The Lonely Gear (A singles bar)

[CorneliaCarton]

BA-BANG!!!!  Front door slams open, i stand there, leather jacket with red stripes down the arms, goggles round neck, flat cap on backwards, grubby face and smoke / steam rising from my clothes!

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my self, Lord Ghia Direpond at your service, Explorer, Inventor, and Hunter of cryptzoology

GGGRRR----GGGGRRRRRAAAAAHHHH!!! *fights imaginary animal on the way to the bar*

BAR KEEP, give me a large stiff one, it will go with the one i already have! ha HAAA!

If you're looking for a "Stiff one" Lord Direpond, the Queer Gear is just up the road.
Pssst! You know this isn't a roll-play thread, right? We all get silly here, but no made up nonsense.
Oh, great entrance by the way!

*Wakes, looks at new guy, drinks...*

Another round for everyone is in order Gabriel.
Sup up kids!

Agreed. *Pours drinks all around*

How is everyone tonight? I'm great m'self. Just got a pair of $150 boots for $40.

*sniffles*
Ya didn't even acknowledge my glomp, Gabriel.....

[Lord Wraste]

Funny you mention that, I was debating whether or not to acknowledge it when I got distracted.
The only reason I didn't was because it was a few posts back and I didn't wanna derail things.

*HUG*

[CorneliaCarton]

Funny you mention that, I was debating whether or not to acknowledge it when I got distracted.
The only reason I didn't was because it was a few posts back and I didn't wanna derail things.

*HUG*

-hugs back-
Yay  
But agh. I am exhausted.
*toddles over to the couch and collapses on it asleep*

[Indefinitive]

-Posts a note on the bulletin board.-

WANTED - URGENT
Male to take care of big bad spider.
Must be 6 feet tall, or damn close.
Must kill with bare hands. Fire, explosives, and acids not permitted.
Previous experience not necessary, but an asset.
Payment will be issued in the form of freshly baked cookies and hugs.

[lord Ghia Direpond]

* Adjusts flat cap so its on the right way, and sips whiskey from a PINT glass!*

CHEERS peeps! *scans the room*
good evening dear what the devils a clump did you say? sounds positivley interesting
*watches Indefinitive post note* THINKS Hmmmm looks like a job for the DIREPOND and my amazing "quam thrasher with plenum chamber" perfect for trapping beasts of an aracnid decent.

I say, spider killer you want? where i come from i've seen those beasts devour birds and such, i've an apparatus in the steam plane which may be of use, these cookies chocolatechip are they??

[Lilith-Nighthawk]

*looks at the notice* You  sure a 4' 10 fearless female wouldn't work for the job? I could smash it with a book, or stomp on it with my shoes, maybe just take it out of the house. I get rid of even the smallest spider that ends up in my room.

[Hyeronymus Amphigourias]

*looks at the notice* You  sure a 4' 10 fearless female wouldn't work for the job? I could smash it with a book, or stomp on it with my shoes, maybe just take it out of the house. I get rid of even the smallest spider that ends up in my room.

I would say that you can qualify. As long as it is not a book about fire, explosives or acids 

[lord Ghia Direpond]

*looks at the notice* You  sure a 4' 10 fearless female wouldn't work for the job? I could smash it with a book, or stomp on it with my shoes, maybe just take it out of the house. I get rid of even the smallest spider that ends up in my room.

cooing at lilithAre you sure this is a job for the delicate fairer sex? after all the advert does say "male" and i think i qualify in that department, all this smashing and stomping it seems far too much work!, with my gadget i simply fill it with kerosene, pump the cylinder a few times, count to 30, pull a trigger till i hear a clicking sound, then pump the cylider again open the fuel valve, listen for the discombobulator to kick in, and wait a few minutes for a whooshing sound and the thing is then ready to attack the aracnid! thats of course if it fires up the first time !!!

[helios]

Word to the wise, Lord Ghia, you might not want to say such things to Lilith. After all, anything men can do, women can do also". Also, I believe that cooing at Lilith may be asking for a, well, something unpleasant. After all, I would not appreciate you cooing at me.

[Lilith-Nighthawk]

Word to the wise, Lord Ghia, you might not want to say such things to Lilith. After all, anything men can do, women can do also". Also, I believe that cooing at Lilith may be asking for a, well, something unpleasant. After all, I would not appreciate you cooing at me.

Where you wandering around the queer gear lately helios? I thank you for trying to defend my honor in such a respectful way.

ps.
Lord Ghia you would be wise to learn that I can be a fierce as the goddesses Kali, or Morigan. The guys of this forum have learned that While I can be very happy and bubbly I am not to be messed with more then i conscent to on pain of  threatening to with sever bodily harm. By the way dear you might want to keep the cooing to yourself I bat for the other team, and the only place I submit is in bed. I could flay you open with words if I wanted.

[Miss Groves]

oy, i can also remove said arachid with a glass and piece of paper.
either that or i sit and pull it's legs off, but then that would make cutespider sad.

[Thor]

I find that I can just punch them flat.  It's a gift I have.   

[lord Ghia Direpond]

*sipping whiskey from pint glass*
Good Greif, a lady more feirce than men, what is the world coming to? *shudders*
having travelled to the four corners of the wonderous planet i have never met such a creature.

Helios old chap, what is it that makes a man fear a woman?
*looks at lilith and squints, curious expression on face*

[Ulfilias]

b) Become a slightly better smelling gypsy and go dance-travelling selling my body for enough hard cash to survive.

Throws tuppence in the pot 

[helios]

Where you wandering around the queer gear lately helios? I thank you for trying to defend my honor in such a respectful way.

I'm afraid I haven't been. Perhaps I should. But you are most welcome. I just like to help. Also, I've been voted, informally, the nicest, most genuinely gentlemanly guy in my student hall. Odd, that...

Lord Ghia, I do not fear women, nor do I fear a specific woman. It is simply a deep seated respect for the abilities of women, that makes me act in the manner in which I do. A man is no more than a woman, nor is he less. And if, as I do, you respect all men, until they prove themselves no longer deserving of your respect, it is not at all a stretch to respect all women, and is, in fact, vital to truly respecting anyone.

And never met a lady more fierce than men? You must never have met my mother. A true firecracker she is.

[lord Ghia Direpond]

*raises a glass to Helios*
Sir, i admire your honesty and elocution, and perhaps your mother should come with us on the next yeti hunt? she sounds like a wonderous woman!!

[helios]

Yes, perhaps she should. However, I'm not too sure if I could handle an entire hunt carrying her bags as well as mine...

[Lord Wraste]

Word to the wise, Lord Ghia, you might not want to say such things to Lilith. After all, anything men can do, women can do also". Also, I believe that cooing at Lilith may be asking for a, well, something unpleasant. After all, I would not appreciate you cooing at me.

Where you wandering around the queer gear lately helios? I thank you for trying to defend my honor in such a respectful way.

ps.
Lord Ghia you would be wise to learn that I can be a fierce as the goddesses Kali, or Morigan. The guys of this forum have learned that While I can be very happy and bubbly I am not to be messed with more then i conscent to on pain of  threatening to with sever bodily harm. By the way dear you might want to keep the cooing to yourself I bat for the other team, and the only place I submit is in bed. I could flay you open with words if I wanted.

Mmmmm... Kali/Morigan hotness....
Darn our lack of compatible bits!!!

I still lurk around your Gear, Lilith. Lots of interesting conversations going on. I'd join in, but I am VERY straight and feel a bit odd chiming in on a subject that isn't related to the gay/straight social dynamic.

[Pheobsky]

*watches a spider clamber up his glass & removes it to the table, so his drink is not spilt by the hammering of books & such*
I have no need for spider squishing in return for cookies as I can make my own *evil laughter*

[brief moment of introspective self pity]
I fear I am getting rather a lot of attention from a gent, who though if a lovely chap -is not someone I'm the slightest bit interested in & have said so in (in kind words of course) but he doesn't seem to get it Oh why are only people who I'm not interested in interested in me, & people I'm interested in, are interested in the opposite gender or in horribly complicated situations...
[/brief moment of introspective self pity]

Sorry about that moment *curls up in his armchair & sips drink*

@lilith: Oh also no flaying near the drink my dear, I'm sure you're wonderfully acurate with that singletail, but I'd rather not risk sending that bottle of hendrics flying ^_^

[Mr. Bertram A. Lisney]

-Posts a note on the bulletin board.-

WANTED - URGENT
Male to take care of big bad spider.
....Must kill with bare hands. Fire, explosives, and acids not permitted.
....

I generally use my feet to kill spiders.  Now that I think of it though, I generally arrange for them to be on the floor before I dispatch them...A bit easier, I should think, to collect the remains from the ground than to reach up and scrub the ceiling.

Payment will be issued in the form of freshly baked cookies and hugs.

Though that seems incentive enough to try.

[Utini420]

There is a certain pride one feels in defending the honor of a lady, truly the fairer sex.
And then there are those fine, strong women who need no paladin in armor to come to their rescue.

For women like that, I recommend popcorn and a comfy chair.  Sit back and watch the show. 

[Lilith-Nighthawk]

Your always welcome in the queer gear Gabe, and helios to of course. I still think you should get a sex change gabe, I'd so go for you.

Utini I wouldn't mind a paladin if it was along the lines of an amazon or Joan of arch.

Lord Ghia I'll have you know that history has many fierce/strong/independant women mythical and other wise. Up until this whole damsel in distress malarky came about women were expected to at least be able to bother their attacker or hide well enough not to get  caught.  Joan of arch, Queen Boudica, women of the steps ect. Many cultures have through history traced something as important as heritage back to a strong woman be she real or goddess. Some culture be the religon based or other wise still do. Its why the don't like women marrying outside of the faith, they are responsible for teaching the next generation faith until they are of age to choose for themselves. Besides where do you think the saying convince the women and the men will follow comes from.

[Miss Groves]

*prods pheobsky* no feeling sorry for yourself hmmm, sounds tricky when someone like that is after you. i really should close my okcupid account as i have someone stalking me as well.

hey lillith, i'm too lazy to be my own knight in rusty armour, sometimes it's nice to let others do the heroics XD

[Indefinitive]

Lilith, I love your attitude. And while you do no meet the height requirement, I'd be more than glad to let you kill spiders for me any day.

[Lilith-Nighthawk]

hey lillith, i'm too lazy to be my own knight in rusty armour, sometimes it's nice to let others do the heroics XD

I'll dothe heroics then or we could persuade dear Gabe.

]

Lilith, I love your attitude. And while you do no meet the height requirement, I'd be more than glad to let you kill spiders for me any day.

Yay!! No chance that i could corupt you and make the guy weep? Sorry I had to check.