GRAND ANOUNCEMENT by Imperial Airways

[Captain Wally]

                                                      Imperial Airways
                                                Has reinvented  the concept of
                                                       Luxury Travel    

Imperial Airways is proud to announce the launch of a new Airship that is destined to be the last word in luxury travel.
The Sky Empress is ready to be launched on her maiden voyage.
 
                                                      The Grand Tour
Starting from London and ending in Shanghai. With stops at such exotic ports of call as Gibraltar, Cairo,
Bombay, Calcutta and Hong Kong.

Book your passage today for this historic voyage of adventure and excitement. Our luxurious suits and staterooms are filling fast.

The Sky Empress offers the finest amenities in the air!

          Dine at The Crown,
                      Elegant gourmet dinning at the top of The Sky Empress herself with panoramic views all
                      Around you. All our Chefs are Le Cordon Bleu trained.
         Enjoy a quite drink or smoke at our lounge, Window to the World. Yes its true! The floor of our
                      Lounge is made from tempered steal glass! Unmatched views day or night!
          Relax to the latest entertainment in our onboard theater! Yes music and dancing nightly.
                      We also feature all the latest theatrical performances of the London stage.
         When your done all our staterooms and suites have all the most modern luxuries imaginable.


The Sky Empress departs immediately, so sign on now and join Captain Horatio Wally for our Bon Voyage cocktail party in our Grand Ballroom.


Captain Horatio Wally

--------------------------
 
Please, No Riff Raff

[Sir Jonathan Fauntroy]

Ahh, Captain Wally, I would be proud to be included in this historic voyage. I had been planning a trip to Cairo, up the Nile for some hunting. So I am pleased to lend myself to this enterprise. Onward and upward!

If you would be so kind to direct me to the Grand Ballroom a glass of sherry as we depart would be very welcome indeed.

[Dr. Fu Manchu]

========================================================================
Telegram…..Telegram……Telegram…..Telegram
TO:    Imperial Airways
From: Dr Fu Manchu

News of your new ship with interest. STOP
Wish to book passage, a suit with ten adjoining staterooms for entourage of twenty, bound to Hong Kong. STOP
Will join you at Gibraltar, celebrating the death of long time adversary. STOP

Regards
Dr. Fu Manchu
=======================================================================

[Cornelius Nightshade]

Well I do find myself in need of a holiday, and an extended trip is just the thing, the ship sounds superb!
Leaving immediately too, perfect! I do need to get out of London just now { what better alibi } count me in for a round trip, Skipper!

Humm, seem to be a goodly number of wealthy ladies boarding as well. Better and better.

Wonder if some of the gents would be interested in a friendly little card game….

[Captain Wally]

Everyone! Welcome aboard the Sky Empress!
Just a few things,,

Dr. Fu Manchu we look forward to meeting you at Gibraltar. I must advise you however that WE guarantee the safety of all our passengers so NO weapons are permitted and must be checked for safe keeping with the Chief Purser.

And Mr. Nightshade  I am “Captain” Wally, Please do not call me “ Skipper” again.

Welcome again and have a drink and enjoy our trip!

[Sir Jonathan Fauntroy]

 “ Skipper” indeed!

 That Nightshade fellow struck me as nouveau riche when I set my eyes on him.
 What can one expect from such a low, didn’t I read something in the advertisement about No riff raff?

[Cornelius Nightshade]

I can think of one thing worse then the nouveau riche, an inbred highborn snob!
I can assure you Sir Jonathan You nor your title impress me.
We are living in a new world, one were such out dated notions are meaningless.

[Sir Jonathan Fauntroy]

Snob?
 SNOB IS IT?!
Let me assure you Mr. Nightshade I treat everyone equally no mater how lowly and  infearer he or she happens to be!

I no longer wish to continue to speak with you sir. I see the ship is about to depart so I will wish you.
 Good Day.

[Captain Wally]

The Grand Ballroom ifs filled and the “all boarding” is called.
With fire works and the shattering of a dozen champagne bottles the pride of the skies leaves its mooring mast on her first splendid voyage.

The crowed in the Ballroom pressed to the port and starboard windows to bid London a fond farewell.

[Cornelius Nightshade]

It only takes Mr. Nightshade about an hour to sink his claws into one Prunella Hunsicker. The widow of the former textile king of York Archibald Hunsicker.

A little flattery and the old matron was clinging to Nightshades arm totally unaware that her vast wealth was about to change hands.

[Captain Wally]

Ladies and gentlemen!
The Pot of Gold Casino is now open for your enjoyment!
Good Luck one and all!

[Sir Jonathan Fauntroy]

Sir Jonathan sitting in the Lounge with his feet up enjoying a glass of sherry.
Looking down at the glass floor he watched the rolling hills of southern France and northern Spain slip past.

Sir Jonathan had watched amused, as several ladies had taken the first steps on the transparent steel glass floor, most concerned someone on the ground would be able to see up their skirt!

One portly fellow walked the floor as if any moment he half expected the glass steel to shatter under his girth. As the passengers became more used to the experience the view became the rooms favorite feature.

[Mr. E. Blackadder]

Stepping into the lounge and avoiding the downward view.

{ I don’t like throwing up, never had.}

“ Someone give me a drink immediately I am in danger of sobering up! Oh how I hate flying, I certainly cant do it sober”

{Sinks into the chair next to Sir Jonathan.}

“ You have to feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day”

[Captain Wally]

Ladies and Gentlemen this is Captain Wally speaking.

 I do hope you are enjoying our flight. We are making good time, and should be arriving at the Gibraltar air park at six am in the morning. We will be enjoying a two day layover, to take on new passengers and supplies.  So feel free to disembark and see the sights.

Gibraltar has many sights worth seeing. Imperial Airways has arranged a tour of The Rock itself as well as a chance to see the justly famous Gibraltar monkeys. The town is full of lovely cafes and shops for your approval. Or perhaps a leisurely stroll along the seaside or sandy beach.

Of Corse you are also welcome to remain aboard and continue to enjoy The Sky Empresses hospitality.

[Thor]

So this is the sock puppet thread then?

I count 4 deck hands:
Two have only posted in this thread (no, wait, the thread starter posted one in textual pointing here)
One is definitely a sock puppet
The fourth is suspect...

If the posters here aren't other members messing around, I'll be very surprised.  And if they're not, then this thread definitely belongs in Textual, not meta clubs.

[Sir Nikolas Vendigroth]

Dr. Fu Manchu, Captain Wally, Sir Jonathon Fauntroy, Cornelius Nightshade and Mr. E Blackadder have all been banned. Any account found to be operated by the same person will also be banned.

Sock Puppetry is heavily discouraged on this forum. I'm sure we all remember the events of the last sock puppet show.

[S.Sprocket]

topic locked as most of this is just one person talking to themselves.  Also a thread of this nature is textual not meta clubs.