Single Steampunks?

[malcontentcontent]

All I have to say now about dating is this:  Why did I attempt it again?  Every time I start going on dates again, I inevitably forget why I stopped in the first place.  It sucks.

Guy number one is nice; he's a librarian, he's funny, he's sweet, he's completely clingy and moving way too fast!  We've been on two dates and he calls me everyday, wants to talk for hours when he does, texts me continuously throughout the day, and asks everyday when he can next see me or if I can manage to squeeze him in or drop by to visit him at work. It's flattering because I know he likes me, but whoa. He also likes to call just to tell me what his pets are doing.  I've flat out told him that I can't talk on the phone all the time, that I'm very busy, and that although I think he's nice, I'm just not ready to commit to a relationship just yet.  He says he understands and then it continues!

Guy number two is very nice to me, but he's a pretentious d-bag to everyone else (and not in a funny way, he's serious) and it annoys me to no end.

Guy number three... I went to school with him and I used to work with his mother.  It's going to sound bad, but he's put on at least 150 pounds since I last saw him and he's been through a divorce apparently, too.  Still stuck on her.  No thanks.

Guy number four.  Oh gods.  He's my favorite: extremely entertaining, smart, and 100% certifiable.  He's an ex-marine and currently a MMA fighter.  He seemed sane enough at first. Then, we ran into some of his "friends." They all seemed to be horrified of him.  I was never afraid, but I started to worry when I thought about what would happen if I ever angered him. He was extremely possessive and over-protective of me, and every time the server came by, he pulled money out of his wallet and shoved it at the guy saying "Whatever she wants."  As we were leaving, he got into a fight with some guy who bumped into me (the guy was being rude, but still!).

What a week. 

oh? you make steampunk clothing? o.o i would like to buy one
[for the anime expo 2010 XD]

My sister will probably organize a meet again this year.  We might see you there!

[Miss Groves]

woah totally mental malcontentcontent.
That sounds REALLY unlucky.
I'm sad for you after such a promising start.

[malcontentcontent]

Aw, don't feel sad!  I feel lucky, as if I dodged a bullet... four bullets.  It's really funny, too, if you think about it.  I thought things were only this bad in the movies!

[Utini420]

And with a bit of luck, they shall!   

No, love, I don't try and make too big a deal of it, but since you ask, I'm married.  We're also polyamorous, so please don't think for a second that I'd cheat on my beloved wife.   We just like to play well with others and have developed the communication skills to allow us to do so without hurt feelings for anyone involved.

I'd stayed out of this thread for a while, but my girlfriend and mistress left after a year or so for a more "normal" relationship.  That was a few months back.  I was a bit bummed out by that for a while, and started casting in over here.  I know that's not really the conventional set-up for single status, but it makes sense in context, at least to me.


BTW, you don't like to hit people, do you?   

[Silent Theatre]

Dont ever think youve messed up because you dont immediately jump into bed with a guy!!!

If he genuinely likes you he will continue to like you and will wait.

Guys usually mention their ex's to make he current woman they like a bit jealous to get things moving.

He probably isnt verbally saying he likes you to avoid the 'I really like you' conversation, we all know most guys are all action and no talk.Either that or he is waiting for you to make the move so when things go wrong he can say 'well, you wanted it'.That last comment may be down to my bad experiences but worth keeping in mind just in case.

[GideonFaile]

I spoke to my Centre of Affection (without the "assistance" of any liquid courage, thank you very much) and was answered with a resounding, apologetic "No".

I would be lying, if I were to say that I am not disappointed or unhappy with this.
On the other side, she and I have agreed that there's absolutely no reason this should make things awkward in our friendship. She is simply not interested in dating, at all. She noted that I have surrounded myself with "totally sterile women".
I love her; she is my absolute best friend, and so it shall remain until Fate determines that we should part.

As an aside, I would like to state that Fate will have to leave me dead in a parking lot for that to come to pass.

------------------------------

On the bright side: I'll be completely, even on an emotional level, available in what I expect to be a relatively short amount of time (short because this was not a very crushing defeat, nor a defeat at all.).

Young Man, of a mere 18 years, dressed in fine vest (even if he does, perhaps, fill it over a bit. A tad plump, you might say.)
Largely poetical by nature, raised a gentleman by a Man Among Boys (my father is my hero, as sappy as that sounds), and a vaguely passable writer.
Currently working a very crushing job, though one that pays enough for a meagre living.
Hopefully attending University to become an elementary school teacher.
A man who believes that each time someone creates a story in their mind, a new star blinks into existence.

Commence vegetable throwing.

[elShoggotho]

I say that this thread should die. It should have been locked 500 pages ago, when it had run its course. By now, it's "Ignore me!", version 2.

[Lady Corsair]

Just over a week to go til I possibly see the guy I like.Plans, what to wear,attitude to portray,aloofness, sweetness, lots of make up, minimal make up??

What do you usually wear?  You could go up a little on make-up (just to show you're making an effort), but I wouldn't go totally outside the norm.  And, you know...be yourself.

I say that this thread should die. It should have been locked 500 pages ago, when it had run its course. By now, it's "Ignore me!", version 2.

Feel free to not post here, then. 

[Utini420]

I love it when folks think a thread is useless to them, and state that it should be killed off.  What "course" was it ever running?  In what possible way does its continuation affect you, or anyone else for that matter?

[Seaton Begg]

667 pages and i'm still single.

Epic Fail

[James Harrison]

 

We need a sweepstakes for the last person on this thread currently posting to find someone 

[Minjoltr]

Just over a week to go til I possibly see the guy I like.Plans, what to wear,attitude to portray,aloofness, sweetness, lots of make up, minimal make up??

Plan a few things and then go with whatever you feel like when the time comes so if you pick something simple but then feel like dressing up or if you planned something fancy but decide you want to go for something comfier, you've got something else you can wear and don't run around searching for an alternative or end up going wearing something you don't really want to wear.  

The spam MSN sends me tells me that gentlemen prefer less makeup although it also says that tomatoes are poisonous so I'm not sure how far I should trust it.  I'd imagine that less makeup means more freedom to do things without worrying about it spoiling or having to re-apply the stuff.

I'd go with wearing clothes.  The internet tells me that cleavage is good.  

Be who you are, don't try to mislead the chap and convince him you're someone you aren't by picking an attitude.

[Seaton Begg]

The spam MSN sends me tells me that gentlemen prefer less makeup although it also says that tomatoes are poisonous so I'm not sure how far I should trust it. 

Why is it that all the spam I get tells me I need a bigger penis, viagra and a russian watch? 

Oh, tomatoes were poisonous btw

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

North Americans believed tomatoes were poisonous until 1820, when Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson disproved that myth during a public demonstration on the courthouse steps in Salem, NJ. In France, after the poison myth was dispelled, the people came to believe the tomato was an aphrodisiac and called it "pomme d'amour," or "love apple." Today, the typical American consumes about 80 pounds of tomatoes per year, and it is one of the most common plants grown in home gardens.

[Minjoltr]

It's that MSN Today thing which comes up whenever Messenger opens.  It has a load of articles from Match.com about how to impress men, what men do and do not like, why he didn't call, etc etc.  It's about 90% common sense and 10% WTF.  It also had '10 poisonous foods we love to eat, OMFG' and it was full of things like mushrooms (but only the dangerous ones), cherries (but only the stones), tomatoes (but only the stalks and leaves), potatoes (but only the leaves).  So, essentially, the bits we do not, in fact, love to eat because they're not foods and we aren't dingbats.

Perhaps I ought to stop reading these things . . .

[Silent Theatre]

Thanks for your nice answers.I reckon I will wear clothes,go understated tho, dont want to shock him with a Bjork style outfit.
Cleavage is all I have as I wasnt blessed with long legs so definate cleavagery will occur.
My make up is within the boundaries it should be in(eyes lips, no blusher).I wore more than normal today when I went into London and I have to say it looked quite nice even at the end of the day even after a very hot 45minute walk back to the station.

Its almost an unbearable excitedness, will he be there, wont he, will he still be single, will he be going out with one of my friends without me knowing, will he be happy to see me again, will I be able to fake a smile when I see he has someone in his life.Ahhh, the joys of fancying someone.

[LukeHogbin]

Oh, tomatoes were poisonous btw

The leaves, steam and green unripe tomatoes are somewhat poisonous, but nowhere near lethal levels. Unless you're a dog.

[Silent Theatre]

Good point, maybe I could use that info as an opening line.

[Narsil]

Just over a week to go til I possibly see the guy I like.Plans, what to wear,attitude to portray,aloofness, sweetness, lots of make up, minimal make up??

My advice is not to worry about it too much, obviously you want to impress so wear your best but make sure it's your best, don't try to second guess what he might like. I think the main thing with any kind of relationship, romantic or otherwise, is to try to engage with the other person, don;t be afraid to express your own opinions in case you cause offence and don;t worry if your viewpoint  differ a bit. A quest for a clone of yourself is a fools errand. Most people like someone who listens to what they say and can give an intelligent response based on their own thoughts even if it's not 100% in line with what they think. In fact some of the most interesting relationships are based on mutual respect for differing opinions rather han mindless acquiescence.

[S.Sprocket]

Two years and it's run it's course, dispite about 6 months of me personally trying to keep this thread on topic, it's just an idle chat channel.  closing, please do not open a like minded thread.

[Utini420]

Uhm, why was our "idle chat line" arbitrarily closed?  Was it somehow hurting something?  I should probably say upfront that unless it was somehow impacting server performance (which I seriously doubt) you're story's gonna need to be pretty good or we'll just assume its full of crap.

Like that thread was, admittedly.  But for real, what was it hurting?

[TribalWren]

I kind of have to concur...even though I'm a good girl and don't want to get in trouble. It is in the 'off topic' section of the site and therefore could be argued doesn't need to have absolute relevance all of the time! XD

 That said, I personally felt like even though there WAS a lot of crap and off title-topic conversation amongst friends (I have got to know more people whom I count as friends through this one thread than the entire rest of the forum) there still remained continual lines of conversation relating to individual's relationship status/woes etc. And recently too.....bit harsh to cut it off without warning or without asking for the views of the people who actually use it, what? 

[Utini420]

One would think the constant stream of relationship advice would count as "on topic," wouldn't one?

I am resisting the urge to go bitch about "off topic" in every thread elShoggotho and S.Sprocket post in, but then I'd be the asshole.

[TribalWren]

Well yeah that would make you an asshole ;-) I understand that the moderators are volunteers and trying to stick to the guidelines etc. Nonetheless I feel that attention must also be drawn to the mission statements of the forum:

http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,1629.0.html

Here it is acknowledged several times that threads can and may wander from topic. It also says threads will seldom be closed and that where possible members will be informed of changes to be made. Finally it says that it will attempt to keep the interests of the majority of forum members foremost.

I would respectfully suggest that the fact this thread has survived for such a long time is because a large proportion of members are interested in its survival. Thus, perhaps a simple democratic vote would have been/ would be a polite course of action?

[Narsil]

yeah I think that a certain social element is good for any community forum and teh single thread was a good outlet for random chat without clogging up other threads.

And. let's face it. meting people is a significant part of the point of any forum and this was a good way to encourage this, it's not a dating arean by any stretch but I think a moderate amount of easy going flirting and discussion of what, for most people, is an important part of their lives helps to grease the social wheels in the rest of the forum.

[S.Sprocket]

I did put on the closed thread please do not create a like minded thread.


As to utini's comment "was it somehow hurting something" I would point to the numerous posts Proteus have made regarding the fragile nature of the bandwidth of this forum.  If given the choice to spend bandwith on steampunk conversation versus off topic threads, we'll choose steampunk every time.

to Mr. TribalWren who quoted the mission statement I'd like to point out another passage in the mission statement:

"...  Will attempt to keep the interests of the majority of forum members foremost, understanding that the Forum cannot be everything to everyone, and that changes that please a particular minority, may alienate the previously content majority."

This thread was not closed willy nilly.  This was the most talked about and debated thread on the moderator section and this was not done idly.