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Author Topic: Dragon Tamers - A room for those of us with anxiety / depression / etc  (Read 133278 times)
Camellia Wingnut
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Take my camel, dear. . . .


« Reply #225 on: April 25, 2014, 10:01:32 pm »

Now, Gentlemen. Do not passively adopt the modern myth that extraversion is equivalent to normality, or, indeed, that normality is the most desirable of states. Introverts dwell in a richly-furnished world - very like this Room - with every claim to be as significant, and much more creative, than simple physical activity and participation in superficial social events.
Jung said: "There is no birth of consciousness without pain." Think of it as your personal path of evolution.
C.W.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2014, 10:07:49 pm by Camellia Wingnut » Logged

Take my camel, dear, said my aunt Camellia, climbing down from that animal on her return from high mass. The camel, a white Arabian Dhalur (single hump) from the famous herd of the Ruola tribe, had been a parting present, its saddle-bags stuffed with low-carat [sic] gold and flashy orient gems, from a rich desert tycoon. . . .
Arabella Periscope
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Edwardian summer


« Reply #226 on: April 25, 2014, 10:12:29 pm »

Sorry, gentlemen, it is getting a little melancholy in the inglenook over there.  Try some of this oatmeal with maple syrup and red pepper.  It is heartwarming after you recover from the first shock.  The suffering may be left with the pain for a timeless interval outside the six-inch thickness of the oak door, which was hewn from a ship of the Armada, winning side.  The parents and grandparents and incredibly shortsighted employers are out there too, with the wolves.  We can stay in here waiting for our Prozac to take effect on our PTSD or our panic or our despair, and not be in the modern world at all.

  I was not meaning to be frivolous about shopping.  It was more about creating and casting forward into the future a fully realized vision of what you want to be into the world which may then recognize you.  Or buying a ream of paper or a box of paints or a jumble of old brass marine fittings or antique fabrics and making something from your own world.  In deep depression once I bought some colored inks and a mapping pen and some onionskin paper, and it helped a lot.  I mapped an island.

  And Prozac is not a drug, it is a medicine.  It does not suppress lust, it brings it back.  After eight weeks or so, if it stops your brain from inhibiting the flow of its own natural endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with feelings of wellbeing, you begin to feel that you are coming back to your real self again, like waking up on a sunny morning after a nightmare.

Suffering, after the fact (at the time it has no redeeming element at all MAKE IE STOP!!!) is inevitable.  A beautiful painting has to have shadows.  I thought Michaelangelo put those sooty shades in his Sistine Chapel ceiling and it was a dreadful mistake to clean them off, thinking they were dirt.  They were carefully added tones for depth and meaning, and without them it is a flat cartoon.  But I digress.  Have some porridge.  It is good.
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Kenneth: 'If you're so hot, you can tell me how to say she has ideas above her station.'
Brian:'Oh yes, I forgot. It's fairly easy, old boy.
Elle a des idees au-dessus de sa gare.'
Kenneth: 'Idiot.  It's not that kind of station.'

Terence Rattigan 'French Without Tears.'
CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #227 on: April 26, 2014, 05:34:29 am »

It's not lust I feel. It's the easy way out. Not having to fight these feelings of just, well, nothingness.
The feeling of wanting to end my relationship is most certainly linked to the depression.
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rovingjack
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« Reply #228 on: April 26, 2014, 05:51:37 am »

I don't recall saying word one about introvert or extrovert. Making room for the the worlds input in your course is not about having contact with anybody. It's simply that nothing you do occurs in a vacuum and when the butterfly flaps his wings...

The less tightly you grip your goals and expectations and the more you work on readapting unexpected results the better you will find things. Because while I've had my share of adventures in life that are to be cherished, not one of them came out as I expected and in many cases I'm glad because what I expected was missing some of the best parts that resulted. In some of those the best parts were not immediately obvious.

As an example one of the persons I value most in my life, I would never have met her had I not first lived in another place where the person with whom I split living costs had not been paying the rent forward but stealing it for himself, and physically attacked me on one occasion. It took years between the two things but had That living situation been sustainable and things resolved differently I would not have moved here, would not have shaken another 'vampire' off of me, not have met three very good people I shared living space with and met a young lady who I would have to say my life would be poorer for having not met.

And the things I shared with her reawakened dreams I'd set aside 'for a bit' years before and they'd been forgotten. Casual comments made by her stirred curiousity in me to go explore things that lead me to appear on national and international media, and meet most of my current friends in the area.

When things were going bad it was hard to see beyond that moment but knowing as I do from events like that before, I learned to ask myself what opportunities could this lead to. I just had to allow life to write the chapter that changed the scene and know that right then I didn't have control of events, but I did have control over how I interpreted them and eventually how I applied myself to using them to further my own story once the tumult was resolved.
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Fairley B. Strange
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« Reply #229 on: April 26, 2014, 06:46:23 am »

It's not lust I feel. It's the easy way out.

Well, that's hardly likely to be a effective line for picking-up baristas.   Cheesy

Sorry to drop in like that, but I tend to use humour to keep the black-dog distracted. Either that or I drag it outside on a leash and run it ragged through physical exercise, hence I sometimes jog through here but don't often stop for company. It usually works for me, or at least it makes me a much fitter and healthier depressive. My personal circumstances prevent trying the modern chemical solutions beyond green tea and light beer, so that - plus a lot of other random things elsewhere on BG etc - keep things rolling.
However, I'd tend to follow Ms Periscope's advice re Prozac etc. Keep going - the darkest bit is starting out where you get enough of an impetus to be able to rouse yourself to do something and the levelling-out when it fully kicks in - that's where a lot of people become unfortunate statistics because they've had the energy to do something regrettable in the new twilight before the full dawn when they can fashion a better long-term answer.
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« Reply #230 on: April 26, 2014, 08:37:38 am »

A lanky figure is walking outside, over the field and couple of hundred yards away from the bungalow.

Admiral wilhelm stares at the wolves.  "Peh!  It's nothing compared to the hounds*,"  he mutters to himself.  "I bet you could take care of more than a couple, eh?" He speaks toward his back.

The cold winter air has given way to the mild winds and sprinkles of Spring.  The pain of his own survival paints his well tanned face.  From having his own ship he now has to content himself with having a place to sleep.  That doesn't prevent the hounds from searching me does it," he mumbles to himself.  "If they just knew the hounds are real. If they had stared down -even once- at the red and purple throat of one of those demon dogs."

Walking on the meadow, he looks back toward the tall grass... Into the distance, toward a low point in the meadow there is a body of water, like a small lake or large pond.

"Larry! Don't fall to far behind.  I know you're brave but you're still quite small.  You can't fight them alone,"  he yells.  "Well maybe you can - with a few of your friends, for sure, but I don't want to encourage you," he mumbles to himself.

"Meoooowrr!," growls some creature from behind the grass.  Not quite as delicate as a cat's meow.  Oddly more like a large cat's roar and distinctively feline, yet the acute timbre of its voice definitely betrays his small size; that is the sound of a much smaller voice box.

The admiral adjusts his hat and his woollen coat.  Re-lights his pipe and take a puff.  Takes a deep breath in the morning air and ponders whether to go into that cabin in the field.  With it's black wolves going round and round relentlessly.  The scent of food escapes into the air...  Smells of the type of food he never eats.

 "That might be reason enough to go in" he thinks.  At this point his stomach begins to think for him, for in the last year or so he has seen so little of it. Precious food.

He's not scared of the wolves.  He's seen so many and his latest voyage took him to places where wolves would be considered nice pets.  Rather,  if anything, he's more scared of the people inside.  With their own lives and all.  Even envious of their food.  

The admiral had never been a people person, something which had typecast him into a very lonely role.  A defining characteristic embedded in his brain since early childhood.   He could be pushed into commanding a few hundred men with no problem.  And was fine with public speeches.  But personal relationships, well, that was a real challenge for the old admiral, particularly his relationships to women, the latter having eluded him all his life.

"Peh!," he scoffs.  "Wolves...  Peh!"

"Meahoowrr" The fierce little creature, hidden behind the bushes has killed something.  "Perhaps a squirrel or a bird.  Who knows? He certainly will be capable of much bigger prey." the admiral ponders while looking at the lake on the opposite side of the meadow.  

The scent of food get's stronger.  "Jeez!  Maybe they transformed it into a restaurant.  Last I looked it was more of a refuge.  More like a hole in the ground" he thinks.

"Laaarry! ...Larry! Don' get too dirty now!"

"Meoorrw!"


*Ref. The Hounds of Tindalos
« Last Edit: April 26, 2014, 09:27:46 am by J. Wilhelm » Logged

CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #231 on: April 26, 2014, 11:10:49 am »

My main worry about the prozac is the side effects. The nausea, acid reflux. My worst fear is throwing up. I have such a terrible phobia of vomiting.
But Gods that pill feels like it's stuck in my throat....
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4_0_4
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« Reply #232 on: April 26, 2014, 03:20:50 pm »

I don't recall saying word one about introvert or extrovert. Making room for the the worlds input in your course is not about having contact with anybody. It's simply that nothing you do occurs in a vacuum and when the butterfly flaps his wings...

The less tightly you grip your goals and expectations and the more you work on readapting unexpected results the better you will find things.

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”  Bruce Lee
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" You can lose every battle except that last " Sir Malcolm , Penny Dreadful
Arabella Periscope
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Edwardian summer


« Reply #233 on: April 26, 2014, 09:19:47 pm »

Really, Cornelia?  I have never known anyone else with emetophobia, or fear of vomiting.  That is my trigger for panic attacks and always has been, since as a child I was taken on Atlantic crossings in ocean vessels.  The terror of nausea, choking, suffocating, panicking, blacking out and dying. . . . I knew others in the Dragon Tamers had secrets, but I am glad to meet a fellow sufferer. On the positive side, the side effects will be better than a Victorian corset for the 17-inch waist should you wish to cultivate one. Try concentrated cola syrup on ice for nausea; it works very well.  Keep calm and carry on!


Admiral, your canines are not worse than ours, they are very much of the same species.  You just can't see all the shimmers from the dark dimensions around the door here.  But they cannot get in.  You can.  There is everyone's type of comfort food here, even -- GAG -- chorizos.  Your tale of woe will find sympathetic echoes from every dim and consoling niche.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2014, 09:23:52 pm by Arabella Periscope » Logged
J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #234 on: April 27, 2014, 12:01:41 am »

"Larry!  We gotta go now!  We're going in"

"Maw!" The little creature replied, dragging with some effort a dead duck through the marshy grass...

"Larry, we can't take that"

"Maaahow"  Larry lamented, depositing the dead duck on the ground.  With a full bleach blond mane and short orange fur and yet about the size of a large cat, this was no cat, but rather a white specimen of a highly social species of lions, known as micopanthera Leo, also known as Piranha Lion*.  A diminutive cat-like lion which hunts in swarm-prides of 20 to 100 individuals.

"We can't take it with us. There will be food in the cabin.  We have to make it through the wolves. I want to distract them through the flank.  Get down through the marsh and attack from the left."

"Maw" Larry replied, and quickly darted into the marshy grass.  It didn't take much more for Larry to understand.  Curiously this creature possesses a surprising ability to understand the spoken word. He had done the same maneuver a thousand times.

Wilhelm took a plasma gun out of a side holster from under his coat.  He had no wish to kill a wolf, but would not hesitate to do so at the slightest provocation.  "At least these are standard four-dimensional wolves" he thought.  "They can be killed."   Larry could take care of himself.

As he approched the cabing a loud growl could be heard, and the pack of wolves darted to the left.  In true suprise attack fashion Larry darted at high speed right in the direction of the wolves, which temporarily startled the pack.  With impressive speed Larry pounced on the face of the alpha male.  Wilhelm could hear the painful yelp from from the wolf.  Vicous growling esued as the other wolves tried to snatch Larry.

To no avail the wolves tried.  After one minute or so, the wolves has not captured their tiny prey.  Quite the contrary, the small m. Leo would run an pounce directly at the face of his opponents.  With no fear at all it would jump from the face of one wolf to the next, while the wolves' reflexes were simply too slow for Larry. The sharp claws of an m. Leo are truly legendary, like the teeth of the Piranha.  Half the time Larry would aim for the eyes, blinding his opponent in a truly vicious manner.  Some of the wolves could be seen circling and yelping in pain, with blood streaming down their faces.  Dragging their snout through the ground as if trying to get rid of the sharp pain that just wouldn't go away, and undoubtedly blinded by the attack.

Larry repeated the same action at least a dozen times.  One by one, about half of the wolves went out of commission, grinding and yelping in circles,  while the rest of the pack were still in hot pursuit.  Wilhelm took aim from a distance and shot near the now blinded alpha male wolf, thinking while looking through the gun's scope that Larry would have made that wolf completely inviable as a leader already.  

After the show Wilhelm had drawn all the attention to himself.  Some wolves turned toward Wilhelm as if to run, but did not leave as the alpha male was still circling and yelping on the ground.  They rest who were not harmed looked confused and buzzed around the dead alpha as if waiting for orders.   Wilhelm then short two, three four times into the ground, deliberately not killing any wolves, and every single time creating a blast on the ground which sent dirt and rocks for at least five yards.

The wolves began a retreat and disappeared into a line of trees behind the cabin, and Wilhelm ran into the cabin.  "That's enough Larry!  Let's get in!

Like an orange bolt of lighting Larry shot through 50 yards along edge of the marshy grass toward the East. Wilhelm saw something hanging from Larry's mouth and Wilhelm hoped that the little trooper would be alright....

Really, Cornelia?  I have never known anyone else with emetophobia, or fear of vomiting.  That is my trigger for panic attacks and always has been, since as a child I was taken on Atlantic crossings in ocean vessels.  The terror of nausea, choking, suffocating, panicking, blacking out and dying. . . . I knew others in the Dragon Tamers had secrets, but I am glad to meet a fellow sufferer. On the positive side, the side effects will be better than a Victorian corset for the 17-inch waist should you wish to cultivate one. Try concentrated cola syrup on ice for nausea; it works very well.  Keep calm and carry on!


Admiral, your canines are not worse than ours, they are very much of the same species.  You just can't see all the shimmers from the dark dimensions around the door here.  But they cannot get in.  You can.  There is everyone's type of comfort food here, even -- GAG -- chorizos.  Your tale of woe will find sympathetic echoes from every dim and consoling niche.


No my dear, these are no hounds of Tindalos, for the ones I speak of are not bound by the laws of Euclidean space, and thus Larry would be of no use in such a situation.

As for nausea, I experienced nausea repeatedly when treated with Vanlafaxine.  In my case, nausea indicated to me that I was actually hungry!!  I would eat and the nausea would disappear.  That and "hot hands" is what I remember, as the first few days of treatment were punctuated by an inexplicable raise of temperature in my body that affected mostly my hands.  I do no suppose that Prozac, being a completely different genus of medicines will have the same symptoms; however, if its of any help, it has been confirmed that short of medicines developed for cancer patients, the best way to combat nausea is simple powdered ginger capsules.  According to laboratory trials (as well as the Myth Busters  Grin ), ginger tablets are noticeably more effective than Dramamine.




* micropanthera Leo aka Piranha Lion: (Picture and Video)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,24935.msg562624.html#msg562624

« Last Edit: April 27, 2014, 12:42:27 am by J. Wilhelm » Logged
Alexis Voltaire
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« Reply #235 on: April 27, 2014, 12:30:20 am »

[snip] With a full bleach blond mane and short orange fur and yet about the size of a large cat, this was no cat, but rather a white specimen of a highly social species of lions, known as micopanthera Leo, also known as Piranha Lion*.  A diminutive cat-like lion which hunts in swarm-prides of 20 to 100 individuals.

This sounds like the most lethally adorable thing ever. Grin
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #236 on: April 27, 2014, 12:43:37 am »

[snip] With a full bleach blond mane and short orange fur and yet about the size of a large cat, this was no cat, but rather a white specimen of a highly social species of lions, known as micopanthera Leo, also known as Piranha Lion*.  A diminutive cat-like lion which hunts in swarm-prides of 20 to 100 individuals.

This sounds like the most lethally adorable thing ever. Grin

Indeed it is (I hid the picture and a video in a spoiler.  Guaranteed to get rid of your wolves (must be canine 4-dimensional wolves though)
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #237 on: April 27, 2014, 12:34:30 pm »

Really, Cornelia?  I have never known anyone else with emetophobia, or fear of vomiting.  That is my trigger for panic attacks and always has been, since as a child I was taken on Atlantic crossings in ocean vessels.  The terror of nausea, choking, suffocating, panicking, blacking out and dying. . . . I knew others in the Dragon Tamers had secrets, but I am glad to meet a fellow sufferer. On the positive side, the side effects will be better than a Victorian corset for the 17-inch waist should you wish to cultivate one. Try concentrated cola syrup on ice for nausea; it works very well.  Keep calm and carry on!


Admiral, your canines are not worse than ours, they are very much of the same species.  You just can't see all the shimmers from the dark dimensions around the door here.  But they cannot get in.  You can.  There is everyone's type of comfort food here, even -- GAG -- chorizos.  Your tale of woe will find sympathetic echoes from every dim and consoling niche.

I found ginger tea helps with the nausea. But I woke up this morning with a feeling in my guts. It felt like sludge moving around in there. That was day one. Day two, today, is not any better and I still feel icky. Blech.

And yez, I suffer from etemophobia. It was because I caught a stomach bug when I was roughly 8 years old. Was ill for two weeks. I've had a solid fear of throwing up ever since. I can remember what it felt like. Horrible. So whenever I think for a second that I may be sick, I panic.
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frances
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« Reply #238 on: April 27, 2014, 10:49:26 pm »

I knew a chap years ago who had the very same thing.  He deliberately used to go out dancing so he would have to meet people and face up to his phobia.  It never did go away, but he had a blast of a social life.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #239 on: April 29, 2014, 02:32:21 pm »

I HATE people who say the way to get over depression is to stop hating yourself. This is a chemical imbalance!
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Clym Angus
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« Reply #240 on: April 29, 2014, 02:50:51 pm »

You don't fight chemical imbalances with words. You fight them with more chemicals. I prefer the natural ones (a metric ton of serotonin can work wonders) but when all else fails one does have to pick your cocktail carefully. The last thing anyone wants is to float through life oblivious. Some of my best ideas come from the upstroke or down stroke from high to low or visa-versa. I think it's the whiplash between optimism into pessimism and pessimism into optimism that truly yield the unique thought. Hell of a cost though.
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Madasasteamfish
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« Reply #241 on: April 29, 2014, 04:09:59 pm »

You don't fight chemical imbalances with words. You fight them with more chemicals. I prefer the natural ones (a metric ton of serotonin can work wonders) but when all else fails one does have to pick your cocktail carefully. The last thing anyone wants is to float through life oblivious. Some of my best ideas come from the upstroke or down stroke from high to low or visa-versa. I think it's the whiplash between optimism into pessimism and pessimism into optimism that truly yield the unique thought. Hell of a cost though.

Now that is strange. Most of my best ideas come at the peaks and  troughs of my mood. Then again that may be due to my brain finding time to relax and forgetting my worries allowing my subconscious to push things forwards when I reach the high point, and the loss of inhibition (probably thanks to my tendency to self medicate with booze) when I'm at the low ebb.
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I made a note in my diary on the way over here. Simply says; "Bugger!"

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."
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« Reply #242 on: April 30, 2014, 03:29:31 am »

I'm trying to avoid the news and the world in general lately just to avoid this feeling

but with things like corporate threats to turn internet into "57 web channels and nothing on" it's infiltrating my refuge. I feel increasingly trapped in a bitter husk of a world just this side of amazing wonders and marvelous prospects and imagined feudal lords condemning us to the life of serf until we die in our fourties laboring to enrich them.

My ability drown my sorrows in comforts and distractions is being taken bit by bit and the placations left to me are shallow and unsatisfying.

I feel like a painter, stuck in a ward without color and without access to canvas or pigment. or a piano player whose arms have been bound behind them and the strings on the piano all cut. and my future feels stuck in this state. It's maddening... and it's depressing.

And it's worse because it's happening to everybody everywhere. I want us to be set free.
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« Reply #243 on: April 30, 2014, 06:41:30 am »

Personally I have yet to build a banjo or any instrument that resembles an ashtray. I've made some really ornate canoe paddles, however...


Yikes, answered a comment on a previous page, apparently.  Out of touch again. oh, well.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2014, 06:50:17 am by MWBailey » Logged

Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #244 on: April 30, 2014, 08:52:02 am »

Personally I have yet to build a banjo or any instrument that resembles an ashtray. I've made some really ornate canoe paddles, however...


Yikes, answered a comment on a previous page, apparently.  Out of touch again. oh, well.

Fill me in again?  Huh Why do we need an "ashtray banjo"?  (Or banjo ashtray?)
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4_0_4
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Hi Forest , hows Fanny?


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« Reply #245 on: April 30, 2014, 12:19:55 pm »

I HATE people who say the way to get over depression is to stop hating yourself. This is a chemical imbalance!

Well thats a dumb statement I agree, but I also know as fact that labels can be just as damaging because ( esp in mentally related conditions )  psychiatry itself has no way of formally diagnosing anything , its not based on any evidence - its all just assumptions that are continually revising them self ( like homosexuality as disease in the 70s )

That said is there a human any more that psychiatry couldnt find a label for ( you know they have labels for conditions they cant even label , right ? )

Have you seen how many people are labeled mentally ill in the US ?

Stats are shocking ..

And you know why ?

$$$$$$$$$$



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MWBailey
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« Reply #246 on: April 30, 2014, 05:03:20 pm »

Personally I have yet to build a banjo or any instrument that resembles an ashtray. I've made some really ornate canoe paddles, however...


Yikes, answered a comment on a previous page, apparently.  Out of touch again. oh, well.

Fill me in again?  Huh Why do we need an "ashtray banjo"?  (Or banjo ashtray?)



It was in relation to the set of comments about failure and the avoidance thereof, something about accepting the lumpy ashtrays (as opposed to the ash-containing masterpieces of creative endeavor, say) as works of art in themselves, or something like that.
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #247 on: April 30, 2014, 06:41:35 pm »

I HATE people who say the way to get over depression is to stop hating yourself. This is a chemical imbalance!

Well thats a dumb statement I agree, but I also know as fact that labels can be just as damaging because ( esp in mentally related conditions )  psychiatry itself has no way of formally diagnosing anything , its not based on any evidence - its all just assumptions that are continually revising them self ( like homosexuality as disease in the 70s )

That said is there a human any more that psychiatry couldnt find a label for ( you know they have labels for conditions they cant even label , right ? )

Have you seen how many people are labeled mentally ill in the US ?

Stats are shocking ..

And you know why ?

$$$$$$$$$$





It's an official diagnosis for me. Three different medical prefessionals diagnosed me with both depression and P.T.S.D and it was further confirmed by ATOS who deemed me unfit for work.
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Madasasteamfish
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« Reply #248 on: April 30, 2014, 06:50:19 pm »

I HATE people who say the way to get over depression is to stop hating yourself. This is a chemical imbalance!

Well thats a dumb statement I agree, but I also know as fact that labels can be just as damaging because ( esp in mentally related conditions )  psychiatry itself has no way of formally diagnosing anything , its not based on any evidence - its all just assumptions that are continually revising them self ( like homosexuality as disease in the 70s )

That said is there a human any more that psychiatry couldnt find a label for ( you know they have labels for conditions they cant even label , right ? )

Have you seen how many people are labeled mentally ill in the US ?

Stats are shocking ..

And you know why ?

$$$$$$$$$$





It's an official diagnosis for me. Three different medical prefessionals diagnosed me with both depression and P.T.S.D and it was further confirmed by ATOS who deemed me unfit for work.

What in the Flip?! ATOS actually found someone unfit for work?  Shocked Quelle Surprise! Shocked

Although good news for you, and a good excuse for the rest of us to have a p*ss up  Grin
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CorneliaCarton
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« Reply #249 on: April 30, 2014, 07:00:52 pm »

I think the fact that I had a break down while I was at the meeting may have helped.
Just means I can focus on getting better.
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