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Author Topic: Dragon Tamers - A room for those of us with anxiety / depression / etc  (Read 91614 times)
rovingjack
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« Reply #1650 on: February 04, 2019, 07:30:07 am »



Truly glad to see this working out so well for you.

Very depressed and alone, myself. Feel invisible. Like no one cares.

I've fallen a bit off the wagon through the holiday season and feel so much inertia getting started again. That and I've changed some of the things I'm doing for a new years resolution and I'm doing great with the resolution but it's making my routine harder to do. so I'm trying again.

anyone who wishes to join me it would be great.

new new routine:
 wake
first 10 minutes- breathing
next 10 minutes  eat 40 grams protein. 2 eggs (12grams) 3oz ground beef (18 grams) 1/2 cup navy beans (10 grams).
20 minutes exercise.
   warm up: stretch, then 3, 15 second warm up sprints. rest 1 minute between each.
   MWF exercise: warm up, then. 30 seconds flat out, rest 4 minutes. repeat 3 more times.
   TThSat exercise: warm up then. strength and explosive exercises.
   Sun exercise: warm up and then endurance/cardio. the full 20 minutes just continuous cardio exercise.

5 minute alternating hot-cold shower

1 hour internet

10 minutes- second breakfast.

2.5 hours work

20 minutes elevensies tea and healthy snack.

work/errands or chores for about 40 minutes

2 hours set aside for learning something (online classes, or studying)

 lunch.

another hour for work- hour shooting video

afternoon tea with healthy snack

about 2 hours tinker/hobby time

half hour for Dinner

1.5 hour hobby, work, or learning time.

household chores

half hour last meal

1 hour social time

evening hour
   20 minutes stretching
   20 minutes meditation/singing
   20 minutes bullet journal/art

sleep.


you may have noticed the hobbit meals in there. The meals and exercise and the showering and breathing are actually all based on scientific studies about optimizing health and fitness. The meals are smaller and more regular, and optimally healthy choices, which will even out blood sugar distribution and energy throughout the day, while not allowing you to get hungry enough that you ever over eat at later meals. the exercise is supposed to benefit vo2 max, and mitochondrial health. It's sort of getting the maximum return on investment of time and exercise.

During work and study periods I'm likely to use a system that is essentially work 20 minutes then switch task for 5 and return for another 20 minutes. Studies suggest that performance dips at the 20 minute mark and continues to decline. but just a 5 minute break means when you return to the task you return with a fresh start and performance again starts it's 20 minute cycle. it also means that with a hard 20 minute deadline and working to the clock can give the effort a boost (you are essentially sprinting). so Ideally I will chunk work or learning in 20 minute increments with the five minute breaks between giving me the chance to reinforce some other learning or check up and fix another work project, or get up and move for a bit etc.

The schedules a bit modular, in that I can move things around as needed. so some days social hour may come early in the day and thus I just swap it for one of the hours. and this also works between days so I may end up with a social day and a work day instead. Feel free to mod to suit your needs.

the main point is to not grind yourself on one mode of existence while neglecting the others and to change up things enough to keep you engaged and allow you to come back with a refreshed mind to work on things again.
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Cora Courcelle
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England England



« Reply #1651 on: February 04, 2019, 07:48:05 pm »



Very depressed and alone, myself. Feel invisible. Like no one cares.


Dear Rose,
 I am so sorry I missed this post and hope you are feeling a little better,  particularly now that winter is passing and spring is sort of on the horizon. I hope you have some good things planned to look forward to.
Please remember to be kind to yourself (virtual hug).
Cora



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You have to tread a fine line between avant-garde surrealism and getting yourself sectioned...
Rose Inverness
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Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1652 on: February 05, 2019, 01:36:48 am »


Dear Rose,
 I am so sorry I missed this post and hope you are feeling a little better,  particularly now that winter is passing and spring is sort of on the horizon. I hope you have some good things planned to look forward to.
Please remember to be kind to yourself (virtual hug).
Cora



Thank you Cora and Rovingjack,

I am feeling a little bit better. I am seeking professional help and even just having that scheduled made a world of difference in my outlook. Hopefully it's as helpful once the appointment happens.

(virtual hug to Cora)

One of the things that's tough right now is many overwhelming things that are new, a big transition. I moved back home finally and some friendships have changed in painful ways, and they've All changed somehow. I'm sorting out where I fit, here. Even in the house I grew up in, space-wise. It's just a lot.

Rovingjack, if I try your schedule to any extent I will let you know. I like the productivity principle mentioned. I agree that it works.

Bless you all.
Rose
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That delicate forest flower,   
With scented breath and look so like a smile,   
Seems, as it issues from the shapeless mould,   
An emanation of the indwelling Life,   
A visible token of the upholding Love,   
That are the soul of this great universe.

~William Cullen Bryant

Trains to Steamtown, this way...
rovingjack
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« Reply #1653 on: February 07, 2019, 06:28:26 am »


Thank you Cora and Rovingjack,

I am feeling a little bit better. I am seeking professional help and even just having that scheduled made a world of difference in my outlook. Hopefully it's as helpful once the appointment happens.

(virtual hug to Cora)

One of the things that's tough right now is many overwhelming things that are new, a big transition. I moved back home finally and some friendships have changed in painful ways, and they've All changed somehow. I'm sorting out where I fit, here. Even in the house I grew up in, space-wise. It's just a lot.

Rovingjack, if I try your schedule to any extent I will let you know. I like the productivity principle mentioned. I agree that it works.

Bless you all.
Rose


sometime just being able to say it all to someone makes all the difference, and sometimes making the commitment to take care of yourself and heal is very empowering. best of luck at your appointment.
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Cora Courcelle
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« Reply #1654 on: February 07, 2019, 03:56:57 pm »

Accepting that things change and that you can have no control over that process is troubling and scary, but you always have a choice about how you accept that change.
 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he' is such a common thread in so many self-help books (and religions) that people tend to dismiss the idea behind the words but I try hard to follow this concept and find it helps me.
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Rose Inverness
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United States United States


Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1655 on: February 08, 2019, 01:41:46 am »


sometime just being able to say it all to someone makes all the difference, and sometimes making the commitment to take care of yourself and heal is very empowering. best of luck at your appointment.

Thank you very much! It DID help. She asked me to tell my life story basically, and we got partway through. Her doing that felt really good, like she really wanted to hear what I had to say. I would like for my offscreen friends to do that...

I am grateful you all in here have cared to hear what I have to say. It Really does make a difference. Thank you!!!


Accepting that things change and that you can have no control over that process is troubling and scary, but you always have a choice about how you accept that change.
 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he' is such a common thread in so many self-help books (and religions) that people tend to dismiss the idea behind the words but I try hard to follow this concept and find it helps me.

Thanks, Cora. Good idea.

I think I downplayed things a little. I was isolated for 6 months, could not leave the apartment, last year due to a terrible persistent reaction to the Danish pollen, which exacerbated a chronic illness that I got while in Denmark. During the whole year I got maybe 4 calls from two friends, and some visits from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. My parents were so kind as to talk to me almost every day on Skype, so that helped a lot. But really I am such an extrovert. I need to be around people much more than that, and talk to people, and see others interact in real life... it helps me get perspective on things.

So transitioning to living here is not just transitioning to living with three people instead of one, or to my country instead of his, but it's actually being able to LEAVE THE HOUSE. and DRIVE A CAR. and be responsible for more than my health.... and try to help my husband get a work permit, driver's license, tend to our medical appointments... etc. I am SO grateful that I can do these things again. That said, it's a lot to take on at once, and yet at first I felt like I couldn't make any impact in any of it. I'm feeling quite a bit better right now! <3

Yet there is a lot of stress around friendships, especially one in particular who has done and said so many inconsiderate hurtful things lately and rarely responds to any messages I send on ANY platform, including the one she said was the best way to reach her. I reach out and get total radio silence from her more often than not, and that has been going on for 9 years. I don't understand it and I'm tired of taking up the slack. Sometimes lately it eats away at me, like what is going wrong in this friendship...? because if I don't know, won't I repeat it? And why lose a friend if there's a way not to? But what is that way? So that is extremely stressful for me, friendships are very important to me.

I did get some good news today about my health and I'm happy about that! I hope everyone else's health is good, and that you find joy in something today.
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #1656 on: February 08, 2019, 09:30:33 pm »


sometime just being able to say it all to someone makes all the difference, and sometimes making the commitment to take care of yourself and heal is very empowering. best of luck at your appointment.

Thank you very much! It DID help. She asked me to tell my life story basically, and we got partway through. Her doing that felt really good, like she really wanted to hear what I had to say. I would like for my offscreen friends to do that...

I am grateful you all in here have cared to hear what I have to say. It Really does make a difference. Thank you!!!


Accepting that things change and that you can have no control over that process is troubling and scary, but you always have a choice about how you accept that change.
 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he' is such a common thread in so many self-help books (and religions) that people tend to dismiss the idea behind the words but I try hard to follow this concept and find it helps me.

Thanks, Cora. Good idea.

I think I downplayed things a little. I was isolated for 6 months, could not leave the apartment, last year due to a terrible persistent reaction to the Danish pollen, which exacerbated a chronic illness that I got while in Denmark. During the whole year I got maybe 4 calls from two friends, and some visits from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. My parents were so kind as to talk to me almost every day on Skype, so that helped a lot. But really I am such an extrovert. I need to be around people much more than that, and talk to people, and see others interact in real life... it helps me get perspective on things.

So transitioning to living here is not just transitioning to living with three people instead of one, or to my country instead of his, but it's actually being able to LEAVE THE HOUSE. and DRIVE A CAR. and be responsible for more than my health.... and try to help my husband get a work permit, driver's license, tend to our medical appointments... etc. I am SO grateful that I can do these things again. That said, it's a lot to take on at once, and yet at first I felt like I couldn't make any impact in any of it. I'm feeling quite a bit better right now! <3

Yet there is a lot of stress around friendships, especially one in particular who has done and said so many inconsiderate hurtful things lately and rarely responds to any messages I send on ANY platform, including the one she said was the best way to reach her. I reach out and get total radio silence from her more often than not, and that has been going on for 9 years. I don't understand it and I'm tired of taking up the slack. Sometimes lately it eats away at me, like what is going wrong in this friendship...? because if I don't know, won't I repeat it? And why lose a friend if there's a way not to? But what is that way? So that is extremely stressful for me, friendships are very important to me.

I did get some good news today about my health and I'm happy about that! I hope everyone else's health is good, and that you find joy in something today.


I've had long time acquintances "ghost me" before. A close college friend from Singapore with whom I kept in contact for meany years, and he used to visit the US on a yearly basis due to his work in theSingaporean Airforce.  I can't understand what I did, or say to make him want to "forget me"!

The most difficult for me has been "ghosted" by my family. Initially I assumed that the death of my aunt in Austin (in-law to my grandparents) might have shocked the family in Austin too much. But then years passed without any return calls or emails, only hearing from them indirectly by way of my widowed uncle, and I realised that they simply didn't care for me at all...

Because of that, combined with political factors (attacked 4 times while walking the street or riding the bus in Austin in 2017 - won't elaborate, PM me if you need more details), and health factors, and combined with lack of employment at my age, last year I started re-evaluating my position here, geographically speaking. And getting depressed because no one wants you or needs you is absolutely pointless.

I came to the conclusion that I'm living in the wrong place. Plain and simple. People who don't want to hear from me, or don't want me around, I should just consider dead, for all practical purposes. I began to look elsewhere and got very exited about the idea of reconnecting with old friends and family I had *gulp* 30 years ago. I have decided to leave as soon as I can, and this year I've started preparations to leave.

I'm just scared because at age 50 I have to start over again from scratch and I don't know anybody. Hell of a time to start again.
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Rose Inverness
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« Reply #1657 on: February 08, 2019, 10:00:55 pm »

J Wilhelm, best luck in your travels. I hope it all goes very well. Where are you headed?
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J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #1658 on: February 09, 2019, 01:41:10 am »

J Wilhelm, best luck in your travels. I hope it all goes very well. Where are you headed?

I don't want to divulge it just yet. I'll hold it as a surprise for my friends at Brassgoggles when you see the flag change and I make some posts. I'll still expect to be right here in Austin the for the remainder of 2019 though. I'm just focusing on getting ready. It's a big move  Wink  I've sent you a PM with the details, though  Grin


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Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #1659 on: February 09, 2019, 01:47:55 am »

J Wilhelm, best luck in your travels. I hope it all goes very well. Where are you headed?

I don't want to divulge it just yet. I'll hold it as a surprise for my friends at Brassgoggles when you see the flag change and I make some posts. I'll still expect to be right here in Austin the for the remainder of 2019 though. I'm just focusing on getting ready. It's a big move  Wink  I've sent you a PM with the details, though  Grin

I have relocation plans ready and waiting - have had for a few years! My life here isn't bad by any means, but there's someplace else I'd rather be, and given the right circumstances, I'm off! Well over 50, though, J. Wilhelm, so don't let age be a major factor in your considerations!
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J. Wilhelm
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Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #1660 on: February 09, 2019, 02:38:52 am »

J Wilhelm, best luck in your travels. I hope it all goes very well. Where are you headed?

I don't want to divulge it just yet. I'll hold it as a surprise for my friends at Brassgoggles when you see the flag change and I make some posts. I'll still expect to be right here in Austin the for the remainder of 2019 though. I'm just focusing on getting ready. It's a big move  Wink  I've sent you a PM with the details, though  Grin

I have relocation plans ready and waiting - have had for a few years! My life here isn't bad by any means, but there's someplace else I'd rather be, and given the right circumstances, I'm off! Well over 50, though, J. Wilhelm, so don't let age be a major factor in your considerations!

I have no choice Banfili! No choice! I did not get to enjoy life as I should have. I could simply fold the tent and say "oh well," but I refuse!

I refuse to be alone and leave Earth never having loved anyone, romantically speaking. I won't let my anxiety disorder win.
I refuse to let my grandfather's failed business drag me down for the rest of my life.
I refuse to let my family treat me as some "second class" member of the family.
I refuse to let greedy corporations stop me from doing what I was born to do.
I refuse to be abused fellow countrymen who don't want me here!

In fact, I am not dead and I have not given up on having a family still. I FULLY intend to do that and age differences in couples BE DAMNED, and anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my you know what!

*raises fist to the heavens*
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Rose Inverness
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Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1661 on: February 09, 2019, 07:28:13 pm »


I have no choice Banfili! No choice! I did not get to enjoy life as I should have. I could simply fold the tent and say "oh well," but I refuse!

I refuse to be alone and leave Earth never having loved anyone, romantically speaking. I won't let my anxiety disorder win.
I refuse to let my grandfather's failed business drag me down for the rest of my life.
I refuse to let my family treat me as some "second class" member of the family.
I refuse to let greedy corporations stop me from doing what I was born to do.
I refuse to be abused fellow countrymen who don't want me here!

In fact, I am not dead and I have not given up on having a family still. I FULLY intend to do that and age differences in couples BE DAMNED, and anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my you know what!

*raises fist to the heavens*

Hear, hear! Let's all refuse to give up, shall we?

Also, for any among us (myself included) who are feeling in any way 'invalid', I've come across this most lovely endorsement of our ritual in this room: https://www.mimimatthews.com/2019/02/05/tea-and-sympathy-a-prescription-for-nineteenth-century-invalids/

*pours the tea into lovely teacups*


I miss Ms. Arabella Periscope, has anyone heard from her lately?
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J. Wilhelm
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Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #1662 on: February 09, 2019, 08:57:28 pm »

*snip*
I miss Ms. Arabella Periscope, has anyone heard from her lately?

She's AWOL from this platform, but I know she is present on Pinterest, using her same handle name and active as of a couple of weeks or so. Perhaps send hera a message over Pinterest?
Logged
Cora Courcelle
Snr. Officer
****
England England



« Reply #1663 on: February 09, 2019, 09:40:13 pm »


sometime just being able to say it all to someone makes all the difference, and sometimes making the commitment to take care of yourself and heal is very empowering. best of luck at your appointment.

Thank you very much! It DID help. She asked me to tell my life story basically, and we got partway through. Her doing that felt really good, like she really wanted to hear what I had to say. I would like for my offscreen friends to do that...

I am grateful you all in here have cared to hear what I have to say. It Really does make a difference. Thank you!!!


Accepting that things change and that you can have no control over that process is troubling and scary, but you always have a choice about how you accept that change.
 'As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he' is such a common thread in so many self-help books (and religions) that people tend to dismiss the idea behind the words but I try hard to follow this concept and find it helps me.

Thanks, Cora. Good idea.

I think I downplayed things a little. I was isolated for 6 months, could not leave the apartment, last year due to a terrible persistent reaction to the Danish pollen, which exacerbated a chronic illness that I got while in Denmark. During the whole year I got maybe 4 calls from two friends, and some visits from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. My parents were so kind as to talk to me almost every day on Skype, so that helped a lot. But really I am such an extrovert. I need to be around people much more than that, and talk to people, and see others interact in real life... it helps me get perspective on things.

So transitioning to living here is not just transitioning to living with three people instead of one, or to my country instead of his, but it's actually being able to LEAVE THE HOUSE. and DRIVE A CAR. and be responsible for more than my health.... and try to help my husband get a work permit, driver's license, tend to our medical appointments... etc. I am SO grateful that I can do these things again. That said, it's a lot to take on at once, and yet at first I felt like I couldn't make any impact in any of it. I'm feeling quite a bit better right now! <3

Yet there is a lot of stress around friendships, especially one in particular who has done and said so many inconsiderate hurtful things lately and rarely responds to any messages I send on ANY platform, including the one she said was the best way to reach her. I reach out and get total radio silence from her more often than not, and that has been going on for 9 years. I don't understand it and I'm tired of taking up the slack. Sometimes lately it eats away at me, like what is going wrong in this friendship...? because if I don't know, won't I repeat it? And why lose a friend if there's a way not to? But what is that way? So that is extremely stressful for me, friendships are very important to me.

I did get some good news today about my health and I'm happy about that! I hope everyone else's health is good, and that you find joy in something today.


My dear, you've had a bad time, not made any better by wondering what on earth you have done that former friends no longer want to contact you.  I'm afraid sometimes in life we just grow away from people and sometimes those people are not worth making further effort for; don't beat yourself up about it, you can only be responsible for yourself and how you behave. Anything else is up to them. If you have misjudged the depth of someone else's friendship it just demonstrates what a kind and loving person you are; any lack of response reflects on her, not you.
I'm glad you've got some good news health wise.
Know you are in my thoughts.
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Rose Inverness
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United States United States


Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1664 on: February 09, 2019, 11:40:23 pm »


My dear, you've had a bad time, not made any better by wondering what on earth you have done that former friends no longer want to contact you.  I'm afraid sometimes in life we just grow away from people and sometimes those people are not worth making further effort for; don't beat yourself up about it, you can only be responsible for yourself and how you behave. Anything else is up to them. If you have misjudged the depth of someone else's friendship it just demonstrates what a kind and loving person you are; any lack of response reflects on her, not you.
I'm glad you've got some good news health wise.
Know you are in my thoughts.

Oh thank you! You are so kind. People like you give me faith that the universe is a loving place. Bless you (in a nondenominational type of way). Thank you.


*snip*
I miss Ms. Arabella Periscope, has anyone heard from her lately?

She's AWOL from this platform, but I know she is present on Pinterest, using her same handle name and active as of a couple of weeks or so. Perhaps send hera a message over Pinterest?

"Mange tak" as the Danes say... Many thanks! Given the way she writes I can only imagine how beautiful her pinterest page might be.
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Miranda.T
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #1665 on: February 11, 2019, 12:47:03 am »

Dear Ms Inverness and Admiral Wilhelm,
I was saddened to hear of your respective trials over the last year, but equally gladdened to hear you have both found a resolve to push back against the vagaries and injustices of the world. Ms Inverness, I hope your health continues to recover, that your fight against bureaucracy on behalf of your husband is ultimately successful and and that your relationships with true friends prosper. Admiral Wilhelm, I wish you all the best your panned relocation, and look forward with great anticipation to hearing of your adventures in a new country.

With best wishes,
Miranda.
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rovingjack
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« Reply #1666 on: February 11, 2019, 06:53:12 am »

I've had a mood mulcher of a day.

a series of mishap that while moderately frustrating wasn't anything all that new in my life. But today was a special day. It was that one day a month when the group I run for play testing and designing new tabletop games gets together. We've had one or two people a month show up for the last few months, but this month I put extra effort into reaching out and gotten many people interested in showing up. And what's more I've created a game since last month that I was excited to share with people. So I brushed off all the little mishaps of the day and hurried myself down to the meeting place... To sit alone in a public room with my game board and pieces ever looking up like a hopeful puppy every time there was a noise that might be somebody showing up.

I come away from days like this with this sense of 'why do I even bother?' I mean this is not an isolated incident, this is in fact the over-arching theme of my existence. I work at connecting and getting out, I try new things and create experiments for myself to try, I get excited and passionate about those things and find others who are passionate about them, I create something to share or volunteer to host a gathering ( or both) and I end up sitting alone looking and feeling pathetic.

And the suckiest part of it all is knowing that I'll be burned a few times until I learn to stop trying to share or organise that thing... and a few months later I'll hear through social media that somebody else is doing it and it's wildly popular and everyone has a great time... and why didn't anybody think to do this kind of thing before.

I'll stay a little while longer in this area to get through the hard season, and then end up wandering homelessly again. quietly making art, games, writing books and making videos that nobody watches, and remind myself that the only thing to consider is making for the pleasure of making, because nobody sees me, or the things I do, so don't do it for them, do it for me.

But every now and then I'll forget, and I'll get excited and want to share something, and that makes me vulnerable. And that's how I get mood mulcher days.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2019, 06:58:07 am by rovingjack » Logged
J. Wilhelm
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« Reply #1667 on: February 13, 2019, 08:13:04 am »

I've had a mood mulcher of a day.

a series of mishap that while moderately frustrating wasn't anything all that new in my life. But today was a special day. It was that one day a month when the group I run for play testing and designing new tabletop games gets together. We've had one or two people a month show up for the last few months, but this month I put extra effort into reaching out and gotten many people interested in showing up. And what's more I've created a game since last month that I was excited to share with people. So I brushed off all the little mishaps of the day and hurried myself down to the meeting place... To sit alone in a public room with my game board and pieces ever looking up like a hopeful puppy every time there was a noise that might be somebody showing up.

I come away from days like this with this sense of 'why do I even bother?' I mean this is not an isolated incident, this is in fact the over-arching theme of my existence. I work at connecting and getting out, I try new things and create experiments for myself to try, I get excited and passionate about those things and find others who are passionate about them, I create something to share or volunteer to host a gathering ( or both) and I end up sitting alone looking and feeling pathetic.

And the suckiest part of it all is knowing that I'll be burned a few times until I learn to stop trying to share or organise that thing... and a few months later I'll hear through social media that somebody else is doing it and it's wildly popular and everyone has a great time... and why didn't anybody think to do this kind of thing before.

I'll stay a little while longer in this area to get through the hard season, and then end up wandering homelessly again. quietly making art, games, writing books and making videos that nobody watches, and remind myself that the only thing to consider is making for the pleasure of making, because nobody sees me, or the things I do, so don't do it for them, do it for me.

But every now and then I'll forget, and I'll get excited and want to share something, and that makes me vulnerable. And that's how I get mood mulcher days.

To be honest I've found most meet-ups in Austin frustrating and disappointing. Looking at your videos (e.g the Sumie video you posted in off topic) I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the ideas. Maybe edit the video a bit (over 1 hr in duration is a world of time for most YouTube viewers). But I find most people nowadays have too little time to share or dedicate to social activities and meet in person.

Steampunk in particular has been hard hit by that. My original Austin meet group is practically non existent, due to - frankly- really tragic real life problems, like poverty, illness, death... UGH! I look at their problems and I thank my lucky stars (and I'm not even that happy here! I want to leave for a better life!). Our group has now been substituted with a much larger group of people on Facebook
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rovingjack
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« Reply #1668 on: February 13, 2019, 07:40:57 pm »

yeah I know it might feel long but they are posted live. No edits, no control over if somebody comes in midway through, or phone calls. It's both an exercise in honesty (where you can't disappear the mistakes or use the magic of television to have a four hour turkey done in two minutes), it decreases my work load so I can make more videos (camera on, camera off, no two hours of video editing and audio track synching), and frankly it makes it easier to commit to creating something every day (no control over the details means all I have to do is show up each day and try something on camera).

I'm lagging behind on the edited content That I want to release a few days each week, the editing is a slog, and the scripting (even as minimal as I do) and staging everything means that 3 videos a week amounts to a full shift of work. Add to that I've also got 350 + hours of content from the makerspace tours and interviews, and some tinkering project videos I want to add to that channel on the weekends.

So there's about 8-12 hours of work a day as it is. The live videos mean it's 'only' that much. at some future point I may edit the live videos down into a sped up highlights video for easier viewing. It depends on where there might be a spot in my schedule for it.

I'm still not sure what I'll do during my trip to mthe makerspace and art museums in Hawaii, doing live updates from there may be a bit difficult.
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J. Wilhelm
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Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #1669 on: February 13, 2019, 10:00:10 pm »

yeah I know it might feel long but they are posted live. No edits, no control over if somebody comes in midway through, or phone calls. It's both an exercise in honesty (where you can't disappear the mistakes or use the magic of television to have a four hour turkey done in two minutes), it decreases my work load so I can make more videos (camera on, camera off, no two hours of video editing and audio track synching), and frankly it makes it easier to commit to creating something every day (no control over the details means all I have to do is show up each day and try something on camera).

I'm lagging behind on the edited content That I want to release a few days each week, the editing is a slog, and the scripting (even as minimal as I do) and staging everything means that 3 videos a week amounts to a full shift of work. Add to that I've also got 350 + hours of content from the makerspace tours and interviews, and some tinkering project videos I want to add to that channel on the weekends.

So there's about 8-12 hours of work a day as it is. The live videos mean it's 'only' that much. at some future point I may edit the live videos down into a sped up highlights video for easier viewing. It depends on where there might be a spot in my schedule for it.

I'm still not sure what I'll do during my trip to mthe makerspace and art museums in Hawaii, doing live updates from there may be a bit difficult.

Which makes you wonder how those travel bloggers like @kinetickennons do it. It's a ridiculous amount of work. Alas, they don't stage anything, but to reduce the video from hours to an average of 5-10 minutes plus background music - EVERY DAY- really takes most of their time. Hawaii - Why not compliment your videos witha little documentary on the places you visit? That has to attract some attention.
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Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
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Scotland Scotland


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #1670 on: February 15, 2019, 09:46:36 pm »

I'm really scared, suddenly, with maybe having to move to scotland. and while it's been my dream, I'm so scared I feel like giving up....but I came this far... I applied for uni, searched out a place i could live
it's getting so close now, 5 short months only
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"Crazy pseudo-scot living in a fantasy world"
Miranda.T
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« Reply #1671 on: February 16, 2019, 12:40:17 pm »

I've had a mood mulcher of a day.

a series of mishap that while moderately frustrating wasn't anything all that new in my life. But today was a special day. It was that one day a month when the group I run for play testing and designing new tabletop games gets together. We've had one or two people a month show up for the last few months, but this month I put extra effort into reaching out and gotten many people interested in showing up. And what's more I've created a game since last month that I was excited to share with people. So I brushed off all the little mishaps of the day and hurried myself down to the meeting place... To sit alone in a public room with my game board and pieces ever looking up like a hopeful puppy every time there was a noise that might be somebody showing up.

I come away from days like this with this sense of 'why do I even bother?' I mean this is not an isolated incident, this is in fact the over-arching theme of my existence. I work at connecting and getting out, I try new things and create experiments for myself to try, I get excited and passionate about those things and find others who are passionate about them, I create something to share or volunteer to host a gathering ( or both) and I end up sitting alone looking and feeling pathetic.

And the suckiest part of it all is knowing that I'll be burned a few times until I learn to stop trying to share or organise that thing... and a few months later I'll hear through social media that somebody else is doing it and it's wildly popular and everyone has a great time... and why didn't anybody think to do this kind of thing before.

I'll stay a little while longer in this area to get through the hard season, and then end up wandering homelessly again. quietly making art, games, writing books and making videos that nobody watches, and remind myself that the only thing to consider is making for the pleasure of making, because nobody sees me, or the things I do, so don't do it for them, do it for me.

But every now and then I'll forget, and I'll get excited and want to share something, and that makes me vulnerable. And that's how I get mood mulcher days.

That's a tough day; I know it's so hard to deal with disappointment like that especially when you've put so much effort into making it happen. Maybe it just was really bad luck and things simply got in the way of the others being there and the next meeting will be a good one? In any case, why not share you game ideas here?

Yours,
Miranda.
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Miranda.T
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #1672 on: February 16, 2019, 12:41:58 pm »

I'm really scared, suddenly, with maybe having to move to scotland. and while it's been my dream, I'm so scared I feel like giving up....but I came this far... I applied for uni, searched out a place i could live
it's getting so close now, 5 short months only


I'm sure you will have a wonderful time and quickly make lots of good friends. To which corner of Scotland are you headed?

Yours,
Miranda.
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Caledonian
Zeppelin Admiral
******
Scotland Scotland


the dragon's called Salmacis


« Reply #1673 on: February 16, 2019, 05:40:12 pm »

I'm really scared, suddenly, with maybe having to move to scotland. and while it's been my dream, I'm so scared I feel like giving up....but I came this far... I applied for uni, searched out a place i could live
it's getting so close now, 5 short months only


I'm sure you will have a wonderful time and quickly make lots of good friends. To which corner of Scotland are you headed?

Yours,
Miranda.

The north. It's not yet sure if the uni will take me, but I'm hoping for Aberdeen. If not there then maybe Inverness.

I'm not only moving out of my mother's house, but also out of my country. Which is a very big leap. And I'm very scared of it. The other day i was trying to log into my email to write a translating company for translating my documents and I just sat there for 15 minutes unable to log in
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Rose Inverness
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Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1674 on: February 17, 2019, 03:50:33 am »

Dear Ms Inverness and Admiral Wilhelm,
I was saddened to hear of your respective trials over the last year, but equally gladdened to hear you have both found a resolve to push back against the vagaries and injustices of the world. Ms Inverness, I hope your health continues to recover, that your fight against bureaucracy on behalf of your husband is ultimately successful and and that your relationships with true friends prosper. Admiral Wilhelm, I wish you all the best your panned relocation, and look forward with great anticipation to hearing of your adventures in a new country.

With best wishes,
Miranda.

Many thanks, Miranda! Very kind of you.

Rovingjack, I FEEL YOUR PAIN MY DEAR!!!!!!! Aaaauuugghhhh. That is the STORY OF MY LIFE. I have started clubs, bands, thrown parties, you name it. And so many times sat alone, getting sadder and more withdrawn. And the thing where every little noise..... It's so unfair. Why does this world allow any of us to Ever feel that lost??? pm me if you ever want to. It might help us both to expand our circle.

Caledonian, feel free to pm me any time whether that's when you reach the next country or before. I've done the switching countries thing and have some tips and MUCH sympathy. So much. I suffer from anxiety, so I completely understand both the paralysis of change AND the getting in gear and doing it anyway.

My family has been ill this week and so my perhaps not-carefully-worded wish that I'd get to repay their loving care of me while I was ill in the hospital has come true and then some. I was ill for approximately a day at the end of January, maybe 3/4 of a day, relatively short-lived. I think Dad got sick Monday and Mom and my husband have slowly followed suit and are all still sick. I am grateful that either:
a) my symptoms have been spaced out well and somewhat mild
b) all the sleeping I've been doing, and resting, has had a positive effect
c) the illness that sent me to the hospital Was this same thing and is over
d) though I may at any moment succumb to a more rigorous bout of symptoms, I have maintained enough health to care for those in my household during the worst of their ill health.

Sometimes being of help to others is as great or greater a boon than receiving help oneself. However they are both important. The former gives a positive purpose to life, the latter shows that one is loved.

Warmly and with greetings to the entire room,
Mme. Inverness
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