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Author Topic: Single Steampunks?  (Read 340019 times)
SweetestPoison
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« Reply #1050 on: August 26, 2009, 10:09:28 pm »

There is no cant ( sorry to quote Yoda here). If you want to, you can. And to me it sounds like you want to and need to. All that´s holding you back is a sense of responsibility for someone you are not responsible for. To quote Baz luhrman: "don´t mess with peoples hearts. Dont put up with people who mess with yours". It is not excusable. Ever.
If you really are from the Virgin Islands, then yeah, that´s a small place. But there is no reason why you should have to put up with somehow who obviously scares you and scars you emotionally. That is not okay.
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Thaumaturgical Nuissance
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« Reply #1051 on: August 26, 2009, 10:17:36 pm »

oh boy.. that does not sound healthy, and this is coming from a girl who´s been there. He´s hurting you already, so I´m not very convinced by his argument. Also, excuse me if that is an impertinent question, but why did you turn down someone you truly loved for him? Was it not wanting to hurt him or fearing the consequences?
Both... plus some 'young' consequences...I just don't know what to do, and am hurt, and want to run... but I can't...

The simple answer is : Don't run. walk. If you're afraid he'll try something physical, stay with friends or family and let them know what's going on, and don't hesitate to call the police if need be.

If you're simply afraid of hurting him emotionally, don't be. Make sure he knows it's over, beyond any shadow of doubt. He can take it, and he brought it on himself.
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SweetestPoison
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« Reply #1052 on: August 26, 2009, 10:26:35 pm »

again, agree with Mr TM. The only thing really holding you back is yourself. It sounds cheesy and horrible, but I can tell you this from experience. Things do not get better, no matter how much you wish they will.

Unfortunately i have to go offline now, but keep me updated and if you need someone to talk, i´ll pm you my email address just in case Smiley

good night *hug*
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darkshines
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« Reply #1053 on: August 31, 2009, 08:55:15 pm »

Everyone get in the BG chat room http://brassgoggles.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,18071.0/topicseen.html
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Dr. Hastings
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listen first, then learn to speak


« Reply #1054 on: September 06, 2009, 11:58:15 pm »

Oh dear, it appears I might have confused a friend of mine. She thinks I asked her out. I didn't, not that I don't want to, but she thinks I did. But it being so early in our friendship, she panicked. Oh joyous night. *sigh* And now for damage control....

how did you manage that?


Errr..... We were talking about the future, and how I'd like to share it with someone, but I wasn't thinking about it like that, but she was... And so I'm going to have to have a long awkward talk about that, next time I talk to her.
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Dr. Hastings
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« Reply #1055 on: September 07, 2009, 03:46:11 am »

Perhaps, but knowing my luck, probably not.
But my rampant pessimism shant get in the way of my hope!
Who knows what's to come!
Though, still there remains the need for a long, awkward talk.
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« Reply #1056 on: September 07, 2009, 04:16:01 am »

Perhaps, but knowing my luck, probably not.
But my rampant pessimism shant get in the way of my hope!
Who knows what's to come!
Though, still there remains the need for a long, awkward talk.

Though it sounds cliche, just be yourself. Go with what happens and take what you can. Some people are worth the courage.

Oh dear, now I'm terribly lonely again....
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Gypsy
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« Reply #1057 on: September 07, 2009, 08:24:56 am »

I have yet to decide whether or not it is a happy thing I am entering into this conversation again. My time before was brief, but then I had hope of romance. Now, I am extremely aware of the fact I am single.


Why is it everytime I lower my defenses and allow myself to let emotions get involved (and then end up being disappointed or worse) it's harder for me to desire being single even though I should be thankful I am?

A year ago I barely cared I was single.

*sigh*


I did overhear an amazing piece of advice from a man whose wife left him recently. My friend inquired about how he was fending and this man answered "There are only two things you can do to heal a broken heart: pray a lot and make out with as many girls as possible."

I suppose I could put this to the test, but instead of seeking women I would prey on men.


P.S. I actually think the second part may be very bad advice. I still found it unfortunately amusing.
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Viaţa este frumoasă
Cpt. Tobias Warde
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« Reply #1058 on: September 07, 2009, 09:36:55 am »

<offers Gypsy a hug>

It does take time to get used to being single again. After my last girlfriend it took me about six or so months to start getting over her.

I wouldn't advise following that advice, as it may damage you emotionally as well as send out the wrong signals to any males you 'preyed' upon, and before you know it, you've got a bunch of people 'chasing' you, when you'd rather they didn't and...yeah, could get quite messy.
Best thing I can recommend would be to spend as much time with your friends as is possible, it always helps to be around people you can talk to/have fun with.

Smiley
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« Reply #1059 on: September 07, 2009, 10:10:12 am »

Sigh.... I almost wish that I had "split" with my girlfriend.

The thing is, we never really even had a chance to break up - I didn't get to see her for most of the summer and now I'm at University for four years, starting with four months away from home. She doesn't believe a long distance relationship will work and I understand her point...

The problem is, I am still, in my heart, madly in love with her and we still keep contact, but both she and I have said that we will date other people where we are... we never argued or anything, it was simple circumstance...

Which is a whole other problem, in that none of the girls here really interest me... Maybe I'm just used to actually having someone half intelligent to talk to and who isn't selfish, vapid or boring. Plus my personality is naturally bad for such things - I can't "pick up" girls. I'm distant at times, but I crave real companionship - actual understanding...

Okay, sorry, endrant...
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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #1060 on: September 10, 2009, 07:53:25 am »

The inuendo's get worse and more thinly veiled with every conversation. >.<

i dont get it Huh
While you people were blathering about clones or somesuch, I've got ongoing moral quandries, damn you!

I sympathize with your quandary but... geez, I've never had to deal with something like that.  Shocked  Don't do anything rash... yet... better yet ignore me as I have no clue how to help.  Sad
Thing is, by my thinking, another mans wife would make a -hell- of a story for the lads. Is that wrong?  Roll Eyes

I've missed out on a lot lately, but this post caught my eye. I guess your theory is correct. Do tell?
I'm being courted by another mans wife. Quite blatantly, and in exquisit tempting detail.  Shocked Roll Eyes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*Sigh*. From my twisted (or untwisted) viewpoint, if she's happier with you then go for it... but I have sort of a non-standard view on things that the establishment people will probably eventually have me locked up for.  Wink I view love as an organic fluid thing...
I'm inclined to agree with you - I certainly don't view matters of the heart, or other bits, in a particularly 'traditiona' sense. But for some reason, this ones making me think. Prooobably 'cause I know the guy - if not well, then at least in passing...  Shocked Huh
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I've stood knee deep cyanide, got sick with a caustic burn
Been working rough, I've seen enough, to make your stomach turn


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« Reply #1061 on: September 10, 2009, 09:01:19 am »

The inuendo's get worse and more thinly veiled with every conversation. >.<

i dont get it Huh
While you people were blathering about clones or somesuch, I've got ongoing moral quandries, damn you!

I sympathize with your quandary but... geez, I've never had to deal with something like that.  Shocked  Don't do anything rash... yet... better yet ignore me as I have no clue how to help.  Sad
Thing is, by my thinking, another mans wife would make a -hell- of a story for the lads. Is that wrong?  Roll Eyes

I've missed out on a lot lately, but this post caught my eye. I guess your theory is correct. Do tell?
I'm being courted by another mans wife. Quite blatantly, and in exquisit tempting detail.  Shocked Roll Eyes

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*Sigh*. From my twisted (or untwisted) viewpoint, if she's happier with you then go for it... but I have sort of a non-standard view on things that the establishment people will probably eventually have me locked up for.  Wink I view love as an organic fluid thing...
I'm inclined to agree with you - I certainly don't view matters of the heart, or other bits, in a particularly 'traditional' sense. But for some reason, this ones making me think. Prooobably 'cause I know the guy - if not well, then at least in passing...  Shocked Huh

Hehe... well then, it depends what you think of the guy then.  Grin

And of her, I suppose.

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Sean Patrick O-Byrne
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Belligerent Hairy-Bloke and Improper Philospher


« Reply #1062 on: September 10, 2009, 07:16:47 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
In truth, this does not sound the sort of affair that will end well...but if if feels right... enjoy it while it lasts...
End well for who? I'll be fine.
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Athena
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« Reply #1063 on: September 11, 2009, 08:59:03 pm »

I have a bit of a problem. It's a friend's problem actually (yes, it really is, so quiet).

She met this guy a few weeks (read it, WEEKS) ago. She's met his parents and they've talked. Well, I was informed yesterday that he was planning on proposing next week. N-E-X-T week. Now, I'm in no way shape form or fashion a traditionalist when it comes to relationships, but she's known him for all of, let's say, close to a month, hasn't lived with him yet (and therefore doesn't know all his little quirks), has met with him only a few times, and he's ready to pop the question. AAAAAAAAAAAAAND she's willing to say yes. She was picking out rings and wedding invitations yesterday.

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? And how in hells am I supposed to snap her out of it? Help!
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Siryn
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« Reply #1064 on: September 11, 2009, 09:21:03 pm »

I have a bit of a problem. It's a friend's problem actually (yes, it really is, so quiet).

She met this guy a few weeks (read it, WEEKS) ago. She's met his parents and they've talked. Well, I was informed yesterday that he was planning on proposing next week. N-E-X-T week. Now, I'm in no way shape form or fashion a traditionalist when it comes to relationships, but she's known him for all of, let's say, close to a month, hasn't lived with him yet (and therefore doesn't know all his little quirks), has met with him only a few times, and he's ready to pop the question. AAAAAAAAAAAAAND she's willing to say yes. She was picking out rings and wedding invitations yesterday.

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? And how in hells am I supposed to snap her out of it? Help!

Wow...well..my mom works with a woman who only knew her husband for a week before they got married..and they've been together for 20+ years...so I dunno what to say about this one..I mean..it's RARE that something like that would work out..but..wow..Um...I really don't know what to say about this one..
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Athena
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« Reply #1065 on: September 11, 2009, 09:25:41 pm »

Maybe it'll work out, who knows. She's only 22-23, and I just don't want her to get stuck with someone she may not even be that compatible with. Ultimately it'll be her choice anyway, but I really wish she would think about it a little more.
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The_Steam_Master
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« Reply #1066 on: September 11, 2009, 09:44:53 pm »

thats a rather tough situation, it could work out, it could not, nobody knows for sure
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Siryn
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« Reply #1067 on: September 11, 2009, 09:46:22 pm »

Maybe it'll work out, who knows. She's only 22-23, and I just don't want her to get stuck with someone she may not even be that compatible with. Ultimately it'll be her choice anyway, but I really wish she would think about it a little more.

That's why they have this thing called a divorce lol..or an annulment..The past few decades or so have proven that marriages aren't permanent unfortunately.
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Reni Valentine
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see here, Gus - nobody chaperones the chaperone

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« Reply #1068 on: September 12, 2009, 06:04:44 am »

I have a bit of a problem. It's a friend's problem actually (yes, it really is, so quiet).

She met this guy a few weeks (read it, WEEKS) ago. She's met his parents and they've talked. Well, I was informed yesterday that he was planning on proposing next week. N-E-X-T week. Now, I'm in no way shape form or fashion a traditionalist when it comes to relationships, but she's known him for all of, let's say, close to a month, hasn't lived with him yet (and therefore doesn't know all his little quirks), has met with him only a few times, and he's ready to pop the question. AAAAAAAAAAAAAND she's willing to say yes. She was picking out rings and wedding invitations yesterday.

Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? And how in hells am I supposed to snap her out of it? Help!

wow. just wow. these are people that i'll never encounter right? because i suddenly have a powerful urge to slap the taste out of a mouth here...

@helios there is a difference between marriage twenty-one years ago and marriage now... and the girly romantic in me had a "squeee" moment knowing that little nugget of joy from your past though.
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chain smokin', sleep needin', apparel designin', mohawk havin', tea drinkin', steady cursin', boy charmin', card readin' rabble-rouser and amusement park cleverly disguised as a woman

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Dr. Hastings
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« Reply #1069 on: September 12, 2009, 06:54:11 am »

Alas, I think that the lady whom you think might ask me out, might.
But I'm far to busy, stressed, and worried, to do this.
I don't even have time for proper sleep anymore.
But I don't want to make her sad by saying no, so I will take the last minutes of my life, and set them aside for her, just in case. I do care for her.
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helios
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« Reply #1070 on: September 12, 2009, 11:44:50 am »

@helios there is a difference between marriage twenty-one years ago and marriage now... and the girly romantic in me had a "squeee" moment knowing that little nugget of joy from your past though.
That is so very true. And it also helps that Mum was raised a catholic, and they're both christians, so they believe in the sactuty of marriage, and the idea of divorce wasn't exactly foremost in their minds. It can work, but only in the right circumstances, which my parents had, and I doubt the people in question have.
Also, please filter most of what I say, considering that I'm quite a traditionalist. And a christian.
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Reni Valentine
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see here, Gus - nobody chaperones the chaperone

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« Reply #1071 on: September 12, 2009, 03:18:19 pm »

as to the parents, i'm not sure when my parents met. i know they married when my mum was 20 - i was in the wedding photos. split up when i was 8, divorced when i was 18, mum remarried the same year to my stepfather who she is currently separated from after 11 years of marriage.

me? well, i met the love of my young life at sixteen, married him at seventeen, had the marriage annulled a few months later and we're still good friends to this day. currently, i have a small collection of engagement rings and a proposal on the table to get married in December of 2012. but i don't think it's for me, really. i love the idea of marriage, but i find that modern marriages don't have the same meaning as they used to. i'd much rather be committed to someone without all the hoopla and fanfare.

wow, what's this soapbox doing under my feet?
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Gwenifer Scorpio
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« Reply #1072 on: September 15, 2009, 01:57:07 am »

Are beardless men OK? If not, I can go. Wink

Do tell, if you feel like venting.



Beardless men are ok. Smiley And thanks, I think I need to vent.
*vent*
So last February I was stupid and involved with two guys at once (danger signals, anyone? Tongue), broke up with the first, and promptly broke up with the second within three hours, both on bad terms. (sounds like a soap opera, right?) I don't have to see the first anymore (thank God) but I happen to run into the second one at college today. (Let's call him Ben, shall we?) I was leaving class and he was coming in and we ran into each other. *facepalm* It was obvious that we both recognized each other but it was so awkward that neither of us sad anything and I ended up literally running away.
Feel like a bloody idiot that he still nearly gives me a panic attack. Lack of breath, shaking, the whole nine yards. I have enough to deal with with panic attacks without him adding to things! And now that I know he's at school the same days as me, I'll be unconsciously keeping an eye out for him and I won't feel comfortable anymore.
*vent end*
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Athena
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« Reply #1073 on: September 15, 2009, 02:00:17 am »

It was obvious that we both recognized each other but it was so awkward that neither of us sad anything and I ended up literally running away.
Feel like a bloody idiot that he still nearly gives me a panic attack. Lack of breath, shaking, the whole nine yards. I have enough to deal with with panic attacks without him adding to things! And now that I know he's at school the same days as me, I'll be unconsciously keeping an eye out for him and I won't feel comfortable anymore.
*vent end*

Sweetie, you are so not alone in this. It took years for me not to do this with someone. Everytime I saw him I bolted in the other direction. It was kinda funny, when we finally did start speaking again he said "I thought you were mad at me or something, I wanted to talk to you, but you always walked in the other direction." So don't feel bad, you're not the only one this has happened to.
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« Reply #1074 on: September 15, 2009, 04:14:19 am »

Thanks all. I did get some laughs out of it all.  Smiley

It's not so much venting as... yeah, it's venting. Decision making, I guess.

Basically, I'm worried about wether I should go home when I get a vacation. I want to see my friends... but one of those is my former girlfriend. We're still friends, but I have to be honest with myself that I haven't really let it go. I still love her and it's only geography that separated us.

I know that she's already started dating a girl (Yes, she's bisexual. Love her the more for it). But I'm worried I couldn't handle myself in a situation where I meet. I don't really look at relationships when looking at love so I'm really bad at disconnecting myself on one level while remaining contacted on another. i.e. I want to be friends with her, she's a great person, but I don't trust myself not to be... attached, maybe? Best solution is avoid it all - there's not many other people I really want to see. But there are some - my other friend and my little sister. I guess I'm just being panickey and cowardly.

Eh, it's a stupid series of thoughts I'm beginning to think...
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