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Author Topic: >The Smoking Room< The Lady's have a tearoom, so here's a Gentleman's Club  (Read 184778 times)
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #275 on: June 04, 2009, 11:14:37 pm »

No one is letting them in.  They are breaking in, using their unfathomable Realtor powers at getting into any indoor space.

I say we need to add to the club bylaws, that they are to be shot on sight.

*snaps on rubber gloves and hands Miss Kins and Violet Rose each a pair*

Now, let me train you ladies in on how to safely clean up in here.  These papers are known as "listings".  You'll find a picture and stats on a house on each one.  Don't look to closely at them.  If you find any more arcane looking real estate documents, let me know immediately!  That means they got someone.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2009, 11:23:10 pm by Nikola Tesla » Logged

"An announcement that a poetry-reading is about to take place will empty a room quicker than a water-cannon." - Daniel C. Stove, The Oracles and Their Cessation

Remember, if it's the Warden Regulant asking, you did NOT see this.
bizarre_chicken
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


I like vegetarians, but I couldn't eat a whole one


WWW
« Reply #276 on: June 04, 2009, 11:32:07 pm »

Someone explain to me why all these ladies are wandering in here?
We leave their blasted team room alone!
Logged



Click here for win. ---^
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #277 on: June 04, 2009, 11:34:11 pm »

*starts pawing through the small stack of business cards*

Hm...some of these agents are...er..."conventionally attractive"?

Maybe that has something to do with it?
Logged
Violet Rose
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #278 on: June 04, 2009, 11:38:40 pm »

No one is letting them in.  They are breaking in, using their unfathomable Realtor powers at getting into any indoor space.

I say we need to add to the club bylaws, that they are to be shot on sight.

*snaps on rubber gloves and hands Miss Kins and Violet Rose each a pair*

Now, let me train you ladies in on how to safely clean up in here.  These papers are known as "listings".  You'll find a picture and stats on a house on each one.  Don't look to closely at them.  If you find any more arcane looking real estate documents, let me know immediately!  That means they got someone.

*shudder* Have you any tongs?
Logged

I'm in Darkshines sewing swap!

Declaring war on mediocrity and a pox on the foot soldiers of stupidity
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #279 on: June 04, 2009, 11:42:00 pm »

Right here!  No Realtor Slayer should ever be without them.

And here are plastic baggies for the business cards.

Oh, and masks!  Wouldn't want a visit from Occupational Health.  We've had enough gatecrashers for one day!
Logged
Miss Kins
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Several palm trees short of a fruit cake.


« Reply #280 on: June 05, 2009, 12:45:42 am »

Someone explain to me why all these ladies are wandering in here?
We leave their blasted team room alone!

As I believe was stated in the tea room some time ago, if you're willing to adopt a skirt and corset you are more than welcome in there  Wink.

I'll vouch for Miss Kins- she really is no lady.

Hang on, that came out wrong...

I'll have a glass of brandy and rephrase that later...

Huh

One of the more doolally-rational compliments insults erm, well, errr *head asplode* THINGS said to aid my case in anything  Wink.

*Pats the silly Doctor on the head, goes back to bubble-pipe*.
Logged

''Sure, it's all fun and games until the tentacled lizard-spider that was your crotch tells you that everything is made of Tuesday because only the sky can cook happiness.''
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #281 on: June 05, 2009, 12:50:08 am »

Adopt a skirt and corset?  By "adopt" I presume you mean wear.

Being as how I couldn't fit in a corset, I suppose I'll remain here.  The tea is probably less fancy, but it's of suitable quality and acceptable, and we of course have port.

I believe I'll have one now.  It's been a hard day in my profession, as you can tell.
Logged
clockwork creation
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Rapscallion Smile


« Reply #282 on: June 05, 2009, 12:51:07 am »

who are those figures by the windows ? .... there just standing there
Logged

I am a freak in control not a control freak
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #283 on: June 05, 2009, 12:54:12 am »

Never mind them!  Have we not had enough for one day?

If they're Realtors' ghosts, they'll just have to wait.

Now there is the fact that they have a whole organization and network same as we do; however, no way could it have responded so quickly...

...by the way, I have some tips for the help on getting those signs down.  That may be part of the problem.
Logged
Miss Kins
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Several palm trees short of a fruit cake.


« Reply #284 on: June 05, 2009, 12:57:06 am »

Don't worry, we'll protect you.  No pesky buggers getting through with those....briefcases again O_O.
Logged
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #285 on: June 05, 2009, 01:00:11 am »

Yeah, those briefcases are awful, aren't they?

I've been working on a design idea for a fake one, to be used as a bait-and-trap-in-one.  Real estate agents, tremble in fear of the fake estate agents!

*brandishes half-completed false briefcase full of coils and clockwork*

Right now it's just rigged to deliver a powerful electric shock; ideas are welcome for making it more...creative...
Logged
clockwork creation
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Rapscallion Smile


« Reply #286 on: June 05, 2009, 01:02:39 am »

it would seem those figures are all very nervous door canvassers. i gave them some gin and they left  Cheesy
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Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #287 on: June 05, 2009, 01:04:48 am »

Good.  We don't need any of those either.

Now where is that port?  Has the help simply been terrified into hiding?

*Opens newspaper.  Mr. Tesla's own advertisement, "AUTOMATONS WANTED FOR SPECIAL PROJECT - FINANCIAL COMPENSATION OFFERED" is visible on the back page*
« Last Edit: June 05, 2009, 01:06:32 am by Nikola Tesla » Logged
Skinner
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Captain Charlotte J. Skinner, Airship Scalleywag


« Reply #288 on: June 05, 2009, 09:47:19 am »

Don't give em our Gin! They're like beggin' dogs, they'll know we're soft and come back!

-is sitting in a window seat, clutching a rifle, peering out-

Does anyone know how to go about becoming an honorary Gentleman?
Logged
helios
Zeppelin Overlord
*******
New Zealand New Zealand


Probably not Death, the Destroyer of Worlds

eliasvonhelios
WWW
« Reply #289 on: June 05, 2009, 09:55:28 am »

Talk to the Queen?
Logged

In smoggiest day, in sooted night
no ignorance shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship ignorance's might,
beware my power... Brass Goggles light!
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #290 on: June 05, 2009, 02:22:56 pm »

I have to admit, this is the first Gentlemen's Club I have ever attended where someone had to be posted to guard the window.

*mobile phone rings*

D--n!  I know I turned that off! - How...Huh

*looks at phone*  Oh no.

*answers*  Don't you ever pay attention to my greeting?  It's always a bad time!  No don't touch that!  What did I tell you about small children?!  - No they can't!  

Weather machine?  What weather machine!  You can see clearly it's a washer/dryer...no!  If I see any pictures of that on the interwebs I'll sue you to next Tuesday!  What is wrong with you people?

What do you mean your associate has fallen into a "spiked pit"?  Does it say "spiked pit" anywhere on your "listing"? No?  Ergo there is no spiked pit!  Just leave your associate behind, I'm sure he'll catch up.
Logged
Herr Döktor
Gadgeteer, Contraptionist, and Inventor, FVSS
Governor
Master Tinkerer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Herr Döktor, and friend.


WWW
« Reply #291 on: June 05, 2009, 07:48:10 pm »

Talk to the Queen?

That's no way to talk about the Club Secretary! Oh, you don't mean him, sorry.

The main problem with ladies in a Gentleman's club is their infernal wittering and distracting nature, I'm sure us stout-hearted chaps have stiff enough upper lips not to be distracted, and the one or two woman that have managed to gain egress into our establishment have proved themselves not to be witterers, so I'm happy to let them stay.

Anyway, Captain Skinner is a disciple of Sappho, so she's more of a man than a lot of the chaps I was at boarding school with...

...Which includes the Club Secretary.

Wink
Logged

steampunkgrrrl
Guest
« Reply #292 on: June 06, 2009, 06:46:43 pm »

*slightly opening the door and tiptoeing in quietly* *sneaking past the guard*
Logged
bizarre_chicken
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


I like vegetarians, but I couldn't eat a whole one


WWW
« Reply #293 on: June 06, 2009, 06:54:36 pm »

*slightly opening the door and tiptoeing in quietly* *sneaking past the guard*

We really should sack that doorman. I'm sure a cardboard cut-out of a well-dressed gent would be a much cheaper replacement, with almost no change in how well-guarded the door currently is.
Logged
steampunkgrrrl
Guest
« Reply #294 on: June 06, 2009, 07:11:37 pm »

He's alright. I've been lurking around for a while, just thought it was time to make my presence known.  Smiley
And I greatly enjoyed the way the realtors were handled. Good show.
*pouring myself a jack & coke**lighting up my cigarillo*
Logged
Violet Rose
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom



« Reply #295 on: June 06, 2009, 09:29:41 pm »

He's always been nice to me
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Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #296 on: June 07, 2009, 03:32:04 am »

Well, gentlemen...

*rises*

It appears that the Full Moon is scheduled to be exact some time tomorrow, making it technically full tonight.  So, my services will likely be needed in my home town.  I'd best get working.

By the way, it also appears, due to recent events, that I will possibly need a new lair in the near future...any idea who I'd talk to about that?
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Mssr Delaney
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States


To wit, gentlemen!


WWW
« Reply #297 on: June 07, 2009, 04:28:43 am »

Nobody. If it's a really good lair, you'll need to be doing it all yourself.
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Owner, mate, cook ect. of Capt. Emptimind.
Nikola Tesla
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Angel of Timefoolery


« Reply #298 on: June 07, 2009, 04:35:47 am »

You're probably right.

*flips through stack of business cards*

Let's see...this one won't talk to me...sued that one's @--...blocking my calls...in my freezer...in my freezer...still running at last observation...burned that one's license in front of it to make it cry at an occult ritual...same there...that one's still in the pit...disappeared...disappeared...prison...

...yep, I'd say you're definitely right.  In more convenient news, I may have the night off after all.
Logged
Mssr Delaney
Snr. Officer
****
United States United States


To wit, gentlemen!


WWW
« Reply #299 on: June 07, 2009, 04:37:33 am »

Ah? Has your home town found someone else to take care of their problem?
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