Gaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhh MK IV!

[walkthebassline]

May be losing somebody else close to me.  Got tests next week.  I'm not sure if I can do this again. 

I'll be praying, D.Oakes. Sorry to hear about something like this.

[D.Oakes]

May be losing somebody else close to me.  Got tests next week.  I'm not sure if I can do this again.  

I'll be praying, D.Oakes. Sorry to hear about something like this.

Not sure if you've noticed my occasional rants on here, but apparently she's suspected for some time and just didn't want me to worry.  So she figured pushing me away would do the trick. 

[rovingjack]

May be losing somebody else close to me.  Got tests next week.  I'm not sure if I can do this again.  

I'll be praying, D.Oakes. Sorry to hear about something like this.

Not sure if you've noticed my occasional rants on here, but apparently she's suspected for some time and just didn't want me to worry.  So she figured pushing me away would do the trick. 

Try not to hold it against her (but make sure she knows where you stand on the being pushed away, as in it's not gonna work), as I've said in the less serious situation of worrying about my recovery from my sugery "This is the first time I've had all of my teeth removed surgically, it's a steep learning curve. I'll be better at it next time we do this " Basically nobody gets practice runs for life changing events. They don't have operating manuals with exactly what is the right thing to do. And it's confusing for them and other people can seem to complicate things even more.

As far as wether it is as bad as you think, don't think. Every day like it's the only day that exists. No worries about what tomorrow bring because you won't know and it isn't there yet. Worrying wastes the time you have today that could be spent on today.

When the day comes and you know... celebrate every moment you get. Reguardless of the outcome. Live a lifetime in a week, it can be done. Your friends'll be there for you if it gets hard.

It's an awful lot to shoulder alone... so don't. Don't shoulder nothin you don't hafta. Together shouldn't be a burden. Instead use the absolute hell out of right now until there isn't an ounce of it left. and then when those pages are closed look back and remember when and celebrate that togetherness.

And if all those things happen and tomorrow brings you brighter news than you thought, don't let it be an excuse to stop.

How many lifetimes can we live and share before we depart? I don't rightly know, but I plan to try and find out.

[D.Oakes]

May be losing somebody else close to me.  Got tests next week.  I'm not sure if I can do this again.  

I'll be praying, D.Oakes. Sorry to hear about something like this.

Not sure if you've noticed my occasional rants on here, but apparently she's suspected for some time and just didn't want me to worry.  So she figured pushing me away would do the trick.  

Try not to hold it against her (but make sure she knows where you stand on the being pushed away, as in it's not gonna work), as I've said in the less serious situation of worrying about my recovery from my sugery "This is the first time I've had all of my teeth removed surgically, it's a steep learning curve. I'll be better at it next time we do this " Basically nobody gets practice runs for life changing events. They don't have operating manuals with exactly what is the right thing to do. And it's confusing for them and other people can seem to complicate things even more.

As far as wether it is as bad as you think, don't think. Every day like it's the only day that exists. No worries about what tomorrow bring because you won't know and it isn't there yet. Worrying wastes the time you have today that could be spent on today.

When the day comes and you know... celebrate every moment you get. Reguardless of the outcome. Live a lifetime in a week, it can be done. Your friends'll be there for you if it gets hard.

It's an awful lot to shoulder alone... so don't. Don't shoulder nothin you don't hafta. Together shouldn't be a burden. Instead use the absolute hell out of right now until there isn't an ounce of it left. and then when those pages are closed look back and remember when and celebrate that togetherness.

And if all those things happen and tomorrow brings you brighter news than you thought, don't let it be an excuse to stop.

How many lifetimes can we live and share before we depart? I don't rightly know, but I plan to try and find out.

Worst part of it is, I am still numb from a year ago with my mom.  And I have a friend that I have been afraid to call because her truck still has not left the service station in weeks.  (the last I heard she was going in for treatment for a brain tumor)  

I'm angry actually.  (politics, violence, censored language)  

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In 1996 when my grandfather died of liver cancer the treatments were awful.  He refused them and outlived the doctor's predictions by 2 years.  In 2011 when my mom was diagnosed I had hopes that things had improved and they didn't.  She ended up dying largely because of the treatments.  The only improvement was that the doctors got the time frame right.  Now in 2012 I am     at this whole   sorry excuse for a medical system and would love to take the owners of all the companies that put dangerous chemicals into anything where they have no reason to be and string 'em up for the whole world to see....and the   corrupt pieces of   who sit on the FDA and let these   inbreds get away with it....I hope there is a special level of Hell.  There is no reason why any of this crap needs to be happening.  In fact to tie in with another thread....you know what I hate about the modern world?  It is nothing but a waste of technology and knowledge.  If I am going to die from cancer I'd rather Death be the thief in the night he used to be, I don't want to know and I don't want my family to know, I want it to happen and be done with.  I am just sick of the false hope.  I am angry at myself right now because I'm already giving up because that is all I have known.

[Professor Phineas Brownsm]

Maybe they have just decided that they want to be alone together!  Have you ever left home?

Do you have friends with sofas or can you afford to rent?  I'm not sure whether being pushed out of the parental nest constitutes intentional homelessness or whether you can nip into Taberner House and ask about the state of the council house list?

cant afford to rend and most of my friends have moved out of Croydon... (i can safely assume your a fellow Croydonite?) Council house list takes a really long time

[frances]

Hi Phineas,

Then I hope that you are investigating hostels / seeking advice / asking those friends you do have left.  After all you need somewhere safe indoors to store those goggles

[Professor Phineas Brownsm]

Hi Phineas,

Then I hope that you are investigating hostels / seeking advice / asking those friends you do have left.  After all you need somewhere safe indoors to store those goggles

I have my stuff safely stashed away in my underground secret volcano lair!!

[LukeHogbin]

Met up with a friend yday, we went out drinking and I managed to return home without my:

- camcorder
- cellphone
- wallet (no cards in there, at least something good)
- backpack


FML xD

[Siliconous Skumins]

Maybe they have just decided that they want to be alone together!  Have you ever left home?

Do you have friends with sofas or can you afford to rent?  I'm not sure whether being pushed out of the parental nest constitutes intentional homelessness or whether you can nip into Taberner House and ask about the state of the council house list?

cant afford to rend and most of my friends have moved out of Croydon... (i can safely assume your a fellow Croydonite?) Council house list takes a really long time

Maybe you should think of moving elsewhere in the country, there are some great places to live that don't cost an 'arm and a leg'.  You probably wouldn't have to move too far from you home turf to find a decent place.

cheapest rental location for 2010...
County    Average monthly rent
Selkirkshire            £299
Lincolnshire    £459
Stirlingshire    £473
Staffordshire    £476
Cleveland            £476
Cumbria            £478
West Glamorgan    £480
Fife                    £487
Ayrshire            £488
County Antrim    £495

Source: Endsleigh


10 priciest rental locations according to the Endsleigh stats:
County    Average monthly rent
London            £1,271
Aberdeenshire    £979
Middlesex            £966
Surrey            £943
Oxfordshire            £841
Avon                    £808
Berkshire            £795
Buckinghamshire    £779
East Sussex    £741
Dorset            £740


I know it's a BIIIIG move and change of circumstances, but if you HAVE to make the move, why not go all out and get the best you can for money / job prospects...  
Believe me, you can get a decent place for less than the above prices - I currently rent out a number of properties, and I have a reputation with the local council and tenants for providing excellent quality properties at some of the lowest prices in the area. For example one property currently rented out is  a small stone built 2 bedroom, end terrace house (Victorian cottage) in a very popular and affluent area, with local shopping area just around the corner - Current rent is £100 per week. I also have several 3 / 5 bedrooms (depending on what you wish to use rooms for) maisonettes (upper Tyneside style flats), which some are currently rented around £375 pcm (£87/week) to £420 pcm (£97 / week). A single Bedroom groundfloor flat (Tyneside style) is around £78 / week. These prices are well below the values charged by other private landlord in this area - and some of their properties are terrible!

The reason I rent so low - I have no problems getting a tenant, the first one to see it ALWAYS wants it, and they can easily afford the rent, so tend to be long-term tenants (have one tenant stay for over 20 YEARS now...). 

So it *is* possible to get a decent place to live, and still be able to afford it. 

However if you are unemployed or on a low income and receiving Housing allowance, the benefits system is changing, and anyone under the age of 35 is only entitled to the rent payments for a single bed flat / bedsit, which up here is around £55 per week - so a bigger property will require you to fund the shortfall.

More info on LHA rates:  http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Diol1/DoItOnline/DG_196239


Do a bit of research, use some of the website based property search engines (Zoopla, Globrix, etc) to find something in your price range, and check out the local area with Google street view before you waste time going to view a property in a crappy area. 

Good luck, hope you get sorted. 

SS

[rovingjack]

apartment inspection in a bit over 36 hours. I'm a book lover and hobbyist who's lived here for about three years now. I've got stuff absolutely everywhere. I guess I know what I'm doing between now and friday night.

edit: add to that, crappy book shelves. anything that is stabalised and kept from leaning an inch or two off to one side by a sheet of cardstock nailed to the back is crap. worse so when inserting pastic peg A into hole B said peg punches through the other side of the half inch 'wood' and tears the paper wood grain pattern on the outside.

I just don't have the flipping time to get the materials and cut them myself for a real set of shelving.

[Professor Phineas Brownsm]

Maybe they have just decided that they want to be alone together!  Have you ever left home?

Do you have friends with sofas or can you afford to rent?  I'm not sure whether being pushed out of the parental nest constitutes intentional homelessness or whether you can nip into Taberner House and ask about the state of the council house list?

cant afford to rend and most of my friends have moved out of Croydon... (i can safely assume your a fellow Croydonite?) Council house list takes a really long time

Maybe you should think of moving elsewhere in the country, there are some great places to live that don't cost an 'arm and a leg'.  You probably wouldn't have to move too far from you home turf to find a decent place.

cheapest rental location for 2010...
County    Average monthly rent
Selkirkshire            £299
Lincolnshire    £459
Stirlingshire    £473
Staffordshire    £476
Cleveland            £476
Cumbria            £478
West Glamorgan    £480
Fife                    £487
Ayrshire            £488
County Antrim    £495

Source: Endsleigh


10 priciest rental locations according to the Endsleigh stats:
County    Average monthly rent
London            £1,271
Aberdeenshire    £979
Middlesex            £966
Surrey            £943
Oxfordshire            £841
Avon                    £808
Berkshire            £795
Buckinghamshire    £779
East Sussex    £741
Dorset            £740


I know it's a BIIIIG move and change of circumstances, but if you HAVE to make the move, why not go all out and get the best you can for money / job prospects...  
Believe me, you can get a decent place for less than the above prices - I currently rent out a number of properties, and I have a reputation with the local council and tenants for providing excellent quality properties at some of the lowest prices in the area. For example one property currently rented out is  a small stone built 2 bedroom, end terrace house (Victorian cottage) in a very popular and affluent area, with local shopping area just around the corner - Current rent is £100 per week. I also have several 3 / 5 bedrooms (depending on what you wish to use rooms for) maisonettes (upper Tyneside style flats), which some are currently rented around £375 pcm (£87/week) to £420 pcm (£97 / week). A single Bedroom groundfloor flat (Tyneside style) is around £78 / week. These prices are well below the values charged by other private landlord in this area - and some of their properties are terrible!

The reason I rent so low - I have no problems getting a tenant, the first one to see it ALWAYS wants it, and they can easily afford the rent, so tend to be long-term tenants (have one tenant stay for over 20 YEARS now...). 

So it *is* possible to get a decent place to live, and still be able to afford it. 

However if you are unemployed or on a low income and receiving Housing allowance, the benefits system is changing, and anyone under the age of 35 is only entitled to the rent payments for a single bed flat / bedsit, which up here is around £55 per week - so a bigger property will require you to fund the shortfall.

More info on LHA rates:  http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Diol1/DoItOnline/DG_196239


Do a bit of research, use some of the website based property search engines (Zoopla, Globrix, etc) to find something in your price range, and check out the local area with Google street view before you waste time going to view a property in a crappy area. 

Good luck, hope you get sorted. 

SS

Thank you SS. that is fantastic!!!

Prof. Phineas

[Birdnest]

Stupid allergy ... up until last night, I thought that I was immune to the glorious trappings of spring pollen. After last night's bike ride, I have been proven wrong.  Allergy med. is making my head feel like it's full of compressed air.

[Ulysses Reynolds]

Gorram eye drops, I can't see cause of them. Makin' it a might hard to type or read.

[Mercury Wells]

Flaming Blizzard. 

[Ulysses Reynolds]

Flaming Blizzard. 

Blizzard Entertainment?

[Mercury Wells]

Flaming Blizzard. 

Blizzard Entertainment?

Yep them.

[Arvis]

Flaming Blizzard. 

Blizzard Entertainment?

Yep them.

 I played D-2 this evening. Made a new character and tried to name him "D-threeSucks". Seems that someone has beaten me to that name(and some of the other variants as well).
 Finally settled on "I_HateDthree" and it worked.

[rovingjack]

I utterly hate my life right now. 24 hours ago a stabbing searing pain ripped through me and left me writhing for hours. I managed a few hours sleep before I had to be up intime  to get a move on cleaning my room and the common areas for the inspection. The common areas are done. I've worked through my room over and over, constantly tired and in pain. 19 hours later and it actually looks worse. There just isn't room for it all. I've moved things and thrown out three kitchen bags of trash, and two recycling bins or recyclables. I still can't see most of the floor. I'm less sick now, but increadibly exhausted. I think I will be getting sick again tomorrow as the foods I can usually trust are tasting like the brand has changed on me and may not be as safe as it once was.

I'm nearly at my wits end here. In this condition there is no way this will pass inspection and in all liklyhood it will considered a danger. I fear my only hope is to go down in the basment and take the giant plastic bin that has my old clothes and rush them off to a donation bin and then scrape up as much as possible and put it in the plastic tub that's left over, then stow the tub down in the basement again. it may get me past inspection at least. Giving me more time. This is a nightmare.

I'm in a hell of my own flaws and I can't get loose. I'm embearrassed for myself and angry at myself, I'm in a near full on panic attack with the shakes and wanting to cry. I can barely walk around due to exhaustion and yet I've gotta figure out how to get myself out of this one in the next ten hours and I'm not sure if or where sleep comes into it. If it doesn't it may well make me so sick that I have to go to the emergency room.

[darkshines]

Surely they know you are disabled and might not be able to do this all yourself? I really worry about you, I think you would benefit from a carer or at least someone who can come in and help with cleaning, meds and food

[rovingjack]

The thing is under most situations I can cope. But given recent occurances I've been struggling just to get back to normal, for me. It's not so much that I'm not able to deal with the inspection, it's that after loosing my teeth and having to readjust to foods again, while reacting badly to food that was altered or contaminated, while getting only 40 hours notice, while having only had 4 hours leep the night before notice, while being a pack rat, while having recently been employed for such long hours and hard work that I neglected home, while currently struggling with paperwork for government benefits relating to employment/disability/sudden unemployment again/ dental procedure, while facing a sudden social isolation and abscence of fun in my life.

I just was not prepared to deal with it all going to crap at the same time. It shouldn't surprise me, it happens all the time that things cluster when they go wrong for me, but here I am caught flatfooted again.

I'm improvising madly. I caught two hours sleep this morning, Had my online rants. I got up and donated a huge tub full of clothes that are 130 LBS too big for me now to charity. and some books I never much enjoyed. While there I got all new food, and some empty cardboard boxes. I'm boxing it all indescriminantly as fast as I can and stowing it in basment and car. so that I can ration the sorting and decluttering to a rational timeframe for me.

I will be tired tonight and possible sick for a day or two, but I should have medical coverage still and should I need it I can go to hospital to get set right again. It's less about getting it done right, and more about deferring the doing to a managble time frame.

[Ulysses Reynolds]

Flaming Blizzard. 

Blizzard Entertainment?

Yep them.

Way I see it, you just gotta wait a couple months and they'll have a server emulator that works with Diablo 3 that you can host on own computer. Bye, bye battle.net.

[rovingjack]

By the way Darkshines, thanks for the concern, (odd to think that worrying somebody else is a posative thing and useful too) but that helped me a bit.

Holi moley. I made it, and geeze Loise this room hasn't looked this good in three years. The closet is crambed full of crap though. and theres gotta be three days food budget in change on the floor   .

In the future the plan is to weed out everything I havn't used in the last three years, a little at a time. I thinking I'm going with three times a week, one grocery bag full of donations to thrift stores. I might get a table at a flea market (though I hear their tiny, lol) and be the used book and retro decor guy. And I'm going to be trying a new policy for myself. No buying anything other than food, and the occasional waistcoat, without letting go of something else of equal of grater volume.

So I'll go through my paper horde and find the most nessesary documents, and recycle everything else. Then the bags I have leftover get used on monday for a few donations. I'll start giving them as gifts. Sign up for paperback swap, and offer things for trade on craigslist for things I need.

I may also get more active in participating in my local library, I've been meaning to look into starting an independant scholars group, and use them for casual reading books while still collecting the more difficult to find and ecclectic stuff.

It's nice not to have this impending deadline to reorder my whole existance. But I feel a reordering is not entirely out of the question. Just maybe next time could we try to not basically do the same thing as moving house with only 42 hours notice, while sick, and without friends to help.

[Birdnest]

By the way Sarkshines, thanks for the concern, (odd to think that worrying somebody else is a posative thing and useful too) but that helped me a bit.

Holi moley. I made it, and geeze Loise this room hasn't looked this good in three years. The closet is crambed full of crap though. and theres gotta be three days food budget in change on the floor  .

In the future the plan is to weed out everything I havn't used in the last three years, a little at a time. I thinking I'm going with three times a week, one grocery bag full of donations to thrift stores. I might get a table at a flea market (though I hear their tiny, lol) and be the used book and retro decor guy. And I'm going to be trying a new policy for myself. No buying anything other than food, and the occasional waistcoat, without letting go of something else of equal of grater volume.

So I'll go through my paper horde and find the most nessesary documents, and recycle everything else. Then the bags I have leftover get used on monday for a few donations. I'll start giving them as gifts. Sign up for paperback swap, and offer things for trade on craigslist for things I need.

I may also get more active in participating in my local library, I've been meaning to look into starting an independant scholars group, and use them for casual reading books while still collecting the more difficult to find and ecclectic stuff.

It's nice not to have this impending deadline to reorder my whole existance. But I feel a reordering is not entirely out of the question. Just maybe next time could we try to not basically do the same thing as moving house with only 42 hours notice, while sick, and without friends to help.

Good Show mate!!

"Enjoy all that lemonade made from all those lemons"  An excellent ending to what seemed to be drastic circumstances.   

[rovingjack]

light hearted Gah, as not to disrail the focus of the thread. Now that the scroll saw is in a locker behind boxes of stuff in the basement... I have the sudden urge to do woodworking again. 

and yess I had a scroll saw and several types of wood in my bedroom, along with several costumes and props, and work clothes, a rock drillpress, a billion and one books and several things in various states of repair. That was half the problem.

[ForestB]

My gahhh for today, I went and got glass for my fusing project ( a thirty mile drive) got home and discovered my kiln needs some work..it's a five dollar fix, but I could have gotten what I needed while I was at that particular store!!! Of course I didn't find out until I got home... Now my latest project is on hold until I get to a store that carries element pins to hold the heating element in...