So sorry,Admiral, about your grandfather *solemn salute with hot chocolate* he lives on in you.
Thank you dear Arabella.
I have not heard a word from my uncle on the "Wake" though.
I was hoping he would last a bit longer such that I could show him that I had recovered financially, as he carried the burden of having left the business mess to me, but I guess 92 was long enough.
His passing was not unexpected at his age, but it definitely has ruined my mood and drained my energy and I should be a lot more upset, but oddly I'm maintaining a fairly even keel.
My mother on the other hand, she pretty much fell apart. My mother carries the guilt of not having come to see him last year and knowing that my grandfather died alone at the time. Having abandoned me after her divorce as a 19 year old girl, and not being psychologically able to be close to her family (or any other person for that matter) is a fact that is finally taking a toll on my mother, which explains her reaction.
When my grandmother passed away, my mother was in the hospital along with myself, my grandfather and many other people, so she died surrounded by family.
My father having left us since I was a baby, and re-marrying later on, grew horrendously hostile - and would even say twisted toward my grandfather, whom he irrationally blamed for his own failing as a father and a husband, not realising that any blame only lied exclusively on them as an extremely young couple when I was born. I would never call and tell my father about my grandfather's passing, unless I want to see my father cheering at my grandfather's death - at which point I don't know what I would do to him. I was very lucky to have been raised by my grandparents. God knows what would have happened otherwise.
I'll see how it plays out, but I can't tell my mother how to live her life. She still has too much will and rebelliousness in her. She will have to be alone for a few more years, until she mellows enough to be able to share close space with other people close to her (you see, she has this severe reaction toward "perceived "control" by others - the closer you get the more she will react, hence she's always alone). The problem is that such rebelliousness will come back to bite her later on.
