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Major Wolfram Quicksilver
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« on: July 27, 2010, 07:04:12 pm » |
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Do we have a thread for this? Not a "GAAAAAAAH" or "Oh Yeah!" thread, but things that seriously make you go "What the .......?"
Case in point: Today I bought a new razor, a 'Gillette Fusion Power MVP'. What can I say, I needed one, it was on special offer, and I had Tesco's vouchers to use. Well, it came with a battery, because as the information on the pack said the razor 'directed micro-pulses' into the skin to make the shaving 'experience' easier and more effective. I have just unwrapped it, inserted the battery and taken it for a spin, and found out that the razor's 'micro pulses' actually means it vibrates, quite strongly.
I have bought the bastard lovechild of a cut-throat razor and a sexual appliance.
WTF?
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« Last Edit: July 27, 2010, 07:58:05 pm by Major Wolfram Quicksilver »
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'This job looks complicated, get a bigger hammer!'
'The 4lb lump hammer, also known as a Birmingham Screwdriver'
'Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is never putting them in a fruit salad.'
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arcwelder
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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2010, 07:08:35 pm » |
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Were you thinking more like goatse, or more like the raw feed from /b/ on a slow news day?
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Mad repairman for the ship of the damned.  |
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Major Wolfram Quicksilver
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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2010, 07:25:00 pm » |
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 Woah Tiger! Not ANYTHING like goatse! I had to look it up, and rather shocked I was too. Just general things that make you go WTF? Like instructions on packaged toothpicks, or notices on packets of peanuts that inform you 'This product may contain nuts'. Or vibrating razors. Dear God, man! Nearly lost one's dinner!
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arcwelder
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« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2010, 07:59:32 pm » |
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Oh. Sorry about that. There are certain words which, when entered into Google Image Search, return things which the mind is not meant to face. Sort of like a visual, psychologically traumatic, nausea-inducing version of a Zen koan. Or if you like, a modern version of Carlin's Seven Dirty Words which invoke the abyssal horrors which lurk beneath the surface of the internets. Goatse is what is known as a Level 1 Eyebleach Hazard. There's a classification system similar to NFPA 704 which goes up to level four. IIRC the other hazard categories are Flame War (e.g. photoshops of Apple ads), Cognitive Dissonance (e.g. Escher paintings), and Soul Killer (e.g. dead puppies). |
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Oneiros
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« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2010, 09:10:36 pm » |
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On the side of a Lion Bar, it has the phrase "Contains Whole Egg"  I always thought it was the rice crispies which made them crunchy! |
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What really matters is what you do with what you have. - H. G. Wells
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AndiiV
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« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2010, 09:25:36 pm » |
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Trying to put up a tent in wind. I'm afraid my language was a lot stronger than merely WTF!
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Miss Magpie
Deck Hand
 United Kingdom
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« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2010, 10:29:12 pm » |
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Gas canisters for camping stoves that have warning labels telling me not to flush it down the toilet  |
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Herr Döktor
Gadgeteer, Contraptionist, and Inventor, FVSS
Governor
Master Tinkerer
United Kingdom
Herr Döktor, and friend.
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« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2010, 10:40:01 pm » |
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Instructions on toothpick packaging.
©Douglas Adams
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2010, 12:50:35 am » |
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Japan, it's the source of 68% of the world's weird things scince 1885 (and that's why I love it  ) |
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Indefinitive
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« Reply #9 on: July 29, 2010, 04:50:09 am » |
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Joe, I'm trying to place what band that is... based on the pink-haired one, I want to say AnCafe... Anyway. Things that make me go 'Wtf'. Today, I was doing paperwork when some random really old guy stopped in front of my office window and just started dancing. He didn't have any music, and it wasn't any particular dance that anyone would know. He just broke it down to the tune in his head. Amusing, to say the very least, until he start pelvic thrusting at passing cars. Then the beat cops had to chase him off. Oh, I love the area of town I work in. |
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Arkwright
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« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2010, 02:56:48 pm » |
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Hello There!
Two WTF's one in my head and one I managed to induce in someone else.
I am currently satying in a shared house. The landlady has an expensive fridge with all the bells and whistles. On the front is a control panel and two lights - each lights up when you open one of the doors. However, they go of if the door is puched too, but not actually shut. So if you open the fridge door a light lights up on the other door to tell you that you have done it and if you open the other door a lightlights up - but you can't see it because you have the door open.
WTF!
I sometimes work in a very macho environment. There are highly paid professionals and managers who talk about gentlemen's clubs. On one occasion a pair were talking about the Spearmint Rhino in Slough and I wasn't really paying attention. When they tried to engage me in the conversation - I asked them what the food was like...
WTF?
Arkwright
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"I devote my life to two worthy goals: unmasking Dorian the Anarchist and ensuring absolute victory over the Fish People!"
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Angelica Needle
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« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2010, 05:24:40 pm » |
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That reminds me of the TA Centre out the back of my parents' house. As a teenager, we'd be shooting air rifles at tin cans in the back garden, while a load of TA recruits ran around with bits of wood shouting 'bang bang bang'. *snigger* |
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The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away all demons, a little-known fact.
Terry Pratchett, Snuff
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MinistryOfTruth
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« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2010, 07:15:52 pm » |
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This picture: Some people will just do anything for an opportunity to sue someone... |
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He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.
Perhaps a Lunatic was simply a minority of one...
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Mercury Wells
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« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2010, 07:42:20 pm » |
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Well putting xheads into you is silly, a slot head is better siuted for the job.  |
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jesuisbienseule
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« Reply #14 on: July 29, 2010, 09:28:56 pm » |
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The customer who comes in twice a year and wears a metal pyramid on his head - perfectly seriously mind you. Always makes me smile, but it does generate a WTF? moment among new staff and other customers...
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darkshines
Rogue Ætherlord
 Wales
Miss Katonic 1898
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« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2010, 09:59:36 pm » |
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Well putting xheads into you is silly, a slot head is better siuted for the job. Filthy joke...... No, no, you are supposed to put the HEAD in the SLOT |
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Arceye
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« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2010, 01:33:51 pm » |
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Most people will be familiar with the electrically powered disabled buggy. They come in all shapes and sizes, and the trick is to have one that is suited to the sort of work you're going to put it to.
Today I saw a small electric buggy, made for little trips around town by someone of shall we say petite disposition, being ridden by two burly fellas with all their fishing gear....and any second now the poor overworked buggy will grind to a halt, and the two ignoramuses will sit looking stupid going.....WTF?
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There is nothing that cannot be made a little worse and sold a little cheaper
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Atterton
Master Tinkerer
Only The Shadow knows
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« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2010, 01:56:05 pm » |
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I´ve been looking for docking stations for mp3 players online. What I don´t get is how even the companies that make their own mp3-players, seem to make docking stations that only work for ipods. That seems quite stupid.
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In space, no one can hear you steam.
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Mr. Boltneck
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« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2010, 05:15:34 pm » |
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A couple of days back, I was near a monitor showing financial news. A serious talking head gravely informed the world that "Goldman Sachs may have finally found their bottom." My immediate thought was that it probably took both hands and a flashlight.
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Hey Joe
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« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2010, 08:33:09 pm » |
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Braille instructions on a drive-thru bank window.
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You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
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phang
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« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2010, 10:31:37 pm » |
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Gas canisters for camping stoves that have warning labels telling me not to flush it down the toilet Because you know someone has tried it. |
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N=R* x f(p) x n(e) x f(l) x f(i) x f(c) x L
So? Where is everyone?
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proteus
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« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2010, 11:01:00 pm » |
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Braille instructions on a drive-thru bank window.
Oddly, there are reasons for that. I leave it as an exercise whether they are *good* reasons. First, signage for ATMs is generally standard (for a given provider); there's absolutely no reason to add the additional cost, chance for error, and complexity of having different signs when it isn't needed. Second, the law requires that ATMs have braille signage; again, it's a matter of simplicity -- laws that say "except, except, except" are much harder to enforce. Finally, blind people do walk up to drive-up ATMs. |
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--
"Politics and religion are just like software and hardware. They all suck, the documentation is provably incorrect, and all the vendors tell lies." — Andrew DalgleishHow To Financially Support Brass Goggles — now with a subscription option!
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Kyda
Deck Hand
 United States
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« Reply #22 on: August 01, 2010, 11:15:00 pm » |
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Gas canisters for camping stoves that have warning labels telling me not to flush it down the toilet Because you know someone has tried it.  Maaaaayyybe..... No jk. I know better than to do that... *mumbles under her breath* now lighting it on fire.... thats a whole different story!  |
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Mr. Boltneck
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« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2010, 01:31:01 am » |
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Having worked in an architectural sign firm, I can say that Proteus is dead on. Pretty much all major public signs in a building get Braille. Also, not only does the law not try to spell out every exception, but for a shop, it may be easier to turn out 50 of the same thing, rather than 48 of one sign and 2 of another.
This does not, in and of itself, explain the presence of sprinkler nozzles in the shower room at my gym (entirely covered with tiles, and damp), but I suspect that the fundamental reasoning was identical.
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Hey Joe
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« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2010, 02:02:45 am » |
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I know all the reasons why they put Braille on the signs, It's the imagery of blind drivers that I was thinking of. What's next? Braille bumps on the road?
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