*Folds newspaper and holds it out*
Here you go, this should help get the fire started....besides, it seems to be around 6 month out of date.
*eye catches a news item*
OH!... It says here that soon we will all be heating our homes and buildings with something called "Gas Fires"!
Sounds dangerous to me,I don't see that catching on! No sir, Coal is where the healthy heating is! And so it shall remain!!
*still reading paper*
Hmmm, it seems that Alexander Graham Bell chap who makes the phoney thing, is being sued by his assistant Mr Thomas Augustus Watson, for "sexual harassment" - says here that Mr Bell was heard by witnesses to call his assistant into his office. There is some dispute about the actual words used, as Mr Bell claims it was a work related request of "Mr. Watson - Come here - I want to see you,". However Thomas Watson, remembered it as "Mr. Watson - Come here - I want you".
"Mr Bell denies that shortly after he followed with another call of "Bring wine, and wear something leather!, but agrees he may have called and offered a deal on replacement windows and offers on new kitchens at discounted prices."
My word! What is the world coming to... *shakes head and drops newspaper onto the pile of logs*
