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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1500 on: August 08, 2009, 10:42:53 pm » |
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Sorry...I was talking to our...entertainment...
*Gestures at large terrarium containing a few miniature properties and a bunch of tiny real estate agents, who endlessly sell said properties to each other for gerbil pellets*
...a sort of ant farm. If you see this before you go, have a great time in Scotland, and thanks for the vodka!
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"An announcement that a poetry-reading is about to take place will empty a room quicker than a water-cannon." - Daniel C. Stove, The Oracles and Their Cessation
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
 England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1501 on: August 09, 2009, 11:04:39 am » |
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Can we put a hamster into that tank to liven things up? Everyone surely knows how they like to bite, chew and gnaw on things. I'd dearly love to see miniature estate agents fleeing the sharp teeth of such a little blighter.
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Persons intending to travel by open carriage should select a seat with their backs to the engine, by which means they will avoid the ashes emitted therefrom, that in travelling generally, but particularly through the tunnels, prove a great annoyance; the carriage farthest from the engine will in consequence be found the most desirable.
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helios
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« Reply #1502 on: August 09, 2009, 11:24:46 am » |
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And we shall call him Pablo! Pablo the Destroyer!
*Produces Pablo the Destroyer, and places him into the tank*
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In smoggiest day, in sooted night no ignorance shall escape my sight. Let those who worship ignorance's might, beware my power... Brass Goggles light! |
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Cpt. Tobias Warde
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« Reply #1503 on: August 09, 2009, 11:30:16 am » |
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Can't leave him in there without company <vaults out of the chair, and trots over to the tank, and places another hamster inside> There we are, Bartleby the Vicious!
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 G-Man, Half-life 2, Episode 2:"There was a time when they cared nothing for Miss Vance, when their only experience of humanity was a crowbar coming at them down a steel corridor" |
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1504 on: August 09, 2009, 11:31:06 am » |
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*watches in dismay as Pablo and Bartleby paw around the tank, then curl up and go to sleep*
Blast! They're nocturnal. Hold on, that's even better! They can pounce upon the miniature agents in the darkness of the night when they are sleeping!
...
Or...
*prods Pablo, who then jumps up and lashes out, nipping an agent in the back of his leg*
That's better. I say we let them attack the agents at night- it's cruel on the hamsters to keep them up all day.
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« Last Edit: August 09, 2009, 11:33:56 am by James Harrison »
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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1505 on: August 09, 2009, 08:57:01 pm » |
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Oh for heaven's sake! Now you've got them all arguing about the resulting declining property values. And a couple of them seem to be making plans for getting rid of the hamsters when they are sleeping!
*removes hamsters for now*
I say we put these in at odd intervals, and in differing parts of the tank. We can then watch the agents arguing about who gets the upstairs floors.
We wouldn't want the hamsters to eat them all at once, anyway. Nor would we want these guys to know what's really going on...let it be "mystery monsters" to them. They can pick off a few at a time, which I can easily replace in the morning...and we can seed the rumor that the new agents brought the monsters, to eliminate competition...getting these little guys to turn on each other is, I swear, easier than with those Siamese fighting fish.
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Athena
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« Reply #1506 on: August 10, 2009, 05:48:09 pm » |
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*stretches and wakes up, hearing muted screaming and loud squeaking* *squinting at the terrarium*
What are those hamsters doing to that realtor?
*stands up and stretches*
That was a nice nap...but I'm feeling a bit peckish, and I'm in need of a shower.
*goes to kitchen and puts on a pot of something, then walks to the showers*
*peeks head out with upswept hair and puts a sign on the door*
FEMALE BATHING PLEASE WAIT
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Athena
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« Reply #1507 on: August 10, 2009, 07:27:25 pm » |
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*coming out of the shower, clean* Much better. *smells something burning* OH SHI-
*runs in* Well, there went breakfast...maybe lunch then. *looks for bread and lunchmeats*
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1508 on: August 10, 2009, 07:51:24 pm » |
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*takes the hamsters out the cage and puts them in his mackintosh pockets* There, now they can sleep safe in their bunks. In lieu of hamsters until sundown, I present an alternative destroyer |
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Athena
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« Reply #1509 on: August 10, 2009, 07:52:46 pm » |
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But then there won't be any left for the hamsters to play with...unless you want to volunteer to go back to the hive?
*walks out with sandwich, chips and a glass of wine*
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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1510 on: August 10, 2009, 07:57:58 pm » |
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Like I said, I have plenty more at home. I know how to make them now. Talk about a non-marketable skill. But I don't see why we need destroy these. They can't even get out of the tank, the walls are too high. Letting a hamster get a few now and then would be entertaining, that I'd admit, but why destroy them all? They're a unique addition to the decor, and should one of the few remaining full-size agents in the world decide it would like to invade this place, the presence of its shrunken brethren would serve as a deterrent. Kind of like a skull on a pike, but clearer and more direct in its message, to allow for the low intelligence of the average specimen. And we wonder why this club can't have nice things. Sigh.  |
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Athena
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« Reply #1511 on: August 10, 2009, 07:59:19 pm » |
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Well, boys will have their toys. *taking a bite of sandwich and a drink of wine*
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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1512 on: August 10, 2009, 08:16:44 pm » |
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Now admittedly I can do far more entertaining things to these Realtors with the materials I have at home...
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Athena
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« Reply #1513 on: August 10, 2009, 08:19:28 pm » |
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Now admittedly I can do far more entertaining things to these Realtors with the materials I have at home...
You should bring those materials here then. Make for good entertainment. *eating chips without malt vinegar* *pouring more wine* |
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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1514 on: August 10, 2009, 08:26:47 pm » |
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Would people want that? It seems the more popular approach is to destroy all of them at once, without...erm...finesse...
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1515 on: August 10, 2009, 08:42:13 pm » |
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Oh, I'd like to see them destroyed with panache and finesse. My ruthless streak I personally would prefer to reserve for bankers, but we seem to be fresh out of them.
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Nikola Tesla
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« Reply #1516 on: August 10, 2009, 08:49:39 pm » |
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Well I can always come up with more mini-Realtors. I'd patent these if they were any use to anyone.
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Athena
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« Reply #1517 on: August 10, 2009, 10:10:49 pm » |
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Oh, I'd like to see them destroyed with panache and finesse. My ruthless streak I personally would prefer to reserve for bankers, but we seem to be fresh out of them.
Seconded.  |
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1518 on: August 13, 2009, 01:50:06 pm » |
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I've got one! I've got one! A miniaturised banker, that is. Now, where did I put that Bunsen burner and the beaker of H2SO4?
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Athena
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« Reply #1519 on: August 13, 2009, 05:56:36 pm » |
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Hmmm...quiet in here lately...that can't be good. Trouble must be caused, fun must be had...*scheming*
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1520 on: August 13, 2009, 07:20:57 pm » |
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SEIZE THAT MIDGET!!!
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Sorry, I was careless and my miniaturised banker scampered off. I think he's hiding under that Chesterfield over there. Pass me the fire bellows and I'll rectify the situation in a few moments.
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Athena
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« Reply #1521 on: August 13, 2009, 07:21:48 pm » |
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*hands the fire bellows* How are you going to get him out with these?
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1522 on: August 13, 2009, 07:29:29 pm » |
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Why, blow and/or suck him out of course! Works all the time on Tom & Jerry.
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Athena
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« Reply #1523 on: August 13, 2009, 07:36:53 pm » |
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With the exception of a few of us, we are not cartoon characters. For that you'd have to visit the Asylum.  I imagine this will be interesting to watch tho. *peeking under the table* |
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James Harrison
Rogue Ætherlord
England
Bachelor of the Arts; Master of the Sciences
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« Reply #1524 on: August 13, 2009, 07:38:34 pm » |
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*blows the bellowss, and amidst all the detritus under the Chesterfield there emerges a tiny little man, who jumps up and scarpers across the room*
There he goes! There he goes! Put a jam jar down or something! Anything to catch him!
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