I can see it now:
"Greetings, good ladies and gentlemen of <insert name of workplace here>! A lovely fellow by the name of Influenza(he's a foreign fellow) is looking for a temporary home. He rather enjoys traveling through cold places, and, being a rather sociable fellow, he happens to enjoy sharing his presence and company with several people at any given time. He requires quite a bit of food to stay strong and healthy, though if you need him to go away you might simply starve him for several days. Might anyone have a place in their hearts for him? Inquire at<insert phone number>."