Zombie apocalypse guide - be prepared!

[MWBailey]

Loner's Guide:
Kukri (or other blade* if you're proficient with that), nunchaku or truncheon, guns, ammo (guns in last place, because "Ammo runs out, Body and blade last forever." nunchaku or truncheon because they're more powerful per caloric expenditure than a wooden bat or large club) Food, water, Fortified Shelter. Transport & fuel that will still work after high altitude nuke detonation. fife for signaling and other uses. All supplies for roughing it. Get out of city and head for defensible ground ASAP, otherwise keep moving 'til in the desert or other wilderness, and then hole up as best you can and live off the land AMAP.

[Will Howard]

Dye your hair blonde- then they'll think that you have no brains!

[H. MacHinery]

I think that Chuck Heston had the right idea in "Omega Man" - fortify an urban space - stores are close by, and not everything will get looted; break/fill-in a few staircases and 3rd floor becomes defensible; and the amenities are there for quick fix - wiring for generators, plumping for water, etc.

[D.Oakes]

I need to update my plan.  Since becoming engaged and with a child, my whole plan for myself no longer fits.  There is so much to consider.  I had to explain to my fiance today that my 1885 carbine would probably break her shoulder if she fired it.  Our child is too little to do anything.  Of course there is always my cat, he knows Tai Chi, so perhaps he could be my sidekick.  I am a multi-tool of survival, which is why I always just intended on being alone, but I guess now I need to involve people, but people I can trust...or people I do not like at all and would have no problem "dealing with" should they get bitten or decide to try and take over the group.  Since I will be with people, then I need to really work on my lines.  Of course I could do like I always did in reenacting and just borrow my lines from Vietnam War movies, but then again with it being the whole end of humanity and all, I should probably be original.  Then again if anyone survives to repopulate, at least some of our prior entertainment legacy would live on in the memory of me.  But what if I am not the hero of the zombie apocalypse?  What if it is my cat?  There is much to think about. 

Also, what if the zombie apocalypse truly was real?  Depending on it's method of spreading, one would basically have to wear full body protection against being contaminated.  That is the one thing that has always bothered me about zombie movies.  They have been leading rough lives, so most likely they are covered in scratches and micro-abrasions, then they go on a zombie-killing spree, get covered in all sorts of nasty gunk and do not get infected.  Did the zombies somehow develop venom glands and that is why it is only the bite that spreads the infection?  Sorry it has always annoyed me. 

[Edmund Charles Rutherford]

Four words for a zombie invasion/apocalypse: "Kill it with fire!"

[Gomez Darkholm]

How to survive a Zombie apocalypse.    perfect solution, just three words ... Don't get eaten     Seriously, I agree that firearms should be a low priority; blades .. anything from about 36"  all the way up to six foot or better.  Lot's of supplies, or a way to get supplies ... and wait it out.  Like all other "monsters"  Zombies need food.  No food, no zombies.

[citizen_erased]

How to survive a Zombie apocalypse.    perfect solution, just three words ... Don't get eaten     Seriously, I agree that firearms should be a low priority; blades .. anything from about 36"  all the way up to six foot or better.  Lot's of supplies, or a way to get supplies ... and wait it out.  Like all other "monsters"  Zombies need food.  No food, no zombies.

No food, no zombies. Plus, with their bodies deteriorating, it`s only a matter of time before they`re too "old" and just fall apart and can`t do anything. They don`t exactly last forever. Sure, with the sheer amounts of people living just about everywhere, it might take more than 20 years before it`s even slightly safe again to head out, but at least that`s still better than never.

Also, what if the zombie apocalypse truly was real?  Depending on it's method of spreading, one would basically have to wear full body protection against being contaminated.  That is the one thing that has always bothered me about zombie movies.  They have been leading rough lives, so most likely they are covered in scratches and micro-abrasions, then they go on a zombie-killing spree, get covered in all sorts of nasty gunk and do not get infected.  Did the zombies somehow develop venom glands and that is why it is only the bite that spreads the infection?  Sorry it has always annoyed me. 

Meh, the people in the movies are generally stupid (and lucky) anyway. Driving around, drawing attention to themselves, mainly using firearms. Don`t put too much thought into the movies .

[Velkan]

1st thing you should do is establish exactly what you're dealing with never believe that the Zombies that you are dealing with are all the same:

1. Voodoo/magic spawned Zombie - while they act generally the same as other zombies the method to destroy them requires eliminating the force that animates them.

2. Virus Zombie - more prominent in recent times the virus Zombie is the most well known, with infectious bite their number increase rapidly and are most likely to cause chaos on a global scale method of elimination is the standard brain severing/destruction.

3. Parasite Zombie - Corpses under the direct control of a invading force their movement is more sporadic than others due to the deteriorated nervous system of the host highly infectious and known to release spores that will infect organisms within proximity, best method of destruction is fire eliminating the parasite along with the host

4.  Technological Zombie - usually created when a scientist/military decides to build an army, they are not usually infectious (besides the usual bacteria present in the decaying flesh) they possess abnormal strength even amongst other zombies and are likely to turn on their creators and rampage until destroyed or their level of decay renders them beyond function, Methods of destruction vary with the level of enhancment on the corpse.

May you all survive the apocolypse to build a steampunk utopia

[elvisroe]

If anyone happens to be in need of a good battle-axe, I've got an Aunt I can happily send your way.    

I'm with the good doctor on the battle-axe - a great weapon for taking out the brain.  I have both axe and machete on stand-by in the garden shed/survival bunker.  A cricket stump could also be used to great effect.

I'm also partial to some sort of long handled war hammer or climbing axe.



As for my role when hell breaks loose - I'm a TV journalist so woo-hooo!! What a story!!!"

The Z-pocalypse WILL be televised!!!

[Capt. Dirigible]

High defensible ground: yes
Your average island where the shore just climbs up gradually and all you have to do is walk up: not so much. Even if said island does have high defensible ground as well

Well..I live five floors up at the very end of the balcony and have the means to barricade  myself off from the rest and have a good higher ground posistion. However I would need to  make trips out to stock up and I have a couple of swords but no guns.Should the zombies manage to getthrough my barricades I've no where to retreat to.

I'll stick with the Countess' parents place for now.

[akumabito]

Hmmm, there's a television tower nearby.. I think it would make an interesting base of operations. And few people would think to go there.. it's pretty big on thee inside, plus, being the talles building around BY FAR, the views are pretty sweet, too! It's pretty much a 260ft tall concrete tube, with a 600ft steel antenna on top of that. The steel antenna is now gone though - it collapsed in a fire last year. They're currently planning on rebuilding the antenna tower, and it'll be a little taller still then it was before.

Mast Tv toren Smilde

Weapon-wise, I'm gonna have to go with a war hammer, or a flanged mace of sorts. Although I love blades, they get dull, and there's always the hazard of them getting stuck in a zombie's flesh - blunt force trauma is the way to go! Cold Steel has some interesting offerings. I like their war hammer, but thei Indian war club is also interesting.. or their blackthorn walking stick for something slightly more civilized..

[KABAR2]

do a search on youtube "how to survive a zombie attack" it is done along the lines
of the old civil defense films, I am on my work computer and it doesn't play well with
youtube.... otherwise I would post it...... there are several other zombie type service
announcements out there also...

[MWBailey]

The bad thing about swords over about 30 inches or so, and end-heavy things like axes and hammers is that they tend to need room to accelerate, store a lot of momentum, and be difficult to stop; Aim at a post,  get a bastard sword, battle axe, sledgehammer, or anything up to claymore size to swinging and then try to stop it before it hits, and you'll see what I mean. Great for smashing skulls or severing heads of zombies -- unless or until wife or kid or girl or boyfriend trip over something and fall in the way. You'd want to stop that weapon then, wouldn't you?

Also, think about what it took to get it actually moving fast enough to get there in time to do anything; that's a lot of energy expended for just one strike. It seems negligible at the outset, but work with it for an hour or so, and then see how lightning-fast you are -- and if you can even lift the thing. Trust me: a kukri, saber, cutlass, or a wakazashi are 'way better than an axe, claymore or a horse-soldier-sized katana. Even bastard swords tend toward lethal ungainliness.

[psn1der]

So, sharp enough to do the job, but light enough to swing easily?

[MWBailey]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

[citizen_erased]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

Basically, a proper samurai katana? (one of those that is considered the "perfect sword", because of how it gets folded a gazillion times and then gets some extra layers on it and all that.)

That`s pretty much where my knowledge on swords ends really - katana or longsword XD  meh, as long as they do their job, I`m satisfied, really.

[H. MacHinery]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

Basically, a proper samurai katana? (one of those that is considered the "perfect sword", because of how it gets folded a gazillion times and then gets some extra layers on it and all that.)

That`s pretty much where my knowledge on swords ends really - katana or longsword XD  meh, as long as they do their job, I`m satisfied, really.

Buy a sturdy machete from your friendly local ,ilitary surplus/outdoors store.- a good one will hold an edge, is light enough to swing fast, and has plenty of chopping power.

[citizen_erased]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

Basically, a proper samurai katana? (one of those that is considered the "perfect sword", because of how it gets folded a gazillion times and then gets some extra layers on it and all that.)

That`s pretty much where my knowledge on swords ends really - katana or longsword XD  meh, as long as they do their job, I`m satisfied, really.

Buy a sturdy machete from your friendly local ,ilitary surplus/outdoors store.- a good one will hold an edge, is light enough to swing fast, and has plenty of chopping power.

I think the nearest military surplus store is at least one hour away from me. Plus, living on a student budget sucks. I`ll stick to my knife for now, I suppose, until I have more money to spend and no housemates to freak out. Then hopefully I can buy a proper katana at one point and train with it for ages *_*

[TVC15]

Now hold on a minute, everybody. All this talk about killing off infected relatives, brain eating kids and those pitiful demetia minded elders needs to stop right now. I happen to be a representative of the Save A Zombie Association and have been lurking around all these years. Every time there's a zombie movie out showing somewhere it just makes my spleen get squishy. Zombies have been given a bad rap ever since that evil director G. Romero showed up. Zombies have rights, too. The reason they eat brains is because they sense in their victim opponent that they just aren't using theirs. Yes, at one time I was once like you and wanted to behead a living corpse but I have since seen the light. I will start a list of all those who would like to join our association and "Save A Zombie!"

[D.Oakes]

Now hold on a minute, everybody. All this talk about killing off infected relatives, brain eating kids and those pitiful demetia minded elders needs to stop right now. I happen to be a representative of the Save A Zombie Association and have been lurking around all these years. Every time there's a zombie movie out showing somewhere it just makes my spleen get squishy. Zombies have been given a bad rap ever since that evil director G. Romero showed up. Zombies have rights, too. The reason they eat brains is because they sense in their victim opponent that they just aren't using theirs. Yes, at one time I was once like you and wanted to behead a living corpse but I have since seen the light. I will start a list of all those who would like to join our association and "Save A Zombie!"

And as for Voodoo Zombies....it is a perfectly reasonable punishment for all manner of crimes.  And besides, they make a good work force. 

Now I on the other hand will not see George Romero's good reputation tarnished, he has been simply alerting the world to the plague of brain dead people walking our planet as we speak.  Although in Land of the Dead, they are quite sympathetic and actually begin to think. 

[Prof Marvel]

When attacked by one or more zombies I prefer a layered approach -

Art the First: the subtle arts- Study the Arts of How Not to be Seen; utilize a diverse  combination of Hiding and  Camoflauge ! Cardio is good, but disappearing is better! Learn to be hidden in plain sight - Practice Hide and Seek in public places, learn to look like a Wall, a Street Lamp, or a Postal Box. When in doubt mimic the attackers: for example in Egypt one can appear glassy-eyed, adopt a stumbling walk, and chant "Imhotep" .... When these techniques show signs that they are not working, implement

Art The Second: subterfuge, illusion and smoke & mirrors - It is essential to learn slight of hand, and adopt a layered mode of dress. When first detected, when wearing a Spiffy outfit such as Top Hat and Opera cloak,  employ Prestidigitation to make it seem that the Natty Fellow ducked into a shop; one sheds the outer layer, and out walks an old crone Zombie! Utilize Mirrors and portable Hologram projectors to appear to be where you are not. When this strategem fails, deploy a smoke bomb, duck into an alley and deploy

Art the Third: Zombie Bait - an auto-inflatable self propelled Citizen Simulacrim equipped with Loud Voice (Texas Accent is good). Set him off in one direction whilst pretending to be a Postal Box and schedadle at first opportunity. If this fails then fall back to

Art The Last: Weapons of Mass Destruction - jump down the nearest manhole, hold your breath and Push The Red Button ....

yhs
prof marvel

[elvisroe]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

Basically, a proper samurai katana? (one of those that is considered the "perfect sword", because of how it gets folded a gazillion times and then gets some extra layers on it and all that.)

That`s pretty much where my knowledge on swords ends really - katana or longsword XD  meh, as long as they do their job, I`m satisfied, really.

Ah the old katana v european long sword argument! There's a debate for the ages. There's a lot of mythology surrounding the Japanese swords and the quality of the steel. Personally Id take a quality English backsword with a basket hilt over a katana any day!

[psn1der]

Now hold on a minute, everybody. All this talk about killing off infected relatives, brain eating kids and those pitiful demetia minded elders needs to stop right now. I happen to be a representative of the Save A Zombie Association and have been lurking around all these years. Every time there's a zombie movie out showing somewhere it just makes my spleen get squishy. Zombies have been given a bad rap ever since that evil director G. Romero showed up. Zombies have rights, too. The reason they eat brains is because they sense in their victim opponent that they just aren't using theirs. Yes, at one time I was once like you and wanted to behead a living corpse but I have since seen the light. I will start a list of all those who would like to join our association and "Save A Zombie!"

Seems we have a volunteer for Zombie bait...

[citizen_erased]

and strong enough to not snap or fold hopelessly on impact. full-sized brush-clearing machetes tend to lend themselves to long-term use; used for clearing land, you see.

Basically, a proper samurai katana? (one of those that is considered the "perfect sword", because of how it gets folded a gazillion times and then gets some extra layers on it and all that.)

That`s pretty much where my knowledge on swords ends really - katana or longsword XD  meh, as long as they do their job, I`m satisfied, really.

Ah the old katana v european long sword argument! There's a debate for the ages. There's a lot of mythology surrounding the Japanese swords and the quality of the steel. Personally Id take a quality English backsword with a basket hilt over a katana any day!

I wrote an essay on almost exactly that debate for English last year (I also included things like armour and education of both knights and samurai). It eventually ended with something along the lines of "they`re both equally awesome, and should knights and samurai have met on a battlefield, there`s no telling who would`ve won" , except ofcourse put differently.

The English swords are often a bit more sturdy, almost blunt in feeling, you know what you get with those, whereas the katana is, in a way, prettier, smoother and more subtle. They`re both pefectly lethal, which is in the end what we need when killing zombies, so in apocalypse setting I`m not going to be picky XD

[bicyclebuilder]

The whole zombie thing is so overrated. You can see them coming for miles away with the arms pointed forward, the "euhheh" sound and their smell of rotting flesh. How can you ever get surprised by them? I ones had a tiny mouse trapped inside our house, died and rotted away. The stench was awefull, so when a rotting courpse is hiding inside a house, you'll know it. As for running away from them, a zombie doesn't run, it limps.
Unless the zombies have aditional super powers, you'd be fine.