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Author Topic: >The Smoking Room< The Second Storey  (Read 98896 times)
The Squire
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


Sans Peur


« Reply #650 on: March 05, 2013, 04:00:46 am »

The bar door swings open. A caped and top-hatted blackness swirls in, the night's fog clinging to the moist wool of the gentleman's vêtements, making art nouveau curly-ques in the dim gaslight. Wordlessly, he doffs the hat and removes the cape in the Spanish style, known among bullfighting aficionados as the Veronica de Manolete. In three quick steps, he stands before the gentleman with the bottle. A hand gloved in soft caramel-colored leather with only a thumb and and two fingers reaches for and takes the proffered snifter, the heels click and there is the slightest, but most courteous nod of the head. The glass is held to the light. Rays from the gas lamp shoot through the swirling liquid, illuminating a gnarled and bearded face with gold. He sniffs the escaping esters gently. AAhhhhh...The glass touches his lips...he speaks


    "WHEN I heard the learn’d astronomer;   
     When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;   
     When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;   
     When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room...   
   

Another sip. Turning to the host, "Sir, I thank you. I have of late been mired in worldly matters of dubious consequence that were tending to despair. I was drawn here tonight by a kind of 'homesickness.' This magickal elixir of yours, made I believe, by spirit makers of druidic temperament, has restored my powers and put matters to right, as it were. I leave you with the remainder of Mr. Whitman's verse...


     How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;            
     Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,   
     In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,   
     Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars."


A Last Sip. The hat and cape restored. Three quick steps and out the door. As the fog swirls once again around the closing door, we hear a faint "Merci Beaucoup, Monsieur! À DIEU!"



Logged

"You don't mind breaking the law?"
        "Not in the least."
"Nor running a chance of arrest?"
        "Not in a good cause."
"Oh, the cause is excellent!"
         "Then I am your man."
walkthebassline
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States



« Reply #651 on: March 12, 2013, 02:53:50 am »

Dark terrors threatened him for what seemed like millennia. At times, violent eddies and vicious black holes seemed to pull him to and fro. Time itself seemed to pause, as horrible Evil progressed unchecked throughout all of reality. Dark forces began to break into the world, destroying everything in their wake. All was lost...

...until he opened his eyes, and found it was merely a rosebush dripping with rain. As he extricated his hair and hat from the thorns, he happened to look at his surroundings. Behold! A door was nearby. He stepped over to it, and happily found the door unlocked. As he stepped inside, he was greeted by reassuring scents of pipe tobacco and whiskey, as well as a roaring fire.

"Ah, I see the party has resumed. And I believe I spy a bottle of bourbon. If there is a clean glass to be found, or at least a dry one, we shall be in business again."
Logged

"Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you."

~ David St. Hubbins
Octavius von Gilgamesh
Immortal
**
Australia Australia


Captain of the Ariadne's Sorrow


« Reply #652 on: March 12, 2013, 03:18:28 am »

A hideous sounds assaults his ears, a keening cry that threatens to drive him insane. At times it drops to a whisper, barely heard over the sound of his frantically beating heart, but no true words can be deciphered. He struggles, not to hear too clearly, for he fears that to understand the words, would reduce him to a gibbering wreck. He feels a presence standing over him, and sharp intake and exhalation of breath causing him to start and open his eyes to behold...

A butterfly nibbling at a strand of cotton, loose upon his shirt. He looks around and realise with a start that he is seated on the balcony of the bar, the Sun dappling his skin as it comes over to railing.
"Right, I need a drink, a nice robust cider if you have one. Cheers"
Logged

May the gods stand between you and harm, in all the empty places where you must walk.
JR Murray
Deck Hand
*
Australia Australia



« Reply #653 on: March 13, 2013, 12:13:14 pm »

What seemed like years ago, a man had innocently asked for a cider. As a barman of inexplicable exactitude, the man who had access to a portal that lead to all bars, everywhere and everywhen, heard the cry, and took it literally. He exited his B-space portal and grabbed a fistful of gold from his treasure room.
He skipped over the passages and corridors until he came to a land, then known as Van Diemens land. he purchased some of the best land for miles around, and hired a man called Saltbush John, who truly knew his apples. After 20 years of grafting and tasting, the best tree, filled with cruchy, bittersweet apples was born. JR thanked John, and let him go onto his next chapter.
Jumping ten years into the future, JR emerged from the portal located in the local pub, and made his way to the orchard he owned. The trees planted by Saltbush John were large and full of fruit. He built a distillery, and hired the man power to complete the task at hand.
Another jump and the first batch was breached. It was duly tasted and discarded. It was good, but not quite right.
Another jump, and a new seasons batch. Tasted the fledgling brew, and something seemed to be going right. JR decided to stay around for a while, periodically tasting the batch, until the 'greeness' settled, and the piquancy reached perfection. Here was a cider to match the very best in the world. He thanked the men, loaded 3 barrels onto a barrow and told them the fortune to be made from the distillery and orchard was theirs to be split fairly between them. He walked back to the pub, barrow in tow, paid his bill, and stepped through a doorway, to emerge in the Smoking room a mere second after the call went out.
"Robust Cider? just the thing here lad. Just let me  broach this barrel and find some ice."
Logged

Cheers!
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #654 on: March 13, 2013, 03:56:15 pm »

He awoke in a crumpled heap in the corner by the open cupboard, staggered somehow to his feet, still clutching the empty whisky bottle, and looked blurrily around him.

"I say, I was having the wildest dream... the whole universe was swirling around on itself.... and you three were all there, and... what? where did the three girls with the cream-pies go? Oh, well, yes, you lot seemed to be there somewhere too..."

     ... well, I suppose I've missed a bit while I've been asleep.... *consults battered pocket-watch*... lessee... 6:59 to now... that's at least 12 hours. No wonder I feel so rough. Anything worth drinking on the bar?"
Logged

Choose a code to live by, die by it if you have to.
Siliconous Skumins
Server Monk
Governor
Rogue Ætherlord
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #655 on: March 14, 2013, 04:26:06 am »

...Worth drinking on the bar.... well, I usually use a glass, but as you wish...

*pours bottle of brandy over bar*

...There you go - I would usually advise a fine cigar with this brandy, however with the increased flammability of the bar in this state.....that might not be such a good idea.


Well it looks like things have worked out well, the universe seems to have reworked back.... to ....

*trails off after noticing large pterodactyl fly past the window*.

....Uhm....nevermind.  Another brandy?...
Logged

[Server Prayer]
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Octavius von Gilgamesh
Immortal
**
Australia Australia


Captain of the Ariadne's Sorrow


« Reply #656 on: March 14, 2013, 06:38:28 am »

Pterodactyls are fine, just keep away from any dodo's.

*Picks up his cider, and takes a long swig. The lights blur, his tongue starts to throb, and the figures seated at the bar before him separate and mix together in a haze. He looks down at the floor, which appear to be a long way away, and shakes his head, causing planets to appear before his eyes.
He lifts his arms up to his eyes, and it feels as if they have come from a distant place, on the other side of known history. He swallows....*

"Damn fine stuff, wot?"
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #657 on: March 14, 2013, 07:29:05 am »

*A thunderous detonation erupts from behind the mahogany bookcase, which slides gently to one side, revealing a doorway, and Bailey standing in it, carrying a large bottlenecked beaker filled with greenish-brownish liquor that gives off an odd luminous fog*

Ah! Well met! Anybody for a sampling?
Logged

Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
JR Murray
Deck Hand
*
Australia Australia



« Reply #658 on: March 14, 2013, 12:49:41 pm »

I am up for a snifter, what do you call this concoction then?
Logged
Siliconous Skumins
Server Monk
Governor
Rogue Ætherlord
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #659 on: March 14, 2013, 09:01:01 pm »

*signals he's interested in a sample*

I wouldn't worry too much about any more Dodo trouble Octavius, it seems out little friend is now of this part of this universe and as such he can no longer effect the universal constants.

Probably...


Anyhow, we should be observant of this universe, we don't know what effects have taken place, what parts of history have changed, and more importantly - why is the sign over the bar in some strange language?...
Logged
Octavius von Gilgamesh
Immortal
**
Australia Australia


Captain of the Ariadne's Sorrow


« Reply #660 on: March 14, 2013, 10:28:24 pm »

*looks suspiciously at Baileys concoction, and wonders if it would be worth imbibing something that looks as if it disobeys the First and Third Laws of Thermodynamics, gravity, and possibly even Temporal Mechanics.*

You only live thrice, make mine a double.

*And after studying the sign above the bar intently for a few moments...*

I can announce with no uncertainty.....I have no idea.....
Logged
JR Murray
Deck Hand
*
Australia Australia



« Reply #661 on: March 16, 2013, 12:20:42 pm »

IYBMADITY is what the sign now proclaims. Is it Welsh, Swahili? Do you really want to know what it says? I can tell you if you really want.
Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #662 on: March 16, 2013, 04:10:45 pm »

*looks up from vacuuming the bar-top with a bendy-straw*

(Well, I do like a bit of wordplay as much as the next chap, but wasting good cognac is a completely different matter)

Lemmee see... If You Break My Achy-breaky... something something... nope, not the foggiest...


Logged
Siliconous Skumins
Server Monk
Governor
Rogue Ætherlord
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #663 on: March 19, 2013, 06:33:38 am »

Hmmm.......  I Yanked Bowel Movements...... And..... Did ......It To You.....??  Huh?...

*fires up the temporal perambulator device, selects the acronym translator....   stares at result*

Oh.... well If your going to use language like that above the bar...

*lights cigar*

...Besides, why would you want to do that to your Auntie's dog...!?  Have you been looking at the 'farmasutra' library again?...

*pours another brandy on the bar for Fairley B. Strange*
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #664 on: March 19, 2013, 06:59:34 am »

*fills up glasses all around*

I call this Medusa's Brew, after my first fiancée. Now don't glower at it so, sir, I promise that
 it's only slightly dangerous.
Logged
JR Murray
Deck Hand
*
Australia Australia



« Reply #665 on: March 20, 2013, 12:13:07 pm »

Ok, you want to know, If you buy me a drink I'll tell you.
Logged
walkthebassline
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States



« Reply #666 on: March 20, 2013, 03:36:30 pm »

"Barkeep, a drink for Murray. He's going to tell!"
Logged
Octavius von Gilgamesh
Immortal
**
Australia Australia


Captain of the Ariadne's Sorrow


« Reply #667 on: March 21, 2013, 04:15:32 am »

"hic"
Logged
Siliconous Skumins
Server Monk
Governor
Rogue Ætherlord
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #668 on: March 21, 2013, 10:46:09 pm »

There is no need for name calling!...



*eyes brew in glass with suspicion - blows foam off from top, surprised by the sparks and green flame that ensues*

Mehh... *gulps it down*


...



.......


*cough*
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #669 on: March 22, 2013, 05:57:32 am »

Yes, I suppose it's a bit dry. Perhaps a vermouth chaser? *Pours the relevant secondary beverage*
Logged
Siliconous Skumins
Server Monk
Governor
Rogue Ætherlord
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #670 on: March 22, 2013, 07:43:07 am »

*gasps*

*croaking voice*  Thanks....

*gulps it down*


OK...*winces*...not the best flavor to wash it down with.   I can taste sulphur....


*BUUUUUUUUUURRRRP!!!*

'Scuse me...
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #671 on: March 28, 2013, 05:45:31 am »

Sulphur, yes... Yes, that would be the Devonian warmspring water in the mash. Dear me and bless you, dear fellow. A light brandy for recovery, perhaps? Or we have this blue stuff, label says Rom... R-o-m-u-l-a-n...
Logged
DreamHazard
Demoted Temporal Cheat
Steam Aficionado
*
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Gravatar

Xander Wood


WWW
« Reply #672 on: March 28, 2013, 02:00:12 pm »

But Romulan ale is illegal! Where did you get it?
Logged

walkthebassline
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States



« Reply #673 on: March 28, 2013, 07:28:35 pm »

We only keep it around for medicinal purposes, of course. I get it from a fella named McCoy once in a while.
Logged
Fairley B. Strange
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
Australia Australia


Relax, I've done much dumber things and survived..


WWW
« Reply #674 on: March 28, 2013, 07:34:50 pm »

* looks up from his bar-straw in a (rare) moment of clarity*

I've got it - it's...

*starts clicking his fingers*

Iybmadity diddy dum, diddee doo.... there she was, just a walking down the street...

*ducks to avoid a heavy flying ashtray*
Logged
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