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Author Topic: Dragon Tamers - A room for those of us with anxiety / depression / etc  (Read 137012 times)
Flightless Phoenix
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« Reply #400 on: July 11, 2014, 12:50:35 am »

Glad to hear it! Sometimes a little boost makes a big difference. Go forth on your mighty quest with a lighter heart and know we are all behind you =]
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cemeteryresearcher.com

'a lighthearted academic blog about funerary practice' - Updates Sundays*

*gremlins permitting
SeVeNeVeS
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« Reply #401 on: July 11, 2014, 05:28:50 pm »

Funny how an oncoming birthday can re-kindle nightmares of days long gone, but not forgotten.....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Here's to my Fifty on the next month...... Cheers!

~SeVeN~
« Last Edit: July 11, 2014, 05:30:27 pm by SeVeNeVeS » Logged

J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #402 on: July 11, 2014, 06:22:05 pm »

Funny how an oncoming birthday can re-kindle nightmares of days long gone, but not forgotten.....
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Here's to my Fifty on the next month...... Cheers!

~SeVeN~



Oh!  How romantic....  I think  Undecided  Huh  So do you have brown spots or grey spots?   Grin

And there she was, basking in the sun, wearing a lovely green gown.  Wearing my best spotted robe, I lovingly approached her from the side and bit onto her side dragging her to the bedroom...  Left a ginormous hickie the next day but she didn't complain...


PS.  Happy B'day mate!
« Last Edit: July 11, 2014, 06:29:40 pm by J. Wilhelm » Logged

MWBailey
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« Reply #403 on: July 11, 2014, 09:36:51 pm »

*Plays something romantic*
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rovingjack
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« Reply #404 on: July 12, 2014, 01:14:04 am »

grumble grumble. as much as I don't like not knowing things I dislike finding out that reassurances given to me are mistakes due to not having the data yet to know for sure.

I don't like having my emotions toyed with. and I even less like the idea of having to possibly undergo more testing if somebody screwed up the first round.
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Rose Inverness
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« Reply #405 on: July 14, 2014, 05:50:25 am »

Glad to hear it! Sometimes a little boost makes a big difference. Go forth on your mighty quest with a lighter heart and know we are all behind you =]

Rock ON!!!! Sentiments seconded. Smiley 

I, too, had a boost of hope this past week while visiting a favorite location. I got to thinking, I'm SO relaxed there, it's a quieter pace with several activities I love within shouting distance, maybe I can find a job and move there. It would get me out of my parents' house, give me a sense of personal competency and purpose, and I'd get to decorate my own place.... I would like that.

It's not happened yet, and might not be reasonable nor possible, but I could give it a shot. I'm looking for jobs up there, as a starting point. Wish me perseverance!!

~The Slippers and Elegant PJ's-clad Rose
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That delicate forest flower,   
With scented breath and look so like a smile,   
Seems, as it issues from the shapeless mould,   
An emanation of the indwelling Life,   
A visible token of the upholding Love,   
That are the soul of this great universe.

~William Cullen Bryant

Trains to Steamtown, this way...
MWBailey
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"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #406 on: July 14, 2014, 11:03:00 pm »

Wish me perseverance!!





So wished, and good luck!


*plays Goin' down to Cairo (or, Black Them Boots)...*
http://youtu.be/6Xmku25LryY

(Sorry, I can't take vids right at the moment).
« Last Edit: July 14, 2014, 11:05:59 pm by MWBailey » Logged
Madasasteamfish
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09madasafish
« Reply #407 on: July 14, 2014, 11:55:59 pm »

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the well wishers here (I suppose I should have done it sooner).

Here's hoping I can get an interview and a job offer soon (I've probably applied for more jobs in the past week than I did in the previous month which I suppose shows how much an effect it's had on my psyche)  Grin. Then again, the company I'm dealing with (who are in fact a subcontractor for the actual company who have been given the govt. contract) have offered me more help in the past fortnight than the job centre has in all the time I've been signing on.

Then again, it seems I've been lucky by being assigned to company with an office who's manager actually gives a toss and who obviously wants to help people, as opposed to a company which is just in it for the money. Now my biggest challenge is down to living in a part of the country which has been screwed over several times times in the past 30 years and nothing is being done to resolve those problems which means I'll almost certainly have to move somewhere else, but at the same time I can't afford to move somewhere else without the promise of a job.
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I made a note in my diary on the way over here. Simply says; "Bugger!"

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."
CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #408 on: July 17, 2014, 11:21:58 pm »

Why must society deem the person who ends their relationship as the bad guy in every instance? If I wasn't afraid of the repercussions,  I'd have done it. Ended it. Because I am just not feeling it anymore. *sighs and thunks head off of the table she is sat at* can't someone do it for me? I know that's the cowards way out,  but I'm a coward. I hate confrontation, I hate being the bearer of bad news.
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Ginny Audriana Irondust Moravia. Pleased t' meet ya.
Madasasteamfish
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09madasafish
« Reply #409 on: July 17, 2014, 11:54:24 pm »

Why must society deem the person who ends their relationship as the bad guy in every instance? If I wasn't afraid of the repercussions,  I'd have done it. Ended it. Because I am just not feeling it anymore. *sighs and thunks head off of the table she is sat at* can't someone do it for me? I know that's the cowards way out,  but I'm a coward. I hate confrontation, I hate being the bearer of bad news.

I know that feeling. I felt the same when I ended things with my ex-gf, I didn't want to, and felt terrible for even considering ending things, but eventually we met up and I just said I wasn't feeling things anymore and couldn't see us going on together without wrecking things. We've stayed good friends but part of me still regrets doing it and I do miss having someone, but I just couldn't see us carrying on together. As unhelpful as it sounds the best way to deal with it just is build up the courage and do it. You'll feel a lot worse for not doing it and actually making that break may well help you.

Oh, and never forget, we'll never judge anyone else here. We're all here because of our own problems and issues and we'll all be willing to offer a sympathetic ear, or a shoulder to cry on if you need it, but here you can remain free of judgment and worry.

The only advice I'll offer is to take some time to yourself and seriously think about ending your relationship, and if you can deal without them being there for you.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #410 on: July 18, 2014, 12:03:05 am »

The last time I ended a relationship,  that person attwmpted suicide. Who got the blame? I did.
Is it bad that I'm hoping he cheats on me so I can show him no quarter? Like ripping off a band aid.
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Madasasteamfish
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09madasafish
« Reply #411 on: July 18, 2014, 12:18:42 am »

The last time I ended a relationship,  that person attwmpted suicide. Who got the blame? I did.
Is it bad that I'm hoping he cheats on me so I can show him no quarter? Like ripping off a band aid.

No it isn't. And more importantly you shouldn't blame yourself for what someone else did. Okay, you ending your relationship may have pushed them over the edge, but, even if you hadn't ended your relationship they probably still would have attempted suicide (sooner rather than later). Speaking as someone who themselves struggles with depression I can tell you the survival instinct is a complete b*tch (I'm not afraid to mention that it's the only reason I haven't tried committing suicide yet, as close as I've come to it). It's also (quite reasonably) the reason why suicide attempts are taken so seriously and act as a really big warning sign relating to mental health problems, if you can actually ignore that voice in the back of your head saying 'don't do it!' Then you have some serious problems. Not to mention the fact that it isn't one thing that makes you want to do it, I mean that one thing may bring you down in a serious way, but it's the huge long list after that one thing that makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge or open up an artery.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #412 on: July 18, 2014, 12:21:40 am »

I'm just afraid of the repercussions of doing so. I don't want to,  ut I know I have to. Doesn't stop me from wishing that he will give me a reason to end it.
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frances
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« Reply #413 on: July 18, 2014, 01:14:15 am »

Is there a possibility that the other person would like to end it too?  Maybe you could engineer an opportunity (like a picnic in the park) to open up to each other.  Then the ending is mutual and noone is to blame.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #414 on: July 18, 2014, 01:19:36 am »

Nope. As far as he is concerned,  I am "the one".
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Ada Thorold
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« Reply #415 on: July 18, 2014, 02:52:50 am »

Cornelia, I have been in your shoes and it is so difficult. In my case it wasn't that I feared what he may do but that he was my best friend (regardless of my waning romantic interest) and I could not bring myself to hurt him. I can't offer any quick fix because there just isn't one but I tore myself into little pieces trying to make that relationship last longer than it should have done and ripping of that band aid was the only way to start rebuilding myself.

I wish you my heartfelt support and best wishes.

~A~
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Nyte
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« Reply #416 on: July 18, 2014, 03:12:53 am »

Slips in, loads a plate with chocolates, only the darkest, and a large urn of tea with sugar, and a cup, then slips into a shadowed corner with a comfy chair to try not to sob too loud

Evening all.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #417 on: July 18, 2014, 03:24:26 am »

It's not his reaction that I'm afraid of. It's his family and friends that I'm afraid of.
Also, I am afraid of what he could do, because I know him. I know how he would react. He would drink himself into a coma, start smoking again, and take up the destructive habits he gave up when we started dating. I know he would. And I don't want to feel responsible for that.
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walking stick
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« Reply #418 on: July 18, 2014, 09:37:51 am »

Perhaps start looking for someone who is an ideal fit with his personality.  If you act as his best friend more than his girlfriend maybe the friendship can grow in a new direction. You might be the person who introduced him to his future wife.
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Arabella Periscope
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« Reply #419 on: July 18, 2014, 10:04:01 am »

Evening, Nyte.

Would you care for a visit from the consolation deerhound on duty this evening?  He's a trifle smelly, but has very sympathetic eyes, and knows all about being an architect of chaos.

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Brian:'Oh yes, I forgot. It's fairly easy, old boy.
Elle a des idees au-dessus de sa gare.'
Kenneth: 'Idiot.  It's not that kind of station.'

Terence Rattigan 'French Without Tears.'
CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #420 on: July 18, 2014, 10:25:57 am »

Can't someone do this for me? Seriously. This is making me ill.
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Fairley B. Strange
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« Reply #421 on: July 18, 2014, 11:27:52 am »



[pauses in a night-run through the woods outside the garden] Oh, it's been a great week. You try to tell people that they need to adjust their scheme to fit the limits of the policy that they set up, but Noooo... if it wasn't for a lot of kilometres and a bit of stuff needing to be blown up getting me out of the office, I'd probably have a forehead-sized dent in my desk by now.

Well, I don't know about taking any boyfriends off your hands - I'm probably not his type, I'm more at home with my own company or a good dog. Have you thought about becoming a bit 'high-maintenance' or suddenly start talking about having lots of kids, whichever is more likely to press the wrong-button for this guy? [scritches the neck of the Duty-deerhound] Hello, boy, aren't you a shaggy one? How about a long lap through the woods? See if we can scare up some rabbit-stew? Uh-huh, yeah,lets go...
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« Reply #422 on: July 18, 2014, 01:32:55 pm »

Hello,

since my post in the Gahhh thread I've had some nice comforting reactions there. So I thought it would be a good idea to join this specific thread.

Both my wife and I are having a depression right now. At least, we are both acknowledge it. We've had our fair share of bad luck (and then some). We've always believed that one doesn't get more bad things in ones life, than one can handle. A positive attitude towards mayor and minor setbacks, but now we are falling from that believe.

Slowly but surely we've both spiraled down towards a depression. For both of us it started with being tired, forgetfull, procrastinating, aggitated and comfort eating. The stress that comes with it, also had physical problems. With me, my stomach acted up, resulting in vomitting and diarrhea.

Whenever my wife feels down, she wants to eat junkfood. Especially chocolate and cookies. She has had that habbit for as long as she can remember. I haven't until we've started living together. I never buy chocolate or cookies, but I do eat them. Part because I like it and part to prevent my wife of eating it. I know it's no use, because when the cookies are gone, she's going to buy more. Due to inharriting this habbit, I've gained a lot of weight. Resulting again into an upset stomach.

Last week we went to the social worker who helped us with the process of our last deceiced son. After vacation, we are getting councelling.

Meanwhile, I have one more week to work. It's going to be a 3 week summer shutdown. Not just for our company, but also all our contractors and customers. Before vacation, everyone wants to have all work done, so this week is stressfull. Right now, I'm consiounsly concentrating on every feeling I have. Letting bad feelings slide and absorb and hang on to good feelings. This morning, before work, I went to a nearby forrest to relax. At that time of the day, there is nobody there, but me, some Highland cattle and a few deer. I had my photo camera with me. It feels as if it helps. Less anctious, less stressfull.

At home, we've started a long overdue spring cleaning. A clean enviroment brings a clean mind. There are a lot of chores to do at home, but for now we are focussing on cleaning up the place. Due to our spiralling down to depression, we've reached a point where the house was littered with junk and candywrappers. We where embarresed to have anyone come over. Our almost 5 year old daughter one day started cleaning up her toys, vacuming with her toy vacumecleaner. We've praised her for it and she answered:"thanks, I just want to have a playfriend to come over and this place was a mess."  Grin
That really woke us up. Since then we've kept the livingroom and kitchen clean, so she could have her friends come over. The other rooms are starting to get cleaned up. Last weekend it was the bedrooms. Daughter's reaction:"Now I can have a sleepover!"  Cheesy

Besides that a clean house is nice to have, it's also theraputical to clean. One is picking up stuff from the past, so the mind sometimes wonders off to the past. Recalling the bad stuff and remembering how one got out of that, helps to get into that positive mindset. One room that my wife has avoiding is our sons bedroom. Or what should have been their bedroom. Both our sons have died before they could enjoy life. Our first son died about 45 minutes after birth, the other one was aborted. They both had a kidney malfunction where their kidneys grew multiple cysts. Therefor they didn't make embriotic fluid, therefor the lungs couldn't develope. They both are burried nearby. They where laid out in their little caskets, in their cradle, in their room. So that room has a lot of bad memories for us.

The practicle plan for the room is to turn it into a spare room for hobby stuff. Right now it's used as a storage room. First up is cleaning the entire house, then the bathroom ceiling, then the sons room. I think it would be the mental and physical icing on the cake of picking up life and out of depression.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #423 on: July 18, 2014, 02:59:47 pm »

Exhaustion, acid reflux, headache. All symptoms of stress and anxiety for me.
I'm going to end it today with my fiancé. I don't want to, I really don't. But I need to think of me and what I have to deal with. My past is too screwed up. I need to deal with it before I can even think about being in a relationship. Wish me luck. And pray that we both make it to the other side.
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Madasasteamfish
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09madasafish
« Reply #424 on: July 18, 2014, 03:23:10 pm »

Exhaustion, acid reflux, headache. All symptoms of stress and anxiety for me.
I'm going to end it today with my fiancé. I don't want to, I really don't. But I need to think of me and what I have to deal with. My past is too screwed up. I need to deal with it before I can even think about being in a relationship. Wish me luck. And pray that we both make it to the other side.

Good luck, as painful as it will be at first, it will help you both feel a lot better once you've got past the initial pain, and of course, we're all here to offer any help you may want/need.
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