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Author Topic: The Not So Secret Society  (Read 65472 times)
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #325 on: January 05, 2012, 11:19:19 am »

*peers over Doc Cubinoid's shoulder at the note*

Any chance it reads as 'Do not put this octopus over your face'?
Logged

Choose a code to live by, die by it if you have to.
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #326 on: January 05, 2012, 12:53:49 pm »

The Private taps his foot impatiently, for those who know the fine work of Samuel Morse and his co-inventors, you suspect he is tapping a message.

"Am. I. a. rabbit. or. not?"

He's under a lot of stress, he may not mean rabbit.
Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #327 on: January 05, 2012, 01:04:35 pm »

*picks up convenient lump-hammer and taps out brief reply on the Private's forehead*

.-- .- .. - -..-. ..-. .. --. .... - .. -. --. -..-. --- -.-. - --- .--. ..- ...

(wait fighting octopus)

*turns to the prostrate form by the fire-grate and applies the hammer with great vigour*

Hold on, Miss, I think it's coming loose! Or at least it's tenderised...

[thinks - wow, that old proverb's right - everything does look like a nail]
« Last Edit: January 05, 2012, 01:17:51 pm by Fairley B. Strange » Logged
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #328 on: January 05, 2012, 04:35:20 pm »

*Turns paper the right way around...

"Ah yes...so it does!"

"Well done, Mr. Strange! I think you have nailed it."

*Pulling the octopus firmly by the head SUUCK!! PLOP! and holds it aloft in one hand, like a butler holding a tray of used china. Whips out small vial of smelling salts and places under Miss Adlers nose

"Now, now, we can't have you fainting..."

*Wafts near the flaccid octopus' beak
"You look like you could do with a little too"

*Passes it to the Private
"And you should be able to self administer, Private. There is just one thing that puzzles me though...whilst looking inside your head via your nasal cavities, I located an octopus and a scroll of written instructions...but I could not find a brain. So the question is, Private Weasel..."

*Points melodramatically at the Private

"Where is your brain? Hmm? Answer me that!"


Logged

We are proud to present the Surrey Steampunk Convivial, for your pleasure:
Evelyn Adler
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lady of Dorkness


« Reply #329 on: January 05, 2012, 05:38:36 pm »

*coughs as she comes to, sits up, staring around wildly*

Crikey! That was unpleasant!

*looks at the octopus, patting it lightly on the head*

Poor little bugger, that gave you a fright, didn't it? And you ruined my hair!

Sir Cubinoid - now that we have established that the Private, whatever he is, has no brain - which may be an advantage for a soldier, come to think of it - maybe it would be a good idea to check if he has a heart?
Logged

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. (Cecil Beaton)
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #330 on: January 06, 2012, 11:09:24 am »

*Looks doubtfully at the butter knife.

"I feel confident about this. I can do this. I can."

Logged
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #331 on: January 06, 2012, 02:03:08 pm »

Mmmf Mmm? Mmmm!

The Private starts removing cutlery and flatware from his mouth, finally spitting out an impliment that is seemingly for taking a person's eye out.  It might be a melon baller, who knows.

"I'd rather you didn't. I had my physical and I've passed.  I'm not a robot clearly, Can we look to the matter at hand?"

The Private sighs shaking his head.

"You know, sometimes you human fleshbags really amuse me."

"Um, whoops"
Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #332 on: January 06, 2012, 02:23:05 pm »

*regards the empty-headed yet still animated Private with awe*

[thinks: If only we can get him onto the ballot, he's qualified to be next PM....]

Well, Doc, the matter literally at your hand is our new squishy visitor.
Any idea what he is - besides 'Lunch' - and what was he up to in there?
Logged
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #333 on: January 06, 2012, 02:39:51 pm »

"Hey...wait just a moment! The sound of ticking is coming from this octopus! And look! Look at the eyes! There are dials inside them...I have a feeling this may in fact be a Clocktopus."
Logged
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #334 on: January 06, 2012, 03:06:56 pm »

"Heh, clocktopus, nice one."

The Private sidles towards the door, with theatrical surreptitiousness.

"I'll, just go shall I?"
Logged
Evelyn Adler
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lady of Dorkness


« Reply #335 on: January 06, 2012, 04:41:54 pm »

*glares at the Private, arms folded, foot tapping*

And where do you think you are going, Sir?
Logged
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #336 on: January 06, 2012, 04:54:12 pm »

The Private looks sheepish and stares at his feet in the matter of a chastised school boy/

"Nowhere miss, just don't want to be shot for being a robot"

"Um, alleged robot"

“I promise I wont try and ‘Destroy All Humans’ with my death canon”

“Um, alleged death canon”

“Promise” he added, hopefully.
Logged
Evelyn Adler
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lady of Dorkness


« Reply #337 on: January 06, 2012, 04:58:27 pm »

"Um.. excuse me, I guess I didn't hear you right - what was that part in the middle?
The one with the death cannon?"
Logged
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #338 on: January 06, 2012, 05:25:00 pm »

“Alleged Death Canon Miss” reminded the Private.

“It’s alleged a big gun, that’s fitted into my ar…. Allegedly fitted into my arm”

“It’s essentially a field medicine amputation laser, it’s for cauterising flesh in an emergency battle situation.  It’s really useful.”

“Especially as it can cauterising the flesh of a wounded soldier at 300 yards.”

“Which gives it, um, other uses on the field of battle too.

The Private looked shyly towards the door, unable to make eye contact with anybody else in the room.

“Can I go now Miss?”
Logged
Evelyn Adler
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lady of Dorkness


« Reply #339 on: January 06, 2012, 06:14:38 pm »

*looks at the Private over the rim of her (suddenly appeared) spectacles with a very strict expression*

"I really think we should have a look at that alleged cannon of yours first, that's allegedly fitted into your arm.
You could allegedly hurt someone! Accidentally of course!"
Logged
Private Weasel
Guest
« Reply #340 on: January 06, 2012, 06:17:56 pm »

"But then it would be a confirmed canon Miss and the strange man who out spoons in my mouth will shoot me"


"I'd rather not be shot, it invalidates any potential warranty I might or might not have"
Logged
Evelyn Adler
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Lady of Dorkness


« Reply #341 on: January 06, 2012, 06:23:19 pm »

"Confirmed canon, right, hadn't thought of that. We can't have that of course! Would be absolutely against the not existing rules of our completely fictional society!

Well, then... have a good day and try not to kill anyone, if you please!"
Logged
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #342 on: January 06, 2012, 11:00:39 pm »

"Oh...it was a spoon..."

Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #343 on: January 08, 2012, 01:56:03 pm »

I suppose that just leaves the Clocktopus, and no custard... better pass those smelling-salts.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2012, 02:02:08 pm by Fairley B. Strange » Logged
Banfili
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia



« Reply #344 on: January 08, 2012, 02:06:12 pm »

I have a book called "How to Start Your own Secret Society" by Nick Harding, which is filled with all sorts of helpful hints and tips if anyone ever wanted to start a secret secret society, which no one has done, have they? At least, not without telling!
 Grin
Logged
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #345 on: January 08, 2012, 06:16:55 pm »

"How to start a secret society? Now why would anyone want to do that?"

*Edges towards the emergency bell hidden under the table...
Logged
mark V
Snr. Officer
****
England England


where's the firing shovel

1CC1_36006
« Reply #346 on: January 08, 2012, 08:47:48 pm »

pops head up from hatch under the table "it would be best not to use that button at the moment as Igor is connected to it,  and you know what he's like with electricity, I'm helping him with the plumbing down here at present and it is rather unstable"  retreats back into the depths clutching meter and large adjustable spanner
Logged

general hammer abuser former lawnmower fireman
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #347 on: January 08, 2012, 09:05:39 pm »

Coughs very loudly, and rather a lot, whilst heading over the other side of the room towards the secret klaxon bell pull, cunningly disguised as a salt celler.
Logged
Angus A Fitziron
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Research Air Ship R.A.S. 'Saorsa'


« Reply #348 on: January 08, 2012, 11:25:05 pm »

*rushes into room and grabs salt celler (which is now obviously just a salt celler)

"sorry, can't stop, emergency with the plumbing, Igor needs this for some emergency electrolysis, we also need a supply of electricity - any ideas?"

...


"er, if so, keep them to yourselves - this being a not so secret society. Must dash..."
Logged

Airship Artificer, part-time romantik and amateur Natural Philosopher

"wee all here are much troubled with the loss of poor Thompson & Sutton"
Cubinoid
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Cubinoid and Tixia Loxtonian

cubinoid
WWW
« Reply #349 on: January 09, 2012, 12:08:14 am »

*Points towards the sign above the door that bears the legend, "Dynamo store room"

"In there old chap...ahem."

*Clears throat a little more whilst smiling nervously and edging away from Banfili, whilst feeling with left shoe for the under-floor 'Intruder alert' bell push button...
Logged
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