The Steampunk Forum at Brass Goggles
September 20, 2020, 02:10:27 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News: Support BrassGoggles! Donate once or $3/mo.
 See details here.
 
   Home   Blog Help Rules Login Register  
Pages: 1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 [14] 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 ... 100   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: >The Smoking Room< The Lady's have a tearoom, so here's a Gentleman's Club  (Read 199508 times)
cyberjacques
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Inventor, Member of the Van Helsing Society


« Reply #325 on: June 09, 2009, 06:11:58 pm »

Erm, cyberjacques...you...aren't a Realtor, are you?  *suspicious look*

Egads, no!  Vile creatures, with their listings and their yard signs and their *shudder* briefcases.  My dear sister and her husband recently had an infestation of the vermin, and it was so bad they had to move...  Besides, just look into my eyes, and you will see a soul instead of a bottomless pit of darkness.  Easiest way to tell.

As for the doorman, I'm sure that between the lot of us we could come up with a suitable automaton to perform the job.  Plus, it would be immune to the vile magics of the Realtors.  It could be equipped with a myriad of weaponry for every occasion.  Including a net launcher.  Hmm, I appear to have run out of port.  While we're replacing the doorman, perhaps we could produce a handful of butler-bots as well...
Logged

"To mewl and blabber about a treasure map, in front of this particular crew, demonstrates a level of ineptitude that borders on the imbecilic.  And I mean that in a very caring way."
                                                     ~Captain Amelia of the RLS Legacy, Treasure Planet
cyberjacques
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Inventor, Member of the Van Helsing Society


« Reply #326 on: June 09, 2009, 06:13:26 pm »

*following Ms Rose* Oh! Hello boys! Cheesy

Curses, my arch rival has arrived!  Here to spy on me, are you?  *glares suspiciously*
Logged
fireheart storm
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Monster hunter, researcher, & cyberjacques's rival


WWW
« Reply #327 on: June 09, 2009, 06:35:50 pm »

*following Ms Rose* Oh! Hello boys! Cheesy

Curses, my arch rival has arrived!  Here to spy on me, are you?  *glares suspiciously*

 Grin Even if I where, in theory, here to spy on you.  Would I tell you that? *smiles a little to innocently*
Logged

darkshines
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Wales Wales


Miss Katonic 1898


« Reply #328 on: June 09, 2009, 06:37:30 pm »

*watches boys through a crack in the secret door*
Logged

Every time you say "cog" when you mean "gear" or "sprocket", Cthulu kills a kitten. 
 
www.etsy.com/shop/celticroseart
cyberjacques
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Inventor, Member of the Van Helsing Society


« Reply #329 on: June 09, 2009, 07:42:51 pm »

Gentlemen, we have spies among us.  And why is there not a "doorman" at the secret entrance?  We need automatons, I tell you!  And butler-bots with flamethrowers.  With a cigar setting and a Realtor setting.
Logged
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #330 on: June 09, 2009, 10:07:20 pm »

Gentlemen, I have an idea.

We have recently had an infestation of certain vile humanoids; why not use these bodies to create our automatons/golems? Reduce, recycle, reuse are the watchwords of the new generation; why not step on this bandwagon?  They look enough like Realtors to fool their compatriots, if necessary, but the Realtor-ness has been burned out of them.  Their history as such, however, leaves them without...other more typical distractions...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Their listings, briefcases, business cards, and lawn signs have been confiscated.  Their license have been burned in a proper ceremony.  What is there now to fear from these specimens?  And since they are technically deceased, we have ample time to search them for any additional, unanticipated Realtoresque weaponry, and have it properly defused.  Being an expert on same, I hereby volunteer for that last part.  Those who wish to search these bodies, should you find anything of which you are unsure, pass it this way.

Behold the pseudo-Realtor zombie army!  Muahahaha!!!!!

(Watch out for those little lapel pins they wear.  I don't believe those have any nefarious powers, but they could poke you.)

[Edited to add:  There is a swirling dark cloud of doom currently forming over the house - IRL!  I believe I shall power down and rejoin this esteemed company later. Wink ]
« Last Edit: June 09, 2009, 10:09:14 pm by Nikola Tesla » Logged

"An announcement that a poetry-reading is about to take place will empty a room quicker than a water-cannon." - Daniel C. Stove, The Oracles and Their Cessation

Remember, if it's the Warden Regulant asking, you did NOT see this.
fireheart storm
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Monster hunter, researcher, & cyberjacques's rival


WWW
« Reply #331 on: June 09, 2009, 10:54:54 pm »

Gentlemen, we have spies among us.  And why is there not a "doorman" at the secret entrance?  We need automatons, I tell you!  And butler-bots with flamethrowers.  With a cigar setting and a Realtor setting.
*places her hands on her hips and scowls* oh you, you know I at the very least would make short work of somethign like that.  I have no doubt some of the other ladies could as well. Grin
Logged
cyberjacques
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Inventor, Member of the Van Helsing Society


« Reply #332 on: June 09, 2009, 11:07:03 pm »

Gentlemen, we have spies among us.  And why is there not a "doorman" at the secret entrance?  We need automatons, I tell you!  And butler-bots with flamethrowers.  With a cigar setting and a Realtor setting.
*places her hands on her hips and scowls* oh you, you know I at the very least would make short work of somethign like that.  I have no doubt some of the other ladies could as well. Grin

My dear, I wouldn't dream of throwing a flamethrower-wielding butler-bot at you, at least not for such a minor infraction.  No, they are for lighting fine cigars and torching evil Realtors.  We deal with our ladyfolk in a more gentile manner.  Like net launchers.

OOC:  Would you be willing to help me resurrect the boasting thread in your signature?  I tried to a while ago, but it didn't last long.  It was ever so much fun, and people really seemed to enjoy it.  Whadya say?  Oh, and anyone else willing to participate is very welcome to do so.
Logged
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #333 on: June 09, 2009, 11:12:19 pm »

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!SNERK!mmm *smacks his lips* Somebody close the library wall, there's a draft coming in. And don't try the chandelier tunnel, its not stabl--oh. Well, as long as they don't find the priest-door, there's a bomb in there in there...(sudden tremblor) haarrrummph! So much for the priest-door. I'd better not mention the other five secret passageways... *ambles over to the bar, pulls back on the faucet, causing the billiard table to sink into the floor, flip over, and reveal a Stanley Steamer, flash boiler firing up* anybody need a ride home?
Logged

Walk softly and carry a big banjo...

""quid statis aspicientes in infernum"
fireheart storm
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Monster hunter, researcher, & cyberjacques's rival


WWW
« Reply #334 on: June 09, 2009, 11:59:28 pm »

*places her hands on her hips and scowls* oh you, you know I at the very least would make short work of somethign like that.  I have no doubt some of the other ladies could as well. Grin

My dear, I wouldn't dream of throwing a flamethrower-wielding butler-bot at you, at least not for such a minor infraction.  No, they are for lighting fine cigars and torching evil Realtors.  We deal with our ladyfolk in a more gentile manner.  Like net launchers.

OOC:  Would you be willing to help me resurrect the boasting thread in your signature?  I tried to a while ago, but it didn't last long.  It was ever so much fun, and people really seemed to enjoy it.  Whadya say?  Oh, and anyone else willing to participate is very welcome to do so.

oh Please sir! Your tenderness  makes me swoon  Roll Eyes

OOC: I have done it! *laughs evil* *coughs* um yes, er, I should go find others to join.... *scurries off*
Logged
cyberjacques
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Inventor, Member of the Van Helsing Society


« Reply #335 on: June 10, 2009, 12:17:42 am »

On a side note, everyone, I do encourage you all to visit the Boasting Challenge thread:

http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=11072.50

It's more fun than a zombie caught in a cotton gin.  If you don't feel like participating, at least read a few of the boasts, they're too funny.  And what is a Gentleman's Smoking Room without some outlandish boasting about past exploits?
Logged
helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #336 on: June 10, 2009, 01:04:55 am »

*Snores*
Logged

In smoggiest day, in sooted night
no ignorance shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship ignorance's might,
beware my power... Brass Goggles light!
MWBailey
Rogue Ætherlord
*
United States United States


"This is the sort of thing no-one ever believes"

rtafStElmo
« Reply #337 on: June 10, 2009, 03:45:16 am »

I don't uinderstand it. whenever I offer to drive anyone anywhere, they alway smake some sort of excuse and disappear.
*notices the emptiness, save for one snoring fellow onm a armchair*
*pushes teh faucet back, watches as teh billiard table reasserts and re-orients itself*
*goes back to his previous zeat, cvers his fac ewith the news paper, and drops back into a snoring slumber...*

"ssskkkkkkkkknnnnnnnnnnnxxxxxxxxxxxxxxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."
Logged
Dr. Hastings
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Canada Canada


listen first, then learn to speak


« Reply #338 on: June 10, 2009, 06:25:50 am »

*smashing through the bottom shelf of liqueur* I've caught that damn chicken! BWAHAHAHAHA!
Oh dear. I've created quite the mess. My word! How did I manage that? oh. Oh. OH. Gadzooks. WEeeeeellllll,.,.,. *Runs off* Ahh!
Logged

Learn to listen to the world around you first, you will find the words you need from living.
helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #339 on: June 10, 2009, 07:19:59 am »

*Snores*
Logged
Dr. Hastings
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Canada Canada


listen first, then learn to speak


« Reply #340 on: June 10, 2009, 07:25:46 am »

*after running into a wall, fleeing is not by forte
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Brush myself off* My word! That man is still asleep! He's worse then the door man!
Logged
Mssr Delaney
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States


To wit, gentlemen!


WWW
« Reply #341 on: June 10, 2009, 10:26:17 am »

But indeed, Dr. Hastings, if he were awake all the time, we could not draw monocles on his face.
Logged

Owner, mate, cook ect. of Capt. Emptimind.
darkshines
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Wales Wales


Miss Katonic 1898


« Reply #342 on: June 10, 2009, 10:31:33 am »

May I present my exhousemate, who passed out at 8pm after three pints, in our communal kitchen.

Warning, contains adult language that may offend:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Miss Kins
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Several palm trees short of a fruit cake.


« Reply #343 on: June 10, 2009, 10:45:35 am »

May I present my exhousemate, who passed out at 8pm after three pints, in our communal kitchen.

Warning, contains adult language that may offend:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Three?  Surely he should hand his man-card in for that  Tongue.
Logged

''Sure, it's all fun and games until the tentacled lizard-spider that was your crotch tells you that everything is made of Tuesday because only the sky can cook happiness.''
helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #344 on: June 10, 2009, 11:57:49 am »

*Wipes ink off face. Continues snoring*
Logged
Titus Wells
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Forward The Steamtomaton Apocalypse!


WWW
« Reply #345 on: June 10, 2009, 12:19:06 pm »

Splutters back to consciousness... "Did someone say Realtor? What? Gone? Yawn...."

Falls asleep again.
Logged

"Who would have guessed that behind the formidable brow of his, which appeared to be made of some kind of rook, there lay so strange a mixture of memories and thoughts?"

Captain Reech
Officer
***
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #346 on: June 10, 2009, 02:24:32 pm »

May I present my exhousemate, who passed out at 8pm after three pints, in our communal kitchen.

Warning, contains adult language that may offend:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Three?  Surely he should hand his man-card in for that  Tongue.


It depends on what they were pints of! I once tried pints of red wine as an experiment and I only made it to four before making an exhibition of myself!
Logged

"I didn't 'Blow it up' I 'Modified the way it works' OK?"
darkshines
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Wales Wales


Miss Katonic 1898


« Reply #347 on: June 10, 2009, 02:38:58 pm »

It was Carling, hahaha!
Logged
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #348 on: June 10, 2009, 03:10:48 pm »

*enters with grocery bag*

Actually, there's yet another possible solution to our doorman problem, especially since it appears we are going to need multiple doormen.  I rethought the Zombie Realtor Army idea - too risky, especially if non-zombie Realtors begin to note how many of their number have gone missing - and I realized I could just pop down to the local Farmers' Market and find many items that are smarter than a Realtor.

*presents a cabbage, a cheese, and a bag of apples*

Each of these items is not only smarter than your average real estate agent (and native intelligence might be a very good thing in a doorman employed by such a distinguished organization as this one), but much cheaper, especially when purchased in bulk.  I would not recommend, ever, purchasing Realtors in bulk.  Should we ever need one of those, I'm sure we could arrange to license one or more of these comestibles.

*places eyeglasses on cabbage*

There.  We could even rig it to snore occasionally, freeing our members to enjoy their port in peace.  Now, I think it's time for the paper.

*Opens newspaper.  Back page features pictures of missing persons, including several Realtors and a cabbage*
Logged
steampunkgrrrl
Guest
« Reply #349 on: June 10, 2009, 03:13:28 pm »

*wakes up, stretching in her chair*

Tesla : That should fool 'em.

*pours herself a cup of coffee* Mornin' gents. *wonders why there's chicken feathers all over her...and why there's a large hole in the floor....*
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 [14] 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 ... 100   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.328 seconds with 16 queries.