Refusing to be dragged down by life.

[Gerry Hunter]

In my treks on the internet I encountered an idea that I've decided I will use to help me get my life in a better place. The idea is just a simple one I've expanded on some here.

I've decided that while I'm entitled to be unhappy about something as it happens I refuse to carry it with me for the rest of the day or week or however long. So I've started a new rule: When I meet somebody, or make a note, or come to the end of my day and I'm asked what I did or what happened today nowhere on the lists of things I remember or think worthy of note or mention will there be anything that I would say detracts from the happiness of my day; Unless I have done two things to make my life better. There may be happy memories and factual memories of no emotional connection but all annoyances and angers and panics and depressions are let go and not allowed to fester.

If Something is so damned all important that I must allow it to detract from any part of a good day, then I shall have to over balance accounts by making a surplus of good manifest in my life. The quickest way to do that is to make my situation better by DOING SOMETHING about things that need fixing. Sometimes that involves resolving my problem at that moment but just as often it could well be realising some aspiration that I've put off.

The idea is that I can build a sort of happiness economy with myself, always put more in than lost to the cost of living, and when spending goes up find ways to earn a little on the side. There is also the idea of building up  a credit in cases life well and truly tries to spoil things someday (at which time I can ease the bruises by remembering the good things I have done to shield me from such things).

In the end of things it may be an unsustainable experiment but in the process of trying it out I'll have done things and may well have more happy events in my life than bitter and depressing ones. In no way can I see that as a failure.

So far I'm still swearing a lot when frustrated, I think that's a separate problem, but I'm a bit more relaxed and hopeful about my life the rest of the time. Now If I can just cultivate a sense of almost detached reason during times of jumbling. Then I'd keep my head and handle situations, even if it just to set them aside until I can deal with them completely, and when not dealing with the situation not carrying any stress over into the rest of my life.

Anybody else have strategies they use, or want to try using and we can see if we can pull ourselves through some tough spots and actually come out ahead?

[Seaton Begg]

I find it useful to lower ones expectations to a suitable level.

A working knowledge of Korzybskian General Semantics seems to tip the balance in favour of a little more sanity in everyday life.

And having to hand a book of bon mots by Mr Oscar Wilde helps a lot.

[Lady Evelyn Grey]

Oh, I love learning life and mood- hacks. Especially for getting out of ugly moods. Off the top of my head, I can think of three things I do to improve my mood- if I notice in time. (Links for inspiration can be provided upon request.)

1. Every day make a list of five, unique things that I appreciate, find beautiful, am grateful for, etc.  This just helps my brain to be constantly looking for new, pleasant things I haven't used before.

2. If I do become succumb to melancholia or the blues, I try to find myself five minutes (preferably in nature) and really look at my surroundings. Not just see and cataloge- but look. Notice the way the light plays on the leather of the chair. The color of of that light. The way it fades into the rich brown of the leather. The other color gradations- the way the seems keep the chair together, etc. This has two benefits: it gets me out of my head and negative thoughts, and I find color and shape to be inherently beautiful.

3. If something is really bothering me, I'll journal actively about it. This isn't just "X happened today and it made me angry." But rather "X happened today, this is why it made me angry. This is what I can do to prevent these things from happening again. This is how I can deal with the anger the next time this happens." Too often I notice myself just going around repeating "I'm angry/sad/stressed about X" but not looking at the why or how I can fix it.

For the swearing, I heard someone once replaced all of the traditional swears for older, now comical ones. Darn, fudge, dagnabit, etc. They ended up sounding so funny when they were angry- like an old cartoon character- that it was hard to stay angry for long.

[Drew P]

There's also:cheese and rice,son of a biscuit...

I'm a self-proclaimed 'half-empty glass' kind of guy. More so because I know what will eventually happen,but this mainly concerns my Work.
Plus,with this notion,I'm usually happy more of the time than not .

[Lady Evelyn Grey]

The whole "better to be a pessimist because you'll either be proven right or pleasantly surprised?"

[Drew P]

Yes,but I'm an optimistic pessimist .

[Seaton Begg]

A Pipe

A jug of Pimm's no.1

And a phonograph of Noel Coward songs.

[Maxwell B. Cooper]

For the swearing, I heard someone once replaced all of the traditional swears for older, now comical ones. Darn, fudge, dagnabit, etc. They ended up sounding so funny when they were angry- like an old cartoon character- that it was hard to stay angry for long.

I do something similar, when I feel the need to swear I usually substitute the expletive for something more comical (but no less dramatic), "Feck" being a great example. I've also taken to make up some of my own simply by throwing random words together such as "Nuts and Monkeys" also I'm now trying harder to use the phrase "What the Deuce?" more in my everyday language.

[citizen_erased]

I personally accept that being down is part of being human and thus unavoidable (and not a bad thing per se!) - but it will always pass. You can`t stop the rain from falling, but that doesn`t mean the sun will never shine again. Generally, the sun rises again every roughly 24 hours, which is a nice constant you can always count on. I don`t expect that to end anytime soon, at least. Whatever went wrong the day before, can maybe be done right, fixed or dealt with now you`ve had some sleep and things are a bit more clear again.

I also have a list of music and movies that makes me happy. Reading about science and learning new things in general also makes me happy, so I tend to focus on that as well. Plus generally fangirling about things I like, even if it`s a tv-show or an actor or whatever.

As for swearing: I do swear a lot (though I don`t use the words generally used in Dutch language. Using "cancer" as a swearing word is all kinds of horrible, aside from pointless, if you ask me), but I don`t consider swearing necessarily a bad thing. It`s a good way to release some anger in a way that won`t actually hurt people as far as I`m aware. I`m very much tempted to change all my swearing to older ones though, especially after they used "mewling quim" in the Avengers. I love that one.

[Herbert West]

I wish I could believe things will get better. But I've been buried in a deep depression since my job went belly-up last week, and nothing good seems to have happened since. If anything I've been watching Youtube videos, and following forums and DJ'ing on Second Life just to take my mind off of real life.