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Author Topic: Single Steampunks?  (Read 333838 times)
SteamBlast Mary
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A spanner in the works


« Reply #275 on: December 10, 2008, 09:26:50 pm »

Er, "Hello, have you worked here long?" leading up to "The hours must be a drag, would you like the chance to let your hair down, I've got tickets to the Christmas Ball". Or comment on the dull uniform (try and get a compliment in there somewhere) and ask her if she's got a nice dress, 'cos you've got tickets to the ball, etc.

Being a gentleman in an uncivilised world is the best way to make an impression on her. Next time some bloke pushes in front of her in a queue/makes a rude comment etc she'll think back to the polite young man who paid her a compliment at work and ask herself "why can't they all be like that?"


I am in something of a predicament, you see I have 2 tickets to the years end ball, and noone to take. That is not my problem however, the young lass I intend to ask to go with me works at the supermarket that I shall be patronising tomorrow, and I am quite sure she will agree. The problem I have is how do I START the conversation with her, being a very efficiency minded person (and also being male comes into it I guess) I do not ask about products unless I either intend to buy them then and there, or am interested in a particular product's workings. This leaves me at an impass, as I am sure asking about something's workings would not get me far, and I have no intention of buying anything other than the standard fare that can be found on the shelves. Another thing to note is this is not a store clerk, but is actually a restocker, making idle chit chat at the register impossible. I guess rather than answers I'm after inspiration, I could make something up but that would be so boring! I prefer to leave such an impression that I am sure that I will be on her mind for days if not weeks.
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« Reply #276 on: December 11, 2008, 02:10:28 am »

Tassie: an incredibly beautiful little patch of land. Wonderful place to visit and take in some beautiful scenery and forests, but I've always suspected that moving there would drive me mad.
Quite possibly. I lived there until I was 10, and visited often thereafter. I have the urge to go there, because they used to sell cottages and land from closed-down mining villages for $4000. alas, no more. But I'm a potter by trade, and I have an idea that I'd be able to make myself at home there again, somewhere where there are still trees   Undecided

somewhat less appropriate for my current partner, he being a roaming musician/anarchist. ah well.
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #277 on: December 12, 2008, 04:15:18 am »

I think we've rather de-railed this topic!  Wink

In terms of being single (which I am), I wonder how many others are also unattached as a personal preference? 

Speaking for myself, I've had enough experience with love and lust that I know what I want in a partner (and more importantly, what I do not want and will not put up with) and am most of the time quite satisfied being solitary instead of settling for something less-than.  I prefer to live alone and almost never feel the desire to commit to anyone (I don't take commitment lightly... I can't understand "serial monogamists" who seem to attach themselves and "commit" to person, after person, after person, as if they can't bear to be in a room alone or something).  I've never felt like half of a person seeking another half to be complete, so I'm afraid I don't understand that concept.  It would be nice, however, to meet someone (gender is unimportant to me) who is also complete in-and-of themselves, so that being together is more multiplication instead of addition.  (If that makes sense..)  Enriching each others lives.   Smiley

Anyone else in my camp?

(I'll refrain from posting my list of pros and cons (it's rather long-ish), but if there is interest or curiosity, I will happily oblige.  Wink )
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #278 on: December 12, 2008, 04:33:04 am »

I think we've rather de-railed this topic!  Wink

You rang?
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Sk1n
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« Reply #279 on: December 12, 2008, 08:47:21 pm »

I think we've rather de-railed this topic!  Wink

In terms of being single (which I am), I wonder how many others are also unattached as a personal preference? 

Speaking for myself, I've had enough experience with love and lust that I know what I want in a partner (and more importantly, what I do not want and will not put up with) and am most of the time quite satisfied being solitary instead of settling for something less-than.  I prefer to live alone and almost never feel the desire to commit to anyone (I don't take commitment lightly... I can't understand "serial monogamists" who seem to attach themselves and "commit" to person, after person, after person, as if they can't bear to be in a room alone or something).  I've never felt like half of a person seeking another half to be complete, so I'm afraid I don't understand that concept.  It would be nice, however, to meet someone (gender is unimportant to me) who is also complete in-and-of themselves, so that being together is more multiplication instead of addition.  (If that makes sense..)  Enriching each others lives.   Smiley

Anyone else in my camp?

(I'll refrain from posting my list of pros and cons (it's rather long-ish), but if there is interest or curiosity, I will happily oblige.  Wink )



I would have to say I am in a somewhat similar boat as you. I am single, live alone and I couldn't be happier. I think the main difference is though I was married once before a couple years back and it didn't turn out well, so I'm in no rush to do it again.

I have been known to casually date, but I always lay all my cards on the table so that there is no false pretenses or expectations and less of a chance of someone getting hurt. I guess I am just in no rush to fall hopelessly in love all over again. Maybe someday I will run into someone who knocks me off my feet and I'll take that walk down the aisle again, but for now I'm content where I am and don't feel the need to settle or commit just for the sake of having someone there.


I am curious about your pros and cons though just since you mentioned it.
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Prof. Albrecht Von Taggërt
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« Reply #280 on: December 12, 2008, 09:14:43 pm »

I think we've rather de-railed this topic!  Wink

In terms of being single (which I am), I wonder how many others are also unattached as a personal preference? 

Speaking for myself, I've had enough experience with love and lust that I know what I want in a partner (and more importantly, what I do not want and will not put up with) and am most of the time quite satisfied being solitary instead of settling for something less-than.  I prefer to live alone and almost never feel the desire to commit to anyone (I don't take commitment lightly... I can't understand "serial monogamists" who seem to attach themselves and "commit" to person, after person, after person, as if they can't bear to be in a room alone or something).  I've never felt like half of a person seeking another half to be complete, so I'm afraid I don't understand that concept.  It would be nice, however, to meet someone (gender is unimportant to me) who is also complete in-and-of themselves, so that being together is more multiplication instead of addition.  (If that makes sense..)  Enriching each others lives.   Smiley

Anyone else in my camp?

(I'll refrain from posting my list of pros and cons (it's rather long-ish), but if there is interest or curiosity, I will happily oblige.  Wink )


I have to say that i too am in this boat, it's more of a women who understand me become my friends which is fantastic. My sister once said, while we were out for Sushi, that i have this large wall that goes up when I am in public, not giving anyone a chance to be "let in" as it were. As i stated earlier my last serious relationship was 4+ years ago and that one took it's toll on me (was a good relationship that i messed up) I guess I have never forgiven myself for this mistake, which in turn makes me unapproachable.I am really a nice guy tho. Apprently this wall happens subconciuosly -=(

She worries for me as do all my female friends, and my aunt...lol. Someday perhaps the one will appear, but tbh if she doesn't I have already accepted that i am to be one of the few that are destined to be alone, so I won't be dissapointed.

Wow sorry went into a depressing tyrade there =/ Carry on!!

Ash
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #281 on: December 12, 2008, 10:18:14 pm »

I would have to say I am in a somewhat similar boat as you. I am single, live alone and I couldn't be happier. I think the main difference is though I was married once before a couple years back and it didn't turn out well, so I'm in no rush to do it again.

I have been known to casually date, but I always lay all my cards on the table so that there is no false pretenses or expectations and less of a chance of someone getting hurt. I guess I am just in no rush to fall hopelessly in love all over again. Maybe someday I will run into someone who knocks me off my feet and I'll take that walk down the aisle again, but for now I'm content where I am and don't feel the need to settle or commit just for the sake of having someone there.


I am curious about your pros and cons though just since you mentioned it.

I was never married but was in a long-term, co-habitation sort of relationship, which is rather similar.  I do wonder if that's soured me a bit in terms of relationships, although it was several years ago.  I learned a lot from the experience and would certainly not be willing to "lose myself" in a situation like that again.

I sometimes wonder if the older and wiser we get (dare I say, the more jaded, perhaps?), the more difficult it gets to achieve that "hopelessly falling in love" sensation.  I know that I tend to view potential relationships from a mind + heart point of view and never just jump into things.  With age, comes caution or at least more awareness.

As for my list:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm sure I've forgotten things and bear in mind they're not in any real order.  Wink
« Last Edit: December 12, 2008, 10:29:47 pm by Mercurielle » Logged
Sk1n
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« Reply #282 on: December 12, 2008, 11:16:16 pm »

I would have to say I am in a somewhat similar boat as you. I am single, live alone and I couldn't be happier. I think the main difference is though I was married once before a couple years back and it didn't turn out well, so I'm in no rush to do it again.

I have been known to casually date, but I always lay all my cards on the table so that there is no false pretenses or expectations and less of a chance of someone getting hurt. I guess I am just in no rush to fall hopelessly in love all over again. Maybe someday I will run into someone who knocks me off my feet and I'll take that walk down the aisle again, but for now I'm content where I am and don't feel the need to settle or commit just for the sake of having someone there.


I am curious about your pros and cons though just since you mentioned it.

I was never married but was in a long-term, co-habitation sort of relationship, which is rather similar.  I do wonder if that's soured me a bit in terms of relationships, although it was several years ago.  I learned a lot from the experience and would certainly not be willing to "lose myself" in a situation like that again.

I sometimes wonder if the older and wiser we get (dare I say, the more jaded, perhaps?), the more difficult it gets to achieve that "hopelessly falling in love" sensation.  I know that I tend to view potential relationships from a mind + heart point of view and never just jump into things.  With age, comes caution or at least more awareness.

As for my list:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm sure I've forgotten things and bear in mind they're not in any real order.  Wink


I definitely can relate as far as the being cautious. In a sense I think being married and subsequently divorced ruined me. Not saying I'm damaged goods or broken beyond repair, just that it changed my whole perspective. I'm less likely to compromise things on my list of pros and cons, although exceptions have been made.

I have to agree with the difficulty of falling hopelessly in love anymore, but I think its based on personal rather than a general blanket statement for everyone. I would like to believe its possible and I am sure there are people that fall hopelessly in love later in life. As to the possibility of it for me personally I think the idealist in me would like to believe it, but the realist in me knows that due to my experiences, I am past the head over heels stages in my life. Jeez it sounds so jaded when I re-read it.


As for your list I have to agree wholeheartedly on the majority of your points. I was dating a girl who wasn't much of a drinker and couldn't stand smoking. I am a smoker when I drink and when we would go out and I would have some, it just feels natural having a cigarette in one hand and a vodka tonic in the other, and having to hold back, or even deal with disapproving comments when I would show that I thought about the idea, was frustrating. And though it isn't a normal occasion, I like to get a bit buzzed now and then, and when you're dating someone who doesn't really drink, it makes it harder to enjoy the feeling.

The hello kitty con made me actually laugh out loud too. I've never actually put a list on paper. Maybe I should sometime instead of trying to remember as I go.
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #283 on: December 12, 2008, 11:42:24 pm »

I definitely can relate as far as the being cautious. In a sense I think being married and subsequently divorced ruined me. Not saying I'm damaged goods or broken beyond repair, just that it changed my whole perspective. I'm less likely to compromise things on my list of pros and cons, although exceptions have been made.

I have to agree with the difficulty of falling hopelessly in love anymore, but I think its based on personal rather than a general blanket statement for everyone. I would like to believe its possible and I am sure there are people that fall hopelessly in love later in life. As to the possibility of it for me personally I think the idealist in me would like to believe it, but the realist in me knows that due to my experiences, I am past the head over heels stages in my life. Jeez it sounds so jaded when I re-read it.


As for your list I have to agree wholeheartedly on the majority of your points. I was dating a girl who wasn't much of a drinker and couldn't stand smoking. I am a smoker when I drink and when we would go out and I would have some, it just feels natural having a cigarette in one hand and a vodka tonic in the other, and having to hold back, or even deal with disapproving comments when I would show that I thought about the idea, was frustrating. And though it isn't a normal occasion, I like to get a bit buzzed now and then, and when you're dating someone who doesn't really drink, it makes it harder to enjoy the feeling.

The hello kitty con made me actually laugh out loud too. I've never actually put a list on paper. Maybe I should sometime instead of trying to remember as I go.

I don't consider myself "damaged goods" or any such thing either.  I'm quite open to the possibility of falling in love, but I think as we mature it doesn't happen in the same manner as when we were younger, less experienced, and more naive.  We tend to think before we leap and make more informed decisions.  I don't think that qualifies as being jaded, it's an evolution of perspective.

As for the smoking and drinking thing, I can relate.  I was seeing a chef last summer, who was a self described "open minded, but straight-edge" sort of fellow.  We obviously got along in regards to our shared passion for food, but the "you smell like whiskey" when I'd had only a glass or two after dinner got to be really aggravating.  He would even bring partial bottles of VERY pricey sake back from work for me, but then later complain that he hated it when I smelled like booze.  I think that we would have both better of with people whose lifestyles and habits are more compatible with out own.  I drink in a regular, day to day sort of manner and only smoke about one pack of cigarettes per week, so it's not an excessive or overbearing habit, but I do enjoy both.  Smiley

As for the list-making, I compiled this from three different but similar lists that I found while cleaning out my desk drawers! hahaha!  Wink
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JingleJoe
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« Reply #284 on: December 12, 2008, 11:51:54 pm »

While we're on the topic of what kind of person we'd like to be with, I was thinking earlier today;
I wouldn't mind if they weren't perfect, if they weren't my ideal person, I just want them to love me and give me lots of hugs and be interested in some of the things I am and not annoy the hell out of me Roll Eyes Someone like that would make me very happy Smiley
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Sk1n
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« Reply #285 on: December 13, 2008, 12:07:13 am »

I don't consider myself "damaged goods" or any such thing either.  I'm quite open to the possibility of falling in love, but I think as we mature it doesn't happen in the same manner as when we were younger, less experienced, and more naive.  We tend to think before we leap and make more informed decisions.  I don't think that qualifies as being jaded, it's an evolution of perspective.

As for the smoking and drinking thing, I can relate.  I was seeing a chef last summer, who was a self described "open minded, but straight-edge" sort of fellow.  We obviously got along in regards to our shared passion for food, but the "you smell like whiskey" when I'd had only a glass or two after dinner got to be really aggravating.  He would even bring partial bottles of VERY pricey sake back from work for me, but then later complain that he hated it when I smelled like booze.  I think that we would have both better of with people whose lifestyles and habits are more compatible with out own.  I drink in a regular, day to day sort of manner and only smoke about one pack of cigarettes per week, so it's not an excessive or overbearing habit, but I do enjoy both.  Smiley

As for the list-making, I compiled this from three different but similar lists that I found while cleaning out my desk drawers! hahaha!  Wink



In some cases I kind of miss that young puppy love feeling. Not that its better or worse, just different. Maybe just because its a reminder of a different time.


Oh that had to be frustrating! I've dealt with similar situations. The one that didn't like smoking refused to kiss me if I had been. So basically turning it around on me by saying, "If you want to smoke thats fine. You're an adult. But I won't kiss you the rest the night." I'm only a pack a week smoker myself. Usually one a day on the drive home from work, and the bulk on the weekends when I'm out drinking.
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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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« Reply #286 on: December 13, 2008, 12:20:55 am »

I'd add that I'm of a sort of... half-voluntary single state. There are a few reasons for this, I suppose. One is my town, Banff. It's a tourist place, but on top of that, everyone my age is usually part of our 'floating' workforce. Here for a season, gone the next. Even if they're not, that fact often wears on them, as they have to watch their friends leave twice a year and eventually they take off as well. I'm fine with it, I grew up here. However, it does make it difficult to get overly attached to someone, anyone.

On top of that, or perhaps somewhat because of that, I have... well, I'll say 'trust issues' which makes it sound more serious then it is. I don't emotionally commit myself easily. If I meet someone, by the time I've finished my rum and coke, I'll be one of your best friends in town, but it won't run deep, usually. I'll send you off big when its time for you to leave, but I'll not likely get too hung up about it.

Unfortunately, or fortunately this flows into more intimate relationships. It's unavoidable, really. I'm a Sagittarius to boot - I thrive on change. So, since I'm not overly hung up on folks coming and going, I'm happy enough to wait until someone really meshes properly. I've got my few close friends, and I do all right otherwise.

''Life is a series of meetings and partings, with all your memories inbetween.''

As for falling head over heals in love with someone? Hm.

"Do you know what it's like to care too much
'Bout someone that you're never gonna get to touch.
Hey man, now you're really living."

Its contradictory to everything else I just said... but I've come to terms with it. It bothers me less and less as the days roll on.
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #287 on: December 13, 2008, 12:43:09 am »

haha, I'm a Capricorn with Sagittarius rising (and three planets in Sagittarius, as well).  I definitely have a lot of Capricorn traits, but very Sagittarian quirks.  I tend to be the one floating in and out of people's lives and although I have a handful of very close friendships, they're the flexible sort that I take with me wherever I go or whatever I happen to be doing with my life.  In the 9, almost 10, years that I've lived on my own, I've lived in 4 states and moved well over a dozen times.  The longest I've lived any one place was about two years.  I get less restless, the older I get, but I've generally been pretty happy to form quick, intense connections with people and just as easily walk away.  Although for better or worse, I'm in Chicago for the next three years or so while I obtain my BFA.  (This is the third time I've lived here, haha.) 

That being said, I can be quite traditional and old fashioned in terms of relationships (in theory more than in practice, as I rarely actually make a commitment).  I'm pretty happy to go about my life much as I have until something worth my attention and adoration presents itself.  Wink
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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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« Reply #288 on: December 13, 2008, 01:01:19 am »

That being said, I can be quite traditional and old fashioned in terms of relationships (in theory more than in practice, as I rarely actually make a commitment).  I'm pretty happy to go about my life much as I have until something worth my attention and adoration presents itself.  Wink
Yis.  Cool
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SteamChild
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« Reply #289 on: December 13, 2008, 01:14:58 am »

well!!!
« Last Edit: December 13, 2008, 02:08:13 am by SteamChild » Logged
Gazongola
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« Reply #290 on: December 13, 2008, 01:27:52 am »



Can't say I share your views. At all.
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #291 on: December 13, 2008, 01:51:17 am »



I completely disagree with the views expressed in this video.  Dating, even as teenagers, while certainly seldom leading into life-long partnerships or marriage, do play an important role in social development and the ability to form relationships with other people in both sexual and platonic manners.

I could easily go very Off Topic with my personal opinions on abstinence and sex education (not just among teenagers, but adults as well), but will keep it short.  If someone wishes to choose that route, that's quite alright by me... it's a personal decision that we are all allowed to make for ourselves.  However, to be able to make a mature and responsible decision one way or the other, it is advisable to be educated and informed.  Partial or misleading information causes more problems than it seeks to prevent.
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KatarinaNavane
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« Reply #292 on: December 13, 2008, 01:59:36 am »



You're new here so you don't know this, but any and all discussion of religion is banned here.   I think this qualifies.  I don't want this thread locked, so lets Not all comment on this, ok? 

though i've gotta say
"what you need is jesus in that hole"    ...  *snort* Gahahahahaha!
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Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth
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« Reply #293 on: December 13, 2008, 02:10:36 am »



You're new here so you don't know this, but any and all discussion of religion is banned here.   I think this qualifies.  I don't want this thread locked, so lets Not all comment on this, ok? 

though i've gotta say
"what you need is jesus in that hole"    ...  *snort* Gahahahahaha!


This post here ^ gave me cause to view the video. And I've got to agree - discussion of religion is prohibited, and for good reason.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2008, 02:20:02 am by Sir Nikolas Vendigroth » Logged
Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #294 on: December 13, 2008, 02:12:36 am »



though i've gotta say
"what you need is jesus in that hole"    ...  *snort* Gahahahahaha!
Dirty  Roll Eyes
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Prof. Albrecht Von Taggërt
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« Reply #295 on: December 13, 2008, 03:10:42 am »

Mercurielle,

I had a feeling you were of the Sag persuasion as I am a Sagittarius (Nov 25th) and we share almost all the same likes (I for one smoke and enjoy a good whisky /sake now and then etc etc) It's funny that once again you would fall into more a friend catagory as I believe we would be TOO compatible (or I am just being a twit...lol)

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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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« Reply #296 on: December 13, 2008, 03:35:35 am »

Well the interesting thing about that is she said Capricorn with Sagittarius tendencies. Those are complete opposites, normally.

An odd duality. Especially since Sagittarius, like you and I, are creatures of duality to begin with.

I'm confused  Shocked
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Prof. Albrecht Von Taggërt
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« Reply #297 on: December 13, 2008, 03:49:34 am »

Were also half men half horse  Roll Eyes


LOl ok sorry had to say it.

We are tho as you said creatures of duality. Damn i think i just broke my brain also =/
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #298 on: December 13, 2008, 03:52:38 am »

Mercurielle,

I had a feeling you were of the Sag persuasion as I am a Sagittarius (Nov 25th) and we share almost all the same likes (I for one smoke and enjoy a good whisky /sake now and then etc etc) It's funny that once again you would fall into more a friend catagory as I believe we would be TOO compatible (or I am just being a twit...lol)

My best friend has the same birthday as you!  How peculiar.  I do agree that if we met, we'd probably fall into the friend catagory as well, but there isn't a thing wrong with that!  Friendships tend to endure longer than relationships anyway.  Smiley
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Mercurielle
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« Reply #299 on: December 13, 2008, 04:12:00 am »

Well the interesting thing about that is she said Capricorn with Sagittarius tendencies. Those are complete opposites, normally.

An odd duality. Especially since Sagittarius, like you and I, are creatures of duality to begin with.

I'm confused  Shocked

Perhaps that is why I have such trouble dating!  Wink  (Most of the Capricorns I know would be willing to gather & vote me out of that club, but all my Sagittarius friends think I'm quite fun if a bit persnickety and uppity at times. ha.)
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