Monkey Butlers: Steampunk or not?

[Dr cornelius quack]

I'm sure this hirsuite fellow should be a retired Major with this fine moustache, taking tea at the club and relating stories about various wars.

I don't know about that, he's using a very inferior brand of wax.

[Miss Romwell]

Naw, they will work for peanuts.

And what if some start demanding cashews? It's a slippery slope, I tell you!

[Lazaras]

Besides which, raccoons are only cute at a distance as far as I'm concerned. Having been camping in raccoon country, like the Santa Cruz Mountains, I can guarantee that they are thieving, bitey, and malodorous. Also, just clever enough to be real bastards with it.

Having also camped in heavily raccoon infested areas I have to second this observation.

Any chance this thread could be stickied? I see much merriment for long months, if not years, to come.

[Capt. Dirigible]

Any chance this thread could be stickied? I see much merriment for long months, if not years, to come.

That's Monkey Butlers for you! Endless amusement

[Xavier Saint Cloud]

I'm in two minds on it, on the one hand I'm more inclined to say they're pulp (especially with the Tom Strong connection mentioned above).  On the other hand I can certainly see the connections to the Island of Dr Moreau and other forms of Victorian tinkering.  I can well believe that at least one Victorian biologist or surgeon would have tried it, given the right technology.

[ladyraygun]

The October edition of Fortean Times has a whole page regarding monkey tales, including the monkeys that had been trained in martial arts, and a one armed and one legged monkey who was far too clever for his owners good.

I can now definitively tell you that Darwin (from Robert's JDFGAOUA, and new novel being written now)is most definitively a monkey as he has a tail. So there.

[markf]

For shame - Fez'd monkey butlers slave auctioned into a harsh life of servitude on Ebay.  Where's PETA's compassion for them? markf

http://cgi.ebay.com/Mischievous-Monkey-Butler-Pedestal-Sculptural-Table-/250662846200?pt=US_Tables&hash=item3a5cab7ef8

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Herr Döktor]

I'm in two minds on it, on the one hand I'm more inclined to say they're pulp (especially with the Tom Strong connection mentioned above).  On the other hand I can certainly see the connections to the Island of Dr Moreau and other forms of Victorian tinkering.  I can well believe that at least one Victorian biologist or surgeon would have tried it, given the right technology.

No, no, NO! Not the right technology, definitely the wrong technology!

The October edition of Fortean Times has a whole page regarding monkey tales, including the monkeys that had been trained in martial arts, and a one armed and one legged monkey who was far too clever for his owners good.

I can now definitively tell you that Darwin (from Robert's JDFGAOUA, and new novel being written now)is most definitively a monkey as he has a tail. So there.

Well, thats us told!

[Atterton]

I´m surprised just how good an orangutan looks in a suit.

You need a chimp like Oliver, he could walk upright and knew how to serve coffee.

[Captain Lyerly]

A Monkey Butler Should indeed wear a Fez.  Even with a tailcoat, it is de riguer for a well dressed simian servant.

Finding one is actually dead simple.

Just look on line.

At FezBook.



 

Chas.

[Herr Döktor]

I´m surprised just how good an orangutan looks in a suit.

You need a chimp like Oliver, he could walk upright and knew how to serve coffee.

I seem to recall that Oliver might have had some sort of chromazonal difference- perhaps Dr. Moreau was available for consultation?

[Capt. Dirigible]

I can now definitively tell you that Darwin (from Robert's JDFGAOUA, and new novel being written now)is most definitively a monkey as he has a tail. So there.

Any chance the next volume would have one of the Commodore's excellent illustrations showing Darwin in all his glory? I know he features in the JDFGAOUA cover art but it's only a head  and shoulders view)

[saspac]

I'm in two minds on it, on the one hand I'm more inclined to say they're pulp (especially with the Tom Strong connection mentioned above).  On the other hand I can certainly see the connections to the Island of Dr Moreau and other forms of Victorian tinkering.  I can well believe that at least one Victorian biologist or surgeon would have tried it, given the right technology.

Why bother with surgery, if I recall one of the more dubious 'drugs' supposedly used in Victorian times was 'extract of monkey adrenal glands' to induce atavistic behaviours. Surely injecting monkeys (or chimps) with an extract of Butler or Gentlemans gentleman adrenal glands should induce an immediate Jeeves like behaviour avoiding all that messy surgery or time consuming training!

[Atterton]

Isn´t that only in The Adventure of the Creeping Man they use that drug?

[Argus Fairbrass]

injecting monkeys (or chimps) with an extract of Butler or Gentlemans gentleman adrenal glands should induce an immediate Jeeves like behaviour avoiding all that messy surgery or time consuming training!

Sir,-What a perfectly ghastly idea! enuff already rofl

[markf]

Isn´t that only in The Adventure of the Creeping Man they use that drug?

Yup, it was Conan Doyle's variation on 'The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde' published around 35 yrs before the Holmes story.  markf

[Atterton]

Still, I could see the Victorian idea of civilizing the world eventually being extended to animals, our primate cousins first. Perhaps some brain augmentation first.

[markf]

Isn't that how politicians were created?  markf

[Rockula]

Coming to your local Kinema.

'On The Omnibuses' starring Reginald Varney'.

Tagline: 'I'll get you Monkey Butler'.

[RoseOak]

It would depend on how they became butlers.

I prefer the idea that it is not explained, that's the charm of it.

Imagine a pleasant day in Hyde Park, the zepplins are floating overhead creating a pleasant susurrus in the background.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am sitting in a bench enjoying the day as my monkey butler arrives at my side and offers me the morning paper.
A nearby gentleman sees this and comes over.
'Excuse me Sir, I see you have a monkey as a butler.'
'Why yes I do, he's most capable.'
'Sir, may I ask, where did he come from'
'Well, I placed an add in the Times and he called round the next day.'
'But how did he become a butler'
'I presume some sort of butler school.'
'yes, but aren't monkeys generally wild animals'
'hmmm, possibly, but I find it best not to generalise about such things'
'Was he specially bred for the purpose of being a butler'
'It's possible, I'd have to ask his Parents I suppose, lovely couple, apparently they live in Dorking these days.'
'But does he have some sort of enhancement in his brain.'
'I couldn't say, he's certainly a voracious reader and I've always thought that reading is a good way to expand knowledge.'
'But ….  but …… but he's a monkey'
'Do excuse me Sir, I have an appointment with my Barber.

'

Thats made my day that has. I'm laughing so hard the guy on the other end of the phone conve in the next room want a brown one

[von Corax]

'Sir, may I ask, where did he come from'
'Well, I placed an add in the Times and he called round the next day.'
'But how did he become a butler'
'I presume some sort of butler school.'
'yes, but aren't monkeys generally wild animals'
'hmmm, possibly, but I find it best not to generalise about such things'

"Of course, when I captured Reginald he was quite wild—"
"Wild? I was absolutely livid!"

[Capt. Dirigible]

Is your Simian Servant  coming to the end of his usefullness? Is he slow? Unresponsive? Incontinent?
Is it time to put your Monkey Butler out  to pasture?

Then look no further...
Monkey Butler Retirement Home

[markf]

The retirement home and entrance gates seemed quite nice, but where are the traffic signs saying 'Slow Down - Monkey Butler Crossing?' We don't want our future simian overlords thinking we mistreated their ancestors.  markf

[Mr Peter Harrow, Esq]

The sign should have the Monkey Butler holding a cane.

[bicyclebuilder]

What kind of monkey's are we talking about? Chimpansees, orangutans, gorillas, gibbons, baboons?
It makes quite a difference regarding suit and fezz sizes.