Poltics , Religion and Sex

[Sgt Whats his name]

An English Lit. professor gave her class the following test question for a final exam.

  "Write an essay, which involves the following elements, Politics, Sex, Mystery, and Religion."

One ingenius student finished in 5 minutes and left.

The professor, very dubious at first read the one line and then began chuckling to herself and promptly marked the paper with an A.

The one line simply said,

" My GOD! The Queen is pregnant! Who did it?"

[Rowan of Rin]

Hehe, very clever.

Reminds me of the set essay topic "Define bravery". A student (possibly as ingenious) writes one sentence and hands it in.

"This is brave."

[lilibat]

Heh. Ok that was funny.

[Magister]

Reminds me of the one about the philosophy class, where on the final day, the professor walks in, picks up a chair and places it on a table at the front of the room and declares: "Using everything you've learned this semester, write an essay proving that this chair does not exist. You have two hours."

One student ponders for a moment, writes a few quick words and hands in his paper.

His essay: "What chair?"

[Albrecht]

I wonder if these are all urban legends.
The one I heard:

Philosophy Class, Nottingham Trent University.

"Is this a question?"

One student simply wrote: "Is this an answer?", got full marks.

[helios]

If that's how to get an A, I don't think I'd pass. I'd think of it, sure, but write it down? Only in a subject I didn't really care about.

[The_Steam_Master]

but then you would end up passing the one you didnt care about

...

i always liked the algebra one... find x *someone draws a circle around it in the question and an arrow saying 'here it is'*

or the physics one with the elephant... quite strange indeed

[Herkimer]

This is attacking the topic from another point of view, but here goes...

A group of students who know they are going to score poorly on their final conspire to come in late after a buddy has finished it and has slipped them a copy of the answers. 

Sure enough on the appointed day, the boys all show up late blaming their tardiness on a flat tire.
The professor graciously allows them to take the test anyway, but as he is busy he puts them in separate rooms. They gladly agree knowing it will be that much easier to cheat, until they see the last question worth 50 points, penciled in by the professor...

"Which tire?"

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

I'd say 'Didn't check'

[The_Steam_Master]

I'd say 'Didn't check'

then you sir, would WIN

[helios]

i always liked the algebra one... find x *someone draws a circle around it in the question and an arrow saying 'here it is'*

A friend of mine did that in a non-assessed test this year. He failed. Our Math teachers didn't have much of a sense of humour when it came to  "Being clever".

or the physics one with the elephant... quite strange indeed

What physics one? I did physics this year, pretty sure I failed.

[The_Steam_Master]

i always liked the algebra one... find x *someone draws a circle around it in the question and an arrow saying 'here it is'*

A friend of mine did that in a non-assessed test this year. He failed. Our Math teachers didn't have much of a sense of humour when it came to  "Being clever".

or the physics one with the elephant... quite strange indeed

What physics one? I did physics this year, pretty sure I failed.

this physics one

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[helios]

Damn. Wish I'd done that. At least my examiner could've had a laugh.

[Mlle A. Aurantia]

I still like the psychology class that, by paying attention or pretending not to, managed to train their professor over the semester to lecture from one side of the room, with his left foot resting on an overturned garbage can. They all turned in similar final projects titled "How We Trained You." They all passed with flying colors, and the professor never taught "Pavlov 101" again.

[Ainsly Wordsworth]

I took an anthropology class with a teacher I adored so I told my boyfriend to sit in one day because I think he ought to take the class next semester.  The subject that day was about ethnographers who go and live among different cultural groups and in order to thoroughly study them, become integrated as a member of said cultural group.

At the end of the class we had a quiz, and my teacher, though he knew all of our faces and most of our names at that point, handed my boyfriend a quiz paper as well.  At the end of class my boyfriend took it back to him completely blank and explained that he was just a visitor practicing being an ethnographer.  My teacher congratulated him on blending in and asked him to sign up for the class.

[The Kernel]

In my second year at university (in the mid-eighties, you can probably guess the course from my other posts) we had a series of lectures on "Abnormal Sexual Behaviour", the year group was 200 strong, the lectures were delivered in a 360 seat lecture theatre, it was standing room only at the back!

[Rowan of Rin]

In my second year at university (in the mid-eighties, you can probably guess the course from my other posts) we had a series of lectures on "Abnormal Sexual Behaviour", the year group was 200 strong, the lectures were delivered in a 360 seat lecture theatre, it was standing room only at the back!

That is bloody hilarious! We are predictable creatures, aren't we

[Sk1n]

Some real papers you all might get a kick out of.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Sean Patrick O-Byrne]

Classic, but that last letter scares me.

[helios]

It's not good that a student who does that is told such things. Also, the others are hilarious.

[rovingjack]

reminds me of two moments in my own education one was me being deliberately difficult and one displaying one of my other personality traits that proved I was better not going into abnormal psych.

I was in math class in High school and the teacher was explaining that by graphic the problem and seeing that the resultant point only contacted certain line once, therefore it was ....

I raised my hand and he asked what I needed.

I replied that since a point is defined as having o,o,o as it's dimesnions theoretically one could fit both an infinite number of points within the point itself and none within it and therefore it didn't exist.

Now I was just sort of playing around but the fact that the only thing the teacher could think to say after a two min pause was, Just be quiet, sort of made me question things a bit more.

The other time was a psych exercise where the entire class is handed a peice of paper that describes a person and we have to say wether he is stable or not based on the scenerio on the page. Members of the class argue back and forth. It comes my turn to explain why I think the scenerio is not indicative of a problem.

I defend the character and about half the class is agreeing with me... up until I get to the point where I say "If he is collecting toilet paper tubes, what is the problem?" Half of them look at me puzzled and the other half look at me pityingly.

It occurs to everybody that half of us have been handed a differant scenerio. All the people who have the man collecting stamps think there is no problem (accept maybe with me) and the other half who have a guy hoarding toilet paper tubes thinks he's a loon. I'd not only exposed the trick I'd been the only one to see no problem with the scenerio that was meant to be wrong.

By all means lets get the man a hug me jacket and an expensive perscription, while you guys do that I've got some paper craft projects that need some toilet paper tubes.

[quantumcat]

I remember the story of a religion/ethics/what-have- you  class that was approached  by a  rather scruffy,delusional- looking man on the way to the final exam.

Most of the students ignored him.

Some tossed him a bit of cash and offered to assist him later.

Others reported the man to campus security.

ONE student brought him inside,got him food and beverage,cleaned him up in the restroom,left him with the student's coat and called human services on his behalf.

To his surprise,the teacher still hadn't arrived when the student entered the room where the last test was being held.

Shortly,the importuning bum  entered  the room and sat at the instructor's desk and read the story of the Good Samaritan.

By now,the whole class recognized their teacher as he removed his disguise.

He walked up to his benefactor and returned the student's gifts.

He informed the student that he had received the single perfect score of the class.

(The rest would be repeating the course if they wanted credit.)

This story has allegedly occurred at various times in many places  but all suggest that true compassion is more valuable than mere "book-larnin'".


(BTW,it's obvious the tp roll collector was the crafty sort - or was in need of cheap,free toys for small pets like sugar gliders.)

[Kaljaia]

I'd argue there's a difference between collecting and hoarding... though I do both on occasion.


I once turned heptane into a ski slope when asked to identify the chain on a chem exam. The TA thought it was pretty cute, but I still didn't get credit for it. I did, however, get credit for sketching the illustration of the first man on the moon, by memory, from our textbook when I couldn't remember his name for a quiz.

[The_Steam_Master]

my girlfriend had an astronomy exam on tuesday, and, to help her revise i quoted many lyrics from Astronomy Domine by Pink Floyd, i said she should put some of them where you write your name, she never did though, which is a good thing, cause its one of her final exams

[Magister]

Ethics classes have the most interesting exams.

I remember my own final exam from when I took an ethics class. This was the last question on the exam:

"For each ethical system we have studied this semester answer, and justify your answer to the following question: Assuming vampires are real, and must consume human blood to survive, should people be required to give blood to them?"

The craziest part, was that I had completely forgotten how one of the systems (the Ethics of Love, or something like that) worked, and for it I simply wrote: "Vampires? Gotta love 'em. And you never starve the ones you love."

I don't remember how well I did over all on the exam, but I did pass, and I will never forget that I got full credit for that particular answer.