Author Topic: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?  (Read 11145 times)

greensteam

  • Zeppelin Captain
  • *****
  • Posts: 1805
  • Steamed up from birth
The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« on: March 14, 2012, 09:35:04 pm »
In the thread about Tea Duelling http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,32759.0.html Mr Peter Harrison has made a suggestion that I feel warrants its own thread:

What Events Would We Have in The 2012 Steampunk Olympics?

Warning note to sports enthusiasts: I loathe conventional sports and games of every kind especially those inflicted at school etc. If you are easily offended by criticism of cricket or scorn poured on soccer, move away briskly now and cover your eyes with your tophat.

The residents of the UK, in particular the denizens of the London stews, are about to submerged in sporting overkill in every aspect of life, and especially the atmospheric broadcasted entertainments. In Scotland there is even a follow-on punishment with the Commonwealth games arriving in 2014.

So the fightback starts here and now. If you would be up for arranging some steampunk sports in your neck of the woods, what would they include? I will start the list off with some obvious possibilities:

1. Tea Duelling (sudden death and marathon versions)
2. Bartitsu
3. Steam triathlon: raygun shooting, tea duelling and crinoline relay.
4.
5. 

So it's every hand to his rope or gun, quick's the word and sharp's the action. After all... Surprise is on our side.

The Corsair

  • Defective Inspector
  • Board Moderator
  • Zeppelin Admiral
  • **
  • Posts: 3183
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 09:43:35 pm »
I'd add The Hunt and a penny farthing race

Possibly a chap-hop rap battle
Still here, just quieter

https://apothecary.press/

Narsil

  • Immortal
  • **
  • Posts: 2611
    • Sculpture
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2012, 09:58:55 pm »

-Sailing : The duration of this event is up to 3 years. Medals are awarded on the basis of the amount of territory claimed on behalf of their native country.

-Electric fencing : weapons are connected to a power supply of the contestants choice.

-Pipe smoking







A man of eighty has outlived probably three new schools of painting, two of architecture and poetry and a hundred in dress.
Lord Byron

Mr Peter Harrow, Esq

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 5414
  • Fellow of the Victorian Steampunk Society
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2012, 11:57:27 pm »
Boater water polo is a well established sport (at least at the steampunk new year) but perhaps it could also work as a land based solo event, the "skimmer" a discus equivalent.
I have also previously suggested jet pack racing on other threads
Proudly giving the entire Asylum The Finger!

LadyAsprin

  • Zeppelin Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 754
  • Sabreuse.
    • My Ravelry Page - it needs a login though.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2012, 01:04:41 am »
-Electric fencing : weapons are connected to a power supply of the contestants choice.

Surely Steam (non electric) fencing would be more suitable?
Only girls fight with swords these days.(Wellington - Duel and Duality - Blackadder III)

Mrs. Whatsit

  • Snr. Officer
  • ****
  • Posts: 318
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2012, 02:23:01 am »
Timed corset tying, extra points for artistry

Hat pin darts

Book balance races - You must balance a number of Victorian tomes on your head and race around the parlor.
“Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You're given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself."

walkthebassline

  • Zeppelin Captain
  • *****
  • Posts: 1494
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2012, 02:41:18 am »
Chess? Or perhaps cards?

Fencing of some variety sounds good.

I'm also trying to think of some means of playing Quidditch. Steampowered jetpacks perhaps?
"Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."

~ David St. Hubbins

Rockula

  • Board Moderator
  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • **
  • Posts: 4617
  • Nothing beats a good hat.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2012, 12:22:44 pm »

-Pipe smoking


That event already forms part of the events at the annual 'Chap Olympiad' (London;July) and should it be considered for any Steampunk Olympics we could end up with some of the confusion they seem to have with the various boxing / wrestling bodies and end up with conflicting World Champions.

Or perhaps some sort of 'Smoke Off' could be arranged to determine the true master?
The legs have fallen off my Victorian Lady...

Fairley B. Strange

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 1838
  • Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..
    • One of those Facebook things...
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2012, 12:31:41 pm »
As it's in London-town, why not theme a few events with local colour?

The Whitechapel Biathlon - running up and down all those gas-lit alleyways, leather aprons with the contestant's numbers on... a bit of fencing with a No.10 scalpel...
« Last Edit: March 15, 2012, 12:34:12 pm by Fairley B. Strange »
Choose a code to live by, die by it if you have to.

Capt. Dirigible

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 7524
  • Shirts?.....I got plenty at 'ome.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2012, 04:26:11 pm »
Quote
some sort of 'Smoke Off'


Not to be confused with a 'smoke cough'


As it's in London-town, why not theme a few events with local colour?

As it's in East London it's going to be hard enough for the competitors to  tell which of the gun shots is the starter's pistol anyway! Baddum-TISH!

We could have the 100 metre internal chimney climb for under 16s..

Quote
running up and down all those gas-lit alleyways, leather aprons with the contestant's numbers on
Oh..you mean the 'Hop, Skip and Stab'

How about showjumping and Dressage on one of these?

Monkey Butler Wrestling







« Last Edit: March 15, 2012, 04:31:30 pm by Capt. Dirigible »
I say, Joe it's jolly frightening out here.
Nonsense dear boy, you should be more like me.
But look at you! You're shaking all over!
Shaking? You silly goose! I'm just doing the Watusi

Mr Peter Harrow, Esq

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 5414
  • Fellow of the Victorian Steampunk Society
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2012, 10:41:06 pm »
Not Monkey Butler Wrestling, but Monkey Butlers competing at their own events, silver cleaning, tea making, ironing a newspaper, catchingthe peanut, properly laying out the masters clothes to be the ultimate gentlemans hominid.

Capt. Dirigible

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 7524
  • Shirts?.....I got plenty at 'ome.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2012, 12:54:38 pm »
Not Monkey Butler Wrestling, but Monkey Butlers competing at their own events, silver cleaning, tea making, ironing a newspaper, catchingthe peanut, properly laying out the masters clothes to be the ultimate gentlemans hominid.

Or 'Putting the Sh!t'..how far a Monkey Butler can fling it's own faeces!
« Last Edit: March 16, 2012, 04:31:25 pm by Capt. Dirigible »

The Corsair

  • Defective Inspector
  • Board Moderator
  • Zeppelin Admiral
  • **
  • Posts: 3183
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2012, 01:09:26 pm »
A few more ideas:

- 'The Whore Run' (first to find the cheapest whore on Whitechapel wins)
- 'The Todd' barber-off (fastest shave wins)
- 'Inverse Todd' beard-off (biggest beard in the given time wins)
- An Arms Race
- Steam Knight Duelling
- Zeppelin Aerial Obstacle Course (fastest time wins)
- Train-Track Building (longest rail line wins, some points given for extras like tunnels and bridges)
- Hat-Off http://pics.blameitonthevoices.com/102010/hat_off.jpg
- Gentleman Competition (most gentlemanly wins)
- The Apocalypse (last-man-standing post-apocalyptic event)
- RetCon-Off (most history altered wins)

Capt. Dirigible

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 7524
  • Shirts?.....I got plenty at 'ome.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2012, 04:35:53 pm »
Quote
Gentleman Competition (most gentlemanly wins)

Well that's a non-event for a start! "On your mark..Get set...GO!"

"After you"
"No, after you"
"No, I insist, after you, Sir"
"No, no..please, after you.."
"I couldn't possibly. After you.."

ad infinitum!

Esme Moore

  • Snr. Officer
  • ****
  • Posts: 642
  • Navigatrix, Combat Horticulturist (Cadet), Poet.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2012, 11:48:33 pm »
Croquet (conventional or SuperHoop* rules; I'm game, if we can find a suitable pitch for the latter)
Scone-wrangling
Reversi
Brolly-fencing
Brolly snooker
Brolly golf
Moustache-fencing
Bustle-boxing
Tea ceremony (I have English Rules in mind, although I'm sure we could accomodate Japanese rules too, should any prefer to use those)
Doily-throwing
Artful fainting
Hat tower construction (tallest hat tower wins)



*a la Wednesday Next tales by Jasper Fforde

greensteam

  • Zeppelin Captain
  • *****
  • Posts: 1805
  • Steamed up from birth
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #15 on: March 17, 2012, 04:59:08 pm »
These are fantastic. However, since we learn that the entirety of the greater London metropolis is to go into security lockdown, I suspect that many of these wonderful suggestions will have to take place in the provinces.

Finales could perhaps be fringe  or off-fringe events at the Asylum if sufficient interest?

Capt. Dirigible

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 7524
  • Shirts?.....I got plenty at 'ome.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #16 on: March 17, 2012, 05:06:56 pm »
Quote
Doily-throwing

To be thrown Discus style, I hope.

There could also be the Cucumber Sandwich Relay in which a plate of said comestibles are carried with haste around a track and passed onto another team member without dropping any..or have to be passed from one plate to another at the hand over point using tongs, one sandwich at a time..before continuing.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2012, 07:01:07 pm by Capt. Dirigible »

Mlle Aconite

  • Snr. Officer
  • ****
  • Posts: 9
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #17 on: March 17, 2012, 06:42:05 pm »
Concours d'elegance - side saddle - Steampunk style.


Hell, I'd already be doing this one if I could only find someone to teach me side saddle.

LadyAsprin

  • Zeppelin Admiral
  • ******
  • Posts: 754
  • Sabreuse.
    • My Ravelry Page - it needs a login though.
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #18 on: March 17, 2012, 06:55:15 pm »
Concours d'elegance - side saddle - Steampunk style.


Hell, I'd already be doing this one if I could only find someone to teach me side saddle.

I really want to try side-saddle, just so I can say I have tried it.

Angus A Fitziron

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 2821
  • Research Air Ship R.A.S. 'Saorsa'
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #19 on: March 17, 2012, 07:19:40 pm »
440 yard promenade

sack race

three legged race (singles and pairs events - the former event may be competed for by Igors)

the idea of throwing anything larger or heavier than indoor darts is anathema to steampunks so we will quickly pass over those sports, although target shooting with skimmed bowler hats may be acceptable.

triple jump, better known as the hop, skip and jump - sufficiently silly to be included

Airship Artificer, part-time romantik and amateur Natural Philosopher

"wee all here are much troubled with the loss of poor Thompson & Sutton"

Mercury Wells

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 3286
  • I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2012, 09:24:08 pm »
Blindfold Gin tasting.
Cog throwing (discus style).
Piston throwing (Caber style or Scotish hammer style).
The perfect put downs in reply to Chav comments.
Cravat tying.
Zombie survival.
Chav impersonation (dress style, speech & mannerisms).
Oh...my old war wound? I got that at The Battle of Dorking. Very nasty affair that was, I can tell you.

The Ministry of Tea respectfully advises you to drink one cup of tea day...for that +5 Moral Fibre stat.

Angus A Fitziron

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 2821
  • Research Air Ship R.A.S. 'Saorsa'
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2012, 10:02:02 pm »
I don't know much about it yet but The Riding Lights are touring a play called Monsieur de Coubertin's Magnificent Opymlic© Feat! which is described as "the glorious, remarkable and often hilarious story of the rebirth of the Opymlic© Games in Athens in 1896..." It seems so SP, I have to assemble a proper theatre attending outfit! I understand the Opymlic© is just one of the things they've had to invent to avoid litigation!


Mercury Wells

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 3286
  • I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2012, 10:41:56 pm »
Penny Farthing Drag Racing (not sure if this would involve cross dressing though).
Rocket pack display team (with coloured smoke).
Air-Kraken sky-surfing (also with coloured smoke).



Angus A Fitziron

  • Zeppelin Overlord
  • *******
  • Posts: 2821
  • Research Air Ship R.A.S. 'Saorsa'
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2012, 11:15:10 pm »
gin rummy (1842 rules where 'gin' is a forfeit after each round)
steam chariot racing
penny farthing pursuit race
retro-futuristic pentathlon - ray-gun shooting, tesla fencing, 220 yard professional endurance swim (Dawley rules), mechanical horse show jumping and 2 mile cross country steam hover board.
igor 4 x 440 yard relay (at least one body part must complete the whole mile of the entire event).
leviathan eliminator


Mercury Wells

  • Rogue Ætherlord
  • *
  • Posts: 3286
  • I insiste that you do call me WELLS. :)
Re: The 2012 Steampunk Olympics - what events?
« Reply #24 on: March 19, 2012, 01:47:34 am »
gin rummy (1842 rules where 'gin' is a forfeit after each round)
penny farthing pursuit race

Or even a "Rum do" (what ever the game is about it's still very strange)

Penny Farthing daredevil stunts (jumping over Omnibuses et cetera*)/speedway/dressage/P.F.M.X. with optional freestyle.  :o

Mornington Crescent (possible mode of transport:- Dirigibles)

Water skiing behind a steam ship.

Reading a popular classic in the style of a different author (judge's choice)

(My abject apologies for these:- Music Hall X-factor/Celebrity Come Ballroom Dancing)

*Including "The Watford Gap".  :o
« Last Edit: March 19, 2012, 03:08:52 am by Mercury Wells »