Bad news.

[sallyinwales]

Sounds like you combined a warm and tender send-off with a well-justified celebration of your little boy's far too brief existance. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Mercury Wells]

Thank you Bicyclebuilder, that was very moving thank you for sharing, rest in peace Lucas.  

[Xenos]

That actually sounds like the way it should be done, mate.  Beautiful, and solomn at the same time.  Once again, words fail me; there's nothing I can say that has not been said.  Just know you and yours are in the thoughts of me and mine.

[Argus Fairbrass]

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss mate.

[bicyclebuilder]

Thank you all for your condolences. We are trying to pick up our lives. I've got one more week off, due to vacation. After that I'm planning on taking another week off. My boss is very helpfull, installed an airconditioner in our bedroom for my wife and another for Lucas room during the days he was here at home. My wife is recovering from giving birth and with little Amber running around, it would be better if someone stayed home to lend a hand. When I go back to work, I first want a talk with the companies doctor to ask how to start working again. I'd expect concentration and interaction with costumers would be hard to do. We'll see...

Besides all the nice words from family, friends and even strangers, there were some awkward moments last week.

We wrote Lucas funeral cards to send to all our family and friends. The post office has special big envelopes for this and you have to bring this to a central post office down town. I went there myself with little Amber to accompany me. The lady at the post office asked me, just for conversation, if it was a young person who died. I said yes, very young. "How young" she asked. At that time, I started to well up. "about 45 minutes"... "ehrm, oh, eh, I'm...I'm sorry." In hindsight I can kind of laugh at that moment, you know, in an embarrassed kind of way.

The midwife, doctors at the hospital and general practitioner all informed the maternity centre what happened. Usually the maternity centre calls you on the 8th day the baby is born, for an appointment to examine the new born baby. Guess who called on that day (the day Lucas was buried!). 

One of our neighbours came home yesterday from vacation, not knowing of anything that happened last week. He just picked up the mail and found our card. He opened it half way unloading the car. At that time, we went outside to go and buy groceries. "Hey neighbour, congratulations with your son!" My wife:"ehm, did you read the card right?"

The way we try to pick up the pieces is to talk, talk, talk. A lot. To keep things light every ones in a while, we have Amber. And sometimes our twisted sense of humor. Moments like mentioned above, keeps us on our feet.

A new twist of life is happening to a friend of my wife. She's 33 weeks pregnant and her water broke last night. A completely different situation, but it makes us think about Lucas. She's at the hospital right now and they are trying to hold back the baby for as long as possible. In the mean time, they gave the baby medicine to mature the lungs, in order to give him the most chance as possible.

[Will Howard]

Prayers for your wife's friend & her baby.

[bicyclebuilder]

Been a while since I've posted on this thread.
My wife's friend and her baby are both alive and healthy, thank god.

I think in a couple of weeks I can change this thread into "good news".
My wife is pregnant! Only a couple of weeks (we think about 5). Now the circus begins, first echo, than Chorionic villus sampling to determin if the foetus has the decease Lucas* had. This is a 75% chance it doesn't.

[Lady Ava]

Been a while since I've posted on this thread.
My wife's friend and her baby are both alive and healthy, thank god.

I think in a couple of weeks I can change this thread into "good news".
My wife is pregnant! Only a couple of weeks (we think about 5). Now the circus begins, first echo, than Chorionic villus sampling to determin if the foetus has the decease Lucas* had. This is a 75% chance it doesn't.

All of this is really good news! Huray for you and your family, bicyclebuilder!

[Argus Fairbrass]

Cogratulations! (no that isn't a spelling mistake) here's hoping for a positive outcome. 

[BB BlackDog]

Been a while since I've posted on this thread.
My wife's friend and her baby are both alive and healthy, thank god.

I think in a couple of weeks I can change this thread into "good news".
My wife is pregnant! Only a couple of weeks (we think about 5). Now the circus begins, first echo, than Chorionic villus sampling to determin if the foetus has the decease Lucas* had. This is a 75% chance it doesn't.

Excellent news

[Captain Quinlin Hopkins]

I've been wrapped up in my own world far too much as I'd completely missed this.  I am glad that things have taken a turn for the better as this brought tears to my eyes.  We often forget to cherish every moment we are allowed to borrow from father time.  Thank you for sharing such a intimate moment of your life. We wish you the best of luck and will be sending our good thoughts along with everyone else. I hope the pending good news will bring some joy to your lives. 

My sincerest condolences, though belated.   

[Hez]

Congratulations and prayers for the health of both Mom and the new little one.

[bicyclebuilder]

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers.
I'll keep you posted.

[aligov]

This is wonderful news, brought a smile to my face on a grey day.
Congratulations
xxx

[toxickun]

i read everything and aww man im sorry to hear about your son. i hope you and your wife is alright.

[KABAR2]

This is the first I knew of this thread, belated condolences on your son,
I glad to see that you both are doing well and expecting again,
I Will keep you in my prayers for an uneventful pregnancy and a happy healthy
baby.....

Allen <><

[bicyclebuilder]

It's been more than half a year now and we are doing fine, considering circumstances. We are remarkably quick at giving Lucas's* death a "comfortable" spot in our lives. I'm glad he didn't suffer much, but also (and this might be weird) I'm glad we didn't have a lot of time to bond.
We both carry the decease Lucas* had, so there is no way we can blame one or the other. We are equal. The decease is not gender dominant, so a boy or girl is both an option.
Our 2 1/2 year old daughter LOVES to go to the cemetery, to visit Lucas*. We have no logical explanation why. There is nothing what a 2 1/2 year old girl would like. No toys, no playground, no happy people there, the road to the cemetery is rather boring. Somehow she's exited when we mention to visit Lucas*.
For now, we are waiting to go to the hospital for test and the results. I think after a month and a half we know more.

[elvisroe]

Hey BB - I too missed this thread and was heartbroken to read of your loss.  I'm so pleased to hear that you're pregnant again and will put in a prayer for this new life in the making. 

My wife and I have suffered 5 miscarriages and a stillbirth over the last 3 years so I can empathise with your grief.  We have recently been blessed with a beautiful baby girl and I think the fog is beginning to clear - but it was an anxious 9 months in the lead up!  So be strong, lean on each other and love that little creature with all your heart -  Where there's life there's hope!

It's funny what you said about your daughter's interest in her brother's grave.  Our 5 year old has been much the same and sometimes talks to the tree we planted for her stillborn brother.  Every night through our last pregnancy she prayed that her sister would be made right and wouldn't die.  She was soooooo excited when Molly was born and kept repeating "i can't believe it!"  I think she will never take her sister for granted and appreciate her all the more for the loss she shared with us.  I think kids understand more than we give them credit for.

God bless
Chris

[Will Howard]

I'll add the three of you to my prayers.

[Arceye]

Bicyclebuilder I have not been in here much of late, so please accept my belated condolences and sympathies.

[sebastian Inkerman]

I have to apologise that I hadn't seen this post originally, not going to dwell on the condolences rather than to say congratulations on the new bean. Here's hoping that all goes well for you guys.

[Athanor]

I canonly repeat what has already been said. You are all in my thoughts.

All the best.

Athanor.

[bicyclebuilder]

This afternoon we go to the hospital for the first echo. This will determen how old the foetus is and from there the Chorionic villus sampling is planned. Unfortunately, my wife is loosing some blood. Not a lot, but just enough to notice. On the other hand, not to much to say:"it's a miscarriage". She has been couching a lot because she had a cold. Perhaps she popped a vein or something. I don't know... The next couple of hours/days/weeks/months are going to be stressfull.

Fingers crossed.

[GabrielCrimson]

we'll all be thinking about you, here's hoping everything goes great.

[Angus A Fitziron]

we'll all be thinking about you, here's hoping everything goes great.

Same here, best wishes to the bicyclebuilder clan.

ffitz