Warlords, Rogue Generals, Captains, Engineers and Gentleman Adventurer's Club.

[Matthias Gladstone]

Theme tune: right, how about The Beautiful South's Carry On Regardless but performed by Rammstein? Arranged by Beethoven and remixed by Vernian Process.

With a flatulent sound at the end.

Approved!
And yes, marauding texans welcome.

[Sir Nikolas Vendigroth]

Theme tune: right, how about The Beautiful South's Carry On Regardless but performed by Rammstein? Arranged by Beethoven and remixed by Vernian Process.

With a flatulent sound at the end.

I can imagine them thrashing their way through it....

I love Rammstein, really 

[helios]

EXPLOSIONS!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHA!!!!

[MWBailey]

Approved!
And yes, marauding texans welcome.

Hurrah! *hangs the celebratory semaphores*

By the way, I truly love the  tune (the second one). The first one wasn't bad, I just can't see us playing it over the public address whilst we trade broadsides with an opponent...

MWBailey

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

I can't win everything. We were just having a gentlemanly appendage waving competition.  After all, digression is the better part of Valour.
-Matt

Yeah, yeah, you've all got unfeasably large airships/fleets/weaponry. But how many of you know one end of a wrench from another? Who has to shovel half a tonne of coal every day just keep ya boilers stoked? Us Grease Monkeys, that's who. But since you've invited us, the Neferious Sprockets Society will amble over from time to time and drink your booze share our experiences.

Right! I think I can speak for the Coal Shoveler's Brute Squad when I say we're happy to, ah, help in that area.

[MWBailey]

My boiler's not fired with coal, we use Kerosene. So, instead of three or four coal shovelers, we have one young fellow who operates a valve handle. Well, actually that's usually me.

[Sgt.Major Thistlewaite]

Salutations, Gentlemen,
*salute* I hope that you have no objection to an old non-com popping in..the "Gentleman Adventurer" appellation on the letterhead is appealing to me. Major Tinker, sar, it's good to know that you are provided with half-pay...my own pension was summarily withdrawn some years ago, due mainly to an unfortunate misunderstanding. I was stationed in the Far East, Peking to be exact, and after a night
of drinking absinthe and smoking opium with some local chappies and foreign officers, I became engaged in a somewhat heated debate with an old Chin...long white beard and eyebrows, you know the type...over the existence of certain "supernatural powers." Well, one thing led to another, and we shortly found ourselves in the alley-way behind the place, and, being egged on, as it were, by one particularly loud Prussian Colonel, this old Coolie insisted that he was quite bulletproof, and I was just addled enough to allow myself to participate. His "powers" proved to be spurious, at least in that regard, as one round from my Webley .455 sent his little round hat flying skywards...unfortunately with a significant portion of his little round head still in it. To make a long and rather tedious story somewhat shorter, it seems that this old character was some sort of high muckitty-muck in something called "The Righteous and Harmonious Fists." The whole affair escalated, and by the time the dust settled, it came to be known as "The Boxer Rebellion." Higher-ups more or less decided the whole blame for starting it could be ascribed to the aforementioned incident, and yours truly was quietly, but firmly, drummed from Service with the Horse Marines. In retrospect, perhaps the old fellow knew a thing or two, after all, as I appropriated his portmanteau as I was leaving the bar ( spoils of war, don't you know..), and found that it contained a fair number of bottled potions and Taoist alchemical concoctions, along with formulas for mixing more of the same.
Sampling them, I discovered one particular blend of juniper and ginseng to be quite palatable, and it became my habit to imbibe a small quantity every evening before retiring ...the practical upshot being that I am now, as of this writing, 155 years old, and as vigorous as a spotted pup!

At Your Service, Gentlemen,
I remain,
Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

My boiler's not fired with coal, we use Kerosene. So, instead of three or four coal shovelers, we have one young fellow who operates a valve handle. Well, actually that's usually me.

Economical, sure, but when you need a few strong lads for some grunt work, that's usually the time they'll be most scarce.

[von Corax]

[...] perhaps the old fellow knew a thing or two, after all, as I appropriated his portmanteau as I was leaving the bar ( spoils of war, don't you know..), and found that it contained a fair number of bottled potions and Taoist alchemical concoctions, along with formulas for mixing more of the same.
Sampling them, I discovered one particular blend of juniper and ginseng to be quite palatable, and it became my habit to imbibe a small quantity every evening before retiring ...the practical upshot being that I am now, as of this writing, 155 years old, and as vigorous as a spotted pup!

At Your Service, Gentlemen,
I remain,
Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite

My dear Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite:

You simply must drop round the Prometheus Club so we may dissect you discuss your remarkable discovery!

Warmest regards,

Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax

[helios]

No! Sarge! You mustn't listen to them! They plan horrific things for you! Head for the Safehouse for the Unassimalated, I'll meet you there at eight.

[Matthias Gladstone]

Stay here. We can resist with military force if necessary (as long as the general can bring his gentleman's club with him).
-Matt

[Sgt.Major Thistlewaite]

Gentlemen,
I find that this room suits me nicely, if, as I said, you have no objection to my status as a cashiered non-commissioned officer. The presence of heavy weapons has always given me comfort, and I do admire the decor. As to the "offer" of the Prometheus Club, rest assured, rolling the Gatling gun over there is too much troubleI am content to stay here and enjoy a nice Gin Rickey.

Cheers!
Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite

[Sir Nikolas Vendigroth]

Gentlemen,
I find that this room suits me nicely, if, as I said, you have no objection to my status as a cashiered non-commissioned officer. The presence of heavy weapons has always given me comfort, and I do admire the decor. As to the "offer" of the Prometheus Club, rest assured, rolling the Gatling gun over there is too much troubleI am content to stay here and enjoy a nice Gin Rickey.

Cheers!
Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite

Excellent, Sergeant, and we're glad to accomodate you here.

[von Corax]

Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite, I do apologize. It was merely the heat of unbridled scientific enthusiasm which prompted me to say what I said out loud.

I will reiterate my invitation for you to dine with us at the Promethius Club and to tell us of your miraculous potion. You would be perfectly safe, as dissecting a dinner guest is considered quite unseemly, and we can usually rely upon the Civil Union to provide victimsvolunteers to aid in our research.

Warmest regards,

Prof. Darwin Prætorius von Corax

[Sgt.Major Thistlewaite]

My Dear Professor von Corax,

With your assurance of safe conduct, it would be ungentlemanly of me to refuse your kind offer, therefore, I shall be happy to accommodate you. I shall also be happy not to have to transport the Gatling, as, with the steam drive for the actuator added ( allowing for a rate of fire of appx. 1600 rounds per minute, ) it weighs in the neighborhood of 100 stone. I seldom travel without it, as, besides having proven handy on more occasions than I care to enumerate, it makes an excellent advertisement for my skills as an armourer.
As regards vivisection, that shall prove to be quite unneccesary, as I had a nice bronze zipper installed quite some time ago. The aforementioned potions have proven more effective on some components than on others, and whilst quite satisfactorily keeping intact bone, muscle, nerve and blood, some of my other internals have withstood the vissicitudes of time less well...namely heart, lungs, liver and digestive tract. I had these replaced with substitutes of my own design, originally with coal-fired steam as a power source. I found this to be inconvenient, however, as the ingestion of anthracite coal on a daily basis was not only distasteful but ruinous to my dentition, requiring me to replace my natural teeth with titanium replacement implants. I kept my gall bladder for as long as I could stand it, as the diet of anthracite produced gallstones ( about once per fortnight) of pure diamond about the size of a pigeon's egg, becoming the foundation of most of my personal fortune. However, as I said, the ingestion of anthracite was not pleasing, and eventually a collaboration with my good friends Madam and Mssr. Curie produced a workable power plant, still steam driven but employing radium rather than coal as a heat source. Once that was brought into operation, the gall bladder became superfluous, and so I had it removed post-haste. The money already produced, properly invested, along with my side business of providing the majority of arms to small countries intent on subjugating their neighbours provide me with a generous and continuing source of income. I should note, to be fair, I also supply the neighbouring small countries with the arms to resist subjugation...a win-win situation...at least in so far as yours truly is concerned. But I digress...
What I am saying, Sir, is that if you wish to examine my innards, you are welcome to do so...provided of course that you can provide a relatively sterile environment in which to unzip me, and warning you that some substantial lead shielding should be in place should you wish to take a close look at my powerplant.
As to dinner, I subsist these days mainly on Gin and sardines..This should not prove too difficult a menu to procure.

Yours,
Sgt. Maj. Thistlewaite

[helios]

I can provide lead shielding. I have a lead lined suit I have employed many times to hunt Radio Active Moon Slugs. It is heavy, but works quite well.

[SteamBlast Mary]

*Happily chicks glasses with everyone*


*then waits to see how long it is before anyone notices the cunning use of the Mitford-Mulleter Patented Beverage Syphoning System TM*

[Matthias Gladstone]

Don't know what a syphoning system is.....
If your trying to siphon my drink though, it's a fast way of getting chucked out of here.
Shall I call security? Maybe not; last time those "modified" ogres made something of a mess.
Get it!
Hah.
-Matt

[Sgt.Major Thistlewaite]

I need to freshen my drink...can I get anyone anything while I'm up?

[helios]

A virgin Vodka and lime, thanks. I'm still underage.

Eight more months. Just eight...just eight.

[Matthias Gladstone]

port please, pint of.

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

Any stout you might find for myself - too kind, sir.

[Sgt.Major Thistlewaite]

Here you go, gents...Bottoms up!
Anyone know any other "classic" toasts?
 Thistlewaite

[von Corax]

"Confusion to the enemy!"

"May ye be in Heaven half an hour afore the Devil knows you're dead!"

...And there is that Toast to the Queen by McLean & McLean which I cannot remember and would not repeat if I could...

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

To be said quickly, to confuse your fellows:

Here's to you and yours
And here’s to mine and ours.
And if mine and ours
Ever come across to you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!

My absolute favorite, the one I've adopted as my own:

Here's to all the women I've loved, and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I have but one; that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women’s' faults are many, us men have only two:
Every single thing we say, and everything we do.

Bit of dark humour:

May you die in bed at 95 years,
Shot by a jealous wife!

And lastly, rhetoric and logic:

Not drunk is he who from the floor,
can rise again and still drink more!
But, drunk is he who prostrate lies,
without the power to drink or rise!

Can't well argue with that, no sirs.

Cheers!