Zombie apocalypse guide - be prepared!

[Evelyn Adler]

What are you going to do if the zombie apocalypse starts?

I'm thinking about disguising myself as a clown. Everyone knows, zombies don't eat clowns, because they taste funny.
But I believe, the first thing I'd do would be a trip to the next DIY market. Plenty of useful weapons there!

So - what are your plans?

[Nuaie]

Raid my pantry, climb into my attic while the initial hoohah dies down, then strike out for probably the most fortress-ish building in the state.

[citizen_erased]

I have an entire plan ready. I won`t go too much into detail, but basically it involves the amount of food and water I`m stacking up, knives, flashlights/batteries, and a trip to this one specific cave(/mine, whatever) that comes with a kitchen, running (independent!) water, several heavy iron doors and a ventilation system.

You don`t want to do a trip to a DIY store or supermarket after the apocalypse has started - everyone will do that. You`ll actually want to make sure you`re prepared before it all starts, so you have enough supplies to last you at least a month, and to be able to defend yourself.

I also may or may not have put a little bit too much thought into this, and actually have books on it. (Yes, I have an actual book that is called "the zombie survival guide" XDD)

[Flightless Phoenix]

I think the rule is that the most paranoid people are the most likely to survive. That's why I've had a zombie survival guide for the 4 houses I've lived in =P

[Wormster]

.......and a trip to this one specific cave(/mine, whatever) that comes with a kitchen, running (independent!) water, several heavy iron doors and a ventilation system.

NOW we're talking, I know of several places within an hour's drive (or less in certain cases) that meet such cirteria, I'd also be packing as much "HEAT" as I could possibly lay my hands on............now where's the 40 gallon drum of avgas, soap and dets stashed??.................waitagoddamminnet, THAT bit is simple......up the road! - its the "heat" that I have to find, I don't think a .22 airrifle will "cut the mustard!"

[Evelyn Adler]

My Zombie Survival Guide is in a box in a basement in Berlin!
OMG I'm going to die for sure!!!  

The rule that paranoia helps saving lives, was one of the ten basic rules we learned in roleplaying early on.
I believe that roleplayers and nerds will have an evolutionary advantage in the upcoming zombie apocalypse. Except for me of course, I'm too scatterbrained!  

EDIT: on second thoughts, I believe, many nerds are going to die, because they forgot about rule #1:

Zombieland Rule # 1 - Cardio

[psn1der]

Not realizing, until now, how big a threat this will be, I'm sorely unprepaired.  Where does one find a useful Zombie Apocalypse guide?

Zombieland is one of my favorite movies.  Maybe I'm not as unprepaird as I thought. 

[Herr Döktor]

Right now we are advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.

[citizen_erased]

Not realizing, until now, how big a threat this will be, I'm sorely unprepaired.  Where does one find a useful Zombie Apocalypse guide?

Zombieland is one of my favorite movies.  Maybe I'm not as unprepaird as I thought. 

I have this book: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Zombie_Survival_Guide
I`m sure you can find it on Amazon and the likes as well.

For some reason I haven`t actually seen Zombieland yet. Taking care of that now

[Evelyn Adler]

Right now we are advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.

While shotguns have the advantage of range, they can run out of ammunition. Your clients should invest in some sturdy axes or shovels as well.

[citizen_erased]

Right now we are advising all our clients to put everything they've got into canned food and shotguns.

While shotguns have the advantage of range, they can run out of ammunition. Your clients should invest in some sturdy axes or shovels as well.

Knives are a commodity that everyone has that can do the trick if necessary. Unfortunately they also require close range combat, which can get rather nasty.

Clients should also invest in lots and lots of practice with their weapons of choice. Not much use in a weapon if you don`t know how to handle it, after all.

[DrArclight]

While shotguns have the advantage of range, they can run out of ammunition. Your clients should invest in some sturdy axes or shovels as well.

If anyone happens to be in need of a good battle-axe, I've got an Aunt I can happily send your way.     I would say she would also make good zombie bait, but her distinct lack of a brain, black heart, and toxic personality might better serve as a zombie repellant.  Of course being in her presence might also result in an overwhelming desire to throw yourself to the zombies for mercy.

(This brings up another interesting point for surviving a zombie attack.  Keep a list of "friends" that would make good decoys and zombie fodder to aid you in escaping.  Know who you'd be willing to sacrifice and who you wouldn't because we all know that decision will need to be made eventually.

[Evelyn Adler]

(This brings up another interesting point for surviving a zombie attack.  Keep a list of "friends" that would make good decoys and zombie fodder to aid you in escaping.  Know who you'd be willing to sacrifice and who you wouldn't because we all know that decision will need to be made eventually.

Yes of course! You don't have to outrun everyone, you just need to be faster than your slowest companion.
Which of course brings us back to rule #1 (see above), because over time, only the fittest will survive.

[psn1der]

Thank you for the link, Citizen_Erased.

So...Cardio, an array of sharp weapons, a shotgun with ammunition and practice?

Does anyone have a good recommendation for a nice flamethrower?  I'm not a huge fan of up close and personal combat.

[Capt. Dirigible]

Funnily enough the Countess has had this whole scenario planned and sorted for ages. She does like to be prepared for any eventuality. Come the apocalypse we get out of London and drive down to her parent's place. Isolated but with good views of the surrounding countryside, it's well stocked with canned and frozen goods..has a strong cellar..shotguns and ammo..and a generator. We're sorted..apparently.

[psn1der]

Funnily enough the Countess has had this whole scenario planned and sorted for ages. She does like to be prepared for any eventuality. Come the apocalypse we get out of London and drive down to her parent's place. Isolated but with good views of the surrounding countryside, it's well stocked with canned and frozen goods..has a strong cellar..shotguns and ammo..and a generator. We're sorted..apparently.

If you'll just give over the address, Captain, we'll all meet you there.

[Herr Döktor]

Funnily enough the Countess has had this whole scenario planned and sorted for ages. She does like to be prepared for any eventuality. Come the apocalypse we get out of London and drive down to her parent's place. Isolated but with good views of the surrounding countryside, it's well stocked with canned and frozen goods..has a strong cellar..shotguns and ammo..and a generator. We're sorted..apparently.

Have I ever told you how fond I am of the both of you..?

[Flightless Phoenix]

Insta Flamethrower: A lighter and an aerosol can.

Sorted =P

I'm sure there must be a practical way to scale this up in order to avoid close contact.

Also note to self; never forget rule 1 or I'll be that slow companion that ends up zombie fodder

[citizen_erased]

Funnily enough the Countess has had this whole scenario planned and sorted for ages. She does like to be prepared for any eventuality. Come the apocalypse we get out of London and drive down to her parent's place. Isolated but with good views of the surrounding countryside, it's well stocked with canned and frozen goods..has a strong cellar..shotguns and ammo..and a generator. We're sorted..apparently.

Be sure you can still manage to get out of London - a LOT of people will be trying to get out, gridlocks everywhere = sitting ducks for zombies.

As for Instant Flamethrowers: try hairspray/deodorant and a lighter.

[Evelyn Adler]

NO FLAMETHROWERS!!! 

[Ulysses Reynolds]

Anybody needs a place to stay, I've been looking at a nice island in the middle of nowhere. Put some pits in and barb wire up. I'll be good for a while. Plus it needs a mountain with a narrow pathway up to make our home on. That way no mass of zombies running up, they'll just get pushed over the edge.

[Capt. Dirigible]

Funnily enough the Countess has had this whole scenario planned and sorted for ages. She does like to be prepared for any eventuality. Come the apocalypse we get out of London and drive down to her parent's place. Isolated but with good views of the surrounding countryside, it's well stocked with canned and frozen goods..has a strong cellar..shotguns and ammo..and a generator. We're sorted..apparently.

Have I ever told you how fond I am of the both of you..?

Oh 'ere we go...

[H. MacHinery]

Anybody needs a place to stay, I've been looking at a nice island in the middle of nowhere. Put some pits in and barb wire up. I'll be good for a while. Plus it needs a mountain with a narrow pathway up to make our home on. That way no mass of zombies running up, they'll just get pushed over the edge.

One thing that people seem to forget is that while zombies cannot swim, they do not need to breathe, so they can just walk along the bottom of the lake/stream/river to most islands.  You still need a fence or wall to keep them out reliably.

[psn1der]

But Zombies can not climb (the remake of Day of the Dead DOES NOT COUNT).  High defensible ground is good.

[citizen_erased]

But Zombies can not climb (the remake of Day of the Dead DOES NOT COUNT).  High defensible ground is good.

High defensible ground: yes
Your average island where the shore just climbs up gradually and all you have to do is walk up: not so much. Even if said island does have high defensible ground as well.

Islands might be a bit hard to keep control of. Especially if you want them big enough to be self-sustainable, which means you`ll need wood, food, a house, storage, etc etc. Might be hard to keep track of the complete perimeter of the island, make sure really nothing gets in, especially if you`re on your own.

And besides, the zombies might not get in, but other survivors might find you, and they might not be as friendly and willing to share as most people here seem to be. You need to make sure those survivors stay out as well.