A voice roars "Un'and me ya yellow dog furred basturds!"
A man comes crashing through the front door, twirling a cloud of dust into the air. In a fit of coughs he gets up, reaches for his hat on the floor and places it gingerly on his head.
"Well neh this ain't so bad. Least da boys 'ad 'eart enough ta 'roon me at a pub dis time. Not like last week, gods 'bide ain't gonna be orderin' any more buddy mary's on Cannibul Island 'gain. Damned tourist trap. Literally, they 'ad spike traps, noose traps, bear traps. Anythin' fur a steak a' 'uman."
The vagabond captain throws himself onto a bar stool.
"Name's Maize, Cap'n Jake Maize. Now would somein pull me a pint before I die a thirst. Coz I ain't gettin' any younger. What's dis place called anyhow?"