Author Topic: Stoopid instrukshuns  (Read 32649 times)

Herr Döktor

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #50 on: May 16, 2009, 04:05:37 pm »
Always amused and amazed me that back in the seventies Dr. Who U.N.I.T stories, the top secret U.N.I.T base always seemed to have a sign outside announcing who they were and what went on there...

Von Gast

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #51 on: May 16, 2009, 04:24:40 pm »
Torchwood are similar. Buzzing around Cardiff in a very unique Range Rover with "Torchwood" stamped on the front wings. Yep, they won't have every Land Rover enthusiast in the area noticing them and posting it in the Spotted section of the forums!  ;)

Dr cornelius quack

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #52 on: May 16, 2009, 04:50:20 pm »
What better way to hide an active secret nuclear bunker than to disguise it as a disused secret nuclear bunker?

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Lucifargundam

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #53 on: May 16, 2009, 04:53:16 pm »
I see new ones all the time... i just forget to remember them.

Zwack

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #54 on: May 16, 2009, 05:54:58 pm »
I love "Serving Suggestions" myself.  Usually they're something far fetched like "put them in a bowl with a sprig of mint" from a can of peas. 

Presumably they're trying to warn you that when you open the can there is no mint, nor are there any bowls. 

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akumabito

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #55 on: May 16, 2009, 06:34:28 pm »

:



Mrs. Sullivan

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #56 on: May 16, 2009, 07:55:18 pm »
I love "Serving Suggestions" myself.  Usually they're something far fetched like "put them in a bowl with a sprig of mint" from a can of peas. 

Presumably they're trying to warn you that when you open the can there is no mint, nor are there any bowls. 

Z.

Well, if they showed a photo of the actual congealed lump of foodstuff on the label, there would never be any sales. :)

My favorite stupid instructions came with a pair of pantyhose - showed how to put them on.  To those of you who have not read these instructions:  If you find yourself with pantyhose on your head, you're doing it wrong!
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David Godfrey Esq.

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #57 on: May 16, 2009, 08:31:09 pm »
I once saw a road sign for a "Government Military Base", or something along those lines of Relatively Important To Keep Secret. Now fair enough, I don't think a whole load of terrorists are going to be driving along crammed into the back of a Toyota Yaris, but that still strikes me as a slightly silly road sign.

It may be an urban myth, but I seem to recall that the Post Office Tower was not included on maps during the Cold War. Given that until 1980 it had a revolving restaurant I'm not quite sure why they hid it.
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The Kernel

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #58 on: May 16, 2009, 09:22:58 pm »
Certainly many "sensitive" factories and similar were omitted from OS maps until reciently, eg nuclear fuel and reprocessing plants.
It was slightly surreal seeing open fields on a map, but a huge modern factory in reality.

Von Gast

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #59 on: May 16, 2009, 09:52:13 pm »
The OS is far from infallible. There are a couple of byways near me that are marked wrongly. One is shown spearing across the countryside where there is no visible track, the other is shown proceeding directly into a rock face. Generally we follow the obvious track around the outcrop!

The Kernel

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #60 on: May 16, 2009, 09:57:03 pm »
You mean you deviate from the published "Right-of-Way"

Horrors :o

Von Gast

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #61 on: May 16, 2009, 10:20:19 pm »
You mean you deviate from the published "Right-of-Way"

Horrors :o

Only because I have yet to work out how to drive straight up a cliff!  :D

I would imagine that some poor chap in their offices got a bit confused and dragged the route in the wrong direction. The one going into a rocky outcrop seems to make a 90 degree turn specifically in order to do so, as opposed to the track on the ground which is clearly visible skirting it.

The Kernel

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #62 on: May 16, 2009, 10:25:43 pm »
I believe this is traditionally attributed to a groove in the tabletop when the map is being drawn :D

Vienna Fahrmann

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #63 on: May 17, 2009, 02:49:49 am »

     This is a translation, rather than an instruction, but I was reading through the "how to ask for food" section of an American friends German-English phrase book & came across "I would like a piece of tasty whale".  Uhm, as far as I know, whale is not a staple item in modern German, Swiss, or Austrian cuisine.  There were some other pretty odd phrases in other sections, too, but I remember the whale one the best.

     Vienna

David Godfrey Esq.

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Re: Stoopid instrukshuns
« Reply #64 on: May 17, 2009, 07:23:31 am »
I have a 1960s English/French phrasebook which contains such useful lines as "Is the North Atlantic treaty as dead as a doornail?"