Author Topic: Temporal Anomaly Hunters (Read 25901 times)

augur · « **on:** September 14, 2011, 12:34:31 am »

Greetings fellow hunters. I am an agent of the Home Office, seeking factual information about the temporal anomalies that abound throughout the world, and in particular those that occur within my local vicinity.

Temporal Anomaly Hunters are tasked with locating eddies in the time-space continuum at given co-ordinates, as advised by the Home Office. We then report our finds back to the Home Office, where the scientists compile the data on their Difference Engines in the hope of isolating the cause of these earthquakes in time.

Occasionally, objects may pass through an anomaly and enter our plane of existence. When this happens it is our responsibility to deal with the object prudently and inconspicuously, so as to not alarm the general public.

The role of the Temporal Anomaly Hunters is vital to the security of our planet. This metaphysical group is a place for hunters all over the world to discuss their operations, to suggest ideas for hunting for these tears in the fabric of time-space in steampunk costume without panicing the public, and to discuss objects found and sent through anomalies. Feel free to post links to your agent profile and to your individual logs as you locate anomalies.

Kasim Kemal · « **Reply #1 on:** September 14, 2011, 12:47:40 am »

Just passing through.
Can you please tell me what the correct time is?

augur · « **Reply #2 on:** September 14, 2011, 01:28:15 am »

Quote from: Kasim Kemal on September 14, 2011, 12:47:40 am

Can you please tell me what the correct time is?

Certainly, I can tell you the correct time. But in order to do so I would first need to know where exactly you are and what your current state is, as time is relative, and it depends on an observational reference frame tied to the state of motion of the observer. Thus I would also need to locate myself precisely and account for the geometric differential between your fixed position and my own, and then factor in for each of us our velocity and acceleration. Of course, by the time we have completed all these calculations, the resultant data set would be obsolete anyway.

MWBailey · « **Reply #3 on:** September 14, 2011, 02:45:16 am »

I believe that if one could find the eminent Professor Bear(the Nullologist), one might be able to solve this particular conundrum relatively quickly...

Cubinoid · « **Reply #4 on:** January 03, 2012, 02:40:49 am »

Ah, sorry. Wrong door.
I occasionally shoot foxes and mistook this for the Temporary Animal-y Hunters.

They usually start at eight, but it's half past and no-one has materialised yet.

Arabella Periscope · « **Reply #5 on:** January 17, 2012, 12:59:25 am »

Sir,

I believe I may have located a temporal anomaly, but it is not spatial -- that is to say, what are the criteria? This present-time incongruity is located on the second floor of a small and shabby building dated 1906. The first floor being a modern mercantile outlet. Yet looking up at the windows from the pavement outside . . . It is difficult to determine, the dust, and the reflections, but . . . Is it always the case that such an anomaly is connected to the earth?

Yours,

An Earnest Amateur

Arabella Periscope · « **Reply #6 on:** January 23, 2012, 01:51:04 am »

PS

There is now a small terrier at the window, of the type kept by the soldiers in British India. Can a live creature enter through a spatial/temporal anomaly? How should it be dealt with? It is barking soundlessly...

Mr Peter Harrow, Esq · « **Reply #7 on:** January 23, 2012, 03:00:47 pm »

There is a temporal anomaly somewhere in North London near the Northern Line Underground track. Trains announced as being only 1 Minute away take in fact several minutes to reach the station, if they reach it at all.

Clearly there is a temporal anomaly causing a time dilation effect, what is a minute to the train driver is in fact 10 minutes to the objective observer.

Has anyone else experienced this phenomena?

Cubinoid · « **Reply #8 on:** January 23, 2012, 05:32:40 pm »

It appears to be affecting the bus stop at Worcester Park as well.

Camellia Wingnut · « **Reply #9 on:** January 24, 2012, 09:08:36 pm »

Dear Sir,
I perused your Temporal anomaly post with a modest flutter of excitement beneath a certain structure of whalebone.
Having entered the present through such an anomalous portal I have taken up the profession of historian in order to more fully investigate the mysteries of time. As all scholars know, world history can be made sense of only with the help of a theory such as yours.
In the course of my rather prolonged lifetime, I have acquired a collection of objects which have in common their temporally anomalous origins. I should like to ask your correspondents whether they can identify some of these, i.e.;
a) A camel saddle, with a cruciform pommel, woodworm, and what appears to be either a bloodstain or a teastain on the leather - and it is hard to say which would be more sinister;
b) A candlestick telephone which operates without being plugged in, and which appears to transmit messages in an unknown language - Indo-european root? - from Beyond?
c) A parasol of tattered lace which makes any lady who stands beneath it enchantingly (and alas! temporarily) pretty;
d) A wooden statue of a Lama, with one arm sawn off and a small house sparrow sitting on its pointed hat.
Daguerrotypes of each available upon request.
C. W.

Oneiros · « **Reply #10 on:** January 24, 2012, 10:22:15 pm »

Quote from: augur on September 14, 2011, 12:34:31 am

Greetings fellow hunters. I am an agent of the Home Office, seeking factual information about the temporal anomalies that abound throughout the world, and in particular those that occur within my local vicinity.

Temporal Anomaly Hunters are tasked with locating eddies in the time-space continuum at given co-ordinates, as advised by the Home Office. We then report our finds back to the Home Office, where the scientists compile the data on their Difference Engines in the hope of isolating the cause of these earthquakes in time.

Occasionally, objects may pass through an anomaly and enter our plane of existence. When this happens it is our responsibility to deal with the object prudently and inconspicuously, so as to not alarm the general public.

The role of the Temporal Anomaly Hunters is vital to the security of our planet. This metaphysical group is a place for hunters all over the world to discuss their operations, to suggest ideas for hunting for these tears in the fabric of time-space in steampunk costume without panicing the public, and to discuss objects found and sent through anomalies. Feel free to post links to your agent profile and to your individual logs as you locate anomalies.

So far, under the auspics of my Parrot, Paxo. I have discovered and catalogued 143 such anomalies.

Camellia Wingnut · « **Reply #11 on:** January 25, 2012, 01:09:06 am »

Dear Sir,
Regarding my earlier remarks in re temporally transported objects. I find upon reviewing your post that I had overlooked the prospect of DANGER emanating from those in my possession. I have had to resort to sal volatile in order to feel equal to confronting them.
Have you any advice upon methods of containment? Perhaps there are other objects which could be juxtaposed and neutralize a threat?
Please consult the relevant Home Office files.
The camel saddle is particularly menacing. Oh, dear. It moved! Ugh! It spat!
How does one treat bombazine marred by camel spit?
I must consult Inquire Within About Everything (Google Free E-book).
Excuse me, gentlemen.
CW

Tiberius Montgomery Pratt · « **Reply #12 on:** February 13, 2012, 09:13:24 pm »

I found this vortex inside a bus terminal locker at Union Station, in Arkham, Massachusetts

Dose that count as a Temporal Anomaly ?

MWBailey · « **Reply #13 on:** February 13, 2012, 09:21:25 pm »

was the locker installed by a technician named David Jones?

greatestescaper · « **Reply #14 on:** February 16, 2012, 04:33:26 am »

ANOMALY REPORT [stop] DAVIS MOUNTAIN RANGE [stop] ON THIS NIGHT FEB 15 1872 [stop] THIS MORNING WAS FEB 15 2012 [stop] CARS VANISH ROUTE 118 N [stop] APACHES SEEN ON ROUTE 118 [stop] REQUEST ORDERS OF RESPONSE= GREATESTESCAPER [end]

Arabella Periscope · « **Reply #15 on:** February 16, 2012, 11:35:35 pm »

STAND BY - STOP - SUGGEST HANG ON TO HAT - STOP - AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS HEAD OFFICE!

greatestescaper · « **Reply #16 on:** February 16, 2012, 11:45:09 pm »

NO CAR [stop] AFRAID TO DRIVE [stop] WALKED THROUGH 3 CENTURIES [stop] DATE NOW FEB 16 1923 = GREATESTESCAPER [end]

Oneiros · « **Reply #17 on:** February 17, 2012, 04:28:25 pm »

Please, please, please [stop]

BB BlackDog · « **Reply #18 on:** March 01, 2012, 03:56:19 pm »

Dam blast and Bugger.
Thought I'd still be here.
I'll come back earlier.

MWBailey · « **Reply #19 on:** March 12, 2012, 07:25:09 am »

Do as you like, I'll never be here, every tuesday at eleven in the afternoon. With spats on.

Crescat Scientia · « **Reply #20 on:** July 13, 2012, 07:24:29 pm »

Tremendous pity about the king, what? Still, the news from Churchill about the Bomb is quite frightfully exciting. But poor little Elizabeth, what sort of a queen d'you think she'll be? And tea, oh thank goodness it's not rationed any more. But, er, do stay out of London this holiday shopping season. Word to the wise.

I say, is this not, er ... (consults newsmagazine) 1952?

Lucius Baxter · « **Reply #21 on:** July 13, 2012, 09:29:26 pm »

1952? I thought it was 1926... Drat... But I do believe that there may be an anomaly somewhere along the 58 bus route. The buses sometimes don't turn up until 20 minutes after they were meant to come... and sometimes they all come together at once.

Kittybriton · « **Reply #22 on:** July 19, 2012, 02:00:12 am »

Quote from: Mr Peter Harrow, Esq on January 23, 2012, 03:00:47 pm

There is a temporal anomaly somewhere in North London near the Northern Line Underground track. Trains announced as being only 1 Minute away take in fact several minutes to reach the station, if they reach it at all.

Clearly there is a temporal anomaly causing a time dilation effect, what is a minute to the train driver is in fact 10 minutes to the objective observer.

Has anyone else experienced this phenomena?

What you describe is so common in households shared by the sexes that the phenomenon is often overlooked, the typical instance being the lady who spends five minutes in the bathroom while her gentleman companion observes the passage of an hour as he waits without.

Of particular interest to me are the "out-of-place" artefacts that pose perplexing problems for the archaeologist, for example, a gold chain embedded in a piece of otherwise unremarkable coal.

And I should also like to draw attention of the members to the following fragment, which I collected during my travels:

MWBailey · « **Reply #23 on:** July 19, 2012, 06:34:26 am »

Yes, well, that Bede was always a wily fellow...

Nikola Tesla · « **Reply #24 on:** September 17, 2012, 04:38:29 am »

Maybe I shouldn't come in here, now that I think about it...

*checks dates on his own last two posts*

Yep, it seems to have happened again. Should I be here or shouldn't I be?

News:

Author Topic: Temporal Anomaly Hunters (Read 25901 times)

Tiberius Montgomery Pratt