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Author Topic: Single Steampunks?  (Read 353813 times)
darkshines
Rogue Ætherlord
*
Wales Wales


Miss Katonic 1898


« Reply #750 on: April 27, 2009, 07:39:49 pm »

I'm coming across as a bitch here, so I'll make my point clearer one more time, then I give up.

I have worked, and been in education, since I left home at 15. I never got support from my parents, I have had to work to pay for everything I have, my degree, my house, everything I own.

Unfortunately the last few people I have been with live at home, have had little or no work/education experience, have little ambition in life etc. I'm not like that. I have dreams and ambitions, and I am making them happen, and I want someone to share that with, or who knows what I mean. And younger people tend not to have had that experience, they are only just realising what they want to do in life.

I don't know if that makes things any clearer.

I'd like a man, not a boy, who I can settle with, and start a family and grow old together. I have done all the fun stuff, the fooling around, the giggles and gropes. I'm past it all now. I guess some of my own experiences as a teen haven't helped my cynical attitude and my need for maturity in a relationship.

If that still makes me sound like a bitch, then well, I guess I am a bitch, which is probably why I am miserably single. Because no-one would want to associate themselves with a judgemental, cold heart, narrow minded, venomous little bitch like me.
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The Abiliegh
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Wench with a Wrench

The_Abi
« Reply #751 on: April 27, 2009, 07:44:37 pm »

I'm coming across as a bitch here, so I'll make my point clearer one more time, then I give up.

I have worked, and been in education, since I left home at 15. I never got support from my parents, I have had to work to pay for everything I have, my degree, my house, everything I own.

Unfortunately the last few people I have been with live at home, have had little or no work/education experience, have little ambition in life etc. I'm not like that. I have dreams and ambitions, and I am making them happen, and I want someone to share that with, or who knows what I mean. And younger people tend not to have had that experience, they are only just realising what they want to do in life.

I don't know if that makes things any clearer.

I'd like a man, not a boy, who I can settle with, and start a family and grow old together. I have done all the fun stuff, the fooling around, the giggles and gropes. I'm past it all now. I guess some of my own experiences as a teen haven't helped my cynical attitude and my need for maturity in a relationship.

If that still makes me sound like a bitch, then well, I guess I am a bitch, which is probably why I am miserably single. Because no-one would want to associate themselves with a judgemental, cold heart, narrow minded, venomous little bitch like me.

Oh, I don't think all of this is directed at you, love.

I'm in a very similar situation. There is no crime in knowing the qualities you want in a person. I'm not attracted to people who aren't ambitious either. The only thing you and I particularly disagree on is putting a rule to it. You're saying "I don't date people younder than "X." I'm saying "I dont tend to date people younger that "X." But, if I met someone who held all the qualities that I need in a partner, but said person happens to be younger, I'm still going to give the prospect a chance."

It's a slight, but valuable difference.
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bizarre_chicken
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I like vegetarians, but I couldn't eat a whole one


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« Reply #752 on: April 27, 2009, 07:51:03 pm »

I'd like a man, not a boy, who I can settle with, and start a family and grow old together. I have done all the fun stuff, the fooling around, the giggles and gropes. I'm past it all now. I guess some of my own experiences as a teen haven't helped my cynical attitude and my need for maturity in a relationship.

You're only twenty-three. You've got a long life ahead of you and besides, one can never do all the 'fun stuff'. You can't look for someone to marry - they'll come along, sooner or later. You just have to live your life without thinking "I want to settle down and get married" because a woman who comes across like that'll put most people off. You don't come across as a bitch, more a very cynical young woman who needs some stability where her own life and past has provided none. No-one can hand that sort of thing to you - unless you've got that stability there in the first place, you're in no position to find someone to settle down with.
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bizarre_chicken
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« Reply #753 on: April 27, 2009, 08:00:02 pm »

I'm well aware that my psychoanalytical advice has all the tentative subtlety of a neutron bomb, but I think I came across without being (deliberately) hurtful.
Though I think she was hurt, a little, by all of us.
She's in a rough spot. I say we drop the whole thing, here and now.
Eloquent and apt points have been made, however this is where it ends.




So, how's that weather?
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S.Sprocket
Administrator
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Industria Proficiscor In!


« Reply #754 on: April 27, 2009, 09:29:29 pm »

Wow, I strangely feel closer to everyone in here over the last 10 pages that happened since Friday ^_^


Sorry it didn't work out for you two, you know who.

Since I found a very lovely girl who lives, sadly, two time zones away I've found girls literally coming out of the woodwork.  Some live very close.  But I don't want them.  I want Dezzy.

*sigh*

I told myself I'd never do a long distance relationship again, and here I am plotting another.  This becomes a local relationship in 8-10 months or it's off.
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Elycium
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addicted to fancy clothes

Elycium
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« Reply #755 on: April 27, 2009, 10:06:32 pm »

S.Sprocket, I know exactly what you mean about the long distance relationship thing.  A guy I really liked, and who really liked me back didn't work out because of the long distance between us.  We both had long-term commitments (my schooling and his work) that kept us from solving the issue too.  On the plus side we're still good friends, but it still saddens me that things never worked out.  And that's why I don't do long distance relationships.
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The Abiliegh
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Wench with a Wrench

The_Abi
« Reply #756 on: April 27, 2009, 10:14:42 pm »

same here. one of my favorite boyfriends and I split becasue of the distance thing. It's just too difficult. Physical contact (not neccessarily sexual) is a very important part of any relationship.

funny that he's the same one dancing around the subject of round two with me right now. I'd tell him yes in a heartbeat, if he were to move down here.

Any man who will laugh after you break his nose with your pelvis is a keeper.
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S.Sprocket
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Industria Proficiscor In!


« Reply #757 on: April 29, 2009, 06:59:31 pm »

ok two pages about music, we should get back on topic.   Speaking of,  I have my doubts about my current interest.  It's LD and as such harder than normal.  Honestly I'm getting the impression she doesn't want to make a major life move.  Also she seems to be backing down from meeting in person not due to lack of interest, just fear of the unknown I think.  Sadly I don't think I have time to spend 16 months trying to bolster courage...  I hope I'm not being unreasonable in thinking that...
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Pheobsky
Zeppelin Captain
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United Kingdom United Kingdom


« Reply #758 on: April 29, 2009, 07:26:32 pm »

mm- I'd say unless you've met her in person, I'd maybe start to move on if its not realy going anywhere- although I suppose the question is how much do you like her, if you're crazy about her then go fore it, but if its just a bit iffy, I'd say stay in contact, but move on.
Speaking of which I'm properly here again having done something similar; and to be honest I'm feeling pretty good for it plus were back to where we were before, so both good friends -I'm just hoping it doesn't fall into relationship again for at least a few months, after that we'll see how the world is sat.

Feeling fine and happy to be here with you all  Wink
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Them/they
Captain Brandsson
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"We've done the impossible, that makes us mighty."


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« Reply #759 on: April 29, 2009, 10:16:53 pm »

As someone not even remotely afflicted with this problem, I sincerely wish I could pass on some secret to getting past it.

The best I can give you... and it's not much at all...  is to find out why this "problem"* exists. 
Most people I talk to idesntify the issue as some form of fear, ususally fear of rejection.

*I use the term loosely as it's quite normal
« Last Edit: April 29, 2009, 10:20:35 pm by Captain Brandsson » Logged

- Maximilian
Captain Brandsson
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« Reply #760 on: April 29, 2009, 10:26:30 pm »

I found practice works. Be brave.

Bravery isn't being without fear, it's going in despite it (the other would be stupidity)
Yes.

Practice, practice, practice.  Even if you don't intend for it to go anywhere, sometimes just sharpening the "chatting up skills" simply for the sake of sharpening them is a good idea*.

I have been the recepient of some SPECTACULAR rejections in my day. 
Yes, they sting, but you eventually realize how harmless they are and you develop a thick skin to it.

*I still do thins and I have been happily married for 9 years.  It's just a good skill.
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eggberta echegaray
Officer
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Canada Canada


Eggberta
« Reply #761 on: April 30, 2009, 12:26:55 am »

I'm imagining to two victims volunteers will chat back and forth on a thread and others will comment on their style? possibly with a scenario put in place first 'prof plum in the dining room with ms Scarlett' and all that?

Now that would get interesting...nothing like flirting with death.  Tongue "Why Professor Plum...for you to take the time to bludgeon me to death with a candle stick...how romantic!" *swoons* Tongue "Here...feel death's grip as I plunge this knife into your back"

I can see the screenplay now, it would be reminiscent of Princess Bride chatter Tongue
« Last Edit: April 30, 2009, 12:29:13 am by eggberta echegaray » Logged

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Captain Spooner
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Just your average tinkering steamy ninja.


« Reply #762 on: April 30, 2009, 05:35:50 am »

I figured out how to get over my shyness about approaching women due to two simple things.  At first, I just started taking to women in social situations without hoping for or trying for anything more than a pleasant conversation.  I was quite surprised that more often than not I ended up with contact information at the end of the night.  Secondly, I made myself realize that the worse thing a lady was ever going to be able to do to me in that situation was turn me down, which leaves me in the exact position I was before so its a no lose situation.  Easier said than done I realize, but thats the way I did it.

As an aside I just might be on my way to being an unwelcome non-single lurker after this weekend provided things go well. Wish me luck.

Regards
Spooner

Just from the past couple pages I've seriously considered leasing out my services internationally as a wingman. Helping people to learn how to chat up people that catch their fancy.
Funny enough I have been paid to be a wingman before. Mixed results for the dude, he ended up marrying then divorcing one of the girls I helped him meet that night.

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« Reply #763 on: May 04, 2009, 03:44:04 pm »

the other night i got to hang out with a bunch of old friends that i dont see that often which was mostly a good time. my friend tiff (who i have had feelings for for a long time) was fighting with her boyfriend. he was being a real jerk to her, and it really hurt me to see her treated that way. unfortunately, i didnt get a chance to really say anything to her but we were very close, which was nice. hopefully well chill again soon and ill say something then.
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Skinner
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Captain Charlotte J. Skinner, Airship Scalleywag


« Reply #764 on: May 08, 2009, 04:22:19 pm »

-Give Abiliegh a little pat on the shoulder-
Don't thou worry lass, I'm sure that however yeh speak it's smooth, silky and- I'll stop there... -twiddles her thumbs anxiously-

Update on my singledom:

I have an interest, but nothing confirmed from the other side, and no way to meet in person yet. That and the first time we spoke was while she was watching someone's computer screen as I was being pranked into chatting up a person who I thought was another single sappist, turned out to have a boyfriend, and indeed, was a MAN.

-croons over the loss of her dignity-

And, in a strange twist of fate, I had to turn down some dole-leeching alcoholic girl from round the corner who wanted to start something right there and then with me on her doorstep in front of her (presumably) aunt and uncle, whom I sell Avon to.

I feel flattered that she's interested in me, in a way. But it's also very depressing. Why can't the NICE girls want me?

Still. At least I'm going to a Steamy meet tomorrow in Painshill. Not that that would advance my love life but, hey, it'll be grand to practice my brand of chivalry on high born ladies.
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JingleJoe
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United Kingdom United Kingdom


The Green Dungeon Alchemist


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« Reply #765 on: May 10, 2009, 12:14:12 am »

It seems that most people can't place my accent- I've been told I sound american, canadian, german and irish. However I have lived in England all my life Huh
I think I can safely assume that the folks on BG, having a few more brain cells rattling around up there than most Wink could tell you I am just an eccentic Englishman Smiley
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Capt. BV3
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« Reply #766 on: May 10, 2009, 10:23:55 pm »

Why is so hard to find someone that gets me? Went out last night with some friends and a crappy 'wingman' of a married best mate, met a few girls, but when it comes down to it they all end up either ditzy, or unimaginative when it comes to people who don't quite meet their cookie cutter 'Norm' template. I mean I'm not that wierd. I'm ex military, used to play rugby, semi-professional paintballer, part time goth, full time steampunk (on the inside). I make my own props, and wear brass & leather or white plastic (its a star wars thing) on the weekends, and sit in the office staring out the window during the week.

Too bad there aren't dating sites for geeks like me :-(

Well, that's my end of weekend rant out of the way, thanks for tuning in. Sorry you all had to bear the brunt of it ;-)
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Captain Bartholemew "Django" Vanderphett III
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Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth
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« Reply #767 on: May 10, 2009, 10:32:51 pm »

I'd say lisp rather than accent - an accent would be rather like an uncontrollable twitch or a characteristic movement in your hands that was slightly different from standard.

I have no idea.

Back to topic- Another Weekend, still single.

An accent WOULD be an uncontrollable twitch or movement, but it'd be common to people from the same area, no?

Also.

Still single.
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Skinner
Snr. Officer
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Captain Charlotte J. Skinner, Airship Scalleywag


« Reply #768 on: May 10, 2009, 10:37:42 pm »

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Sapphists are few and far between, it seems, so I know how you feel. Something to do with a lack of suitable diversity in the gene pool that would suit me.

Mind you I'm starting to get used to it again. I'm so tired and busy lately, that, while it would be nice to have someone to hold at night and all that fuzzy gooeyness, I just had the most fun this weekend with a trio of new friends that I don't think I would have had quite the same way if I was involved with one of them.

I seriously believe that my luck will improve once I start driving, if only that more of the world will become accessible to me.
And I can go cruising for chicks.
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Honeythorn
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United Kingdom United Kingdom


How unfortunate...


« Reply #769 on: May 10, 2009, 10:44:27 pm »

I mean I'm not that wierd. I'm ex military, used to play rugby, semi-professional paintballer, part time goth, full time steampunk (on the inside). I make my own props, and wear brass & leather or white plastic (its a star wars thing) on the weekends, and sit in the office staring out the window during the week.

Too bad there aren't dating sites for geeks like me :-(



Hm. You seem pretty normal to me.

I think the chances of me ever dating/ending up with a steampunk are insanely, spectacularly minute. The one thing I have noticed in this thread is the repeated request for intelligence or geekiness. I am neither. I'm (relatively )badly educated due to my own ineptitude ( not lack of trying ) and have difficulty with many academic subjects. My mind simply does not work that way. Like many on here, I like science for example, but I simply find it immensely difficult to understand 80% of it. I do not know how to mesh gears so that they work. I do not know what a thermionic valve is or does. I couldn't tell you how a clock works to save my life. But they interest me if nothing else.

Topped off with rather severe shyness, a complete lack of conversational material and my ongoing battle with obesity. I ain't much of a catch. This isn't merely a lack of self confidence because I feel down. I don't , it is a statement of fact. I am a lonely woman,  I don't want to be, but I am and I shall more than likely remain so for quite a few years more ,until at least some of the above problems can be rectified.

*shrug* A lifetime of such lonliness has been useful in a way. I am not so easily bothered by being alone as a more socially active/popular person might be. I think some of my more gregarious associates would quite possibly go completely batshit insane if they lived as I do. I'm used to it.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2009, 10:47:31 pm by Honeythorn » Logged

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Amelia von Poopenmeiher
Gunner
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United States United States

Inama nushif.


« Reply #770 on: May 10, 2009, 11:45:39 pm »

...I imagine gender plays a part there.

You know, while thinking about it, I don't think there is any definable, conclusive reason one way or the other. People are too complex and three-dimensional to really narrow the concept of courtship down to a methodology, or catagory.

I've known girls who are extremely attractive and for the most part, are single and lonely, simply for the fact that their physical attributes can be enough to intimidate men into not going after them, which only adds to the girls' in questions own insecurity, and grows more of their shy introvertedness, which is entirely a detrimental cycle.
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Pheobsky
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« Reply #771 on: May 11, 2009, 06:57:53 pm »

People on this board talk proudly about how eccentric they are, and don´t care to fit in with the mainstream. I think this thread shows the result of that.

-I'd point to some of the earlier posts in response to that; it seems to give people good results, the problem generaly seems to be more to do with either not finding other people romantically interesting or being shy- there are plenty of people who could be considered mainstream who have those troubles too! Cheer up there Wink
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bizarre_chicken
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I like vegetarians, but I couldn't eat a whole one


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« Reply #772 on: May 11, 2009, 07:00:13 pm »

I don't go for mainstream women because they're so insufferably boring.
Where's the fun unless they're at least slightly out of their minds?
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Skinner
Snr. Officer
****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Captain Charlotte J. Skinner, Airship Scalleywag


« Reply #773 on: May 11, 2009, 10:02:56 pm »

I am definately not limiting myself to steampunks; this is not the only singles thread in existance =P

I have my tendrils of influence elsewhere on the aethernet, as well as via friends.

What I really want to do is go to a gorram gay bar, but I'll probably run into thirty year old bikers or grannies, knowing my luck...

Still, I have more important things to do than chase women (I never ever ever thought I'd say that in my life)
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Pheobsky
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


« Reply #774 on: May 11, 2009, 11:03:37 pm »

What I really want to do is go to a gorram gay bar,

Then why don't you go to a gorram gay bar?
Curiously enough I went to a "gorram gay bar" or at least was dragged long to a sapphist's establishment last thursday, and was allowed in despite being a chap! (I was the only chap in the group though, and later the only chap in the bar), still it was a pleasant if mellow night out.
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