Bad news.

Something way off topic.

Last Friday afternoon, my wife went into labor. It started around 5 o'clock and at 7.30 we went to the hospital down town. The doctor said she was starting and because the plan was to give birth at an academic hospital an hour drive away, we decided to rush to that hospital with an ambulance. Within a half an hour we arrived there.
The doctors there where very friendly and explaining every step of the way. They asked us if, when the little guy couldn't get born the regular way, he would come with surgical help. Our first answer was:"of course, try all you can!" Then the doctor explained the baby needs the stress of getting born to get the adrenaline pumping, in order to start the breathing better. That changed our decision to the normal way of getting born, without monitoring the baby's heart. He had to come anyway and the monitoring would only slow the labor down.
Lucas (that's his name) was born on Juli 30Th at 2.52 am. He was fighting for his life for over 45 minutes, but his lungs were not developed enough to breath. The doctors tried to give Lucas oxygen but like I've said, the lungs didn't obsorb the air. Lucas slowly died in our arms.
Because of our religion, we wanted Lucas to be baptised, so the hospital arranged a priest to do that. At that time my sisters, parents, wife's parents and brother arrived to stand by us. We all held Lucas and had the chance to cuddle with him.
His full name is Lucas Stephanus Joseph Gerardus. (Stephanus after my name, Steven. Joseph, my dad. Gerardus after my wife's father.) Erie twist of circumstance, my wife's father died 16 years ago on the same day my wife went into labor. At the hospital, a super clean environment, there was a big fly in the room. My wife and I decided that would have to be her father watching over us. The fly stayed in the room the whole time, until Lucas died. Our interpretation of that is that grandpa Gerrit took care of Lucas. Back home, in our bedroom there was again a big fly on the outside of our window. It might seem funny, but the knowledge of that fly being grandpa, gives us peace.

Something for those who want to reply. Don't hesitate to post. Nothing you say or ask is wrong. If you are more comfortable to PM, please do. My wife and I try to talk as much as possible about whatever we feel or think. We feel that that's the way to try and deal with our loss. So every reply, question or remark is welcome. I might not answer right away, because we have a lot to do before Lucas is going to be buried. (Next Friday)