accept a slice of Victoria sponge and a cup of tea with a dash of brandy in it, 'dash' being a vague measurement somewhere between a teaspoon and half a cup, depending on circumstances.
You may even fall asleep in one of the cashmere-draped hammocks provided in the dimmest corner of the room.
Sweet Dreams!
Great-Aunt Camellia

[Arabella Periscope]

Here.  Wrap this around you (offers chenille blanket in soft heather colors.)  You can let Fluster curl in your lap if you are able to lower your knees in a minute -- she is a hypoallergenic Maltese teacup terrier, and those black eyes that always look as if she is weeping are just a sign of her sympathetic and nervous disposition; she is trembling a little at the moment because she needs comforting too and will start to give off contentment and heat as soon as she warms up and feels safe.  Oh, and here is a cup of -- I don't know what it is, but the French toast lady made it and it smells very heartening.  And someone is lighting a candle that is said to give off a spicy, clove and orange, pomander-like scent that is the essence of home.  Breathe deeply.   Everyone will tiptoe away now until you feel ready to speak.

[walking stick]

If you want friends we're here.  If you want to be alone, we have lovely comfortable spaces for that and when you want friends, human, animal, current or former shape changer, alien or eldritch being, I'm sure you can find them here.  By the way, the macaroons here are first rate.

[Capitan Diavolo]

Did you mention macaroons, Walking Stick? Pasta? WOW! Where are the dishes? I would like one... 

With a glass of wine, please....

[MWBailey]

*scritch, scritch, sound of foolscap page turning, scritch, scritch*

*the tentacle snags the banjo and draws it into the shadowy space. Soon, the lovely, plunketty strains of the Westphalia Waltz , played softly on a tackhead banjo can be faintly heard from beyond the curtain and pile of furs*

*the tune stops in mid-swing, a scritchetty writing sound is heard, and then the tune resumes, then stops again*

Hmmm... no, this A goes here, and there's no "F" here... Rest, rest, brush to "G"...Blast, I need my hands for this bit.

The man-shaped shadow with brass tentacle emerges and goes to the wardrobe, and dons the human form once more, returns to the shadowy space behind the bookcase, and resumes playing the banjo softly and scritching away on the music paper*

[Arabella Periscope]

Faint nostalgic humming and murmured reminiscences of a dance in an orchard under a full moon may be discerned from a distant and Tiffany-lamp-lit niche.  Journal-unearthing sounds occur.  Dust billows from niche.  Dessicated petals drift upon it.

[CorneliaCarton]

Thank you to all for the support. I just get a little panicky sometimes at the notion of being home alone.
*cuddles Paddington and chews on a macaroon*

[Arabella Periscope]

Dear Capitan Diavolo,

When you have eaten, do have a nap by the fire.  No one will rouse you until you are sane again.  Then send your dear wife for some sustenance and a nap while you take care of the little tyrant who now rules your kingdom!  (Bless him forever.)

Love,

Arabella

[Madasasteamfish]

I don't know why but for some reason I've just been feeling melancholic today, hopefully my mood will pick up before work tomorrow morning.

[frances]

sniff, sniff.  A drift of salty popcorn wafts past.

Mmm, who is eating popcorn?  Can I have a handful please.

[Alexis Voltaire]

Here...

*hands over a segmented bowl filled with plain popcorn, buttered popcorn, kettle corn, and carameled corn.*

Fresh from St. Louis, which as far as I've found has the best kettle corn on earth.