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Author Topic: Dragon Tamers - A room for those of us with anxiety / depression / etc  (Read 38021 times)
Miranda.T
Zeppelin Captain
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United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #1475 on: December 05, 2016, 12:02:37 am »

Hi Rovingjack,
Your 'neck of the woods' sounds absolutely lovely, and it's wonderful you have a means by which you are able to enjoy it, earn a wage for doing so and encourage individuals to engage in the democratic process. We are so lucky to live in countries in which we have at least some level of control over our destinies; our ancestors fought long and hard for their voice and votes to heard, and we should honour their struggles by exercising our franchise whenever we can.

Hi Cloudwolf,
I know emotions can be so intense when young, and sometimes it feels that whatever we do can feel so ephemeral, but our 'immortality' is in the warm memories we engender in those who love us. I can see the appeal in wanting to live for the moment, and certainly one should never take one's time for granted, but equally you can't assume there's no need to think about future because there will be one, no matter how much to contrary things may feel right now. To quote a line from my favourite band, "You can do lot in a lifetime, if you don't burn out too fast..."

Yours,
Miranda.

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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
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United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #1476 on: December 05, 2016, 03:02:16 am »

I'd use an over shoulder messanger bag If I thought I could, the trick is that we were sent out in teams of five or more in the same vehicle with only the materials for the job, and lunches. we get dropped off and picked up. If I was the driver maybe I could do it. But at this point I think I might as well just do it on the off season.

I also had the whimsical notion at one point that so many people have broken doorbells that are really just a simple fix, that I should start a door to door- doorbell repair service.

by the way this is one of the Raptor carts, at least that's what I think of them as.







I wonder if one would get into trouble if one left a raptor mannequin in one of those as a joke...

Too bad real Utah raptors aren't available...
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Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Moderator
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #1477 on: December 05, 2016, 05:16:48 am »

I'd use an over shoulder messanger bag If I thought I could, the trick is that we were sent out in teams of five or more in the same vehicle with only the materials for the job, and lunches. we get dropped off and picked up. If I was the driver maybe I could do it. But at this point I think I might as well just do it on the off season.

I also had the whimsical notion at one point that so many people have broken doorbells that are really just a simple fix, that I should start a door to door- doorbell repair service.

by the way this is one of the Raptor carts, at least that's what I think of them as.







I wonder if one would get into trouble if one left a raptor mannequin in one of those as a joke...

Too bad real Utah raptors aren't available...


No. I'm not sorry we don't have any of those available...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utahraptor#/media/File:Utahraptor_scale.png
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rovingjack
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United States United States



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« Reply #1478 on: December 06, 2016, 07:04:55 am »

I'd use an over shoulder messanger bag If I thought I could, the trick is that we were sent out in teams of five or more in the same vehicle with only the materials for the job, and lunches. we get dropped off and picked up. If I was the driver maybe I could do it. But at this point I think I might as well just do it on the off season.

I also had the whimsical notion at one point that so many people have broken doorbells that are really just a simple fix, that I should start a door to door- doorbell repair service.

by the way this is one of the Raptor carts, at least that's what I think of them as.




I wonder if one would get into trouble if one left a raptor mannequin in one of those as a joke...

Too bad real Utah raptors aren't available...


I might be able to go down to the haberdasher and see if they could spare one of their Utah raptor dressing mannequins. Ever since the intertubes came along Theropods have been relying less and less on local clothiers and more on ordering from online vendors.
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MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #1479 on: December 25, 2016, 08:41:30 am »

I'd use an over shoulder messanger bag If I thought I could, the trick is that we were sent out in teams of five or more in the same vehicle with only the materials for the job, and lunches. we get dropped off and picked up. If I was the driver maybe I could do it. But at this point I think I might as well just do it on the off season.

I also had the whimsical notion at one point that so many people have broken doorbells that are really just a simple fix, that I should start a door to door- doorbell repair service.

by the way this is one of the Raptor carts, at least that's what I think of them as.




I wonder if one would get into trouble if one left a raptor mannequin in one of those as a joke...

Too bad real Utah raptors aren't available...


I might be able to go down to the haberdasher and see if they could spare one of their Utah raptor dressing mannequins. Ever since the intertubes came along Theropods have been relying less and less on local clothiers and more on ordering from online vendors.






Heheh. Point taken; I do, however, seem to remember an entry in some sewing catalog or other for a pattern or kit or both for a semi-life-sized stuffed raptor plushie toy. It's been a couple of years or more though. Beyond my current level of expertise in any case.
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J. Wilhelm
╬ Admiral und Luftschiffengel ╬
Moderator
Rogue Ætherlord
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Sentisne fortunatum punkus? Veni. Diem meum comple


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« Reply #1480 on: December 25, 2016, 08:54:16 am »

Noting the current finding on Dinosaur feathers and proto-feathers, does that mean that the cartoon concept of a "fluffy/furry" dinosaur (e.g. "Dino" in the Flitstones cartoon) is not so off the mark?  Roll Eyes  Grin
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Rose Inverness
Snr. Officer
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United States United States


Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1481 on: January 10, 2017, 08:43:53 pm »

Hi.

Feeling depressed. Been living 3000 miles from home now for ~7 months. Miss my friends. Fight with my (new) husband a lot.

Stupid and possibly displaced manifestation at the moment that requires explanation: We have had a legal ceremony already but not one for friends and family to attend, complete with food and prettiness. The plan is for that one to be in April, this year, 3000 miles from where I am now. I bought a dress last year, under time pressure because I wanted to buy it With my mom in attendance before I moved. She and I are close. I went and tried on 6-7 dresses and got stuck trying to choose between two. Should have maybe just gone back to that store, but....

We had already made a plan to go to another store, with some friends of mine. We went, and right away I was disappointed because the dress I went to that store to see was $1000 out of budget (no small thing... and you can't find out online, it's such a trap) and they didn't offer to let me try it on. I felt too shy and cruddy that day to ask. Plus, I had a headache and felt "sick of" trying on dresses. So the second one of two that I tried (she only brought me two...), I felt pressured to buy and did. Sure, it sparkled and looked elegant, but it was by no stretch my dream dress. (I feel SO SILLY saying that.... but I love pretty gowns and have always wanted a ball gown. This one is NOT that.)

And now I have the dress I bought while in a bad mood, and have had it altered, and there's no time to get another, wait for it to get sewn and shipped, and then get altered. Unless I do it over here, or just guesstimate and don't care if it fits correctly.... Plus I'd HAVE to sell the first one. It's too much darn money not to.

But right now? I HATE that dress I bought. HATE it. Please don't reply with anything mean.... but I would really love some support and encouragement.

Anytime I say anything to my mom, it's like she can't hear me. Like 'Everything is perfect'. I feel so disconnected from my friends. My best friend is about to give birth and has little headspace for anything but that (understandable, I know), and another close friend is in the same boat, plus we aren't as close and I'm not sure whether she would understand or blow off my feelings. Then there are other friends who are also helping in the wedding and I don't feel like it would be great to say anything upsetting to them in case it colored how they feel about my wedding day. I want everyone to be happy. Not worried.
And I have a close friend and mentor, but her husband just died a year ago and she is really hurting from it. I've tried to talk to her but it's hard because she's hurting too much still to hear how much I'm hurting. And I understand that. I do.

I have lot of loving caring people in my life, but they are all dealing with their own stuff and I just feel so alone.

It's one of these stupid "upper-class problems" and I'm beating myself up for being so upset about it. I wish I wasn't, though. It's not so much the dress as it is stress about whether the choices I'm making are good. And feeling alone. And societal pressure about 'the one day'... etc.

Hope you all are well.
Rose
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That delicate forest flower,   
With scented breath and look so like a smile,   
Seems, as it issues from the shapeless mould,   
An emanation of the indwelling Life,   
A visible token of the upholding Love,   
That are the soul of this great universe.

~William Cullen Bryant

Trains to Steamtown, this way...
walking stick
Zeppelin Admiral
******
England England


« Reply #1482 on: January 10, 2017, 11:21:02 pm »

You can take a strong dislike to a gown for a lot of reasons, plus wanting things to be perfect I'm not surprised you are feeling it.
Vaguely practical thoughts for improving the dress are. 1) would the dress take a petticoat to become a little more ball gown shape?  2)what about a flowing overdress in lace or organza?  I don't know if either of these ideas would help.
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frances
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #1483 on: January 11, 2017, 12:43:37 am »

You are fighting with the man who is about to become your husband?  Is it because he is the only person you have at the moment with whom you can vent your real feelings?  Or is it because you have changed your mind about what sort of person he is?
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Rose Inverness
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States


Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1484 on: January 11, 2017, 02:30:49 pm »

You are fighting with the man who is about to become your husband?  Is it because he is the only person you have at the moment with whom you can vent your real feelings?  Or is it because you have changed your mind about what sort of person he is?
Absolutely to the venting part, and not the other part. He's a sweetheart. Sometimes I get anxious though. I've had so many bad relationships it's hard to believe in a good one. But this is one and I am doing the best I can to grow into it.

We're both under a lot of stress, coupled with anxiety, depression, ptsd.... In the past 7 months I've become mostly isolated + Skype calls (I'm not allowed to work or even volunteer until immigrations gives the go-ahead), and he's changed departments at work (with essentially an all-new job now), we've moved his disabled father to a more-involved care-home because he kept falling and wasn't eating regularly (licorice and chocolate don't count), and we are about to move to an apartment further out in the countryside but that isn't moldy or as tiny as this one.


You can take a strong dislike to a gown for a lot of reasons, plus wanting things to be perfect I'm not surprised you are feeling it.
Vaguely practical thoughts for improving the dress are. 1) would the dress take a petticoat to become a little more ball gown shape?  2)what about a flowing overdress in lace or organza?  I don't know if either of these ideas would help.

Hugs and thank you. I don't know if a petticoat would fit under it.... the dress is also 3000 miles away, due to the timing of me having to leave before it was done. They're two completely different dresses. The first one has masses of tulle for the skirt, sweet buttons up the back (decorative- it closes by a strong zipper), the bodice is supportive and has a leaf and vine pattern on it along with sequins here and there that really glint in the light. I love it. It's perfect.
The other one is lovely, but it seems wrong somehow. I am having a really hard time figuring out how to describe it. It is beaded with the beading making lines over the dress. It was more sparkly in person than it is in photos. It is figure-hugging and basically just drapes to the body. Cap sleeves. More tall-and-elegant.

Same exact cost. The only "solution" I can think of at present is try to sell the one I have and order the other one. And try to figure out if alterations can be done in 1 week or if I can somehow deal with the length. Not super-practical. But neither is regretting this dress forever. Which could sound silly? But I am a costumer. I'm an artist. Visual stuff matters to me.

It's also like making a choice between being a little girl and being a grown-up. The first dress is very much my little-girl-wish fairytale princess dress. It looks like something Snow from Once Upon a Time wears. The other one is very much more Mary from Downton Abbey. Except that right now I look at the photos and think of the Beetlejuice scene where the bride is shriveling up.. because of the crunchy-looking lines... they seem skeletal somehow. Yes, there are many reasons to become disenchanted with a dress   Lips sealed
« Last Edit: January 11, 2017, 05:53:35 pm by Rose Inverness » Logged
Cora Courcelle
Snr. Officer
****
England England



« Reply #1485 on: January 11, 2017, 09:04:19 pm »

Dear Rose, you sound so lonely and frustrated my heart goes out to you.  You've got a lot on your plate at the moment and you've been coping with it in a strange place, without your familiar 'back-up' group, while trying to adjust to a new step in your relationship - and no matter how wonderful the person you love is, he's only human too.  While being unable to work and therefore I assume you are financially dependant on him as well; that's always a hard one.  But hang in there and grow together.  Laughing together is really good too (as long as you're laughing at the same things!)
As for the dress.  Well actually I think it does matter that you have a dress that you like, maybe not the exact one that you obviously fell for if cost and time is an issue, but could you get one that at least has the sort of silhouette that you've always dreamt of?  I know secondhand is probably the last thing you've ever considered but it might be an option.  How are your dressmaking skills?  Could you make it?  (Making my own wedding dress was immensely satisfying, although the inside doesn't bear close examination, the outside looked how I wanted it).  Or could you collaborate with a local seamstress? 
I don't know if this has helped and  you've probably thought of all these things already, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Cora.
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You have to tread a fine line between avant-garde surrealism and getting yourself sectioned...
rovingjack
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« Reply #1486 on: January 12, 2017, 09:44:27 am »

Rose, keep in mind that the dress is decoration. it's the decorative flowers on a cake, not the cake itself. No matter how you decorate it the beuty of the day is you and your marriage.

That and I can pretty much promise that thirty years out looking at pictures of the wedding, even if you had the dress you wanted it wouldn't even rank in the top 10 of your fondest memories of the day.

We sometimes get hell bent on the details because we tell ourselves that if we can get it to do this one little thing the way we want, then it would mean that we have control over the things in our lives. We very seldom have much control over our lives, at best we are co-authoring our stories with the Fates, and Serendipity.

It's going to be an event, you'll get swept up and nothing will go exactly as planned. and that will be why in part it will be one of the best memories you will ever have. Wonderful moments will happen, completely unexpected, it will be emotional, and worth being there in the moment rather than worrying about the plan. The only thing you can control is your own mindset going into it all. If the cake explodes for no apparent reason you can collapse into crying heap... or throw your hand in the air and scream "That was awesome!" and cackle like mad. Neither makes the cake unexplode, but one is definately going to have a way better time and amazing memories to cherish ever after.

Quote
and now for something completely different

I'm getting frustrated with myself. I finished out my worst year in the last 8 years going to a gathering for new years, it's made me confront some things about myself and how I live my life that my councilor is very enthusiastically poking at every week. I have to admit I not opposed to exploring them and actually get into it, so no real problem there.

But in the process of closing out a year that at best amounted to, holding on for dear life and just waiting for it to be over and wondering if I'd be alive at the end of it... that mode of living became a habit. I've forgotten how to be a person who does things and lives an exccentric and creative life.

I have all these ideas and passions that I'm fairly frothing at the mouth to get into doing... and instead I watched a couple hours of youtube videos today instead. It's inertia pure and simple. An object at rest tends to stay at rest until acted on by an outside force. I wouldn't say I'm resting, but I most definately am not an object in motion. It's almost like what I hear people describe sleep paralysis as being; a sense that you are in your body wanting desperately to move but finding your body completely unresponsive.

I'm flailing like mad wanting to have the joy of doing these things I'm passionate about, while my body is a shambaling undead thing unresponsive and getting by with the seeming minimum of everything. The embodyment of the "I'm up, what more do you want of me."

Thing is my mood isn't even really bad or depressed, just somehow my thoughts and feeling don't seem to be communicating past the wrinckled surface of my own mind into action.

Sigh, I'm going to have to figure a way through or around this soon.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 09:46:10 am by rovingjack » Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
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Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


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« Reply #1487 on: January 12, 2017, 11:56:32 am »

* the figure in the chair by the fireside puts down his everfull pint glass and clears his throat*

Ms Inverness,
                         If I may intrude with a touch of "male-truth" - On your grand day your man will see you as a beautiful woman in a beautiful dress.
Ask him again a few years later about that day and no matter the thousands of dollars or hours expended upon beadwork and fancy stitching all he will remember is that you were and are still a beautiful woman and you were wearing ... uh... some kind of white thing, right...?

*he raises his glass in silent toast to all the beauty in the room and takes a draught*
« Last Edit: January 12, 2017, 12:03:26 pm by Fairley B. Strange » Logged

Choose a code to live by, die by it if you have to.
Rose Inverness
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States


Communing with the Over-soul via you.


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« Reply #1488 on: January 12, 2017, 12:25:39 pm »

Dear Rose, you sound so lonely and frustrated my heart goes out to you.  You've got a lot on your plate at the moment and you've been coping with it in a strange place, without your familiar 'back-up' group, while trying to adjust to a new step in your relationship - and no matter how wonderful the person you love is, he's only human too.  While being unable to work and therefore I assume you are financially dependant on him as well; that's always a hard one.  But hang in there and grow together.  Laughing together is really good too (as long as you're laughing at the same things!)
As for the dress.  Well actually I think it does matter that you have a dress that you like, maybe not the exact one that you obviously fell for if cost and time is an issue, but could you get one that at least has the sort of silhouette that you've always dreamt of?  I know secondhand is probably the last thing you've ever considered but it might be an option.  How are your dressmaking skills?  Could you make it?  (Making my own wedding dress was immensely satisfying, although the inside doesn't bear close examination, the outside looked how I wanted it).  Or could you collaborate with a local seamstress?  
I don't know if this has helped and  you've probably thought of all these things already, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Cora.

Cora, you are so kind!!!! Thank you!!!!!! :-) It means a lot to me to read your comforting words. I am copying them and putting them on my desktop where I can see them again.
I keep getting the message of 'laughter' this week. I'd done a bit of laughter yoga again. Maybe I'll see if he wants to do some, too.
One great thing about having posted here is that it clarified my thoughts and gave me the courage to talk with my husband about how I felt. He was sweet and compassionate, too. Like you all.

I actually hadn't thought about making my dress, though that is on my list of '100 things to do' (I left out 'before I die' in case I get to haunt a mansion or something one day). I certainly have considered secondhand, and if I had found one in a price range that made sense and could have tried it on I would have gone that route first. I actually did look at some on ebay or something this week that have a similar silhouette with a good price and they are my backup plan if I can't find the dress over here.


That and I can pretty much promise that thirty years out looking at pictures of the wedding, even if you had the dress you wanted it wouldn't even rank in the top 10 of your fondest memories of the day.

For most people you would be right. One of my fondest memories from childhood (I couldn't have been more than 5 years old and I think I was 4, actually) is standing alone in the room of my best friend in a magenta-sequined dress, watching the light from the afternoon sun glint off the sequins and reflect around the room, and seeing in the mirror how the dress looked on me. I did not have any dresses like that and I loved it. I asked her if I could take it home with me, and of course she said no. I also asked her father who I knew to be kind and generous.  Roll Eyes you can guess; he also said no.
I'm a costumer. I'm known within my family for really loving sparkly things. I watch tv series just for the costumes sometimes. It's part of who I am. The way folks who love working on cars- that is part of who they are. When we started planning our wedding my husband said
Quote
'All I know that I want is a vintage car to drive away in.'

You have such a good point about attitude. Thank you for that reminder. I think on the day of I'm going to have that happy enjoying attitude. I certainly did on the day of our civil ceremony.


But in the process of closing out a year that at best amounted to, holding on for dear life and just waiting for it to be over and wondering if I'd be alive at the end of it... that mode of living became a habit. I've forgotten how to be a person who does things and lives an exccentric and creative life.

Maybe I missed some things. I'm so sorry to hear it's been such a difficult year for you! What about your strandbeest stuff and convention-going this past year? (unless my sense of time is messed up more than I think) You seemed to have a bloom of creativity. I was inspired by your enthusiasm!
Do you take Vitamin D in the winter? I take it year-round actually and sometimes a tiny bit extra in the winter if I've got the blues. Ahem. Just got up from the computer to follow my own advice.

Thanks, Fairley.  Wink

Warm delicious tea wishes to all. Thank you for comforting me. I wish I could be there in the Actual warm cozy dark room with fireplaces lit and companion animals about. And steaming milk tea and ginger biscuits. I can recreate a bit of it here at home though.
Rose
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rovingjack
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« Reply #1489 on: January 12, 2017, 11:29:26 pm »

some of those things might have been on the hopes list of the year or the intentions list but this year did a good job of not working out in any of those sorts of directions. Mainly it's been one set of fires after another along the way
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

dealing with all of these things meant that I didn't go to any conventions, or local events for the most part, couldn't really work on any projects (time, space health and cost of any materials just wouldn't allow me to). I didn't even make it to any local group meetings for 9 or more months. I eventually did get to the local childrens science museum to do presentations of past projects for our makers group.

but the emotional and physical toll of this past year has forced me twice to stop even making creative content for my youtube channels. I feel quite guilty for failing that, and as a creative outlet they are one of the things that do a great deal for my mental health too so it's a bit of a double whammy.

I imagine this year will have some hold over fires to deal with (while typing it has been revealed that the newest housemate has plans to move out in march, the bank I have my car loan with is playing paperwork games that stand to risk penalty costs to me and marks on the credit history of myself and my mother who cosigned with me, and some of my medical coverage disappeared with the new year, while I still have to file with two agencies to square away the pay from my postal job, with proofs on letterhead of days and hours worked and pay rate ... or lose all benefits for aiding with my disabilities. And sometime this year I imagine we will get more an idea about what's to happen with the ownership of this house, not to mention things on a national and international scale that are going on). But I have a little hope that in the long run it won't be the endless stack of nightmares 2016 felt like. *knocking on all the wood in a ten foot radius just in case*
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