|
Major Wolfram Quicksilver
|
 |
« on: May 24, 2011, 10:45:39 am » |
|
I posted these on another thread, and thought it was an opportunity too good to miss. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, and without further ado:
Rules to be a 'proper' Steampunk:
1. Join the military.
2. Become an engineer, with bits of paper to show to people; build steam engines from scratch.
3. Become a polyglot.
4. Encourage child labour, workhouses, and women to be women.
5. Own and read a small library of Victorian literature.
6. Stock up on Kipling (books and cakes, I'm surprised he found the time to write!).
7. Kill animals, with bare hands for extra cache.
8. Travel the world, extra points for uncivilised places you civilise.
9. Wear a pith on a regular basis. Take the pith even more regularly.
10. Remember, beige khaki is the new black. So is brown, and black.
11. Empire build with vigour!
12. Have many 'romantic liasions', very occasionally with another consenting adult as opposed to the love of Onan, if you're lucky.
13. Modernity is evil!
14. Dream the Victorian life, live the Victorian dream.
Please add to your heart's content!
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: May 25, 2011, 12:09:52 pm by Major Wolfram Quicksilver »
|
Logged
|
'This job looks complicated, get a bigger hammer!'
'The 4lb lump hammer, also known as a Birmingham Screwdriver'
'Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is never putting them in a fruit salad.'
|
|
|
|
Mary-Mary Quite Contrary
|
|
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2011, 10:53:25 am » |
|
Make it up as you go along
Cock a snook at people who "pooh pooh"
Giggle much
Eat cream cakes
Have a jolly good fun time
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
What larks, Pip, what larks!
|
|
|
TimeTinker
Rogue Ætherlord
 United Kingdom
Steampunk Facilitator MVSS
|
|
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2011, 11:04:41 am » |
|
Cock a snook at people who "pooh pooh"
Take care that you only cock your snook rather than poo pooing a "pooh pooh". Heard of a chap once who "poo pooed" a "pooh pooh". Had to disband the whole bally regiment!
|
|
|
|
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 11:08:16 am by TimeTinker »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Capt. Dirigible
|
|
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2011, 11:10:26 am » |
|
1. Join the military.
2. Become an engineer, with bits of paper to show to people; build steam engines from scratch.
3. Become a polyglot.
4. Encourage child labour, workhouses, and women to be women.
5. Own and read a small library of Victorian literature.
6. Stock up on Kipling (books and cakes, I'm surprised he found the time to write!).
7. Kill animals, with bare hands for extra cache.
8. Travel the world, extra points for uncivilised places you civilise.
9. Wear a pith on a regular basis. Take the pith even more regularly.
10. Remember, beige khaki is the new black. So is brown, and black.
11. Empire build with vigour!
12. Have many 'romantic liasions', very occasionally with another consenting adult if you're lucky.
13. Modernity is evil!
14. Dream the Victorian life, live the Victorian dream. Ah..well it seems I fall short of the qualifying criteria...so I guess I'll load the old service revolver, toddle off to the library and 'do the decent thing'. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I say, Joe it's jolly frightening out here.
Nonsense dear boy, you should be more like me.
But look at you! You're shaking all over!
Shaking? You silly goose! I'm just doing the Watusi
|
|
|
|
akumabito
|
|
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2011, 11:16:55 am » |
|
The first rule of being a proper steampunk; you do not talk about rules for being a proper steampunk.
The second rule of being a proper steampunk; you DO NOT talk about rules for being a proper steampunk..
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Just call me Rob
|
|
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2011, 11:28:50 am » |
|
Rule 1b.
The military you join does not have to be any military force recognised by the rest of the world. Joining the Queens Own Cake'n'bun Lancers is perfectly acceptable.
Rule 3b.
Or remain a monoglot and JUST SPEAK LOUDLY AND SLOWLY TO FOREIGNERS.
Rule 8b.
Lincoln, Wales and anything South of Bristol count as such.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting aiw kwacken.
|
|
|
bicyclebuilder
Rogue Ætherlord
 Netherlands
A.K.A. Scanner Camera Builder
|
|
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2011, 11:32:28 am » |
|
I Posted these on another thread, and thought it was an opportinity too good to miss. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, and without further ado:
Rules to be a 'proper' Steampunk:
1. Join the military. I used to work as a civilian, repairing vehicles when I was a student. Does that count?2. Become an engineer, with bits of paper to show to people; Waves papers. build steam engines from scratch. Does a putput boat count?3. Become a polyglot. I'm perfectly happy with just one wife, thank you.4. Encourage child labour, workhouses, and women to be women. Hear, hear. Nothing wrong with that.5. Own and read a small library of Victorian literature.
6. Stock up on Kipling (books and cakes, I'm surprised he found the time to write!). I've got one of his backpacks7. Kill animals, with bare hands for extra cache. #whacks fly#8. Travel the world, extra points for uncivilised places you civilise. I've uncivilised places that were civilised, but that's a whole different story.9. Wear a pith on a regular basis. Take the pith even more regularly. No coment.10. Remember, beige khaki is the new black. So is brown, and black. And blue was the old red and green is the old purple.11. Empire build with vigour! And buy new found land with mirrors and beads.12. Have many 'romantic liasions', very occasionally with another consenting adult if you're lucky. Without consenting is a agressive liasion.13. Modernity is evil!
So, no tv, internet, IC vehicle.14. Dream the Victorian life, live the Victorian dream. Last night I had a victoria secret deam, does that count?Please add to your heart's content!
I think I'm safe. Did I pass? Captain D: If you're going to do the decent thing, use a nerf. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The best way to learn is by personal experience.
|
|
|
Mr Peter Harrow, Esq
Master Tinkerer
United Kingdom
Fellow of the Victorian Steampunk Society
|
|
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2011, 12:10:08 pm » |
|
Do not drop your 'aiches' it is both common and vulgar
Do not try to "pooh pooh" a copraphiliac, it will only give the wrong impression.
Definitely do not do both together!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Proudly giving the entire Asylum The Finger!
|
|
|
|
Rockula
|
|
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2011, 12:19:57 pm » |
|
Rule 1.
DON'T USE THE RULES
THEY'RE NOT FOR YOU, THEY'RE FOR THE FOOLS
AND YOU'RE A FOOL IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT
SO USE THE RULES YOU STUPID FOOL.
Rule 2.
THERE IS NO RULE 2.
Copyright: Strummer/Jones.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The legs have fallen off my Victorian Lady...
|
|
|
|
Just call me Rob
|
|
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2011, 12:22:47 pm » |
|
Rule #1. Do not feed the moderators of Brass Goggles after midnight.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
bicyclebuilder
Rogue Ætherlord
Netherlands
A.K.A. Scanner Camera Builder
|
|
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2011, 12:26:38 pm » |
|
The rules are ofcourse Imperial.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
James Harrison
Master Tinkerer
 England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
|
|
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2011, 01:18:21 pm » |
|
Rule 1b.
The military you join does not have to be any military force recognised by the rest of the world. Joining the Queens Own Cake'n'bun Lancers is perfectly acceptable.
Rule 3b.
Or remain a monoglot and JUST SPEAK LOUDLY AND SLOWLY TO FOREIGNERS.
Rule 8b.
Lincoln, Wales and anything South of Bristol count as such.
Wait a moment.... I studied for my undergrad in Lincoln (The Asylum), I'm studying for my postgrad in Oxford (Scene of one of the first SP art exhibitions) and I grew up in the West Midlands (UK SP hotspot). What then does that make me  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Persons intending to travel by open carriage should select a seat with their backs to the engine, by which means they will avoid the ashes emitted therefrom, that in travelling generally, but particularly through the tunnels, prove a great annoyance; the carriage farthest from the engine will in consequence be found the most desirable.
|
|
|
|
Prof Ainsworth Halfmain
|
|
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2011, 01:22:01 pm » |
|
Cock a snook at people who "pooh pooh"
I don't quite know what that means! Once again, I must away to the Babelfish 'English to American' translator, lest I be inadvertantly brought up on morals charges for acting on impulse with impropriety. Alas, the problems only steampunks have while simply having fun on an international forum! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Believe me, there exists no such dilemma as that in which a gentleman is placed when he is forced to reply to a blackguard. ~Edgar Allan Poe
|
|
|
|
LadyAsprin
|
|
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2011, 01:22:12 pm » |
|
Rule 8b.
Lincoln, Wales and anything South of Bristol count as such.
Can't we just say anything south of Hadrian's Wall? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Only girls fight with swords these days.(Wellington - Duel and Duality - Blackadder III)
|
|
|
TimeTinker
Rogue Ætherlord
United Kingdom
Steampunk Facilitator MVSS
|
|
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2011, 01:32:35 pm » |
|
Can't we just say anything south of Hadrian's Wall?
It would be churlish not to include everything south of the Antonine Wall surely. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Major Wolfram Quicksilver
|
|
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2011, 01:33:19 pm » |
|
“Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.” Thoreau
“Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.” Roosevelt
“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind” MacArthur
“Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.” Bader
“Be prepared, be sharp, be careful, and use the King's English well. And you can forget all the [other rules] unless you remember one more: Get paid.” Nix
Rob, I found that most places find civilisation after I've left them!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
LadyAsprin
|
|
« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2011, 01:37:13 pm » |
|
Can't we just say anything south of Hadrian's Wall?
It would be churlish not to include everything south of the Antonine Wall surely. Then the Athens of the North would be uncivilised then which seems wrong and Hadrian's Wall is the elder of the two, so we should respect it as the proper boundary. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Just call me Rob
|
|
« Reply #17 on: May 24, 2011, 02:23:08 pm » |
|
I think we could include everything North of the South side of the wall and everything South of the North side of the wall.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
LadyAsprin
|
|
« Reply #18 on: May 24, 2011, 02:28:47 pm » |
|
I think we could include everything North of the South side of the wall and everything South of the North side of the wall.
Everywhere north of the Severan/Antonine Wall and south of Hadrian's Wall classed as uncivilised then? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
rhylla
|
|
« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2011, 05:41:37 pm » |
|
could certainly count my curent neck of the woods! a tad chav central! but i like to baffle and confuse the locals  -Rhylla- |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Navigator of the Airship Tartan Crow (and the reason why we generally travel in the wrong direction!)
|
|
|
|
Capt. Dirigible
|
|
« Reply #20 on: May 24, 2011, 05:43:13 pm » |
|
Wait a moment.... I studied for my undergrad in Lincoln (The Asylum), I'm studying for my postgrad in Oxford (Scene of one of the first SP art exhibitions) and I grew up in the West Midlands (UK SP hotspot). What then does that make me A clever clogs? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
James Harrison
Master Tinkerer
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
|
|
« Reply #21 on: May 24, 2011, 05:44:30 pm » |
|
Wait a moment.... I studied for my undergrad in Lincoln (The Asylum), I'm studying for my postgrad in Oxford (Scene of one of the first SP art exhibitions) and I grew up in the West Midlands (UK SP hotspot). What then does that make me A clever clogs? Nah, thick as two short planks, me  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Dr. Madd
|
|
« Reply #22 on: May 24, 2011, 06:20:29 pm » |
|
Be creative
Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself
Enjoy life... And a good cup of tea
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
What do we want? Decapitations!
|
|
|
Mr. Boltneck
Rogue Ætherlord
 United States
|
|
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2011, 07:15:28 pm » |
|
Steamspotting
Choose steam. Choose Victoriana.
Choose a jolly big pith helmet.
Choose a proper blasted uniform.
Choose to get a posting at the Imperial frontier.
Choose to go on safari and kill anything with fur.
Choose to travel exclusively by traction engine,
airship, or steamship.
Choose to wake up one blighted morning
wondering about the infernal coal bill.
Choose an underground laboratory,
and spend all the bally time promising
to make the fools who laughed at your ideas pay.
Choose the past.
Choose steam.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Siddons, the Incompable
|
|
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2011, 07:29:22 pm » |
|
Steamspotting
Choose steam. Choose Victoriana.
Choose a jolly big pith helmet.
Choose a proper blasted uniform.
Choose to get a posting at the Imperial frontier.
Choose to go on safari and kill anything with fur.
Choose to travel exclusively by traction engine,
airship, or steamship.
Choose to wake up one blighted morning
wondering about the infernal coal bill.
Choose an underground laboratory,
and spend all the bally time promising
to make the fools who laughed at your ideas pay.
Choose the past.
Choose steam.
I have just stolen this and added it to my Facebook It says so much, the only thing missing is the option to swan around in large bustles and dominatrix heels |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"We're going to die!!!!!"
"Be positive!"
"We're going to die QUICKLY!!!!!"
|
|
|
|
