OK, for those who are getting lost in the secret passageways, my uncle designed a bunch of those, to help us control the, erm, Ealtors-ray...*looks askance at companion*...and I have the blueprints; feel free to come and have a look, while they're still up-to-date. Be aware that the passages and stairways around here are designed to change on their own every now and again, the better to confuse our...enemies...so you'll want to keep visiting often to stay on top of it. Wouldn't want any House of Leaves problems, after all.
Erm...no, dear, you can't look. No, I won't say why. You can just come with me when you need to visit; I've already left word that they're to call if you turn up without me. No, I won't say why! Look, we went and looked at houses in Mongolia on your say-so, right? So do this one my way, for me, see?...ok, you have a deal. Sigh.
*Silently resigns himself to another afternoon of fake house-hunting in distant and forbidding locations*
