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Author Topic: Single Steampunks?  (Read 334294 times)
Miss Cheshire Cat
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« Reply #1025 on: August 10, 2009, 04:44:33 pm »

I've really begun to doubt my own sanity, when last night, I talked to my ex without a screaming, knockdown drag-out, angry, bitter bit of conversation for the first time, and we actually started to talk about getting back together. It wasn't bad until the end of the previous relationship when he decided that I was sounding a little too smart, and had to challenge me on everything, but still. I do need a bit of time to get past the fact that this was the first time neither of us were insulting every facet of each other.

I think it's almost more of a thing of showing people that we really are that screwed in the head, and I'm not making any hard decisions. It wasn't bad talking to him, as he had seemed to chill out considerably, but boyfriends are a bit of a thing that I'm not extremely excited to recycle.  Tongue
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I apply my personality in a paste- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Athena
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« Reply #1026 on: August 10, 2009, 05:25:41 pm »

Recycled boyfriends can be good and bad. On the one hand you've got someone that you're used to and is used to you and knows all of your little quirks and can deal with them (hopefully). On the other, you've got all of that backdrama as well, because let's face it, you broke up with them for a reason.

I've never wanted to revisit a relationship for that reason alone, but I understand that it works for some people.
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Gwenifer Scorpio
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« Reply #1027 on: August 10, 2009, 06:04:08 pm »

Recycled boyfriends can be good and bad. On the one hand you've got someone that you're used to and is used to you and knows all of your little quirks and can deal with them (hopefully). On the other, you've got all of that backdrama as well, because let's face it, you broke up with them for a reason.

I've never wanted to revisit a relationship for that reason alone, but I understand that it works for some people.


I've never been able to manage that. If I've dated them once, there's a good chance we won't be friends after the break-up and one hasn't talked to me since ever though I've seen him many times. Thus my single, happy state. Cheesy I prefer male friends as opposed to boyfriends.
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Athena
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« Reply #1028 on: August 10, 2009, 06:06:38 pm »

I've never been able to manage that. If I've dated them once, there's a good chance we won't be friends after the break-up and one hasn't talked to me since ever though I've seen him many times. Thus my single, happy state. Cheesy I prefer male friends as opposed to boyfriends.

Yes. Male friends are good for many things. Especially if they're bigger than you are and can hold far more liquor.  Wink And you can joke around with them much better than you can friends who are girls. I'm not a girly girl by any means, so I've always enjoyed a beer with guys better than I do a cocktail with the girls.  Grin
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Athena
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« Reply #1029 on: August 10, 2009, 06:37:32 pm »

I've had that same problem with dating sites before. I'm 27, and yet I'll get messages from men far older than I am (ew). And I mean FAR older. I don't mind about 6 or 7 years older, but when you get into the 20 plus older, that's a little too much of a generation gap. *grumbles about dirty old men*

Can I have another biscuit please? ^_^
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Siryn
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« Reply #1030 on: August 10, 2009, 07:12:16 pm »

better than people far OLDER than you...
seriously i'm on okcupid and i keep getting 50 year old men messaging me....
It's distressing, and slightly creepy, are there no 30 something men on the planet?
*sorry, mildly depressed rant, goes to cook biscuits and drink tea to feel better*

I have the SAME problem..and along with that..the really gross guys I'm not attracted to hitting on me..I lied to a guy at San Diego Comic Con who was hitting on me at a shuttle stop and told him my name was something it wasn't and that I had a boyfriend (a lie)..and he replied with "well that's okay" and I looked at him and said "no it's not!" and he FINALLY got a clue and left me alone..

......I don't know why I attract these dudes..and I'm sick of 40+ being the majority of who's interested in me..I'm freaking 28 and would love for someone in a maybe 6 year age span to be interested that ISN'T gross...
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Miss Groves
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« Reply #1031 on: August 10, 2009, 09:37:55 pm »

agreed on that score.
I have one guy who won't leave me alone and keeps pushing to meet, i guess i'm too polite to just say bugger off, i've hinted i'm not keen but he won't leave me alone, i'm going to have to find out how to bar him...
thank god i didn't give out my msn.

I'm actually too chicken to go up to anyone in person and ask them out as well....
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helios
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« Reply #1032 on: August 14, 2009, 04:58:17 am »

Well, does anyone remember that I asked a fine lass to my school ball? Well, I have unfortunately struck out. She was flattered and such, but she didn't feel comfortable going to a ball for another school. Oh well. C'est la vie. The ball is tomorrow. Perhaps I shall have some pictures after that to show you. See if I can't knock Tobias off his pedestal.
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mr_Apricot
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will_duffield
« Reply #1033 on: August 15, 2009, 02:08:37 pm »

Single here, a category in which i was placed in just last week, the lass i had been seeing said that i was cynical and jaded, though i believe it has far more to do with my reluctance to stop spending time with my other friends in order to exclusively be with her. Such is life, the girl before this left me because apparently i am unattractive, and even ugly. She then proceeded to engage in carnal relations with a most disturbing number of men, especially for one of her age. Quite sad, and a self-esteem blow if i am so mean in my looks that not even a budding woman of the night is attracted to me.
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Athena
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« Reply #1034 on: August 15, 2009, 04:32:04 pm »

Okay, I need to rant for a bit.

I'm with someone now. Okay, I admit it. I think about this person constantly and I want to be with them. Period. End of discussion. If heaven and earth ever needed a reason to move, it would be so that I can be with him.

But answer me this. Now guys are hitting on me. WTF!?!??!?! Where were they months ago when I would have died for the chance to be with someone? Huh? Why, now that I'm committed, are they even bothering to consider me?

*kicks something in frustration*
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stardust
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« Reply #1035 on: August 16, 2009, 12:56:29 pm »

i've given up looking too. when i look it never finds me and when i stop looking it appears. the thing is, i'm quite happy in my own company anyway and am not that fussed about being in a relationship. i've got one sister who hasn't been out of a relationship since her early teens (she's nearly 30 now) and she always hops straight from one guy to the next. i don't think it can be that healthy to spend no time alone at all because how will you work out who you are?
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Lucy Heart
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« Reply #1036 on: August 16, 2009, 03:48:13 pm »

I went through a spell of being constantly in a relationship and finally said forget it about a year ago. I've been single since and I've learned more about myself than I ever would if I was in a relationship. I'm at the point now though where I'm looking for someone to cuddle with, nothing serious. so yep i'm single-o
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Miss Groves
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« Reply #1037 on: August 16, 2009, 05:12:43 pm »

i've been single 13 years or so now.
I'm used to my own company and don't mind being on my own. doesn't mean i'm not lonely though.
I've never been in a serious relationship either.
So to be honest, a LOT of us are in the same boat really. Talking about it can really help, like on here.
Sometimes i wonder if anyone ever really does find the right person or whether people stick with what is familiar and comfortable.
At 33 i thought i'd know what it was i wanted, but i more or less know who i am and what i'm capable of.
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Taillte
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« Reply #1038 on: August 17, 2009, 04:30:12 am »

I think it's because they're into more interesting things over there and aren't as...I don't know...ridiculous as Americans.

I mean, in America we've got fat people who eat three BigMacs for every meal and sit on their rumps in a dark room playing xbox live all day every day or we've got extremely skinny people who don't eat/throw up each meal and spend their time trying to make themselves look like dolls.  I mean, those are two extreme spectrums...however, it's a pretty accurate portrayal of Americans.

I sound horrible....I just don't like what America has become.
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Athena
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« Reply #1039 on: August 17, 2009, 04:57:35 pm »

I was wondering about the "ways no one thought to consider" part. Do you know something we don't?

I generally know things that others don't, but not in this context. Wink I am of the belief that the options we, as humans, tend think we have are not always the only options we actually have. Sometimes the unexpected offers itself. It's a matter of being open to the possibility.

This is true. But, given the options of jumping after something that could potentially be better, even though you would have no way of being positive of that, or staying where you are and doing what you've been doing because you have security, what would you pick?
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Athena
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« Reply #1040 on: August 17, 2009, 05:14:21 pm »

We've gone from Rebel Without a Cause, to Polite Youth with Mechanical Claws.

I want that on a t-shirt.  Grin

I agree...things change and turn eventually. I think the question is how long it will take though.

And I'm the more adventurous type. For me, staying in the same place means nothing's changing, nothing's progressing, and that makes me so frustrated. I'd rather jump and see what happens than stay in my comfort zone.
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Athena
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« Reply #1041 on: August 17, 2009, 05:27:05 pm »

Me too. Which is funny when you think about it. I want to be able to change and switch around whenever I feel like it, but most people's notion of safe and secure is the same old day to day drudgery. "I'll stay here because everything's the same and everyday is the same and there's no change and nothing disrupts my little world." For me that's suffocating.

I don't think that anyone ever really wants to be comfortable in that respect even if they don't want to admit it. If you don't push things, then you don't have any idea what you're capable of.
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Miss Groves
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« Reply #1042 on: August 23, 2009, 10:47:28 am »

wow, i used to love my dads calculator cos it had those sectional numbers in teeny glowing red and coloured buttons...
now i want to go ransack his garage to find it!
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Silent Theatre
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« Reply #1043 on: August 23, 2009, 11:00:43 am »

I actually went out last night, yes, to a place where there were actual people.
It was a pleasent enough evening with friends, then 2 guys turned up that I didnt know.
After them being there for 10 minutes one of them introduced himself to me and spent the rest of the evening trying to well...how can i put this nicely......take me back to my place to 'court' me.
I have no problem with him being 10 years yonger but the fact that he was getting progressively drunker throughout his 'courtship' was very unattractive.

Is there a reason why guys do the drinking thing?I know Im a bit of a minger but surely a certain level of sobriety would be appropriate.
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Delirium Datura
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« Reply #1044 on: August 26, 2009, 08:59:29 pm »

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm in a dilemma.  The man I'm involved with told me that 'people' told him he should cheat on me and leave me, but he wouldn't tell me who said it...now, I don't know who to trust of my 'so-called friends and family' (that's all he ever talks to)... my response was, " I don't love you anyway... so go ahead and take the suggestions."  Now, we're not talking and I want to know who I can trust and who I can't.  Right now, as sad as it is... the only people I can trust are on here.  What should I do?
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SweetestPoison
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« Reply #1045 on: August 26, 2009, 09:06:49 pm »

whoa, that is some serious stuff! first of all, *hug and makes you hot chocolate*
Now... sorry if I put this so bluntly, but what kind of ass is he to tell you this? In my opinion he just wanted to see your reaction and bully you. It might even be that no one told him such a thing and he just wanted to "test" you.
Failing that, are there any people who were not too thrilled about your romance? and why?
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Thaumaturgical Nuissance
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« Reply #1046 on: August 26, 2009, 09:27:17 pm »

*offers a blanket to go with the cocoa*

I realize this isn't the answer you were looking for, but if he didn't do it it means he still has some kind of decency, and he was decent enough to tell you, rather than artificially creating a scenario in order to dump you without being man enough to do it to your face. If he did it, well, give me and the boys his address.

Now, if it was some "test" of devotion, as poison points out, you reacted perfectly. People who feel the need to test how much you love them at every turn aren't worth being in a long term relationship with, because, quite simply, you can't trust them.

As for who you can trust? Look into his friends, keep an eye out for people you and he used to hang out with that look guilty or won't look you in the eye anymore, and then ask them politely, in private, if they'd know anything about it.
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Delirium Datura
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« Reply #1047 on: August 26, 2009, 09:41:26 pm »

whoa, that is some serious stuff! first of all, *hug and makes you hot chocolate*
Now... sorry if I put this so bluntly, but what kind of ass is he to tell you this? In my opinion he just wanted to see your reaction and bully you. It might even be that no one told him such a thing and he just wanted to "test" you.
Failing that, are there any people who were not too thrilled about your romance? and why?


Thank god he's not home right now... he monitors EVERYTHING I do... and he said that he wouldn't tell me because he didn't want to "hurt" me any more... so now, I'm paranoid about EVERYBODY... I turned down someone I truly loved because I didn't want to 'hurt' him or disrupt what we have, but now,... so much has changed...
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SweetestPoison
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« Reply #1048 on: August 26, 2009, 09:52:30 pm »

oh boy.. that does not sound healthy, and this is coming from a girl who´s been there. He´s hurting you already, so I´m not very convinced by his argument. Also, excuse me if that is an impertinent question, but why did you turn down someone you truly loved for him? Was it not wanting to hurt him or fearing the consequences?
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Delirium Datura
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« Reply #1049 on: August 26, 2009, 10:04:25 pm »

oh boy.. that does not sound healthy, and this is coming from a girl who´s been there. He´s hurting you already, so I´m not very convinced by his argument. Also, excuse me if that is an impertinent question, but why did you turn down someone you truly loved for him? Was it not wanting to hurt him or fearing the consequences?
Both... plus some 'young' consequences...I just don't know what to do, and am hurt, and want to run... but I can't...
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