The Steampunk Forum at Brass Goggles
July 16, 2019, 05:25:26 pm *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News: Brassgoggles.co.uk - The Lighter Side Of Steampunk, follow @brasstech for forum technical problems & updates.
 
   Home   Blog Help Rules Login Register  
Pages: 1 ... 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 [48] 49 50 51 52 53 54   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Single Steampunks?  (Read 335163 times)
CorneliaCarton
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Scotland Scotland

Gravatar


« Reply #1175 on: December 07, 2009, 07:29:23 pm »

That reminds me, I have a story for you all.

Today, I went into Dundee (my local town) to do some shopping.
After I was done shopping, I went into a book store to look at the prices of some books I've been wanting to buy.
Being my clumsy self, as I was about to leave, I walked straight into someone. This someone happened to be a rather hansome gentleman and I near swooned.
He was, to say the least, gorgeous.
After much apologising we talked for a while, and I found out that he was also steampunk, and that he had met Abney Park at steamcon.
I rather foolishly didn't ask him for his email, but as a great believer in destiny and fate, and I believe that if I am meant to meet him again, then I will.
But squeeee!
 Grin
Logged

Ginny Audriana Irondust Moravia. Pleased t' meet ya.
eggberta echegaray
Officer
***
Canada Canada


Eggberta
« Reply #1176 on: December 08, 2009, 02:01:32 am »

Is bummed. The roadside romance dude from a week ago last Sunday, never returned my call...pffttt....whatever...Guess I was only good enough to snog in a parking lot, but looks like, that's as far as it goes. Sheesh, never even got a chance to see what more would come of it, if anything. Men crack me up. Sorry for being so glum...just...in a blah of a mood. *sighs* I'll be fine.
Logged

"She's got a touch of Tuesday Weld and has the right dynamics for the new frontier"
Thor
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Carpe Jugulum

bigastronauts
WWW
« Reply #1177 on: December 08, 2009, 11:22:17 am »

Is bummed. The roadside romance dude from a week ago last Sunday, never returned my call...pffttt....whatever...Guess I was only good enough to snog in a parking lot, but looks like, that's as far as it goes. Sheesh, never even got a chance to see what more would come of it, if anything. Men crack me up. Sorry for being so glum...just...in a blah of a mood. *sighs* I'll be fine.

He must be out of his mind.
He does not deserve you and you deserve better.

I can't speak for him, but if it was me, I would have been incredibly shocked at how forward I'd been, and spend nearly a week worrying that I'd been too forward*.  Then I would fret and worry over if I should call, and then I'd try to call but the line would be busy, and then I'd spend another week worrying that I'd blown it, and worry myself into inaction.

Maybe that's just me, but I wouldn't necessarily count him out completely.  But nor would I worry and obsess.  Carry on with life, and if he calls... bonus!


*I'm a very shy, awkward person, I'm not sure how I ever got a girlfriend, let alone several... apparently I'm a charmer and a flirt at times, I guess I just never noticed it happening
Logged

So when times are hard and life is rough, you can stick the kettle on and find me a cup...
You can find me at facebook Here
Cpt. Tobias Warde
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United Kingdom United Kingdom


Tobias T. Warde, Captain & Detective Inspector


« Reply #1178 on: December 08, 2009, 06:22:59 pm »

Nick's edit: I found this while pruning and, like most of the thread, it's got absolutely nothing to do with relationship advice whatsoever. However, it is extremely silly and looks rather fun, so on that merit, it stays.


By the way.
If a quiche hunting party is formed, I would like to offer my services.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am an excellent tracker and a fine marksman. And I know a lot of campfire songs  Cheesy


I shall join this hunting party, though I am not a man for quiche. I am fast and nimble on my feet, and also very good at hiding in woodland. I am very good at singing campfire songs out of key AND I can get a fire going in any weather!

To practice, I went on a hunt earlier, though this time my prey was the crafty cheddar cheese;

Checking my gear...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...I proceeded to test my speed at reloading the M11 and also my screaming/scared face in case I encountered the cheese when I least expected it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Prepared, I set off, creeping out of the room and checking the corner on the landing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Unable to see anything, I turned the light on. And adopted a mean 'SWAT' face whilst peering around the corner.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As I advanced upon the bathroom, I spotted a local informer through my scope

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fortunatly, he obeyed my commands and stayed where he was.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

However, he was less forthcoming with information on the cheese, so I was forced to extreme measures of interrogation.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Under this intensive form of questionning, he finally 'quacked' (Grin) and told me I might find the cheese in the kitchen. Leaving him I proceeded down the stairs, checking corners as I did so.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Outside the kitchen I crouched by the door, assuming a 'I'm ready for action' expression, and cradling my G36 close.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Assaulting the kitchen, I quickly discarded my G36c, drew my M11 & Glock18 and stood ready at the fridge door. I yanked open the fridge door and there it was!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"FREEZE CHEESE!" I screamed, and under the barrels of my M11 & Glock it went still, its packet not even quivering as the lettering stared up at me, too scared to move. Taking advantage of this I advanced with my M11.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Flushed with victory, I posed for the mass cameras of the media, showing off the vaunted cheese and the weapon that had saved the day!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
.



So. Can I join the hunting party? PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE!
« Last Edit: May 01, 2010, 08:02:04 pm by Sir Nikolas Vendigroth » Logged


G-Man, Half-life 2, Episode 2:
"There was a time when they cared nothing for Miss Vance, when their only experience of humanity was a crowbar coming at them down a steel corridor"
Utini420
Zeppelin Admiral
******
United States United States


it is OK to tell me when its time to shut up


WWW
« Reply #1179 on: December 08, 2009, 06:53:46 pm »

Though I care for neither quiche nor those who pursue it, I'm never one to pass up a good hunt!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: December 08, 2009, 06:59:11 pm by Utini420 » Logged

If you have a Dremmel, everything is compatible.
Utini's Workshop:   http://utini420.blogspot.com
Captain Spooner
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States

Just your average tinkering steamy ninja.


« Reply #1180 on: December 18, 2009, 08:18:12 am »

I had a date the other day, but I dunno...he said he's more of a "cat person" than a "dog person." 

Is this a deal breaker of a difference? Or do you think this might be indicative of other differences that would be more severe?  I'm not particularly fond of cats simply because I have no desire to pay for the upkeep of an animal that doesn't care if I'm upset with it, but I was more than willing to put up with my ex's fondness for her cats while we were together.  But in any event congratulations on getting a date. Personally its been a while and will most likely be a while more.


They triggered my seizure, but I can't afford a lawyer to sue, and if I did, I'd probably get myself locked out of my favourite mall anyway -- one which even were it not, I'd have to go to, as it's the only place in town with an active curling club.

I don't understand as to why the thought of suing this said mall, would even be brought up! How in hell would the contractors and/or design team for the mall, who put the floor pattern in a washroom know that this particular pattern, would prompt an epileptic seizure in someone? Wow...what's next, suing mother nature for a sporadic flashy lightening storm that prompts an epileptic seizure? I'm sorry if I come across as being an insensitive jerk here, I'm trying not to be.  I am very sorry that flashy wiggly patterns could literally kill a human by having a grand mal seizure, being due to the abnormalities of response in person's brain. It's not their fault, nor is it the fault of someone who doesn't have a clue as to what would trigger off such an event in someone who has epilepsy. If this sort of thing happens a lot, then the public should really be educated about it, and restrictions should be enforced. So does the same apply to flashy Christmas lights, strobe lighting at an event either in person, or on a TV or movie screen? Just curious.

As the son of a lawyer I can contribute many wonderful reasons for the litigiousness of american society but the most telling is that people may make money of it.  One could argue that the mall was liable for any injuries our friend the dear doctor might have sustained if only in negligence. The reason that lawn mowers now have warning signs on them depicting fingers and toes getting amputated is due to a lawsuit where a man who was holding his running lawn mower in the air in an attempt to use it to trim his hedges became distracted and dropped the mower on his legs. He decided that without a warning that the big spinning blade he was using to cut plants could also cut a part of his body if it was underneath said spinning blade.  One lawsuit later he was a legless millionaire with an even richer lawyer and lawnmower manufacturers started thinking of liability.

regards,
spooner
Logged

"It is the mark of the cultured man that he is aware of the fact that equality is an ethical and not a biological principle."
-Ashley Montagu
CaptainPhania
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Australia Australia


Captain who bought her commission.


« Reply #1181 on: December 18, 2009, 12:23:47 pm »

Boy am I glad I'm not photo sensative. Another life long epileptic here but i'm more hormone trigered then light triggered. I have little twitches and small absent seizures constanly but very little in way of gran mals.
I'm mainly hormone, sleep, and drug triggered but the odd photo-sensitive seizure happens. I vary from having a shaking hand to clusters of massive fits (19 in one day  Sad). It just depends on how low my threshold is at any time. I don't think I've ever had an absence seizure - but then, it's hard to tell, isn't it?
I've found lately it's affected my confidence in terms of courtship. I went out with someone who thought the whole time that I was claustrophobic, so that's put me off a bit.
Logged
TribalWren
Guest
« Reply #1182 on: December 28, 2009, 07:04:14 pm »

Welcome to the thread...you will find many a woman here with both daunting intellect and biting tongue...and in both heels and flats.  Wink Oh, saying that, perhaps you are right- this is why we are all here...*enlightenment*! You will find many men profess that they are attracted to a free-thinking woman, yet those words never seem to translate into action....I wonder why? >leads on to debate about the definition of masculinity in the modern age<

I'd say that it seems as though it's because you're often quite obsessed with not merely doing well for yourselves but with comparing yourselves to us men and constantly trying to do better, regardless of the subject matter, or at the very least playing us for fools or treating us badly if you find that your initial strategy fails, but I'd probably get slapped for that.

Seriously. I've been chewed out for holding the door or a coat, or for daring to help girls out when they could do it fine themselves, thank you very much! I've been railed on and accused both of being a chauvinist pig and being too nice, all in the space of the same conversation.

And then there's the problem with the fact that those who don't compare themselves to us men also seem to do so because they plainly don't care, and thus aren't interested...

/clears his throat, takes a seat, and braces for the incoming criticism...

My you're a nervous bird! (not sure if that's English...but will continue regardless!) I know exactly what you are talking about...but the problem is that women have found themselves to be in a difficult situation. For example, I consider myself to be rather feminist in my views, I have lived in countries where women have been treated as little more than dogs and as far as I'm concerned both male and female are equal, with no concept of trying to be 'better' as you say, in any way. YET, I also acknowledge that men and women are essentially different. This does not affect their worth, but is merely a reflection of 'nature', shall we say. The problem is that nowadays many feminists would have a problem with me saying that. Why? Because, in order for us to have gained our equality, we have often been forced to 'sacrifice' those differences in order to get ahead and be regarded as having the same capabilities as men (this is why many feel they have to continue the struggle and strive to be better than men so that they are truly acknowledged in the same way).

This is why some women are cautious with such incidents including the one that you referred to, of men 'holding the door open' for us. I'm sure most women would actually appreciate that fact, it shows courtesy! However, due to it's 'historical' context (in the age of chivalry, women were considered 'weak') they do not want to seem as though they are 'submitting' as such.

Conversely, I understand that more recently men are in the same situation. Womenfolk ask them to fulfill the masculine stereotypes and at the same time be 'emotionally available, in touch with their feelings, considerate' etc. So, what I am trying to argue is that until 'masculinity' and 'feminity' are defined in equal terms WITH the acknowledgement of natural difference...the confusion will remain.

That is just my personal view......I hope people will not start attacking me now!  Smiley  
« Last Edit: December 28, 2009, 07:06:35 pm by TribalWren » Logged
malcontentcontent
Officer
***
United States United States


I'm in it for the dirt.


« Reply #1183 on: December 28, 2009, 08:11:20 pm »


I'd say that it seems as though it's because you're often quite obsessed with not merely doing well for yourselves but with comparing yourselves to us men and constantly trying to do better, regardless of the subject matter, or at the very least playing us for fools or treating us badly if you find that your initial strategy fails, but I'd probably get slapped for that.

Seriously. I've been chewed out for holding the door or a coat, or for daring to help girls out when they could do it fine themselves, thank you very much! I've been railed on and accused both of being a chauvinist pig and being too nice, all in the space of the same conversation.

And then there's the problem with the fact that those who don't compare themselves to us men also seem to do so because they plainly don't care, and thus aren't interested...

/clears his throat, takes a seat, and braces for the incoming criticism...
No criticism, just rebuttal.  Tongue

I, myself, know I am very capable when it comes to certain things, and I strive to do my best in these things.  If my best is better than a man's, so be it.  If not, then that's life.  There's always someone who's better at something than you are, doesn't mean you should quit trying to better yourself, whether you be a man or a woman. I compare myself to people, not just men, not just women. However, I find issue with people who believe I can't do something simply because I'm a woman, not because I lack the training or ability. Although, it doesn't seem you're one of those people, so I digress.

As far as women "playing [men] for fools or treating [them] badly if [we] find that [our] initial strategy fails," I'm sure that may sometimes be the case.  However, I know plenty of men who do the same when they're proven wrong.  It's just the trait of someone who has a difficult personality, not a trait specific to women.

Now, let me say, if you opened the door for me, I would find it quite polite and would appreciate it.  Unless you made me walk under your arm to get through the door, rather than standing behind the door so I could pass through freely.  I cannot tell you how many times I've had men open the door for me in such a way that i was forced to pass under their arm, which puts me between their bodies and the door.  I'm a bit on the short side; an average height man's armpit is normally level with my face.  Even if he's washed that day, he may not be at his freshest.  And, if I don't know the man, it's a little awkward to have to be in such close proximity to a stranger.  

So, consider the way you open the door for women.  If you're being a gentlemen and standing behind the door, then I say ignore the negative reactions you get.  You're trying to be polite, not a chauvinist; many women will recognize that fact, even if they would rather you not open the door for them.  And, if they would rather you not open the door, they should politely you inform you of such.

If you're making women pass under your arm, that could be the reason for the rude reaction lol.


Welcome to the thread...you will find many a woman here with both daunting intellect and biting tongue...and in both heels and flats.  Wink Oh, saying that, perhaps you are right- this is why we are all here...*enlightenment*! You will find many men profess that they are attracted to a free-thinking woman, yet those words never seem to translate into action....I wonder why? >leads on to debate about the definition of masculinity in the modern age<
I think the reason their words never become more than words is because many men are fearful they will run into the woman Acheron has described.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2009, 08:13:10 pm by malcontentcontent » Logged
Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1184 on: December 28, 2009, 09:17:10 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Je préfère le considérer comme étant 'prudent'...

I must say though, that I wholly agree with your standpoint on the matter. There are differences between men and women that cannot simply be swept under the rug without one having to abandon all common sense, and if they cannot be appreciated, then at the very least they must be regarded and taken account for...

Personally, I believe that such things as showing 'chivalric' behavior can be less relevant to one's perspective regarding others, and more to the fact that one might want to culture and improve oneself. It still reflects certain social viewpoints, true, but as with quite a lot of things, the intent of the action defines it...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The suggestion that I might do something as rude as force someone, man or woman, to go under my arm aside... Or, well, actually, not aside. I feel that you've placed your finger on a crucial point here, and that is the most prominent difference between men and women in general; social networking. How we interact with and regard people of the same contra the other sex.

I would never invade someone's personal space, unless somehow confronted, and largely I have gotten the impression from every other man I've known that while far more open with other things that are acceptable outlets, we men have a much stricter, harsher sense of personal integrity. We're touchier and more aware of other people's spheres of influence and comfort. And this extends far beyond the physical; men do not criticize or attempt to back-talk or second-guess others, even out of their presence, unless it is absolutely clear that the other party is either comfortable with this, or someone that the man in question is on rather unfriendly grounds with. This I believe is why men don't hug, don't confide in others as much, and don't form the social clusters that women do, among other things. The only time men 'open up' is with women, and then almost only with their significant other, or someone other whom they nevertheless feel that they can completely trust.

This, together with the social conventions that have been drilled into us from the moment we can understand words - that you are nice to girls, and that it's women who get to choose, etcetera - is precisely why women have not just one but quite a few up on men when it comes to social manipulation and mistreatment. They have all kinds of tools that we don't, and very few things to restrain them. I take this as a matter of fact, and endeavor as much as I can to stay out of as much of it as I possibly can, something which seems to have hampered me in having any sort of normal relationship much...

As for opening doors, I consider the correct way to be opening it, then standing to the side and indicating with a very slight bow of one's head that the lady in question should pass.

I think the reason their words never become more than words is because many men are fearful they will run into the woman Acheron has described.

Indeed. The sort that I have run into many times. The sort that seems very well aware of and confident in and because of the way she knows that she can stab hard at most men's egos.

On the definition of masculinity, a thought I just had: women have always had the dubious enjoyment of some classical double standards like the Madonna/whore: she must be presentable and virtuous in polite society, but a wildcat in the bedroom, and that only with me and when I want it.  Well, boys, we've got some now, too: we must be powerful and sensitive, both in mixed company and the private bed room.

This is quite true. I find it not to be a problem though, and that it may be too easily simplified. And besides, may it not too often be a question of personal preference to count as a social norm and thus a stereotype problem? And... Well, I shan't get into personal experiences here. And I've already written too much.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2009, 09:26:35 pm by Acheron » Logged

'The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.'

   - Henry Kissinger
malcontentcontent
Officer
***
United States United States


I'm in it for the dirt.


« Reply #1185 on: December 28, 2009, 10:06:11 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I simply brought up the point that many men force women to pass under their arms when they open the door  because it has happened to me repeatedly.  Perhaps it is simply an American problem, but it happens frequently and men here think nothing of it.  I've actually had to explain how rude it was to some of my male friends, and they had been unaware of their rudeness. Obviously, you are aware of the issue I find with having to pass under arms and I'm glad to hear that we agree this behavior is very rude.  I do not know you, sir, and I simply brought this point up as a possibility, and partially in jest (hence the lol...).  I did not mean to accuse, and if you thought that was my intention, I apologize.

As for your point to social conventions, yes, it is true that many men are conditioned to be "chivalrous" from a tender age, and women are conditioned to expect it.  However, there are many men who are not chivalrous, in fact chivalry is becoming increasingly rare.  I appreciate a man who will open a door, or pull out my chair at dinner, or help me up a tall step.  But, if I come to expect this behavior from men, experience has taught me I will be sorely disappointed.  So, when I find a man who behaves in this way, I am pleasantly surprised.  If a man doesn't run around the car to open my door or leaves me to my own devices at the dining table, then I accept it.  I am capable of taking care of myself, but it doesn't mean I don't like being treated like a lady.

I think your thoughts are correct as to why men don't get as "touchy feely" as women do, and social conditioning also plays a role.  In most cultures, men are supposed to be stoic and assertive, they're not supposed to show weakness, they're not supposed to be emotional.  Women are not trained this way.  We're traditionally expected to be quiet, gentle, and non-confrontational.  What many men consider "back-talking" or "second-guessing" may be just that, but it may also be an attempt to get a point across without seeming too aggressive. My point is that because of our conditioning, we often cannot tell what the other party is thinking when it comes to interaction between the sexes.  If we were equipped with the tools to properly communicate with one another, I don't think we would even be having this discussion.

Sometimes when we cannot break free of that training or conform to it, we feel strange.  I am not as emotional as other women, and often I feel like an outcast, or that I couldn't absorb the social training I should have.  I simply realize that I have been conditioned differently, and try not to let it interfere with my social interactions.  Although, I'm sure my manner of communicating and attitudes also illustrate I'm somewhat different from most women.

In summation, I can say that in the unlikely event you ever opened a door for me,  I would not be offended by the manner you would do so, and I'd try to tread lightly so as not to bungle my awkward attempts at social networking.   Wink

As for this:

Indeed. The sort that I have run into many times. The sort that seems very well aware of and confident in and because of the way she knows that she can stab hard at most men's egos.

I can assure you that was not my intent, if that's what you're implying.
« Last Edit: December 28, 2009, 10:14:52 pm by malcontentcontent » Logged
Hyeronymus Amphigourias
Snr. Officer
****
France France



« Reply #1186 on: January 03, 2010, 10:51:23 am »


Monsieur Amphygorious,
I'm still awaiting your reply. Grin
Sorry I have been busy. Here we go :

Should the senses submit to reason
without being, of our ideal, a treason?
I want to celebrate the beauty of women
In this time of threatening omen

Selfcensorship should not be our prison
When universal love should be something of season
But I admit, these few verses written in haste
Cannot compete with those of Lord Wraste

 Wink
« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 12:24:27 pm by Hyeronymus Amphigourias » Logged
TribalWren
Guest
« Reply #1187 on: January 03, 2010, 05:18:22 pm »

Ah bon...six months ago I was in same position...with the wedding plans and all. But thinking about it- I got over him pretty damn quick *read: die you lying cheating bastard*  Cheesy. Now is the time to have for yourself; have some fun, flirt, go meet new people, make connections etc. So! Enjoy the smart and the pithy and the silly to your heart's content!  Smiley

Har-...?! Exp-...?! Haewudhudhaedeneh?!

I'm going to commit an atrocious act of discourtesy now... Ahem...

How old are you, Wren? Because you seem quite old enough to me that you should be past that stage of easy infatuation, no disrespect intended.



huh? Not sure I catch your drift...or perhaps you don't catch mine?! I am old enough (yes, a Lady never reveals her age...and a Gentleman would never ask for it) to have settled into a career, purchased a house and begun to plan my wedding with my fiance... which is why when it all went to pot, I am mature enough to realise that it would be unwise to enter straight into another serious relationship. Would it not be more beneficial to re-evaluate what you want from life and what your plans are to be, rather than stumble into something because it's more familiar/comfortable to you?!

 So, rather than 'easy infatuation' as you say; I see the time when you leave a long-term relationship as one to claim for yourself; I know it can be a pretty lonely time and so I have to make efforts to make connections with others (connections being friendship above anything romantic) and to regain that joie de vivre. Otherwise, one could always just wallow in the pits of bitterness, hatred and despair...? Would that be more preferable to you, Sir?
« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 05:23:14 pm by TribalWren » Logged
TribalWren
Guest
« Reply #1188 on: January 03, 2010, 06:32:01 pm »

I count myself as "old enough to know better" and I still find myself infatuated with certain women.
Infatuation isn't bad. What you do with said infatuation is where things get sticky.
Just because I feel the heavens part and hear birds sing when I woman I think is lovely walks into the room doesn't mean that it's love.
It does mean that I'll be more likely to talk to her in the first place. Wink

HA! I'm so the total opposite *steely eyed*. Infatuation occasionally visits me but then the oh-so-logical suspicious of all men, practical side overtakes it....and squashes it into nothingness! >I am woman! Hear me RAWR!<  Grin Because you are quite right...as soon as you get over the whole 'puberty' marlarky, you realise that just because you have an infactuation it doesn't always spell- *love* >cue the fairy-dust<. So, for me most men I have relationships with, I have formed an actual friendship with them first *gasp! shocking isn't it?!*...so for me that's the most important thing. Plus: The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts.  Grin
Logged
Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1189 on: January 03, 2010, 06:34:13 pm »

Would it not be more beneficial to re-evaluate what you want from life and what your plans are to be, rather than stumble into something because it's more familiar/comfortable to you?!

It is very much as you say. However my experience and input from most of my (female!) friends suggests that girls have a tendency to 'stretch things out' or to try and live too much in their mid-twenties, leading to a period of life that they could and should have spent developing their career and talents being used for... well, unwise decisions conforming to a pattern and aiming merely at some sort of construed satisfaction rather than actual self-fulfillment.

So, rather than 'easy infatuation' as you say; I see the time when you leave a long-term relationship as one to claim for yourself; I know it can be a pretty lonely time and so I have to make efforts to make connections with others (connections being friendship above anything romantic) and to regain that joie de vivre. Otherwise, one could always just wallow in the pits of bitterness, hatred and despair...? Would that be more preferable to you, Sir?

I was not aware that my preference had anything to do with it. I am, simply and plainly, a nosy bastard with a compulsive urge to learn and to exercise my knowledge. And regarding the bitterness, hatred and despair part, I feel that I am not qualified to judge, being so inclined and driven as I am mainly by a long-standing grudge against and dissatisfaction with my life and most of the people who have been part of it. I am vindictive and hateful, and at times what might be called 'evil'. And while I may channel that energy in my pursuits, that is no excuse.

The point I am attempting to make is that true satisfaction, as far as I have seen, comes not from temporary pleasures or material trappings or even the exercise of achieving what many believe to be most important of life's goals; the devotion of marriage. Rather, it stems from one's own capability, knowledge and potential to make one's own choices. Self-awareness and self-improvement, as it were. And any actions that deviate from this will most likely either mean very little or stress and infuriate either you or those around you. Do not place unreasonable demands on yourself; consider, for example, what emotions that 'just friends' limitation might incite in either you or others, or what satisfaction or progress it might hamper. And do the same for all other decisions.

Either way, I was aware that I would likely offend. I do hope though that this does not preclude your listening to and considering my viewpoint. Having said what I set out to, I will now shut my rude mouth.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 06:36:37 pm by Acheron » Logged
TribalWren
Guest
« Reply #1190 on: January 03, 2010, 07:09:21 pm »


Firstly you did not offend at all. I do get offended because I know my own mind (and have no soul...). I am happy to share opinions and open to listening to others' viewpoints. If I feel however, that they are being purposefully insulting, then I have no issue with telling them where to get off. It seems that you like to argue for argument's sake, which I can't really criticise as I'm guilty of often continual and pointless debate myself, however, I am also aware that others on the forum may have different principles, so perhaps Lord Wraste has a point with his advice.
  
Would it not be more beneficial to re-evaluate what you want from life and what your plans are to be, rather than stumble into something because it's more familiar/comfortable to you?!

It is very much as you say. However my experience and input from most of my (female!) friends suggests that girls have a tendency to 'stretch things out' or to try and live too much in their mid-twenties, leading to a period of life that they could and should have spent developing their career and talents being used for... well, unwise decisions conforming to a pattern and aiming merely at some sort of construed satisfaction rather than actual self-fulfillment.


So we are basically arguing the same point...which means we do not really have any points of contention.  Huh Yet, I will say that my personal life means that I have had NO CHOICE but to take the 'responsible' route because I don't have anyone else who would have supported me. If I had had that support then in fact I would have taken more time to enjoy my life. You are looking at the issue from the assumption that 'developing the career' etc is the best decision for all...this may not always be the case. Perhaps I'm just too much of a (closet!) free-spirited-hippy-type but I believe there is more to life than the day-to-day mundane and want to look back feeling as though I had as many experiences as possible. This is how I define 'self-fulfillment'. Others may define it as they will. So, my plans, now that I'm 'free' to do them involve saving money for a year and then leaving that life behind for a while...travelling to the States and training in what I love to do.  Grin

So, rather than 'easy infatuation' as you say; I see the time when you leave a long-term relationship as one to claim for yourself; I know it can be a pretty lonely time and so I have to make efforts to make connections with others (connections being friendship above anything romantic) and to regain that joie de vivre. Otherwise, one could always just wallow in the pits of bitterness, hatred and despair...? Would that be more preferable to you, Sir?

The point I am attempting to make is that true satisfaction, as far as I have seen, comes not from temporary pleasures or material trappings or even the exercise of achieving what many believe to be most important of life's goals; the devotion of marriage. Rather, it stems from one's own capability, knowledge and potential to make one's own choices. Self-awareness and self-improvement, as it were. And any actions that deviate from this will most likely either mean very little or stress and infuriate either you or those around you. Do not place unreasonable demands on yourself; consider, for example, what emotions that 'just friends' limitation might incite in either you or others, or what satisfaction or progress it might hamper. And do the same for all other decisions.

Perhaps, this is saying eactly what I've just said...? *calls for universal translator-machine* I see your point and yet my practicality kicks in...yes, I can agree with your definition of 'true satisfaction' yet ultimately it could be said to be a romantic notion- because in real life we are all constrained by social convention, the need to make a wage to live, the lack of time to devote to one's-self etc. It is only when you break right away from these, as I hope to do, that you can see life for something else. And this takes guts and is risky and goes against everything we are conditioned to believe- so it's not surprsing that most people settle for those temporary pleasures. I do not place unreasonable demands on myself, but rather I know myself. Without going into my entire life history of relationships, it will be hard to explain, but let's just say I have had some not-so-pretty experiences with men and so for my own peace of mind/safety/whatever I prefer to form friendships first so that I have the space to evaluate their character and my own feelings towards them...if then I decide I have deeper feelings then I make that decision to move the friendship on- understand? Girl power....yadayada!  Smiley

« Last Edit: January 03, 2010, 07:14:51 pm by TribalWren » Logged
Reni Valentine
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


see here, Gus - nobody chaperones the chaperone

Reni_Valentine
WWW
« Reply #1191 on: January 03, 2010, 09:24:36 pm »

WARNING: this rant is not for the faint of heart. this touched on quite a few raw nerves and as most of you have seen, i'm not one to sugarcoat things.

It is very much as you say. However my experience and input from most of my (female!) friends suggests that girls have a tendency to 'stretch things out' or to try and live too much in their mid-twenties, leading to a period of life that they could and should have spent developing their career and talents being used for... well, unwise decisions conforming to a pattern and aiming merely at some sort of construed satisfaction rather than actual self-fulfillment.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I was not aware that my preference had anything to do with it. I am, simply and plainly, a nosy bastard with a compulsive urge to learn and to exercise my knowledge. And regarding the bitterness, hatred and despair part, I feel that I am not qualified to judge, being so inclined and driven as I am mainly by a long-standing grudge against and dissatisfaction with my life and most of the people who have been part of it. I am vindictive and hateful, and at times what might be called 'evil'. And while I may channel that energy in my pursuits, that is no excuse.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The point I am attempting to make is that true satisfaction, as far as I have seen, comes not from temporary pleasures or material trappings or even the exercise of achieving what many believe to be most important of life's goals; the devotion of marriage. Rather, it stems from one's own capability, knowledge and potential to make one's own choices. Self-awareness and self-improvement, as it were. And any actions that deviate from this will most likely either mean very little or stress and infuriate either you or those around you. Do not place unreasonable demands on yourself; consider, for example, what emotions that 'just friends' limitation might incite in either you or others, or what satisfaction or progress it might hamper. And do the same for all other decisions.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Either way, I was aware that I would likely offend. I do hope though that this does not preclude your listening to and considering my viewpoint. Having said what I set out to, I will now shut my rude mouth.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

and Wren - when you make it stateside, look me up. we'll paint the town...
Logged

In all reality, "steampunk" is anachronistic, innit? Otherwise it's just Victorian dress-up.

chain smokin', sleep needin', apparel designin', mohawk havin', tea drinkin', steady cursin', boy charmin', card readin' rabble-rouser and amusement park cleverly disguised as a woman

TS245
Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1192 on: January 03, 2010, 10:37:10 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I never argue without a purpose. In fact, I do very little at all without some ulterior motive. To a fault.
  
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The nearer one approaches the correct - or most efficient - solution to a problem, the lesser the differences between the approaches to that problem become. I am not sufficiently convinced that we do agree that the details should not raise dispute or warrant looking into.

I hope that I have not come off as seeming irresponsible or uninformed. I too have had no choice but to take quite some burden. Perhaps that's why I took the example of 'furthering one's career' so immediately. I understand that it might be seen as a bad example, but as money is by far the most powerful tool and enabler in society... Either way, what I meant to say was that developing your own capabilities must always come first, and that I would consider it rather unwise to enter into a marriage if you do not have a base of skills and redundant financial security to depend upon.

I have not been speaking about the 'day-to-day mundane', but it is quite necessary. More necessary though is to be distinguished enough as a person to have both the money to get what you want and the skills to work people so that you get it. Before one can indulge, one must assure that one can afford to do so.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In real life we are only ever constrained by our own capabilities related to the circumstances. Presume that you are capable of stealing ten million from a company and assuredly getting away without a trace; the only thing then practically keeping you from doing so are your own moral compunctions.

A story:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What I wish to express is that if you turn down opportunities merely because of imposed personal limitations or insecurities, it is almost always you yourself who will end up the loser. And if you are really unfortunate, it will not merely be a missed opportunity for something very valuable, but you might make a mistake that you can't even afford in the first place.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2010, 01:16:56 am by Acheron » Logged
Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1193 on: January 03, 2010, 11:56:19 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So instead of enjoying ourselves whilst we're young we should concentrate on our careers and wait untill we're 35 before we step out the front door? Perhaps a diet of brown bread and water would be even more fulfilling.

I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude but that little bit of Zen has got my goat up.

Ah, no. I don't think that I was arguing this. Rather the opposite. But I've been subject to more than one pointless party, seen more than one family feud over study choices, and heard a few tales of disappointment that could have been avoided. Not to mention suffered one parent who brought misery on because of a lack of restraint and will. And relationships that might have turned out fantastic if the other party hadn't been so disregardful. If I can spare some others the experience of having to go through that, then really, a little internet hatred is an insignificant price to pay.

It's... basically about ambition, I suppose. If you're going to do something, don't waste yourself away on doing it halfheartedly and failing. Doesn't matter whether if you're a man or a woman. Mess around, and you'll just end up mediocre...

I'm sorry that it should seem as though anything else were my point. And I apologize, once again. Although, not to those who say things like 'pwned' and such, of course.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2010, 12:13:49 am by Acheron » Logged
SweetestPoison
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United Kingdom United Kingdom

Gravatar


« Reply #1194 on: January 04, 2010, 12:03:53 am »

i think what you fail to see it that what you evidently regard as weakness might not be perceived as such by others and you are thus offending ( intentionally, we get that. you´re evil. uuh.). I personally think that yes, doing things halfheartedly is silly and a bit useless, but everybody needs to make their own mistakes to grow as a person and it wont help them if you - in a manner that comes across as rather condescending - tell them not to make mistakes. I am sure you mean well, but, in all honesty, since you dont sugarcoat things and i dont either, you´re failing miserably and making yourself look like quite the arrogant twat in the process. maybe not your goal, but who knows.
Logged

RoseOak
Zeppelin Captain
*****
England England


Romantic Zoologist


WWW
« Reply #1195 on: January 04, 2010, 12:19:01 am »


Ah, no. I don't think that I was arguing this. Rather the opposite. But I've been subject to more than one pointless party, seen more than one family feud over study choices, and heard a few tales of disappointment that could have been avoided. Not to mention suffered one parent who brought misery on because of a lack of restraint and will. If I can spare some others the experience of having to go through that, then really, a little internet hatred is an insignificant price to pay.

It's... basically about ambition, I suppose. If you're going to do something, don't waste yourself away on doing it halfheartedly and failing. Doesn't matter whether if you're a man or a woman. Mess around, and you'll just end up mediocre...

I'm sorry that it should seem as though anything else were my point. And I apologize, once again. Although, not to those who say things like 'pwned' and such, of course.

Perhaps if you had said *Young people* instead of singling out one sex then all this might have been avoided.
 Everyone does things when young that they may regret when they are older, thats part of life but just because you mess up a bit doesn't mean your whole life is ruined.  Yes lots of people mess things up, its because they're young. Not everyone is born with goal in life and maybe the reason why they are messing around is because they don't now what to do with themselves. No rule says you can't have fun and have a plan for your life. Maybe some people are happy being mediocre, we can't all be geniuses.

 No one hates you but perhaps a little more thought could have gone into that post.
Logged

Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1196 on: January 04, 2010, 12:34:23 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, thank you. I appreciate such a straight reply.

I would say that what I was also trying to say is that your mistakes may not necessarily affect you alone. People may break off relations completely, and this will cost both you and them and likely tear you up inside.

I honestly do not try to come off as sardonic. If I seem condescending, that's a natural product if some feel certain things strike a nerve... but arrogant?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If this tendency I speak of is indeed true and observable, then I would suppose that it is the result of social conventions, not the people themselves. If there is any criticism to be offered, then I offer it to social indoctrination.

And evidently, people do hate me. I don't blame them for it.

I don't know when we should agree that this discussion is over, but fortunately the others seem to have left it behind...
Logged
Lady Corsair
Zeppelin Captain
*****
United States United States


Professed cook

LiLati
« Reply #1197 on: January 04, 2010, 01:09:21 am »

And evidently, people do hate me. I don't blame them for it.

Here is your arrogance in two sentences.  YOU don't blame THEM?  Well, how fantastically magnanimous of you not to blame someone for disliking you.  That's very kind...Perhaps you should examine your behavior and see if perhaps YOU are to blame for them "hating" you.

I don't hate you, but that's only because you're fairly young yourself, and you seem to have had hard times.  However, I do greatly dislike your tone and many of your opinions about how the world works.  But, as I said, you are young, and I figure in 5 years maybe you'll learn something new.  It's hard to believe right now, but you (and the rest of us) don't have all the answers to how the world works.

And, since I've broken my silence on this issue, I'm going to go ahead and comment on your earlier "story" about that girl...I just want to sum it up in more plain language (I feel that is a bit of a barrier for you; you type too formally and I think it's getting in the way of your arguments.  It also adds to the arrogance factor).  You and a girl had feelings for each other.  You both revealed those feelings, and you suddenly start planning to move where she is, making fairly large life decisions (job, school), and she gets a bit spooked.  So, she goes on to date a person that YOU find beneath YOU (not that they would be a bad mate for her, but that they are not as good as you are).  Then, she realizes her "mistake," breaks up with the other guy and makes overtures towards you.  And then you make her cry.  Wow, really?  I'm guess that this was a bit ago, so the girl was probably in her teens...Awesome.  Truly.  Here's a tip, dear.  When you're being attacked by a bunch of women, don't tell a story about how you made a girl cry.  It will not get your point across.  

I'm probably going to live to be 100; that's the life expectancy of our generation (I think it might actually be a little more).  I'm okay with wasting a few years if I learn some lessons.  I think that people need to find out what self-fulfillment means to them, and not be told by someone else.  I find it very fulfilling to take my dog to the park for an hour and just watch him run around like a maniac.  Does that somehow further my own talents?  Not even a little bit.  Am I happy when I'm doing it?  ABSOLUTELY.

I think that perhaps you should take a week or so, and not post in this thread.  And I'm singling you out, because 1) you're newer than the others, and 2) no one is backing you up, so you're all alone on this one.  That should give everyone enough time to cool their jets.



Ha, I got magnanimous spelled right the first time!
Logged

Do you smile to tempt a lover? Or is this your way to hide a broken heart?
Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep; they just lie there and they die there.
Acheron
Zeppelin Captain
*****
Sweden Sweden


Bastard Man powers, activate! Form of Freud!


« Reply #1198 on: January 04, 2010, 01:31:43 am »

Here is your arrogance in two sentences.  YOU don't blame THEM?  Well, how fantastically magnanimous of you not to blame someone for disliking you.  That's very kind...Perhaps you should examine your behavior and see if perhaps YOU are to blame for them "hating" you.

Sorry. I guess I should have said 'I understand them' instead...

And, since I've broken my silence on this issue, I'm going to go ahead and comment on your earlier "story" about that girl...I just want to sum it up in more plain language (I feel that is a bit of a barrier for you; you type too formally and I think it's getting in the way of your arguments.  It also adds to the arrogance factor).  You and a girl had feelings for each other.  You both revealed those feelings, and you suddenly start planning to move where she is, making fairly large life decisions (job, school), and she gets a bit spooked.  So, she goes on to date a person that YOU find beneath YOU (not that they would be a bad mate for her, but that they are not as good as you are).  Then, she realizes her "mistake," breaks up with the other guy and makes overtures towards you.  And then you make her cry.  Wow, really?  I'm guess that this was a bit ago, so the girl was probably in her teens...Awesome.  Truly.  Here's a tip, dear.  When you're being attacked by a bunch of women, don't tell a story about how you made a girl cry.  It will not get your point across.

Thanks for the pointer on the language. I'll mind it.

I said I'd 'toyed' with a few ideas, and I didn't even put all of them across. Certainly not with that much of a show of urgency. And it wasn't that long ago.

I'm not saying I made the right choice; I still don't know. But she did try to use me and saw only to her own convenience even though she was occupied. And whether if I made a girl cry or not shouldn't affect that point.

I think that perhaps you should take a week or so, and not post in this thread.  And I'm singling you out, because 1) you're newer than the others, and 2) no one is backing you up, so you're all alone on this one.  That should give everyone enough time to cool their jets.

Fair enough. Good point.
Logged
malcontentcontent
Officer
***
United States United States


I'm in it for the dirt.


« Reply #1199 on: January 04, 2010, 01:47:15 am »

ANCHORMAN - LOUD NOISES ! - FUNNYDQ


OK, moving right along...

Here's an interesting thought about my singleness I had today, and maybe this is the case for others on this thread, too. 

I know a lot of couples who met through school or work.  I have noticed, however, that I never seem to work with men.  At my old job, we had 45 employees.  Six of them were men.  Of those six, two were gay, one was married, and the others were... well... they all missed work once because they had been arrested for drug-related charges.  At my current job, we have 15 employees, three are men.  One is old, one is gay, and the other I've never been scheduled to work with.  I go to school with mostly men. However, it's a business school, and not only are they all much, much older than I am (sorry, but not my cup of tea), they're all married, have kids, etc.

So, it would seem that in my situation, my only option would be to meet guys through friends and to go out places where I might find people with similar interests.  Only problem is I already know all of my friends' friends, and I see no prospects there.  As for going places where I might find guys with interests similar to mine... well, those types of places just don't exist here.  I don't want to have to drive two hours away to meet people (I'd have to go alone as my friends and I do not share many interests).  In the unlikely event I do find a guy I like who also likes me at one of these places, chances are he's also coming from far away, and then we have a conundrum, don't we?  So, why should I even venture out, especially if it's just for the purpose of possibly potentially maybe meeting someone?  Besides, experience has taught me that only attract jerks.  Why should I go out to meet jerks when I can meet them right here?  I guess I could just go to make some friends who have similar interests; but, I am not the type to make an effort to keep in touch, so any friendship I made while out of town would be short-lived.  I'm horrible, I know, but at least I'm honest.

It would seem I'm single because I attract jerks, I'm emotionally lazy, and perhaps a self-defeatist?! Shocked   Now that I recognize the truth... I expect nothing will change!  *sigh*
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 [48] 49 50 51 52 53 54   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 2.46 seconds with 16 queries.